Never Written

[ptahrrific]

I love a good fake-fic meme.

Give me the title of a story I’ve never written, and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you any of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got submitted to magazines, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I’d been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.

Comments

[fenellaevangela]

Hmm, let's see! Title and feedback, eh? I'll give it a go:

Dynamics

For some reason I expected this story to be dirty, so I really didn't expect it to turn out like this! Not that I would have MINDED smut, of course, but this was just so clever! I particularly liked the play on words. Very well done!

(Is that the sort of thing you're looking for?)

[ptahrrific]

(I have no idea what I'm looking for, so anything goes :D)

I kinda have the feeling this kind of fic had been done before - I mean, it's the granddaddy of media fandoms, everything has been done there - but, well, I had the idea, and I never wrote Star Trek fic before, so I decided to run with it.

And, yeah, I couldn't resist throwing in all kinds of math-and-science-y puns, even ones that didn't have much to do with the main plot. I'm just glad someone else was geeky enough to appreciate them :D

[fenellaevangela]

Oh, and how thrilled was I to see you'd written Star Trek? I love it when a favourite writer of mine picks up one of my favourite fandoms.

[stellar_dust]

Paradox Found

You had me going on this one - until the last chapter I was positive there would be time travel involved!

[ptahrrific]

Oh, geez, that story. I had charts for all the twists in that story. You could practically wallpaper a room with them. (And, looking back on it now, I'm pretty sure there's a gap in Martha's storyline - but none of the readers pointed it out, so I'm just going to pretend it isn't there. Shhh.)

Much as I love time travel, I sorta think there's not much point doing a "normal world" AU if you're going to just add that sort of thing back in anyway. Especially since I wanted the ending to be a surprise, and when you're talking Whoniverse, that's pretty much the least surprising plot element imaginable :P

[aybara_max]

Down The Rabbit Hole

A Colbert Report/House crossover is just what I was looking for, and I loved the conversations between Greg and Stephen re: painkiller withdrawal!

[ptahrrific]

That whole story was inspired by a conversation with sarcasticsra and one of her friends on how badly House (er, the show, not the character) handles the idea of addiction vs. dependence. Since I write so much continuity-fixing type fic for TCR, I figured I would try to do something reconciling the way painkillers are treated on House with, y'know, the real world.

...and then I realized I was in over my head, and decided to reconcile it with the TCRverse instead. Because there's a side effect in the Vaxafamily to explain anything.

I did actually do some research, though, after which any further ignorance I had about medical stuff was covered by writing in Stephen's POV, so that I can make vague allusions to things through the character's amusing misunderstandings and people will assume I actually know what I'm talking about =P

[aybara_max]

((I LOVE THIS MEME. The funniest thing is, I re-wrote my initial comment several times and somehow you managed to respond to all of the comments I never actually left :D))

Since I write so much continuity-fixing type fic for TCR, I figured I would try to do something reconciling the way painkillers are treated on House with, y'know, the real world. And THIS is why I enjoy your writing so.

[ptahrrific]

((That's awesome. This whole meme is like all the fun of meta, without any of the work of actually writing a fic.))

:D

[bliumchik]

Man, I knew Everything In Its Right Place was going to be sad from the outset, but jesus you set off some waterworks - and then fixed it all in one perfect sentence right at the end.

[ptahrrific]

I was so terrified to post that story. I'm pro-choice, but every time I try to actually write about the topic it ends up sounding either monstrously amoral or like a pro-life manifesto.

Getting positive feedback on a fic like that is always a huge relief - until it happens, there's some part of me that's afraid everyone has decided I'm a terrible person and they're going to back away as quietly as possible ^_^;

[(Anonymous)]

i liked your story "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover in Ten Days Without Really Trying" from your "101 Tales of Tasteful Schoolboy Erotica" anthology because of the inventive use of POV and subtle use of foreshadowing. also, the swordfight and of course the searingly erotic fight/kiss/cry/shower scene blew me away.
Kagaya

[ptahrrific]

...okay, first of all, I had nothing to do with the anthology title. That was all the editor. I swear. (Talk about an awkward thing to brag about. "Guess what, Aunt Marge? I just got my first book published!" "Oh, that's so nice, dear! What's it called?" "Ummm...")

It's probably obvious to everyone who knows me in fandom that this particular story was a Jon/"Stephen" fic with the serial numbers filed off. And, er, swords added. Because everything is better with swords :D

(I spent a lot of time watching swordfight videos on YouTube, trying to get the choreography right. And then I barely used any of that in the actual story. Oh well - at least if someone ever options the film rights, I'll be able to give them piles of detail.)

[holly_cullen]

"And He Takes" was heartrending. Usually I enjoy "Stephen"'s conflicts with religion, but this was almost too much for me to stomach. I've never read a story entirely composed of bedtime prayers; the one about Allison was adorable.

[ptahrrific]

Now there's a premise I never thought was going to work. I've never found a bedtime prayer in fiction (books, movies, comics, whatever) that didn't come across as trite. (I'm so glad they cut the praying scene from Evan Almighty, for instance - it's on the DVD extras, and as far as I'm concerned, it's unbearably cutsey.)

But then I realized - that's not quite true, because the praying scene in A Colbert Christmas (not exactly a bedtime prayer, but close) actually worked. With "Stephen" you can ease into that really serious sentiment in a satirical way, so you don't, as Jon would say, "pull a sincerity muscle" in the process.

...and then we found out Allison was leaving, and I pretty much had to write it :)

[pseudo_tsuga]

"MLK Never Had This Problem" made me both laugh and wince at l!Stephen but the scene where Jon gets mad at him was unexpectedly touching. I admire the fact you can blend all the tones of the piece so well.

[ptahrrific]

This is one of the few l!Stephen fics that is actually a direct jab at r!Stephen. Or at least, his writers.

Remember the Wørd where "Stephen" mocks a white critic of the President for highlighting the race of a black critic? The line was something like "Way to prove you're not a racist: by highlighting another person's race." When, earlier in the very same segment, he had delivered one of his "I don't see race; therefore, I'm not a racist!" zingers, which satirize the idea of colorblindness. And, well, I was a little frustrated with the implication that ignoring race and talking about race both demonstrate a person's racism.

Buuuuuut whenever I try to elaborate on ideas like that directly, I manage to put my foot in it. So I deconstructed the notion in my own head, then falsely reconstructed it with l!Stephen, and let readers work out my behind-the-scenes opinion on their own. (As with r!Stephen, it's easy for people to assume I agree with them.)

And now that I've revealed the secret behind the trick, I've probably sabotaged my future use of it :P Ah well.

(I do try to make l!Stephen a bit less clueless than c!Stephen on racial issues, because he's willing to listen and learn. But he does have a tendency to agree with whatever strong opinion he's heard most recently, even if it contradicts the one he supported the day before.)

[pseudo_tsuga]

I know I threw you a curveball but that was fantastic. Now I actually want to read it!

[ptahrrific]

Just my luck TCR was nice enough to hand me an idea XD

I kind of want to read it too - but I don't know if I could actually pull off the writing of it. That's the great thing about this meme: all the fun of meta, none of the work of fic. (And, in this case, none of the cringeworthiness of l!Stephen's flailing all over the place on race issues in glorious detail.)

So, here, have some more rambling:

Jon's scene came from something that's been on the back of my mind for a long time, ever since the interview that led to this blog post (the one where Judd Apatow pokes fun at his name change, and he instantly gets prickly). Basically, it seems that the normally Zen Jon has a serious twitch point about the idea that he has to fall in lockstep with, or be validated by, all other Jewish people.

So -- after shooting down the old chestnut that Being White And Jewish Is Exactly Like Being [Insert Racial Minority Here] at the outset, because that shows up on anti-racism bingo cards for a reason -- Jon gets to let out his frustrations about how no one member of any group is a representative of the whole group, and every time Stephen picks up a new argument and represents it as The [Minority] View, he's doing a disservice to everyone who has ever disagreed with it. Not even a figure as widely-respected as MLK spoke for All Black People (though he did speak as a black person -- which is something that Stephen will never do, no matter how well he can wrangle soul food and fist bumps).

The kicker, of course, is that towards the end Stephen can't just realize the error of his ways and agree with everything Jon has just said, because you wouldn't know if it's because he's come around or if he's just repeating the pattern of trying-to-agree-with-everyone which led to the problem in the first place.

So instead he gets introduced to the idea that you can hear an opinion and disagree with it -- and then go on your way, without trying to debate/question/discuss your way to agreement. And then he does.

(There's a lovely Lenny Bruce quotation: "Liberals can understand everything but people who can’t understand them." Which is basically the theory underlining factiness. L!Stephen has a hard time grasping that there are some times when no amount of facts or logic will bring everyone to the same opinion.)

I'm not sure if it's the most satisfying ending, but l!Stephen fics have a tendency to wind up like that. Usually the emotional climax of a story comes when the characters have broken down their walls and opened up to each other, whereas l!Stephen really needs to build some walls and close off a little.

[pseudo_tsuga]

Oh my god, how are you so awesome? Yes, factiness, the idea that if you just explain clearly enough of course they would agree with you! After all, they only think that way because they're misinformed. In one way, at least you're not assuming they're evil, but you're also being arrogant enough to be so cocksure that your view is of course the right one. l!Stephen is like everyone I knew growing up so I love the way you point out his cognitive errors. (Plus it provides me with great quotes).

Hmm, I could actually see that as joyful but not as straightforwardly as r!Stephen which I suppose is what you said. I'm still re-discovering the joy in simply disagreeing and not having it be a huge deal or just saying "no" so I could see l!Stephen happy that he can do so now.

[ptahrrific]

Bahhhh. These are people I know - this is me plenty of the time - so it's not terribly challenging to satirize :3

The ironic thing is, there are a couple of different people I had in mind when typing all that up, and at least two of them would absolutely loathe each other. Same fact-oriented mindset, completely different political/social views. They would have a long detailed argument full of logic and citations, and eventually decide that the other one would just clearly Never Understand and they were wasting their time trying to explain things to someone so unwilling to see reason.

And if l!Stephen were talking to either of them, he would bend over backwards trying to agree. Until you put all three of them in the same room. At which point the ability to take a deep breath and quietly step back without trying to get everyone on the same page (that need is one of the Geek Social Fallacies, isn't it?) is pretty much a necessity.