Fake News: Karaøke Night
May. 28th, 2009 05:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ptahrrificTitle: Karaøke Night
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Sam/Jason/Rob Riggle, John-O/Larry, Kristen/Demetri, Aasif, Wyatt, the Wørd
Rating: PG-13 (language, lead-ups to sex)
Disclaimer: See the index.
For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stellar_dust, who prompted: "The Wørd moonlights at a karaoke bar (as, of course, the bouncy ball that follows along with the words). Stephen has no idea. And then the whole TDS gang shows up for Rob Riggle's farewell bash..."
Which led to a ficmix, using songs from the TDS gang's playlists.
Elvis Presley, "Burning Love"
Your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love (a hunk, a hunk of burning love)
They commandeer a karaoke bar for Rob's farewell bash. The room is packed with people from the show, plus a few of the folks from the Report who accepted the invitation.
No sooner have the tech guys stepped back than there's a rush on the mic.
Aasif gets there first, and promptly sets the tone for the rest of the night.
Sir Mix-A-Lot, "Baby Got Back"
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get wit'cha
By the second verse, the whole crowd is clapping along.
There isn't a single person in this crowd that John hasn't already embarrassed himself in front of, so it's not like the stakes are high. Still, it took him a couple of drinks to get up the nerve.
As Wyatt and Demetri (the cool kids, even!) storm the stage to join in, he wonders what he was worried about.
Jason looks like he wants to go with them, but Sam holds him back by unsubtly stomping on his foot. The mournful look on the poor man's face is so hilarious that John nearly loses his place.
As if predicting his distress, the bouncing ball that follows the words on the screen gets larger and more emphatic, forcing him to pay attention.
The Cars, "Let's Go"
She's laughing inside 'cause they can't refuse
She's so beautiful now, she doesn't wear her shoes
She never likes to choose
After dropping by the bar for his third round, Jon totters back to the booth and flops into his seat, then jumps up again with a yelp as something jabs him in the rear.
Half the drink sloshes across the table, so Jon writes it off as a lost cause and goes after the cause of the spill instead. Sticking a hand under himself, he gropes for the offending object, which turns out to be an atrociously high heel.
Great. Sam's already barefoot, and Stephen still hasn't shown. If he doesn't get here soon, all the pairing-off (and tripling-off) and subsequent sneaking-out-in-taxis will have happened before he turns up, and yet another Rob will get away without a proper goodbye.
Flight of the Conchords, "Business Time"
Then you sort out the recycling. That isn't part of the foreplay process but it is still very important. Next thing you know we're in the bedroom. You're wearing that baggy old ugly t-shirt you got from your work several years ago. Mmm, you know the one, baby...with the curry stain. Oww!
Wyatt is getting a little frustrated.
Sam and Jason have focused their attention on Rob for the night, which, okay, it's Rob's goodbye night, that's cool, he gets it. But Larry and John are going at a round of Wilmore-Oliver Investigates featuring each other's tonsils, and Demetri and Kristen are making gooey eyes at each other over whatever it is they're trying to build out of those napkins and toothpicks and way too many little umbrellas, and everyone else seems to have settled into pairs or groups except Stewart, who's off on his own mooning about Colbert and thinking nobody can tell.
So Wyatt starts into the most seductive song he knows.
He plans to improvise, playing fast and loose with the timing, giving the lyrics his own sexy, sexy rhythm. The little ball on the screen hits every word exactly as he says it. It's like the thing is trying to mock his mad improv skills.
By the end of the song, everyone is still all hot and bothered, and it's still for each other. Wyatt realizes he can't be too mad at the bouncy ball. Maybe it just wanted someone to sing along with.
Dave Matthews Band, "Stay Or Leave"
Stay or leave
I want you not to go, but you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go, but you did
Jason starts the song with a melodramatic warble that doesn't so much hit the high notes as pick them up and swing them enthusiastically around.
But when he gets to the chorus, something changes. He always knew these lyrics were supposed to be meaningful and all, but now they start to really mean something, you know?
He's totally sobbing by the end of the thing, but so is half the bar. Including Rob himself, and that dude is a Marine, so you know he's no pussy.
Oh, man, Jason's gotta come up with something to say now. You can't just get a crowd this mushy and then not do anything with it. But he is way too sad, not to mention way too plastered, to come up with anything good and profound. And the song's about to end...
Words appear on the screen: I Love You, Man.
Jason doesn't remember those ever being in the song before, but they're exactly what he needed.
Journey, "Any Way You Want It"
She loves to laugh
She loves to sing
She does everything
She loves to move
She loves to groove
She loves the lovin' things
Rob drags everyone up on stage to join him on this one, except Jon, who declines on what he feels are the very reasonable grounds that he cannot sing. Also, he's starting to see double.
On what must be the fortieth repetition of "Any way you want it, that's the way you need it!", two men slide into the booth next to Jon.
"Looks like I got here just in time," say both Stephens Colbert. "They're playing my song!"
The Who, "Baba O'Riley"
The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get together before we get much older
After the traditional round of goodbye backslaps (and, from Stephen, a good-natured threat not to become a bigger star than him, or else, ha ha, no but seriously), Sam and Jason spirit Rob away for a more, ah, intimate farewell.
Kristen and Demetri end up in a cab together. Larry and John only make it as far as the men's room. Everyone else trickles out slowly but surely, except for Wyatt, who hauls a stool onstage and gets into a surprisingly animated conversation with the lyric screen.
That last one has Stephen suspicious, but this is no time to follow it up. After all, Jon is drunk, and getting handsy, and has started dropping hints about a threesome.
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Sam/Jason/Rob Riggle, John-O/Larry, Kristen/Demetri, Aasif, Wyatt, the Wørd
Rating: PG-13 (language, lead-ups to sex)
Disclaimer: See the index.
For
stellar_dust, who prompted: "The Wørd moonlights at a karaoke bar (as, of course, the bouncy ball that follows along with the words). Stephen has no idea. And then the whole TDS gang shows up for Rob Riggle's farewell bash..."Which led to a ficmix, using songs from the TDS gang's playlists.
Elvis Presley, "Burning Love"
Your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love (a hunk, a hunk of burning love)
They commandeer a karaoke bar for Rob's farewell bash. The room is packed with people from the show, plus a few of the folks from the Report who accepted the invitation.
No sooner have the tech guys stepped back than there's a rush on the mic.
Aasif gets there first, and promptly sets the tone for the rest of the night.
Sir Mix-A-Lot, "Baby Got Back"
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get wit'cha
By the second verse, the whole crowd is clapping along.
There isn't a single person in this crowd that John hasn't already embarrassed himself in front of, so it's not like the stakes are high. Still, it took him a couple of drinks to get up the nerve.
As Wyatt and Demetri (the cool kids, even!) storm the stage to join in, he wonders what he was worried about.
Jason looks like he wants to go with them, but Sam holds him back by unsubtly stomping on his foot. The mournful look on the poor man's face is so hilarious that John nearly loses his place.
As if predicting his distress, the bouncing ball that follows the words on the screen gets larger and more emphatic, forcing him to pay attention.
The Cars, "Let's Go"
She's laughing inside 'cause they can't refuse
She's so beautiful now, she doesn't wear her shoes
She never likes to choose
After dropping by the bar for his third round, Jon totters back to the booth and flops into his seat, then jumps up again with a yelp as something jabs him in the rear.
Half the drink sloshes across the table, so Jon writes it off as a lost cause and goes after the cause of the spill instead. Sticking a hand under himself, he gropes for the offending object, which turns out to be an atrociously high heel.
Great. Sam's already barefoot, and Stephen still hasn't shown. If he doesn't get here soon, all the pairing-off (and tripling-off) and subsequent sneaking-out-in-taxis will have happened before he turns up, and yet another Rob will get away without a proper goodbye.
Flight of the Conchords, "Business Time"
Then you sort out the recycling. That isn't part of the foreplay process but it is still very important. Next thing you know we're in the bedroom. You're wearing that baggy old ugly t-shirt you got from your work several years ago. Mmm, you know the one, baby...with the curry stain. Oww!
Wyatt is getting a little frustrated.
Sam and Jason have focused their attention on Rob for the night, which, okay, it's Rob's goodbye night, that's cool, he gets it. But Larry and John are going at a round of Wilmore-Oliver Investigates featuring each other's tonsils, and Demetri and Kristen are making gooey eyes at each other over whatever it is they're trying to build out of those napkins and toothpicks and way too many little umbrellas, and everyone else seems to have settled into pairs or groups except Stewart, who's off on his own mooning about Colbert and thinking nobody can tell.
So Wyatt starts into the most seductive song he knows.
He plans to improvise, playing fast and loose with the timing, giving the lyrics his own sexy, sexy rhythm. The little ball on the screen hits every word exactly as he says it. It's like the thing is trying to mock his mad improv skills.
By the end of the song, everyone is still all hot and bothered, and it's still for each other. Wyatt realizes he can't be too mad at the bouncy ball. Maybe it just wanted someone to sing along with.
Dave Matthews Band, "Stay Or Leave"
Stay or leave
I want you not to go, but you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go, but you did
Jason starts the song with a melodramatic warble that doesn't so much hit the high notes as pick them up and swing them enthusiastically around.
But when he gets to the chorus, something changes. He always knew these lyrics were supposed to be meaningful and all, but now they start to really mean something, you know?
He's totally sobbing by the end of the thing, but so is half the bar. Including Rob himself, and that dude is a Marine, so you know he's no pussy.
Oh, man, Jason's gotta come up with something to say now. You can't just get a crowd this mushy and then not do anything with it. But he is way too sad, not to mention way too plastered, to come up with anything good and profound. And the song's about to end...
Words appear on the screen: I Love You, Man.
Jason doesn't remember those ever being in the song before, but they're exactly what he needed.
Journey, "Any Way You Want It"
She loves to laugh
She loves to sing
She does everything
She loves to move
She loves to groove
She loves the lovin' things
Rob drags everyone up on stage to join him on this one, except Jon, who declines on what he feels are the very reasonable grounds that he cannot sing. Also, he's starting to see double.
On what must be the fortieth repetition of "Any way you want it, that's the way you need it!", two men slide into the booth next to Jon.
"Looks like I got here just in time," say both Stephens Colbert. "They're playing my song!"
The Who, "Baba O'Riley"
The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get together before we get much older
After the traditional round of goodbye backslaps (and, from Stephen, a good-natured threat not to become a bigger star than him, or else, ha ha, no but seriously), Sam and Jason spirit Rob away for a more, ah, intimate farewell.
Kristen and Demetri end up in a cab together. Larry and John only make it as far as the men's room. Everyone else trickles out slowly but surely, except for Wyatt, who hauls a stool onstage and gets into a surprisingly animated conversation with the lyric screen.
That last one has Stephen suspicious, but this is no time to follow it up. After all, Jon is drunk, and getting handsy, and has started dropping hints about a threesome.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 07:46 am (UTC)Be proud of that. Be very proud.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 10:55 am (UTC)I think that is the first time I have ever seen that. Wow. That is awesome.
Love for drunk!handsy!Jon.
*steals mix*
Oh, ack, I just noticed there's no .zip upload. I don't suppose I could trouble you for one? I find them easier to deal with than individual downloads, even when there are this few.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 11:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 11:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 12:09 pm (UTC)I'm on a connection that charges by the byte, so I don't want to upload the songs twice. (If anyone reading this is willing to download the songs, .zip them, and upload them, that would be awesome.)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 12:14 pm (UTC)Also, thank you! (And there are a couple of tags with Wyatt pairings. Very few, though.)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 12:26 pm (UTC)wyatt hadn't really stood out for me until i saw his two-part report from sweden. it was so funny, and he was charming with the swedish girls. i'll go look at those tags now. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-28 12:33 pm (UTC)Oh! Sorry, that's right. I forgot about that. Never mind! I'll suck it up and download them individually. No worries. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-30 01:36 am (UTC)That is all.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-30 06:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-31 02:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-31 03:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-05-31 06:59 pm (UTC)Thanks for the mix.