fics by Erin Ptah

Title: Calyx
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: "Stephen" and family; eventual "Stephen"/OCs; Jon
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Young "Stephen" doesn't have the greatest parents, but a supportive neighbor changes the course of his life. Comfort fluff with a twist.

(This is a WIP that I stopped properly writing in late 2011, with the unfinished scenes loosely sketched-in. It's never going to be finished, at least not as originally intended, but it should hold together well-enough to be worth posting. Warning for character death, though it's only from old age.)

( He didn't even go to church, although Mama said he was a nice man: a little eccentric, but still a Poor Dear Thing for reasons that nobody talked about. )

Title: Rogues' Gallery
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon & "Stephen", others
Contents: Drugging, baby-kidnapping, sexualized brainwashing
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Four vignettes about four different villains, from the universe where "Stephen" is a forcefield-generating superhero and Jon is his Lois Lane. (A very belated response to some OT prompts.)

Fills some squares from my hc_bingo round 4 card: "hostages" for #1, "making deals with demons" for #2, "brainwashing" for #3, "poltergeist" for #4.

( 'Where's your sense of adventure?' hisses the Eagle. His sidekick, the actual eagle known as Junior, fluffs its feathers in indignant agreement from its perch on the costumed crimefighter's shoulder. )

Title: I Got 99 Problems, But The Truth Ain't One
Rating: Through PG-13
Cast: "Stephen", Jon, Olivia, Kristen, Wyatt, Al, Elliot, Neil Degrasse Tyson, liberal!Stephen, John Oliver, Jessica, Jimmy, Rob Corddry, Tad, Ed Helms, Sam, Jason, Patrick Stewart, Al
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A compilation of single-sentence fics, written for prompt threads over several months until I cut them off after #100. Including lots of characters, various AUs, and two mini-continuities (one about "Stephen" recovering from an accident, one about his wife kicking him out).

Mirror on the AO3.


( John declares his side to be Team Glasses, Wyatt counters by establishing Team Beard (and declaring Jon an honorary member), and they never actually get around to the game, what with spending most of the afternoon arguing which side gets to claim Al. )

Give me a character or pairing and I will write snippets of ten different alternate universes for it. One line, ten lines, a ficlet if you're lucky.

01. Wild West
02. Cyberpunk
03. Shapeshifters
04. Pirates
05. …In SPACE!!
06. Born Another Gender
07. Schoolfic
08. Police/Firefighters
09. Urban Fantasy
10. Harem

Fandoms I'm up for writing: fake news, Hellsing, Doctor Who, Madoka Magica, Sailor Moon, But I'm A Cat Person, Read or Die, Tek Jansen. (Feel free to suggest an alternate for "IN SPACE" if you ask for a character who's canonically there!)


FILLS

Doctor Who
+Ten Doctors, Ten AUs (Teaspoon | AO3) (Jack, One through Ten, Ace, Romana, Rose | PG)
+What This AU Needs Is More Nitro-9 (Teaspoon | AO3) (Ace, Seven | G)

Fake News
+Ten Wyatt&Jessica AUs (Wyatt, Jessica | PG)
+It's What Lincoln Would Have AU'd (Jon, "Stephen", the Wørd, Charlene, Neil, Kilborn, Oprah | through R)
+Ten Olivia/Kristen AUs (Olivia/Kristen, Jon, "Stephen", correspondents | through PG-13)
Note: all three fakenews harem AUs are part of the same continuity.

Read Or Die
+AUs From Beyond The Ceiling (AO3) (Nenene/Yomiko, Maggie, Michelle, Anita, Junior, Nancy | through PG)

Title: Sense and Sensibility and Vampires
Rating: PG
Warnings: Blood, character undeath
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

From the Eagle of Hermes 'verse, with spoilers for the main story. For the fakenews_fanfic prompt "the five senses." Or, in Stephen's case, five and then some. Illustration here. Mirror on the AO3.

( If the peach tasted ashen and watery in his mouth, it was because of the inferiority of non-South-Carolina stock, that was all. )

Title: Sweetness Follows; or, The Remarkably Low-Angst Transition of Joan Stewart
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, transphobia, references to bullying, bad accents, outrageous drag names.
Characters/pairings: Jo(a)n(/Tracey), "Stephen", John Oliver, Wyatt, Kristen
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

What it says on the tin. Jon switches names, starts on hormones, deals with mood swings, and gets support from almost all quarters, in the office and out. Stephen has a rocky time with the whole idea, but who didn't see that coming?

Last-minute amnesty fill for queer_fest, for the prompt: (skip) Any fandom, any MtF character, why she doesn't want surgery--a girl can have a penis dammit! This should NOT be a problem!

In spite of the timing, it's been in progress since back when that was an lgbtfest prompt. Takes place around spring/summer of 2009.

Outtakes including Jo(a)n's family: The Clownfish Files. Related stories: Transverse

( 'Do you know how rare true ballsiness is? How could you jeopardize our country by making that resource even more scarce? And in a time of war, too! I should call Homeland Security on you!' )

Title: Hagiography (II)
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: OC/"Stephen", Jon/Tracey
Warnings: Everything from previous parts, now with extra violence and (skip) character death
Beta: sarcasticsra
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The fictional characters are fictional, not mine, and used with love, not profit.

The long-awaited climax of the Green & Gray 'verse. (If your memories of previous installments have gotten fuzzy and you were thinking of doing a reread, now would be the time.)

In which Jon swoops in and carries Stephen to safety under cover of night. At least, that was the plan.

( 'Is there anything else you absolutely need?' )

Title: Fugue in C Minor
Rating: PG
Warnings: See the prompt.
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon, OCs
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

...So of course I set out to post a bunch of fics on the week when everyone's on vacation. Clever plan of mine, that.

This next one was written for a prompt from paperscribe, the content of which is spoilery in itself: (skip) Jon experiences a dissociative fugue. (The triggering trauma is unspecified.)

Takes place relatively early in Jon's TDS days, where he has devoted fans but isn't a household name. Pretend that's enough to make it make sense.

( The staff usually takes turns with the worst customers, but over the month and a half since Daniel started working here Colbert has more or less adopted him. )

Title: Seven
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", liberal!"Stephen", happy!"Stephen", Steve ColberT, Jermaine Maine, Sweetness, Esteban, Jon, Allison
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Based on the virtues given in Dante's Purgatorio, where each corresponds to one of the Deadly Sins. Seven sentences, seven virtues, seven "Stephens" (and associated doppelgangers, alter egos, and hallucinatory voices):

( ...it's just the guy in the shocking pink, smiling like a sunbeam and holding out an envelope. )

Title: Stay (4/4)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Nothing that hasn't been in the story already.
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Sam/Jason, Scarborough, Aasif
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Senateverse. Stephen comes home.

(See also the author's notes for research and commentary.)

( 'Look at this! Would I have let someone perpetuate this horror on my beautiful hair for anyone less than our soldiers?' )