Fake News: Bad Egg
May. 4th, 2009 04:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ptahrrificTitle: Bad Egg
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen"
Rating: G
Disclaimer: See the index.
For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kick_back_80s, who wanted "Stephen just wants to go on an easter egg hunt. Seriously. That's all he wants."
Bad Egg
"I just want to go on an Easter egg hunt, Jon! That's all I want!"
"I believe you, Stephen. And I'm saying no."
"Is this because of my religion? You're oppressing me because I'm a white Christian male, aren't you?"
"No, I'm oppressing you because — uh, I mean, I'm saying no because your holiday events always turn into disasters."
"Name one."
"Christmas. You nearly got the special guest eaten by a bear."
"Okay, name two."
"St. Patrick's Day. Halfway through the proceedings, Dennis Kucinich showed up and informed me that you had snuck off with half of his campaign funds."
"I'm telling you, Jon, he's a leprechaun! Not a very good one, though. All that money, and I still had to dip into my own reserves to buy enough green food coloring for all the punch."
"Which you then spiked, and we all know what that led to. Listen, Stephen, the point is, no egg hunts. I mean it."
"But I already hid the eggs and everything!"
"...Wait. There are eggs hidden around the building?"
"Uh, no."
"Oh, phew."
"Mostly just your office."
"Oh, no. At least tell me you remembered to hard-boil them."
"Of course, Jon! I'm not stupid! I know the eggs are supposed to be hard-boiled! ...How do you do that, again?"
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen"
Rating: G
Disclaimer: See the index.
For
kick_back_80s, who wanted "Stephen just wants to go on an easter egg hunt. Seriously. That's all he wants."Bad Egg
"I just want to go on an Easter egg hunt, Jon! That's all I want!"
"I believe you, Stephen. And I'm saying no."
"Is this because of my religion? You're oppressing me because I'm a white Christian male, aren't you?"
"No, I'm oppressing you because — uh, I mean, I'm saying no because your holiday events always turn into disasters."
"Name one."
"Christmas. You nearly got the special guest eaten by a bear."
"Okay, name two."
"St. Patrick's Day. Halfway through the proceedings, Dennis Kucinich showed up and informed me that you had snuck off with half of his campaign funds."
"I'm telling you, Jon, he's a leprechaun! Not a very good one, though. All that money, and I still had to dip into my own reserves to buy enough green food coloring for all the punch."
"Which you then spiked, and we all know what that led to. Listen, Stephen, the point is, no egg hunts. I mean it."
"But I already hid the eggs and everything!"
"...Wait. There are eggs hidden around the building?"
"Uh, no."
"Oh, phew."
"Mostly just your office."
"Oh, no. At least tell me you remembered to hard-boil them."
"Of course, Jon! I'm not stupid! I know the eggs are supposed to be hard-boiled! ...How do you do that, again?"