ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Shout*For [Table of Contents]
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", "Stephen"/OCs, Jimmy Fallon, Olivia/Kristen, Wyatt, Tucker Carlson, Brian Williams, Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Anthony Weiner, other correspondents and cameos, a few OCs.
Rating: through R
Contents: Drinking/drugs, awful and/or neglectful adults, background *isms, teen/teen sexuality, sexual abuse of a minor.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Fake news AU. Our heroes (and some villains) (and some imports from The Newsroom) are all performers in various blocs of the Disney tween music/TV/movie empire, which naturally is amazingly screwed-up behind the scenes.

Jon and "Stephen" are in a manufactured boy band with Jimmy and Tucker. They're about to get some cross-promotion with Olivia, the local equivalent of Miley Cyrus. These kids are only thrown together based on whatever will get the best publicity, but there are still genuine Best Friendships Forever to be forged...which is good, because with high-pressure careers in the fishbowl of celebrity, sometimes friends are the only thing that keep you going.

Chapters and bonus material )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: I Got 99 Problems, But The Truth Ain't One
Rating: Through PG-13
Cast: "Stephen", Jon, Olivia, Kristen, Wyatt, Al, Elliot, Neil Degrasse Tyson, liberal!Stephen, John Oliver, Jessica, Jimmy, Rob Corddry, Tad, Ed Helms, Sam, Jason, Patrick Stewart, Al
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A compilation of single-sentence fics, written for prompt threads over several months until I cut them off after #100. Including lots of characters, various AUs, and two mini-continuities (one about "Stephen" recovering from an accident, one about his wife kicking him out).

Mirror on the AO3.


John declares his side to be Team Glasses, Wyatt counters by establishing Team Beard (and declaring Jon an honorary member), and they never actually get around to the game, what with spending most of the afternoon arguing which side gets to claim Al. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Little Red State Parka With Hood And Gloves
Rating: Soft R
Contents: Person-with-animal-characteristics!kink, light voyeurism, a gun chase
Characters/pairings: Wolf!Jon/"Stephen", Willard Mittington "Romney" Romney, bird!Olivia/pie, Sarah Palin
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

I retconned part of Little Red State Riding Hood, so now the Wolf does actually eat the Candidate instead of having him put on a bus. Which leaves him with this whole empty mansion to hang out in. Stephen sticks around, too, because he is weak for a small fuzzy person in a suit. (With illustrations and more illustrations!)

And then there is some adventure in which Olivia tweets, Jon gets shot at from a helicopter, and Stephen comes to the rescue.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "forced to rely on enemy/rival." (A wolf relying on creatures who might under other circumstances have been wolf chow totally counts.) Mirror on the AO3.

And sure, Jon ate actual humans once in a while, but everyone had their flaws. Why, Stephen's own dearly-deceased Candidate had killed lots of people in his day (if by 'people' you meant 'corporations', which Stephen did). )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Maxim's Finest
Rating: R (vague sex, one NSFW image)
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia(/Kristen)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A ficlet in honor of both Stephen and Olivia Munn making the Maxim Top 100. Mostly in text-message format.

Mirror on the AO3.

THE SEXIEST OF ALL THE PLACES OBVIOUSLY )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The DM of +4 Ohana
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Swearing, foreplay, references to IRL childhood angst, corruption of the youth
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Jon[athan], Olivia, Kristen, Demetri, Wyatt, Sam(/Jason)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For the prompt "Fixed" from [personal profile] politicette. Trouble threatens to break up the most beautiful gay dog-grooming couple in all of 1980's California. Can Olivia, with the help of her quirky multi-ethnic posse, figure out a way to save it?

Or, more seriously: a story about three people trying to find a way to balance each other out, plus the friends who play D&D with them.

'Their love is beautiful and true like a Disney movie. Stephen even has pretty princess eyelashes! They're meant to be!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: E.B.B.G.A.S-T-T-F.F.
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", Olivia
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

For the prompt "Fixed" from [personal profile] politicette. Based on this video in which Olivia introduces her charity work, and clearly foreshadows her destiny to one day have "Stephen" as an arch-nemesis. (Or at least a foil.)

'What are you even doing here?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Series: Fake News; Hodgmanverse; various crossover shoutouts
Rating: Through R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See individual chapters
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", past "Stephen"/O'Reilly; Larry/John Oliver; Olivia/Kristen; ensemble cast

Tales from a magical mystical medieval AU, full of gratuitous glowing gemstones and golden glasses. If you have a thing for rich and detailed original worldbuilding, this may not be the 'verse for you. If you're in the mood for soulbonds, unicorns, and a whole lot of magic jewels, you've come to the right place.

♘ Castle Down

TDS meets slavefic meets Princess Gwenivere and the Jewel Riders, with just a dash of mole-men.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Illustrations


♘ Castle Walls

The love story of a foreign princess and a fire mage, featuring kidnappers, wizardry, and scanlators.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Illustrations


Castle Crossing

A one-shot crossover with the canon TDS/TCR world. Just for fun, not part of the continuity.


♘ Castles In The Sand

As per fantasy convention, it's time for our heroes to hire a ship and set sail for the End of the World.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue
Illustrations I
Illustrations II
Beta'd by the endlessly helpful [personal profile] queenfanfiction.
Fills a square on my [community profile] hc_bingo card.


Stone By Stone

A one-shot that flashes back to Stephen's life in Vulpis. Also, a 30 Rock crossover. Just because.


♘ Extras

Castle Chibis (art)
Turrets & Moats (soundtrack)
Battered Rose (non-canon alternate ending to Castles In The Sand)

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