Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2009-05-12 07:56 am
ptahrrific) wrote2009-05-12 07:56 am
Entry tags:
Fake News: The Tour
Title: The Tour
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen", OCs
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: See the index.
For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
canadian_plant, who wanted: "A story about the space under Stephen's desk! He's had two Starbucks, a gitmo-esque prison, Jews apparently building a pyramid, and 'his Asians'. There's definitey something fishy going on."
The Tour
"Here you go, sir," said the barista as she set the finished strawberry smoothie down on the counter.
"Thanks," said Jon, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. "Uh, how much?"
Stephen slung an arm over his shoulders. "He's with me."
"In that case — free," the barista replied brightly. "Enjoy your tour!"
"This is really amazing, Stephen," remarked Jon around the smoothie straw as his friend led him away from the smoothie stand and down a corridor. "It's like you've got the whole Bottle City of Kandor down here."
"Nah, just the Desk Mall of Colbert," said Stephen. "Well, kind of a mall/convention center/hotel/extravaganza. Hi, Linda!" he added, waving to a woman pushing a trolley of flower arrangements. She waved back.
"What are those for?" wondered Jon as she disappeared through a doorway.
"Probably the chapel. We do a good wedding business. The pyramid's over that way, but it still isn't finished, so let's go this way."
He dragged Jon down a new hall, this one with softer lighting and plush carpets. "Classy," said Jon admiringly. "What's down here?"
"Honeymoon suite." Stephen opened a door, unmuffling a noise that Jon recognized as creaking bedsprings. "Everything all right in there?"
There was a screech and a scuffle, and a heart-shaped tin of chocolates went flying at Stephen's head. He ducked just in time. Jon had to lunge out of the way, nearly spilling his smoothie.
"They'll be fine," declared Stephen as he pulled the door closed.
"You really shouldn't have—" began Jon.
His reprimand was cut off by a wailing siren. A series of lights that Jon hadn't even noticed flashed in tiny violet dots on the walls; the next thing he knew, Stephen had grabbed his hand and was dragging him at a run, the smoothie dropped and splattered behind them.
"What's going on?" Jon shouted over the racket. "Stephen, talk to me! Is there a fire, or something?"
"No, no, this is routine!" yelled Stephen, hauling him through another door and into a small room that looked like some kind of futuristic cockpit, the walls and desktop lined with screens and flashy controls. There were a couple of bucket seats along the back wall, by the door; Stephen shoved Jon into one of these, then plopped down next to him and pulled a harness down over his chest. "It means Japan is in trouble!"
"What?"
"The desk turns into a giant robot, Jon! What do you think the Asians are here for?"
The sirens stopped blaring as a teenage Japanese girl, wearing a skintight white suit with blue trim, dropped from the ceiling and landed in the pilot's seat. Four small screens at the top of the display lit up, displaying four matching cockpits with people in color-coordinated suits settling into the corresponding chairs. As Jon watched in openmouthed disbelief, they began flipping switches and giving each other cues in rapid Japanese. The girl in blue ignored her extra guests entirely.
"Stop gaping and buckle up, already!" ordered Stephen. "You don't want to be loose when we start moving. Tried that once, broke my wrist."
Realizing that his questions could probably wait until after the epic battle with whatever it was you needed a giant robot to defeat, Jon shut his mouth and started fumbling with the harness.
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen", OCs
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: See the index.
For
canadian_plant, who wanted: "A story about the space under Stephen's desk! He's had two Starbucks, a gitmo-esque prison, Jews apparently building a pyramid, and 'his Asians'. There's definitey something fishy going on."The Tour
"Here you go, sir," said the barista as she set the finished strawberry smoothie down on the counter.
"Thanks," said Jon, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. "Uh, how much?"
Stephen slung an arm over his shoulders. "He's with me."
"In that case — free," the barista replied brightly. "Enjoy your tour!"
"This is really amazing, Stephen," remarked Jon around the smoothie straw as his friend led him away from the smoothie stand and down a corridor. "It's like you've got the whole Bottle City of Kandor down here."
"Nah, just the Desk Mall of Colbert," said Stephen. "Well, kind of a mall/convention center/hotel/extravaganza. Hi, Linda!" he added, waving to a woman pushing a trolley of flower arrangements. She waved back.
"What are those for?" wondered Jon as she disappeared through a doorway.
"Probably the chapel. We do a good wedding business. The pyramid's over that way, but it still isn't finished, so let's go this way."
He dragged Jon down a new hall, this one with softer lighting and plush carpets. "Classy," said Jon admiringly. "What's down here?"
"Honeymoon suite." Stephen opened a door, unmuffling a noise that Jon recognized as creaking bedsprings. "Everything all right in there?"
There was a screech and a scuffle, and a heart-shaped tin of chocolates went flying at Stephen's head. He ducked just in time. Jon had to lunge out of the way, nearly spilling his smoothie.
"They'll be fine," declared Stephen as he pulled the door closed.
"You really shouldn't have—" began Jon.
His reprimand was cut off by a wailing siren. A series of lights that Jon hadn't even noticed flashed in tiny violet dots on the walls; the next thing he knew, Stephen had grabbed his hand and was dragging him at a run, the smoothie dropped and splattered behind them.
"What's going on?" Jon shouted over the racket. "Stephen, talk to me! Is there a fire, or something?"
"No, no, this is routine!" yelled Stephen, hauling him through another door and into a small room that looked like some kind of futuristic cockpit, the walls and desktop lined with screens and flashy controls. There were a couple of bucket seats along the back wall, by the door; Stephen shoved Jon into one of these, then plopped down next to him and pulled a harness down over his chest. "It means Japan is in trouble!"
"What?"
"The desk turns into a giant robot, Jon! What do you think the Asians are here for?"
The sirens stopped blaring as a teenage Japanese girl, wearing a skintight white suit with blue trim, dropped from the ceiling and landed in the pilot's seat. Four small screens at the top of the display lit up, displaying four matching cockpits with people in color-coordinated suits settling into the corresponding chairs. As Jon watched in openmouthed disbelief, they began flipping switches and giving each other cues in rapid Japanese. The girl in blue ignored her extra guests entirely.
"Stop gaping and buckle up, already!" ordered Stephen. "You don't want to be loose when we start moving. Tried that once, broke my wrist."
Realizing that his questions could probably wait until after the epic battle with whatever it was you needed a giant robot to defeat, Jon shut his mouth and started fumbling with the harness.
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I KNEW it! Sir Doctor Stephen T. Colbert or whatever it is couldn't possibly break his wrist in such a simple situation as just falling in the studio. Ha. My friend owes me five bucks.
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I second the icon love
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The end of this is... just insane and perfect.
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:D
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