fics by Erin Ptah

Title: Little Red State Parka With Hood And Gloves
Rating: Soft R
Contents: Person-with-animal-characteristics!kink, light voyeurism, a gun chase
Characters/pairings: Wolf!Jon/"Stephen", Willard Mittington "Romney" Romney, bird!Olivia/pie, Sarah Palin
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

I retconned part of Little Red State Riding Hood, so now the Wolf does actually eat the Candidate instead of having him put on a bus. Which leaves him with this whole empty mansion to hang out in. Stephen sticks around, too, because he is weak for a small fuzzy person in a suit. (With illustrations and more illustrations!)

And then there is some adventure in which Olivia tweets, Jon gets shot at from a helicopter, and Stephen comes to the rescue.

For my hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "forced to rely on enemy/rival." (A wolf relying on creatures who might under other circumstances have been wolf chow totally counts.) Mirror on the AO3.

( And sure, Jon ate actual humans once in a while, but everyone had their flaws. Why, Stephen's own dearly-deceased Candidate had killed lots of people in his day (if by 'people' you meant 'corporations', which Stephen did). )

Title: Maxim's Finest
Rating: R (vague sex, one NSFW image)
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia(/Kristen)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A ficlet in honor of both Stephen and Olivia Munn making the Maxim Top 100. Mostly in text-message format.

Mirror on the AO3.

( THE SEXIEST OF ALL THE PLACES OBVIOUSLY )

Title: Blue, Thinking About You
Rating: PG
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Siri, Meg, Tad, Gipper
Contents: Wifeless AU, ear!kink, bread abuse
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Stephen, anxious to know what Jon really thinks of him, stumbles on a way to find out for sure...which doesn't go at all the way he planned. Turns out Jon has more secrets than he bargained for (and in the meantime, Stephen's conscience just might be catching up with him).

Mirror on the AO3 -- complete with special effects that aren't supported on DW.

For a fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt from gaudy_night: Jon/"Stephen", after a freak accident, he gains the ability to hear what the other is really thinking. Title is from the carol Blue Christmas.

( If you were trying to seduce your gay friend for purely exploitative purposes, and maybe enjoying his company and feeling that his happiness made you feel warmer than hot chocolate along the way, that was still safely heterosexual on your part. )

Title: Sense and Sensibility and Vampires
Rating: PG
Warnings: Blood, character undeath
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

From the Eagle of Hermes 'verse, with spoilers for the main story. For the fakenews_fanfic prompt "the five senses." Or, in Stephen's case, five and then some. Illustration here. Mirror on the AO3.

( If the peach tasted ashen and watery in his mouth, it was because of the inferiority of non-South-Carolina stock, that was all. )

Title: Red String
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Jon/Tracey, families
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The fictional characters are fictional, not mine, and used with love, not profit.

An epilogue to Green & Gray. Just enough to tie up the loose ends.

( And when Stephen wants something from Jon he usually gets it, so it'll save time to just give in now. )

Title: Night Kept Chain'd Below
Rating: R
Warnings: Gore, fantasies of violence
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Another recent prompt: "Nightmare", from w_thit. Takes place in the Eagle of Hermes universe, some time in the early 2000s. The title continues with the whole Tempest-quoting theme it picked up. Mirror on the AO3.

( The flying is nice. That's something, at least. Rushing above the skyscrapers in a swarm of eyes and wings and radar-dish ears, or floating insubstantial down the streets and letting the city breathe him in and out. )

Title: The Catboy, The Phlebotinum, And The Hot-Air Balloon (Not Necessarily In That Order)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Gets kind of 9/11y. Violence, mortal peril, (skip) potential body-morphing squick, antagonist death, protagonist apparent death. Also, crack of the finest order.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Written for paperscribe in fakenews_fanfic's 2010 Secret Santa. Prompt: "Stephen" has always wanted to have superhero/magical powers. However, when Jon accidentally discovers that he has powers, "Stephen" is very upset.

Now with illustrations! Secret Alter Ego (WARNING: spoilers) and Indecision 2002 (the news team).

Mirrored on the AO3.




This is set in the universe of Empowered. For reference, all the superheroes mentioned are on this page, but no familiarity with the series is necessary; I just needed a generic background mileu full of superheroes.

Takes place around the era of Indecision 2002. "Stephen" is a TDS correspondent and occasional substitute host, with active compatriots including Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, Rachael Harris, Mo Rocca, and Stacey Grenrock-Woods, and of course your host, who also plays all the title roles. It makes sense in context. (Sort of.)

( 'Most likely? Someone with hex powers was doing a flyover, and they accidentally dropped a curse along the way. Remember in April when one of them turned half the city purple.' )

Title: Microfics
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

A meme. The rules: Ten fics. Ten genres. Ten words or less.

Bonus references to Cardcaptor Sakura and Neon Genesis Evangelion (with art).


( Stephen's self-control is iron. )

Title: Afterwards, Wyatt Was Never Able To Look At Salad Tongs The Same Way Again
Series: TDS
Characters/Pairings: Wyatt/Kristen/John-O/Sam/Jason(/Aasif/???)
Rating: PG-13

The prompt demanded something NC-17. This is what I ended up writing instead.

Illustration by aybara_max.

( Her hair fanned out along Wyatt's shoulder, where she had started to doze off without even bothering to shed her thigh-high leather boots first. )

Title: Why Should I Care? (6/?)
Series: Strangers With Candy
Pairings: Seamus/OMC; Chuck/Geoffrey
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Language; men in dresses; sexytime.
Beta: stellar_dust
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use.

Summary: George tries on some new clothes, and Seamus has a couple of epiphanies.

This is Rose's dress. The blue dress looks like this.

Previous chapters here.

( 'Does there have to be an insidious motive for everything? Can't a guy just go dress shopping without it being some kind of plot?' )