Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2009-12-29 07:09 pm
ptahrrific) wrote2009-12-29 07:09 pm
Fake News: Assorted Belatedly Collected Drabbles (Sam, Jon, and Stephen Edition)
Title: Assorted Belatedly Collected Drabbles (Sam, Jon, and Stephen Edition)
Series: TDS/TCR
Disclaimer: Works of parody. Not real; not mine.
More long-lost drabbles from 2006, plus something a bit more recent. Mostly Jon'n'"Stephen" this time. But also Sam!
Title: Fresh Twists
Characters/Pairings: Sam, an interviewee
Rating: PG
Notes: Drabble-and-a-half. Written during the days when Sam was the only female regular in the fakenewsverse.
The interview with the senator is not going well. That is, she's being accurate and reasonable and intelligent, which means Samantha Bee can't think of any clever put-downs, and the audience isn't going to laugh.
Time to fall back on an old standard. The senator's female, but that'll just give it a fresh twist.
Sam interrupts a thoughtful discourse on universal health care with an indignant "Are you looking at my boobs?"
The senator gives her an amused smile. "Why, yes," she replies. "Yes, I am."
Sam doesn't miss a beat. "Want to get a cup of coffee later?" she counters, with a lascivious wink. This isn't the twist she was expecting, but she's a comedian; she takes what she gets and runs with it.
The next morning, when she wakes up with a very congressional pantsuit strewn across her bedroom floor, Sam wonders if perhaps she ran too far.
Title: The Last Best Hope
Characters/Pairings: Jon, Bill Bennett, Stephen, Bobby
Rating: G
Notes: Follows the two-part Bill Bennett interview, and its follow-up.
When the interview first aired, Stephen was delighted.
"That man has the right idea," he told anyone who would listen, and ordered his own copy of America: The Last Best Hope.
The next day, when the show opened and the cheering had died down, Jon stammered through the question of what they had talked about while the cameras weren’t recording.
Twelve to fourteen business days later, Bobby found a box from Amazon in the garbage. It hadn’t been opened, but it was a wreck. Almost as if the poor thing had been stomped on, by somebody with very expensive shoes.
Title: Blame The Lutherans
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Bobby
Rating: G
Notes: Comes right before this clip.
"There’s . . . uh . . . a backlog! At the factory. When you declared Lutherans 'Dead To You', they started making cards for every individual Lutheran. It’s holding things up."
"So there's no way to put Jon properly On Notice by Monday's show?"
"No, Stephen. Sorry."
"But I said I would! I can’t back down now. These colors don't run!"
"Maybe you could improvise? There's an old whiteboard in the supply closet."
"Great! Do that. Knew I hired you for a reason. Frankly, Bobby, this is kind of a relief. I wasn’t looking forward to putting Jon On Notice."
"Never would have guessed, Stephen."
Title: Temptation
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Rating: PG
Jon couldn’t help it.
It was wrong. It was why Stephen regularly decried him as a sexual predator. But the other man was asleep, defenseless – he wouldn’t even have to know.
As quietly as he could, Jon knelt by the couch.
Two fingertips: that was enough. He rested them delicately on that exposed bit of flesh, tracing its soft curves . . .
Stephen woke with a yelp, flailing blindly. Jon shot away from him like a startled cat.
“God, Jon!” he panted, when at last he spotted his accoster. “Why do you have this sick fascination with my ear?”
Series: TDS/TCR
Disclaimer: Works of parody. Not real; not mine.
More long-lost drabbles from 2006, plus something a bit more recent. Mostly Jon'n'"Stephen" this time. But also Sam!
Title: Fresh Twists
Characters/Pairings: Sam, an interviewee
Rating: PG
Notes: Drabble-and-a-half. Written during the days when Sam was the only female regular in the fakenewsverse.
The interview with the senator is not going well. That is, she's being accurate and reasonable and intelligent, which means Samantha Bee can't think of any clever put-downs, and the audience isn't going to laugh.
Time to fall back on an old standard. The senator's female, but that'll just give it a fresh twist.
Sam interrupts a thoughtful discourse on universal health care with an indignant "Are you looking at my boobs?"
The senator gives her an amused smile. "Why, yes," she replies. "Yes, I am."
Sam doesn't miss a beat. "Want to get a cup of coffee later?" she counters, with a lascivious wink. This isn't the twist she was expecting, but she's a comedian; she takes what she gets and runs with it.
The next morning, when she wakes up with a very congressional pantsuit strewn across her bedroom floor, Sam wonders if perhaps she ran too far.
Title: The Last Best Hope
Characters/Pairings: Jon, Bill Bennett, Stephen, Bobby
Rating: G
Notes: Follows the two-part Bill Bennett interview, and its follow-up.
When the interview first aired, Stephen was delighted.
"That man has the right idea," he told anyone who would listen, and ordered his own copy of America: The Last Best Hope.
The next day, when the show opened and the cheering had died down, Jon stammered through the question of what they had talked about while the cameras weren’t recording.
Twelve to fourteen business days later, Bobby found a box from Amazon in the garbage. It hadn’t been opened, but it was a wreck. Almost as if the poor thing had been stomped on, by somebody with very expensive shoes.
Title: Blame The Lutherans
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Bobby
Rating: G
Notes: Comes right before this clip.
"There’s . . . uh . . . a backlog! At the factory. When you declared Lutherans 'Dead To You', they started making cards for every individual Lutheran. It’s holding things up."
"So there's no way to put Jon properly On Notice by Monday's show?"
"No, Stephen. Sorry."
"But I said I would! I can’t back down now. These colors don't run!"
"Maybe you could improvise? There's an old whiteboard in the supply closet."
"Great! Do that. Knew I hired you for a reason. Frankly, Bobby, this is kind of a relief. I wasn’t looking forward to putting Jon On Notice."
"Never would have guessed, Stephen."
Title: Temptation
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Rating: PG
Jon couldn’t help it.
It was wrong. It was why Stephen regularly decried him as a sexual predator. But the other man was asleep, defenseless – he wouldn’t even have to know.
As quietly as he could, Jon knelt by the couch.
Two fingertips: that was enough. He rested them delicately on that exposed bit of flesh, tracing its soft curves . . .
Stephen woke with a yelp, flailing blindly. Jon shot away from him like a startled cat.
“God, Jon!” he panted, when at last he spotted his accoster. “Why do you have this sick fascination with my ear?”
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Heh, I feel sorry for the book. And Stephen's shoes, come to think of it.
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Heh, well, you can hardly blame us. It's just so...ear-y.
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