Madoka Magica | MadoHomu, MadoSaya, others | R | Persephone's Waltz (Table of Contents)

[ptahrrific]

Title: Persephone's Waltz
Series: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: MadoHomu, MadoSaya; Madoka, Homura, Sayaka, Hitomi, Kyuubei, Walpurgisnacht, (skip) Tomohisa, Junko, Kyousuke, Kyoko, Kriemhild Gretchen, Homulilly, Oktavia von Seckendorff, Albertine
Rating: Through R
Warnings: Kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, language, self-harm/suicide references, teenage sexuality, mortal peril, character death. Spoilers for the whole series.
Beta: politicette
Disclaimer: MadoMagi isn't mine. Sad but true.

The more times she fails to save Madoka, the more desperate Homura gets...until kidnapping her and locking her in a basement until Walpurgisnacht is over stops sounding like such a crazy idea.

Parts of this fill my hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "sacrifice," and my longfic_bingo card, prompt "grief." Has a mirror on the AO3.


Volume I
1) This is a joke, right?
2) I'm not taking anything from her.
3) If I write Mama a letter....
4) She's a puella magi, just as I am.
5) Can't you just tell me?
6) You said you'd be here. You promised!
7) You can't forget that that's wrong!
8) Kyuubei says she's 'anomalous'...whatever that means.
9) All that matters is to keep moving.
10) Akemi's weak point is you.
11) I bet you think that's really wonderful!
12) I think I met one in a dream, or something.

Volume II
13) Can you make it?
14) You must be new at this.
15) Don't you go worrying about storms!
16) I believe it's the right thing to do.
17) There's nobody else.
18) The time I try to keep her closest...
19) Just another form of insanity
20) I'm right here. [the tiro finale]

Commentary & Deleted Scenes

Comments

[shanejayell]

Just finished watching Madoka, so I can now safely read fic on it.

Looking forward to this. :D

[ptahrrific]

Excellent!

I look forward to finishing it ^_^;

[shanejayell]

And started. *lol* Wow this is gonna be dark....

[(Anonymous)]

Hitomi/Homura or Hitomi/Madoka. What do you think of those pairings?

[ptahrrific]

Neither has ever occurred to me before! If anybody's written those couples, it would be interesting to read and see how they did it.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, someone wrote Hitomi/Homura. It's called the PSP Bonus route. Sayaka snags Kyousuke, Homura comforts Hitomi, and Hitomi spends a lot of the rest of the route following Homura around. Whenever there's a meeting between the magical girls, they're like "What is she doing here..." and Hitomi is more or less like "I'm here because my girlfriend is here~" and then Homura has to tell her to go away.

This is the same route that has Homura convince Mami to become an idol, Kyouko mellow out because she has acquired a pile of grief seeds literally the size of a couch, and Homura referring to Madoka as softer than the softest pillow in the soft pillow store. So, uh, draw your own conclusions of how serious the Hitomi/Homura is.
-Fish

[(Anonymous)]

What's with the honorifics in this fic? Hitomi uses "-san" but not "-chan" and Sayaka pretty much only uses honorifics towards Mami.

-Fish

[ptahrrific]

The honorifics used when people are addressing each other are based on this chart. [ETA: with some adjustments based on how this particular timeline has gone, of course.] When someone refers to a person that they're not addressing, there generally isn't an honorific. If there's a specific instance you're confused by, do let me know!

[(Anonymous)]

Well, basically just the two I've mentioned. In chapter 1, just after meeting Homura, Hitomi addresses Madoka and Sayaka with the -chan appellation, and Sayaka addresses Hitomi with the -chan appellation. And I can't find any examples of Sayaka referring to Madoka in chapter 1, but it seems like if in chapter 7 her using -chan in reference to Madoka was different from before, Madoka would have commented on it? Both of those examples contradict the chart.

I'm really enjoying the story so far, by the way. The pacing and prose are great. I like your characterization of Sayaka the best and I'm really curious to see what happens with her and Madoka now that someone has called her on her delusions and irrational thinking.
-Fish

[ptahrrific]

Just finished going back through, and all of these should be fixed now. Thanks again for pointing it out, and for the compliments on the chapter =)

The ending and the middle

[(Anonymous)]

I liked it overall but i thought the addition of sayaka was kind of unneeded, I'm a homu/mado fan but the main reason i didn't like her addition was because the introduction of the characters happened so late that it felt completely weird and out of focus. the second to last chapter is the worst offender, being almost unreadable with all its jumping around and how little attention it pays to each actor. how little it affects madoka that sayaka died. it just felt very forced.

Re: The ending and the middle

[ptahrrific]

Unneeded? It's not like she was a tacked-on afterthought, here -- three-quarters of the story was about exploring the effects of adding Sayaka. And as far as I'm concerned, it should feel weird and disconcerting when she shows up. Madoka gets slowly but surely warped by the complete-isolation-except-for-Homura situation, and if the narration does its job then the reader should be affected her disorientation at the sudden change.

The second-to-last chapter is the second longest as-is (with the last chapter being the longest). And again, the whole point of the epic final battle is to be chaotic and rapid-fire and fast-paced, and well past the time of exposition. No matter what kind of attention you wanted the characters to get at this point, I can't imagine where the narrative would have stopped to shoehorn it in.

Of course Madoka is affected by Sayaka's death. She's also in shock, doesn't get any time to let the reality of it sink in, and has had her emotional presentation in general messed up by the captivity. I think the reaction you're expecting is the one that would have hit her not long afterward -- except, of course, that she didn't last long enough to get an "afterward."

I'm glad you liked...well, mostly just the first five chapters, I guess. Sorry you didn't care for any of the rest of the plot.