Fake News: Third Time's The Charm

[ptahrrific]

Title: Third Time's The Charm
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", shoutout to Jason
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: See the index.

For zelkovaserrata, who prompted "second time." (In which Stephen's seduction!fail continues unabated.)



Third Time's The Charm


"So we're definitely not going to run out of lube this time?"

Jon reached into the nightstand and pulled out two bottles of Astroglide. "Both new and unopened. There's no way we're going through it all in one night."

"And I'm not going to get jabbed in the back by another fork that got lost in the couch cushions? Because that hurt, Jon."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem on a bed. Plus, I just changed the sheets, so I promise you there's nothing weird lurking under the covers. So, uh, can we start now?"

Stephen held him off. "Not until you absolutely promise that Jason Jones isn't going to walk in on us during the naked after-cuddling this time."

Jon let out an awkward laugh. "Stephen, we're at my apartment. What, you think somebody's going to cross the city, break into the building, creep up the stairs, and look in on us?"

"Promise!" repeated Stephen, his expression stony.

"All right, all right. I promise. I absolutely promise," he added for good measure.

"Good," declared Stephen, and, without warning, tackled him.

There was a resounding crack as the back of Jon's head slammed into the headboard.

For a moment there was nothing but stars and throbbing pain, only exacerbated by the fact that Stephen kept shouting. "Jon. Jon! Speak to me, Jon!"


*

"Don't die," whispered Stephen as he held the bag of frozen peas to Jon's pounding head. "If you die, I'll kill you." He was aiming for angry, but his voice seemed to be hitting a few degrees south of anxious instead.

Eyes still closed, Jon found his hand and squeezed it. "Think I'm gonna be okay," he murmured. "But I guess we won't get this perfect until the third time."

Comments

[holly-cullen.livejournal.com]

*facepalm* STEPHEN! DON'T BREAK THE JON! We kinda need him to go after people like Cramer, providing us with seventeen minutes of serious!Jon and sweaty!wtf!Guest (once our friends send us the link, anyway).

Aww man, I thought you said there'd be ficcage where Stephen SUCCEEDED in seducing Jon! I guess he wasn't really seducing him this time, but still... ow. I feel for Jon's head.

[ptahrrific]

There will be! Just...not quite yet.

(Actually, now that I look, I think there are more successful!seductions than failed!seductions in the rest of the batch. Stick around :D)

[daydreamer64.livejournal.com]

XDDD The headboard- I always wondered whether tackling someone into the bed would result in such an injury. Apparently my musings were answered. Poor Stephen.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Oh Stephen.

Oh Stephen.

There is something so endearing about his constant seduction!fail. It takes a lot of talent to fail at seduction when you're as mind-blowingly sexy adorable as Stephen.

[lavinialavender.livejournal.com]

Love it. :D

[gaiafaye.livejournal.com]

What, you think somebody's going to cross the city, break into the building, creep up the stairs, and look in on us?

Hee, I was totally expecting this to happen since it was all spelled out, so the headboard took me by surprise.