Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2007-11-09 12:05 am
ptahrrific) wrote2007-11-09 12:05 am
Fake News: Five Times Jon Terrified Stephen (5)
Title: Five Times Jon Terrified Stephen (5)
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: PG for innuendo
Words: ~3300 in total
Disclaimer: Two.
For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.
And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.
One | Two | Three | Four |Five
Five Times Jon Terrified Stephen
Five.
He can't remember how they came to this point; his mind seems to have blocked out the rest of the conversation. All he knows is that Jon is pushing him and he's trying to evade it and it isn't working because every step is backing him closer and closer to the cliff.
Of course, they're having pizza for lunch.
"Don't be ridiculous, Stephen," says Jon, wiping tomato sauce from his lips. "Whatever you've done, it hasn't gotten rid of me yet, has it?"
"It's not what I've done, Jon," replies Stephen miserably.
"Well, what is it, then?"
His heels are on the edge. "It's what I want to do."
"Come on, Stephen. Just wanting to do something can't possibly be that bad."
"You don't know what it is, Jon."
"So tell me."
There's no way to get out of it. Nowhere to run. Nothing to do except take another step back.
"I want you, Jon," he says.
And then, "I love you."
Jon goes very still.
But he doesn't scream, or shout, or back away; and Stephen, barely breathing, teeters on the edge, clinging to the faint thread of hope that maybe, maybe...
"I'm married," says Jon at last.
"Yeah," says Stephen weakly. "So 'm I."
Jon shakes his head. "No, I mean, I'm straight."
His feet falter, his tether snaps, and Stephen topples over the edge. He buries his head in his hands. On the outside he can feel himself shaking; on the inside, falling...
And then he feels the touch of a hand, palm pressed gently against his hair.
"Stephen," says Jon softly. "Stephen, look at me."
It takes him some time, but at last Stephen looks up, blinking very hard to clear his vision, which has gone maddeningly swimmy.
"I can't," says Jon. "I can't. I'm married; I'm monogamous; I'm straight. I'm sorry. But -- Stephen. Listen to me. Stephen."
He holds Stephen's gaze, and he doesn't look away.
"You're not going to scare me away with something like that. I'm your friend, Stephen, and I love you as a friend, and you're never going to lose that. Never."
Stephen dissolves into relieved sobs, and Jon comes around the desk and holds him, just holds him -- which is the most he can do, certainly not as much as Stephen would have liked, and yet, somehow, it's enough.
Sometimes, when you fall off a cliff, someone catches you.
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: PG for innuendo
Words: ~3300 in total
Disclaimer: Two.
For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.
And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.
One | Two | Three | Four |
Five Times Jon Terrified Stephen
Five.
He can't remember how they came to this point; his mind seems to have blocked out the rest of the conversation. All he knows is that Jon is pushing him and he's trying to evade it and it isn't working because every step is backing him closer and closer to the cliff.
Of course, they're having pizza for lunch.
"Don't be ridiculous, Stephen," says Jon, wiping tomato sauce from his lips. "Whatever you've done, it hasn't gotten rid of me yet, has it?"
"It's not what I've done, Jon," replies Stephen miserably.
"Well, what is it, then?"
His heels are on the edge. "It's what I want to do."
"Come on, Stephen. Just wanting to do something can't possibly be that bad."
"You don't know what it is, Jon."
"So tell me."
There's no way to get out of it. Nowhere to run. Nothing to do except take another step back.
"I want you, Jon," he says.
And then, "I love you."
Jon goes very still.
But he doesn't scream, or shout, or back away; and Stephen, barely breathing, teeters on the edge, clinging to the faint thread of hope that maybe, maybe...
"I'm married," says Jon at last.
"Yeah," says Stephen weakly. "So 'm I."
Jon shakes his head. "No, I mean, I'm straight."
His feet falter, his tether snaps, and Stephen topples over the edge. He buries his head in his hands. On the outside he can feel himself shaking; on the inside, falling...
And then he feels the touch of a hand, palm pressed gently against his hair.
"Stephen," says Jon softly. "Stephen, look at me."
It takes him some time, but at last Stephen looks up, blinking very hard to clear his vision, which has gone maddeningly swimmy.
"I can't," says Jon. "I can't. I'm married; I'm monogamous; I'm straight. I'm sorry. But -- Stephen. Listen to me. Stephen."
He holds Stephen's gaze, and he doesn't look away.
"You're not going to scare me away with something like that. I'm your friend, Stephen, and I love you as a friend, and you're never going to lose that. Never."
Stephen dissolves into relieved sobs, and Jon comes around the desk and holds him, just holds him -- which is the most he can do, certainly not as much as Stephen would have liked, and yet, somehow, it's enough.
Sometimes, when you fall off a cliff, someone catches you.
no subject
Thank you!
no subject
no subject