fics by Erin Ptah

Title: Stone By Stone
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen"/Bill O'Reilly, "Stephen"/OMC, Liz/Jack, "Stephen"/Liz, various FOX cameos
Warnings: Slavefic, associated abuse (sexual and otherwise), (skip) non-con, non-main character death
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report and the creators of 30 Rock. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. With apologies to everyone involved, especially Tina Fey.

A prequel one-shot for the Castle Down 'verse, which for some reason turned into a 30 Rock crossover. Scenes from Stephen's life in Vulpis before the war, and his doomed friendship with one of the other "pets" he got to know there.

Refers to the Wørd "Bite The Hand That Feeds You", which unwittingly provided this universe a bit of backstory. Other references: the O'Reilly tartan; the Megyn Kelly meme. Title is another lyric from the Emilie Autumn song.

( 'I'm on a very important mission for General Bill O'Reilly, and you are infringing on his right to have me walk here!' )

Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: "Stephen", Olivia, and friends (Castleverse AU)
Title: Turrets & Moats

Official soundtrack for the heroes of the Castle Down universe, a fantasy slavefic AU featuring all that is best in life: soulbonds, unicorns, and magical fempreg.

Thanks to politicette and queenfanfiction for song suggestions!

( Far beyond these castle walls, where the distant harbor meets the sky )

Title: Castles In The Sand (10/10+epilogue)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Jon, c!Stephen/Tad/Amy, Bobby, Alan, Jay, Meg, Buttons, Rebecca Drysdale, (skip) a tentacle monster, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Paulina Porizkova, Helen Thomas, Martha Stewart, Stephanie Tubbs-Jones, Reza Aslan
Warnings:
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For those of you who have the misfortune not to recognize Rebecca Drysdale...run, don't walk, to watch Time Traveling Lesbian.

Amazing beta job by queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Chapter index: Table of Contents

( Some relationships are patched up, others not so much, and the H.M.S. Report reaches the End of the World. )

Title: Castles In The Sand (8/10)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Buttons, Jon, Allison, c!Stephen/Tad/Amy
Warnings: Past trauma, (skip) fire! (Again!)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Well, would you look at that. New pairing tags.

Amazing beta job by queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Chapter index: Table of Contents

( In which our heroes decide to coordinate their breakdowns, and the term DIAF becomes uncomfortably literal. )

Title: Castles In The Sand (6/10)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Jon/c!Stephen, c!Stephen/Amy (subtext), c!Stephen/Tad (also subtext), Buttons, (skip) Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres
Warnings: Foreplay, tumbling (literal)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Makes reference to this clip.

Amazing beta job by queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Chapter index: Table of Contents

( This is the chapter with the Big Reveal. Also, pirates. )

Title: Castles In The Sand (4/10)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Jon/c!Stephen, Congresswoman Duchess Norton, c!Stephen/Tad (subtext), Amy
Warnings: Fire!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Amazing beta job by queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Chapter index: Table of Contents

( Olivia tackles her seasickness, Tad and Amy are helpful, and Stephen, as in any universe, can't resist picking a fight with Eleanor Holmes Norton. )

Title: Castle Crossing
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen" (Castleverse); Jon, "Stephen", Olivia (canon 'verse)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Response to a "give me two AUs to cross over" prompt: Castleverse Jon/"Stephen" meets canon Jon/"Stephen", for kribban. Doesn't affect the main story, but if it did, it would fit chronologically before Castles in the Sand. Fictional languages transposed into real ones for crossover purposes.

( The sword, she realized, was only the beginning; he was dressed like he'd just come from a Ren Faire. )

Title: Castles In The Sand (1/10)
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen, Jon/c!Stephen, Hodgman, Miss Jenny Slothodor (a cavern singer), Sam(/Jason), Wilmore/Oliver
Warnings: Sexy sex; gratuitous bathing scene. Eventually: (skip) pregnancy, potential abortion, references to past traumas, magical fempreg, more sex, mortal peril
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

It's the third installment in the magical fantasy epic. If we've learned anything from Narnia—not to mention Pirates of the Caribbean, Shrek, and even Tolkien—that means it's time for a voyage to the End of the World. (Almost everything else about this story would probably make C. S. Lewis spin in his grave, but what can you do.)

That's right, folks, the Castleverse threequel is finally out of the "wistful hint-dropping" stage and into the "actual posting" one :D

Amazing beta job by queenfanfiction. Decorative capitals by Daily Drop Cap. Title comes from the Philosopher Kings song. To get up to speed on the prequels, see the Castleverse Table of Contents.

( Stephen and Olivia parlay their geekiness into a job; Olivia and Kristen parlay their geekiness into hot sex. But just when everything seems to be going swimmingly, Kristen's fire powers decide to take a holiday. )

Title: Castle Walls (7/8)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, everyone and the kitchen sink
Warnings: Lots of fire, (skip) mortal peril
( Two disclaimers, with love )

Pay no attention to the slapdash nature of the legalese in this part. (Hopefully you weren't reading this for the law drama, either.)

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Kristen and company bring the pwn, but the last trap isn't sprung yet. )

Title: Castle Walls (5/8)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: (skip) Kidnapping
Pairings/Characters: Jon/c!Stephen, Olivia/Kristen, John/Larry, Sam/Jason
( Two disclaimers, with love )

The honorifics are Japanese, or at least the American otaku versions thereof; -hime is "princess", -sensei is "teacher". Bunshinjutsu is a technique straight out of Naruto. The bit about Olivia's name is true.

Decorative capitals are from Daily Drop Cap. For the rest of the story, see here.

( Olivia and Stephen find themselves in deep trouble, while Jon and Kristen round up a search party. )