Fake News: Anger

[ptahrrific]

Title: Anger
Series: TDS/TCR
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Two.

For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.

And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.

Summary: Another depressing ficlet. Jon's lucky he has a helpful friend like Stephen.


Anger


Jon doesn't understand how to deal with anger.

Stephen gets it. Stephen measures anger out in coffee spoons, serving it up in mostly-controlled doses, a volcano on a slow burn. Jon hides it: holds it in and tucks it away, sometimes so well that Stephen almost forgets it's even there.

But then something will happen that makes him truly furious (Stephen thought this would end once the peace-loving hippiecrats got a President who is as much of a pinko commie as Jon is, the one bright spot in this dismal failure of the electoral process, but even that hasn't worked, not yet), and Stephen can see the anger crackling beneath his skin, can see the fear behind his eyes as he begins to recognize that this thing will eat him alive if he doesn't stop it, and he has no idea how.

Lucky for Jon, he has Stephen.

Stephen knows exactly where to needle Jon. He knows which spots are most tender, thanks both to a broad study of the liberal mind and a more intimate association with this one in particular. He knows where the cracks are, and with a few well-aimed phrases (if they didn't want their homes washed away, they shouldn't have lived in New Orleans; you know this city isn't part of the real America; anyone stupid enough to make those investments deserved what they got) he can break them wide open.

If he's fast enough, Jon won't realize what's going on until after he's struck Stephen across the face.

Once the abscess is lanced, that's all it takes to drain the anger away. Of course it's replaced by guilt, because Jon is nothing if not profoundly nice, but this is easily salved. Hurt? Me? Barely even felt it. You'll need to lift a lot more weights before your puny old-man-slap leaves a mark, Stewart.

(Jon always pleads for forgiveness, as though he's done something unspeakably cruel. It's almost laughable. Does he really think Stephen hasn't been through worse?)

Comments

[deepad]

OMG. This actually makes Stephen pretty smart and perceptive, and yet in character.

::makes a face:: I command you to write something cheerful, Erin. I want Jon Stewart to be happy!

[seagullsong.livejournal.com]

Seconded.

Not that this isn't neat. I like the idea that Stephen knows exactly what he's doing when he messes with Jon. : )

[ptahrrific]

Heh. I'll work on it.

And thanks :D

[ptahrrific]

I'm starting to feel like I should slap a giant "unreliable narrator" label on this one.

(Followed by a dissertation on how children who are socialized to believe that abuse is inevitable may start to provoke it, so that they at least have control over the timing. Notice how Stephen takes for granted that Jon is always angry, even when he doesn't seem to be; and that having him hit someone to calm down is a totally acceptable solution...)

Hey, I just gave you Jon and Stephen spending their old age in comfortable togetherness! And, er, that may have to last you for a while. *eyes folder full of half-finished piles of angst*

[seagullsong.livejournal.com]

It has to say something about the human mind that so many fans choose to express their adoration for characters by torturing them in stories.

I don't know what, though. : )

[deepad]

No no, I got that he was unreliable in that he wasn't always reading Jon correctly. But he was being caring. Although I have to say I find it hard to buy Jon ever hitting anyone. If he reached breaking point, I'd much easier believe he would call it quits with any kind of relationship with Stephen, rather than choose physical violence.

::pokes you:: Write my "Jon"/"Stephen"! And I'd like a pony while you're at it.

[ptahrrific]

Caring he definitely is. And I do think Jon would get himself out of the situation before he reached breaking point - if he had the time, and if he saw it coming.

...argh, I neglected to take notes about that. Do you remember where our original conversation about it was?

[wishflower4.livejournal.com]

My eyes literally BUGGED when I read...that line. You know the one. Don't make me read it again because my gut didn't like it. And I'm not going to think with anything other than my gut for DAYS because I know that'd make Stephen happy and he deserves it for being amazing. D=

He's so brilliant and self-sacrificing...and oh, god, I am very angry with this version of Jon.

[ptahrrific]

Oh, man, don't be mad at Jon. There's a longer comment upthread, but in short, Stephen is projecting right and left, and Jon doesn't actually know that any of this is going on.

(You can still admire Stephen, though - he's incredibly savvy, even if he does have significant blind spots.)

[stellar-dust.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jon. ♥. Can't he see Stephen's helping him?

(something happy next! yes!)

[stellar-dust.livejournal.com]

P.S: Stephen measures anger out in coffee spoons..: ♥!

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

augh, Stephen.

[ptahrrific]

Still my favorite poem ever. (No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be....)

Also, see comments upthread on unreliable narration.

Also also, um, happy fic? *eyes queue* We're a bit short on that at the moment, but I can give you a great deal on "bittersweet", and I'll even throw in some crazy!Stephen at no extra charge...

[stellar-dust.livejournal.com]

I love that poem. And T.S. Eliot in general. Do I dare to eat a peach? I will wear white flannel trousers and walk along the beach ..

Re: unreliable narrator: yes.

*looks downthread* Maybe if you take the "oh, Stephen" shots, happy!fic will ensue? ;D

[sarcasticsra]

A sock to the gut, this ficlet. Ouch.

But oh so good. Oh, Stephen.

[ptahrrific]

I think my fic journal needs a drinking game. Every time a commenter says "Oh, Stephen," take a shot. If they italicize part of it, two shots.

And thanks ♥

[sarcasticsra]

Do you want us to die of alcohol poisoning? Because that is the only result of a game like that. =P

[ptahrrific]

You can always substitute soda instead! Then people will just be hopping in the line for the bathroom, which is at least superior to dead :D

[wishflower4.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you can also damage your bladder doing that! Just admit you enjoy seeing us in pain!!

[lizzy-someone.livejournal.com]

OH, STEPHEN!!!

[ptahrrific]

*chugs!*

[daydreamer64.livejournal.com]

Ugh. My heart. That line.

I think Stephen and Jon need some happy times- ;o;♥

[ptahrrific]

Heh. One more vote for happyfic. Gotcha.

[lavinialavender.livejournal.com]

Wow. This is really interesting. I like it a lot, from "If he's fast enough, Jon won't realize what's going on until after he's struck Stephen across the face" to his next italic-response.

Jon is such a really good guy, if those kinds of things (common people, America) are what makes him snap.

[ptahrrific]

Jon is an amazingly good guy.

Thanks ♥

[holly-cullen.livejournal.com]

Ah, Jon. What I wouldn't give for you to strike "Stephen" across the face and feel no remorse as he finally learns to respect you...

Like that would ever happen.

Your ficlets are incredibly deep, and always seem to leave me breathless, whether from the writing or from the angst I don't know (both?).

[ptahrrific]

Ah, the eternal paradox. Stephen respects people who assert power over him, preferably with force - but the people who would run roughshod over him like that tend to be the ones who don't respect him, which throws a serious wrench into his ability to have a healthy relationship.

Thanks ♥

[culf.livejournal.com]

This was amazing.
I loved "Stephen's" though process, even if it breaks my heart that he thinks this is the way to go about things. At least he's doing it because he cares about Jon, but that's not the best way. It's hurting both him and Jon. And it breaks my heart that Stephen's been through worse, and as you said, that he probably provokes it to be able to control the timing.

gah!

[(Anonymous)]

Oh gods the end of this fic just slammed into me and reminded me uncomfortably of just how many years it took me to realise that what was happening wasn't a 'oh yes that's just the way X is' and was actually abuse. She never broke any bones after all... it was my fault for speaking when she was in the room, my fault for looking disrespectful....

I don't know which of them I feel sorrier for - Stephen for the sheer messed-up-ness of his psyche or Jon for the damage it's doing him when Stephen 'helps'.

Re: gah!

[ptahrrific]

Oh, wow. I'm sorry you went through that, and glad you made it out. And thanks for letting me know this resonated.

Do me a favor and sign any future anonymous comments? It doesn't have to be with a pseud you use anywhere else on the Internet, just as long as there's a name attached.

Re: gah!

[(Anonymous)]

Sure thing. And good work with that ending, it's very hard to write abusive pasts, especially that sort of non-acknowledgement, without it coming over as hammy.

I would kind of be interested to see hints of [authority/family figure] hit me, but done in the weird way that some survivors feel about it. 'Well, I know they said bad things about me, and I know when I was growing up it made me feel... well, pretty darn suicidal actually and I know they hit me/shoved me/pinched me/touched me in a way that didn't feel right and made me feel weird, but it wasn't abuse. Abuse is loads of bruises/broken bones/rape/being screamed at constantly happens to other people, poor people, people who deserve pity.' That sort of thing is low-level, insidious and cumulative and really hard to report or even be able to put a label to in the victim's own mind. On a psychological level it's pretty interesting. Experience-wise it's one to miss.

The person who made my youth so horrible drove two other family members to complete nervous breakdowns and manipulated family dynamics to the point where none of us considered acting against them. Eventually we started to withdraw, refusing to participate in the cycle any more as it got too much and we had no choice but to realise what was happening. I never reported it because I couldn't believe anyone would imagine an old person half my size and weight would pick on a young, strong family member who's known for being a martial artist, but I didn't stand a chance against that toxic natured person, and I still can't stop feeling ashamed of that and turning on a family member.

Ferrous.

Re: gah!

[ptahrrific]

Thanks. (It's taken some practice to be able to handle this topic with subtlety.)

There's a touch of similar rationalization in I Am America (And So Can You!) Not exactly the same effect, but one of its relatives. A quote: "Sure, [my parents] could be a little 'strict', but I often think back fondly on the memories I haven't repressed. The truth is, I wouldn't be the man I am today if it wasn't for the way my parents raised me. And I love the man I am today--which means I love the way my parents raised me. And even if they made mistakes, I don't blame them for it, because they tried their hardest. You can't spell 'parentry' without 'try'." (Footnote: "Also, you can't spell 'emotional abuse' without 'bus'. I don't use public transportation.")

It sucks that this kind of thing happens, and that it isn't well-understood enough for the general public (including, often, the victims themselves) to take it seriously. Even if you never took legal action, I hope you've had someone to talk to about your situation - it sure sounds worth the effort.

[jackandahat]

Ouch, the last line is a kicker. (I know nothing about the actual characters - I found your FTM fic on a rec list of transfic, so I'm reading through other stuff. It's really good, even without knowing who people are.)

[ptahrrific]

Heh, this isn't so much a ficlet as a free-floating punch to the gut.

(Ahh. You've caught that Stephen's not canonically trans, though, I hope ^_^ Turn on the Daily Show+Colbert Report some time; they're well worth watching!)

[jackandahat]

I'm in England - the videos you link to in some of your fics are blocked for me. But I know of them because it's hard not to if you're online much,- they get mentioned a lot of places. One of those things where even if you don't go near the canon material, you pick stuff up by proxy.

[ptahrrific]

Ahh, that sucks. (I know there are a bunch of Brits in the fandom, though...look into proxy servers sometime.)

I'm glad at least one of my fandoms enjoys that kind of cultural osmosis ^_^;

[geekminxen]

I must be getting the hang of your oeuvre-- I hit the line "Lucky for Jon, he has Stephen," and thought, oh, crap, he pokes Jon where it hurts until Jon beats him.

And even knowing it was coming, the end of the fic still hurt. Well done. :>