Fake News: Also Good For Play

[ptahrrific]

Title: Also Good For Play
Series: TDS/TCR
Rating: PG
Contents: Roleplaying, bondage, reluctance, drag, adorable chibi-ness.
Disclaimer: Two.

For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.

And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.

In picking his own spider, Stephen asked, "Webs: are they just for catching prey, or also good for play?"

Jon is less than enthusiastic.


Also Good For Play


". . . I don't think I can do this."

"Shh! You're breaking character!"

"Yeah, I know, and I'm sorry . . . but I feel silly!"

"Well, stop! You're not silly! You're menacing! And I am helpless in your evil clutches, remember? Now, try it again."

"It's not going to help. I can't do supervillain speeches. I'll crack myself up if I try."

"So don't talk. You can always ravish me silently."

"It's not just about the talking! Listen, I've tried playing bad guys before, and with really talented directors, too—not that you're not talented, of course, I didn't mean—the point is, I'm completely unconvincing. On all levels."

"You aren't even trying!"

"Stephen, I—"

"Look, let me put this very simply: Do you, or do you not, want to get laid tonight?"

"I do."

"Then at least put in the effort to stop calling me 'Stephen'. Can you do that?"

". . . Sure."

"And what are you going to call me instead?"



"Satisfied?"

"Yes. Now pierce my thorax and inject me with your enzymes, already."

Comments

[rehime.livejournal.com]

Stephen has never looked more beautiful. I don't know if it's the bondage or the bow in his hair. Tough call.

And your chibi!Jon has always been cute, but here he reaches a new height of cute. Height being metaphorical, of course.

And the writing helps disguise this wonderful ending, and as usual, is wonderful.

[ptahrrific]

Height being metaphorical, of course.

XD Brilliant.

Thank you!

[pr-scatterbrain.livejournal.com]

Oooh, this was too cute for words. I adored everything, the build up, the pic (the bow, the wonderful, wonderful bow), and the killer last line. Fab work as usual.

[ptahrrific]

The bow was totally the whole reason I did this. Glad you like!

[violent-rabbit.livejournal.com]

XD Oh my that is hilarious and cute and sweet all at the same time. :D
Good thing Stephen is good at ignoring other people, because a kink is not much fun if the partner is not all that into it. Or so I've heard. AHem.

[ptahrrific]

Or so I've heard.

Hee!

Yes, Stephen's prodigious powers of denial come in handy here. Glad you like!

[punkishgrin.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha! I'm so glad I waited to scroll down!
Jon's widdle wegs! You can hear him sighing in the picture; he puts up with so much^^
I love Stephen's haughty expression as he waits to be ravished by his own spider. Wonder what Jon said when Stephen showed him what he had to wear.
"I think Nate has a costume a lot like this."
"Yeah, but does it have a Velcro opening at the crotch?"
*blushes* "Erm, no..." X)
Well done!

[ptahrrific]

Hee. Stephen can be an incredibly bossy sub; good thing Jon is patient. And I bet that's exactly how the costume thing went down XD

[stellar-dust.livejournal.com]

LOL! Magnificent.

[rissaofthesaiya.livejournal.com]

You are insane XDDD chibi!Jon is just so ridiculously adorable.

There should be Jon plushies.

[ptahrrific]

There should! I'd buy one. (Hint, hint, Comedy Central.)

[sarcasticsra]

LOL. I had to stifle my laughter so my roommate wouldn't come over to investigate (as she's graciously allowing me to use her computer). She already knows I'm weird, but I think this would hurt her brain a little.

Oh, Stephen. The things you get Jon to do for you. You're lucky he loves you. =P

(I've decided that Stephen needs to wear bows in his hair much, much more often. Srsly.)

This was great. =D

[ptahrrific]

Yes, the things our Jon puts up with. ♥

*scribbles on to-do list* More Stephen-with-hairbows. Got it!

[canadian-plant.livejournal.com]

Oh dear XD Not only is this scenario quite funny, but the picture is hilarious.

[gaiafaye.livejournal.com]

LOL

Ohhhhhh, wow.

This made me want to headdesk, but in the good, laughter-induced way.

[ergoregion.livejournal.com]

LMFAO! I have, truly, no words to describe how hilarious this is.

[deepad]

::is ded on the floor from laughter::

Hiding the visual till the end just made the punch line that much more of a killer.

[holly-cullen.livejournal.com]

"Yes. Now pierce my thorax and inject me with your enzymes, already."

That's a sight I'd like to see. If TDS and TCR run out of segment ideas...

[singingrain5.livejournal.com]

The picture....THE PICTURE. XDDDDDDDDDDDD Oh god, I lost it.

Now pierce my thorax and inject me with your enzymes, already.

I LOVE YOU MISS MUFFET.

[ptahrrific]

The writing was really just an excuse for the picture :D

Thanks!

[gaudy-night.livejournal.com]

LOL! I actually recently saw the episode that had this line. I can't for the life of me pull up the exact one now but when I read this fic, I was grinning like a fool!

[ptahrrific]

Ahh, I didn't even realize this was so long ago - I've gone back and added a link to the proper clip =)

Thanks!