Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2009-08-03 11:14 am
ptahrrific) wrote2009-08-03 11:14 am
Fake News - Puppy Love (3/3)
Title: Puppy Love (3/3)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Sex talk, panicking Stephen
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!"Stephen"
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: The conclusion of this bit of the Liberalverse. Jon has always encouraged Stephen to develop healthy boundaries, but he never expected to find himself outside of them.
(Okay, a little bit of neuroses-and-despair may have slipped into this one. But the ending is happy, never fear.)
There's also some rambling about l!Stephen's characterization, over here.
Puppy Love (Part III)
"Was three dates really too much to ask?"
Stephen looked up from his computer to see Jon leaning on the doorjamb. "Oh! Jon! Hi!" he stammered. "I was just, uh. Emailing my accountant."
Okay, he had more sort of been staring blankly at an empty text field for the past fifteen minutes. But he was getting there.
(Some people liked to rush their business emails, making them all short and clipped and, well, businesslike. Stephen felt it was worth taking the time to fill them out with moving imagery. If the folks in accounting didn't need to take at least half an hour to interpret his messages, it meant he hadn't been poetic enough.)
"Since when would you rather do business than share your feelings?" countered Jon. "Come on, Stephen, talk to me. Is it something I did? Was I trying to take it too slowly?"
"It's not you!" insisted Stephen, avoiding Jon's eyes. "It's not your fault. It isn't."
"Then why won't you tell me?"
"Because..." Stephen squirmed in his chair. "It's embarrassing."
Silence.
Slowly, fearfully, Stephen raised his head, to find the other man staring at him as if he had sprouted antlers.
"You're embarrassed," repeated Jon in disbelief.
"I'm sorry! I tried not to be!"
"No, no, it's...it's okay." Jon swallowed hard. "It's okay...that you're not completely shameless. It's a good thing."
"Are you mad?" asked Stephen anxiously.
He wanted to reassure Jon that it was okay to be angry, that it would be forgiven. Stephen was a firm believer in doing unto others as you would have done unto you — and whenever he let himself get angry, he desperately wanted the object of his anger to forgive him. But that sort of thing always seemed to make Jon twitchier, though Stephen could never understand why.
Anyway, Jon said he was fine, and left before Stephen could think of anything else to apologize for.
"No, Stephen, why would I be mad?" demanded Jon, pacing the length of the office. "I just found out that I am apparently the only person on the planet you won't jump into bed with. What could possibly be upsetting about that?"
The little Stephen on the desk bobbed noncommittally at him.
Jon had thought about yelling at Stephen in person, but it was like slapping a jello mold: you would meet no resistance, make a big mess, and feel lousy about it after. And if he stayed angry regardless, Stephen would probably have offered him sex out of guilt, which was the last thing Jon wanted.
"But I did actually want to sleep with you!" he continued, addressing the bobblehead (leftover from an ad campaign; Jon had picked it up on a whim, and Stephen had been so enchanted when he found out that Jon had known he could never get rid of it). "After you've been asking for it for years! Why stop now?"
The toy gave him a reproachful shake of the head.
"I know, I know," groaned Jon. "I've spent those years saying you should stop making yourself available to everyone and the kitchen sink. But you picked a hell of a time to develop standards."
Yeah, he definitely couldn't say that to Stephen's face. There had to be something pretty serious going on to come between Stephen and sex; it wouldn't do any good if Jon started mocking it.
When had he started to take the other man's affections for granted, anyway? After brushing them off for so long, why was he acting like Stephen had no right to withdraw the offer?
"I'm sorry," said the plastic Stephen.
Jon nearly jumped out of his skin. Then he got a grip and turned around.
"I don't mean to be a cock-tease," continued the flesh-and-blood Stephen, and didn't that hit Jon's lingering sense of entitlement like a bucket of ice water. "I just came over to bring you this."
He held out another gift basket, one that wasn't comically oversized.
"It's regular chocolate this time," he said quickly. "And some flowers. Nothing to creep you out. And you can still come see Barry any time. If you want. I know you might not want anything to do with me, and that would be okay, too."
"I still want to be your friend, Stephen," protested Jon as he hurried over to accept the basket. To his surprise, even on closer inspection, it was completely benign. "If that's not going to freak you out."
"It's not!" exclaimed Stephen. "Not at all! It's just...I know I'm not the easiest person to be friends with."
If it had been anyone else, Jon would have reacted to this with a white lie. But if there was one thing guaranteed to upset Stephen, it was convenient fictions. He wanted the straight truth, even when strict politeness demanded otherwise.
"You're right," said Jon bluntly. "You're not. But I don't care."
Stephen looked like he might melt into a puddle right there on the hardwood floor.
"So if you dumped me because you're afraid you wouldn't be easy enough to date...." continued Jon hesitantly.
"It's not that," insisted Stephen. "It's — it's — oh, Jon, would you keep a secret for me? Even though I know secrets are toxic, and I know I've always said you can share anything about me, at any time, with anyone, so it would be hypocritical of me to go back on that, and—"
Jon cut him off with a raised hand. "I respect your right to privacy, Stephen. Even when you don't."
Stephen managed a nod, though he still looked uncertain.
"It's getting kind of stuffy in here," continued Jon, setting the gift basket aside. "You want to take a walk?"
They ended up crossing the street and strolling through the shady parts of Clinton, trees and walls and plant-covered fences making a thin attempt at disguising the fact that they were in the middle of a city. The illusion only really worked if you actively agreed to buy into it. Stephen never did.
"I'm...selfish, Jon," he admitted.
He waited for the other man to agree, or at least acknowledge that it was a valid perspective. But Jon just watched him, with even, steady attention.
"Maybe you haven't noticed," allowed Stephen. "I mean, you remember how ready I was to share that Emmy with Barry Manilow. And then there's all the charity work I do, for no recognition whatsoever. I mean, I point it out on the show all the time, but that's only to encourage other people to join in."
"I understand."
"But it's all just me trying to compensate. I'm really a very self-centered person."
"Stephen," said Jon hesitantly, "is this something your parents used to tell you?"
"'Used to'?" echoed Stephen, puzzled. "Mom called me a selfish hedonist on the phone just last week."
Jon looked grim. "Have you told her yet that you want to cut down on those calls?"
"Of course I have. What do you think set her off in the first place?"
"You shouldn't put up with that, Stephen," said Jon, his voice very stern.
"No, no, she's right." Before Jon could contradict him again, Stephen plowed on. "I'm trying to fight it, though. I thought I was doing really well, too! Most of the time I don't even mind sharing! It's like I told my wife — back when she still was my wife, I mean — if I had been the one who walked in on her in our bed with another man, I never would have made a fuss about it!"
Jon's eyebrows shot up, but if he had anything to say about that, he kept it to himself.
"But then, the other night, I was doing...that thing that makes you uncomfortable when I talk about it." Stephen normally abhorred self-censorship, but he figured he owed Jon something for being so good to him. "And I was imagining you, but it was different than usual because I knew it was so close to actually happening, and then I realized...."
He focused resolutely on the path under his feet as he forced the words out.
"I couldn't share you, Jon!" he exclaimed. "I hate the thought of other people even kissing you. If anyone else tried to sleep with you, I would want to smash Sweetness over their stupid head. So you see why I have to cut this off now, before I turn into this horrible controlling person that I don't want to be!"
Jon stopped in his tracks.
Don't hide from the consequences of your actions, Stephen ordered himself, dragging his eyes back to meet Jon's face — and staring in utter confusion.
"Are you kidding?" sputtered Jon, voice weak with relief as he tried and failed to hide a smile with his fist. "Is that all? And here you had me worried there was something terrible going on!"
"Of course it's terrible!" protested Stephen, bewildered. "I just confessed that I'm a possessive, jealous hypocrite! How can you be okay with that?"
"Is that what you said?" asked Jon, laughing outright now. "Because all I heard was that you'd like to experiment with monogamy! I know you disapprove, but I promise, it's a perfectly valid lifestyle choice."
"But the restrictions it would put on you...!"
"What restrictions? I wasn't planning on sleeping around in the first place, whether you minded or not. I'm a one-person-at-a-time kind of person."
"Maybe in practice, but in principle it wouldn't be fair, it—"
"My God, Stephen," interrupted Jon, "stop thinking so much, already."
And he dragged Stephen into a kiss.
Jon's mouth was enthusiastic but sloppy, and Stephen could only put up with that for so long before taking over. He was petrified at first of using too much force, but Jon yielded to his control instantly, with the kind of groan that suggested maybe he didn't mind the way Stephen's hands were yanking at his hair, not that delicious throaty groans automatically implied consent to be pushed up against a handy tree while Stephen nipped at his bottom lip—
Jon wrenched his mouth away with a gasp. Stephen froze.
"Dammit," muttered Jon under his breath, jerking his head towards the road. Stephen followed his gaze just in time to see a cell phone vanish into a pocket before the watching figure turned and bolted.
A moment later, it hit him. "Oh, right. You don't like being in tabloids, do you? If you want to stop...."
"Not on your life," said Jon promptly. "But we better take this inside before it goes any further."
The words perked Stephen up at once. "Can we have wild passionate sex over your desk?" he asked hopefully, as they walked back to the studio arm in arm.
"Let's make it wild passionate sex on your bed," said Jon with a laugh. "Fewer splinters."
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Sex talk, panicking Stephen
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!"Stephen"
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: The conclusion of this bit of the Liberalverse. Jon has always encouraged Stephen to develop healthy boundaries, but he never expected to find himself outside of them.
(Okay, a little bit of neuroses-and-despair may have slipped into this one. But the ending is happy, never fear.)
There's also some rambling about l!Stephen's characterization, over here.
Puppy Love (Part III)
"Was three dates really too much to ask?"
Stephen looked up from his computer to see Jon leaning on the doorjamb. "Oh! Jon! Hi!" he stammered. "I was just, uh. Emailing my accountant."
Okay, he had more sort of been staring blankly at an empty text field for the past fifteen minutes. But he was getting there.
(Some people liked to rush their business emails, making them all short and clipped and, well, businesslike. Stephen felt it was worth taking the time to fill them out with moving imagery. If the folks in accounting didn't need to take at least half an hour to interpret his messages, it meant he hadn't been poetic enough.)
"Since when would you rather do business than share your feelings?" countered Jon. "Come on, Stephen, talk to me. Is it something I did? Was I trying to take it too slowly?"
"It's not you!" insisted Stephen, avoiding Jon's eyes. "It's not your fault. It isn't."
"Then why won't you tell me?"
"Because..." Stephen squirmed in his chair. "It's embarrassing."
Silence.
Slowly, fearfully, Stephen raised his head, to find the other man staring at him as if he had sprouted antlers.
"You're embarrassed," repeated Jon in disbelief.
"I'm sorry! I tried not to be!"
"No, no, it's...it's okay." Jon swallowed hard. "It's okay...that you're not completely shameless. It's a good thing."
"Are you mad?" asked Stephen anxiously.
He wanted to reassure Jon that it was okay to be angry, that it would be forgiven. Stephen was a firm believer in doing unto others as you would have done unto you — and whenever he let himself get angry, he desperately wanted the object of his anger to forgive him. But that sort of thing always seemed to make Jon twitchier, though Stephen could never understand why.
Anyway, Jon said he was fine, and left before Stephen could think of anything else to apologize for.
"No, Stephen, why would I be mad?" demanded Jon, pacing the length of the office. "I just found out that I am apparently the only person on the planet you won't jump into bed with. What could possibly be upsetting about that?"
The little Stephen on the desk bobbed noncommittally at him.
Jon had thought about yelling at Stephen in person, but it was like slapping a jello mold: you would meet no resistance, make a big mess, and feel lousy about it after. And if he stayed angry regardless, Stephen would probably have offered him sex out of guilt, which was the last thing Jon wanted.
"But I did actually want to sleep with you!" he continued, addressing the bobblehead (leftover from an ad campaign; Jon had picked it up on a whim, and Stephen had been so enchanted when he found out that Jon had known he could never get rid of it). "After you've been asking for it for years! Why stop now?"
The toy gave him a reproachful shake of the head.
"I know, I know," groaned Jon. "I've spent those years saying you should stop making yourself available to everyone and the kitchen sink. But you picked a hell of a time to develop standards."
Yeah, he definitely couldn't say that to Stephen's face. There had to be something pretty serious going on to come between Stephen and sex; it wouldn't do any good if Jon started mocking it.
When had he started to take the other man's affections for granted, anyway? After brushing them off for so long, why was he acting like Stephen had no right to withdraw the offer?
"I'm sorry," said the plastic Stephen.
Jon nearly jumped out of his skin. Then he got a grip and turned around.
"I don't mean to be a cock-tease," continued the flesh-and-blood Stephen, and didn't that hit Jon's lingering sense of entitlement like a bucket of ice water. "I just came over to bring you this."
He held out another gift basket, one that wasn't comically oversized.
"It's regular chocolate this time," he said quickly. "And some flowers. Nothing to creep you out. And you can still come see Barry any time. If you want. I know you might not want anything to do with me, and that would be okay, too."
"I still want to be your friend, Stephen," protested Jon as he hurried over to accept the basket. To his surprise, even on closer inspection, it was completely benign. "If that's not going to freak you out."
"It's not!" exclaimed Stephen. "Not at all! It's just...I know I'm not the easiest person to be friends with."
If it had been anyone else, Jon would have reacted to this with a white lie. But if there was one thing guaranteed to upset Stephen, it was convenient fictions. He wanted the straight truth, even when strict politeness demanded otherwise.
"You're right," said Jon bluntly. "You're not. But I don't care."
Stephen looked like he might melt into a puddle right there on the hardwood floor.
"So if you dumped me because you're afraid you wouldn't be easy enough to date...." continued Jon hesitantly.
"It's not that," insisted Stephen. "It's — it's — oh, Jon, would you keep a secret for me? Even though I know secrets are toxic, and I know I've always said you can share anything about me, at any time, with anyone, so it would be hypocritical of me to go back on that, and—"
Jon cut him off with a raised hand. "I respect your right to privacy, Stephen. Even when you don't."
Stephen managed a nod, though he still looked uncertain.
"It's getting kind of stuffy in here," continued Jon, setting the gift basket aside. "You want to take a walk?"
They ended up crossing the street and strolling through the shady parts of Clinton, trees and walls and plant-covered fences making a thin attempt at disguising the fact that they were in the middle of a city. The illusion only really worked if you actively agreed to buy into it. Stephen never did.
"I'm...selfish, Jon," he admitted.
He waited for the other man to agree, or at least acknowledge that it was a valid perspective. But Jon just watched him, with even, steady attention.
"Maybe you haven't noticed," allowed Stephen. "I mean, you remember how ready I was to share that Emmy with Barry Manilow. And then there's all the charity work I do, for no recognition whatsoever. I mean, I point it out on the show all the time, but that's only to encourage other people to join in."
"I understand."
"But it's all just me trying to compensate. I'm really a very self-centered person."
"Stephen," said Jon hesitantly, "is this something your parents used to tell you?"
"'Used to'?" echoed Stephen, puzzled. "Mom called me a selfish hedonist on the phone just last week."
Jon looked grim. "Have you told her yet that you want to cut down on those calls?"
"Of course I have. What do you think set her off in the first place?"
"You shouldn't put up with that, Stephen," said Jon, his voice very stern.
"No, no, she's right." Before Jon could contradict him again, Stephen plowed on. "I'm trying to fight it, though. I thought I was doing really well, too! Most of the time I don't even mind sharing! It's like I told my wife — back when she still was my wife, I mean — if I had been the one who walked in on her in our bed with another man, I never would have made a fuss about it!"
Jon's eyebrows shot up, but if he had anything to say about that, he kept it to himself.
"But then, the other night, I was doing...that thing that makes you uncomfortable when I talk about it." Stephen normally abhorred self-censorship, but he figured he owed Jon something for being so good to him. "And I was imagining you, but it was different than usual because I knew it was so close to actually happening, and then I realized...."
He focused resolutely on the path under his feet as he forced the words out.
"I couldn't share you, Jon!" he exclaimed. "I hate the thought of other people even kissing you. If anyone else tried to sleep with you, I would want to smash Sweetness over their stupid head. So you see why I have to cut this off now, before I turn into this horrible controlling person that I don't want to be!"
Jon stopped in his tracks.
Don't hide from the consequences of your actions, Stephen ordered himself, dragging his eyes back to meet Jon's face — and staring in utter confusion.
"Are you kidding?" sputtered Jon, voice weak with relief as he tried and failed to hide a smile with his fist. "Is that all? And here you had me worried there was something terrible going on!"
"Of course it's terrible!" protested Stephen, bewildered. "I just confessed that I'm a possessive, jealous hypocrite! How can you be okay with that?"
"Is that what you said?" asked Jon, laughing outright now. "Because all I heard was that you'd like to experiment with monogamy! I know you disapprove, but I promise, it's a perfectly valid lifestyle choice."
"But the restrictions it would put on you...!"
"What restrictions? I wasn't planning on sleeping around in the first place, whether you minded or not. I'm a one-person-at-a-time kind of person."
"Maybe in practice, but in principle it wouldn't be fair, it—"
"My God, Stephen," interrupted Jon, "stop thinking so much, already."
And he dragged Stephen into a kiss.
Jon's mouth was enthusiastic but sloppy, and Stephen could only put up with that for so long before taking over. He was petrified at first of using too much force, but Jon yielded to his control instantly, with the kind of groan that suggested maybe he didn't mind the way Stephen's hands were yanking at his hair, not that delicious throaty groans automatically implied consent to be pushed up against a handy tree while Stephen nipped at his bottom lip—
Jon wrenched his mouth away with a gasp. Stephen froze.
"Dammit," muttered Jon under his breath, jerking his head towards the road. Stephen followed his gaze just in time to see a cell phone vanish into a pocket before the watching figure turned and bolted.
A moment later, it hit him. "Oh, right. You don't like being in tabloids, do you? If you want to stop...."
"Not on your life," said Jon promptly. "But we better take this inside before it goes any further."
The words perked Stephen up at once. "Can we have wild passionate sex over your desk?" he asked hopefully, as they walked back to the studio arm in arm.
"Let's make it wild passionate sex on your bed," said Jon with a laugh. "Fewer splinters."
no subject
*dances happily* OH STEPHEN YOU LOVABLE MESS YOU.
That was beautifully done. Every chapter I have to get my head around how awesome you are at just reversing everything so perfectly and so believably.
no subject
QFT forever.
Thank you!
Seagullsong still doesn't have DW
(Anonymous) 2009-08-03 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)*incoherent noises* Man, somebody really has to write liberalverse sex. ReluctantDom!Jon is such a fan favorite that it would be incredibly awesome to see how things go the other way around. Not to mention hot.
Re: Seagullsong still doesn't have DW
I've got my fingers crossed that
Re: Seagullsong still doesn't have DW
Re: Seagullsong still doesn't have DW
(Anonymous) 2009-08-03 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)Thanks!
Re: Seagullsong still doesn't have DW
no subject
Also Jon talking to bobble head Stephen? Priceless. XD
no subject
Thanks!
(And I could stare at that icon all day.)
no subject
Jon had thought about yelling at Stephen in person, but it was like slapping a jello mold: you would meet no resistance, make a big mess, and feel lousy about it after. \o/ This is a fabulously constructed sentence and visual image XD Also... I am intrigued as to what ad campaign the bobblehead would be for in this 'verse; somehow I don't see L!"Stephen" doing Mr. Goodwrench commercials...
The illusion only really worked if you actively agreed to buy into it. Stephen never did. Aw, this completely melted me. It hadn't occurred to me that diversity loving "Stephen" wouldn't necessarily be a fan of the city, and would prefer true nature.
"'Used to'?" echoed Stephen, puzzled. "Mom called me a selfish hedonist on the phone just last week." Oh, Stephen. Now we get into his issues and why he's such a selfless over-sharer doormat.
"Because all I heard was that you'd like to experiment with monogamy! I know you disapprove, but I promise, it's a perfectly valid lifestyle choice." Win forever, Jon, win forever :D Perfectly phrased to make it appealing to Stephen...
Jon's mouth was enthusiastic but sloppy, and Stephen could only put up with that for so long before taking over. He was petrified at first of using too much force, but Jon yielded to his control instantly, with the kind of groan that suggested maybe he didn't mind the way Stephen's hands were yanking at his hair, not that delicious throaty groans automatically implied consent to be pushed up against a handy tree while Stephen nipped at his bottom lip—
And if I hadn't already caved to the inevitability that was loving liberalverse Stephen as much as any other... hoo boy, that did ;-)
no subject
Stephen takes extra care not to say anything bad about the city, because city-lovers' preferences are of course just as valid as his, and he doesn't want to seem judgmental. But it really would be easier on him if he could just take a walk in the park and pretend the buildings weren't there every once in a while. Trouble is, he thinks of even that kind of harmless good-for-the-soul pretense as too close to truthiness (even though he might not have the word for it), and thus something to be avoided at all costs.
And, yeah, "Stephen" wouldn't be "Stephen" without parent issues. I seem to be emphasizing this version's mother issues more than the father issues so far...I wonder if that has any psychological meaning. (Identifying with his passive, guilt-inducing mother more than his active, controlling father? Does that make sense? ...Oh, hey, there's a bunch of that in the next comment down. Well then.)
Jon has heard Stephen talk long enough to imitate his style =3
Most D/s around here has a Dom who knows exactly what they're doing and is a natural at control, so it's ridiculously fun to write a guy who wants to give orders and be rough, but is all kinds of self-conscious about actually doing it.
All of which is to say...glad you enjoyed!
no subject
I think it's neat, the ups and downs that have been had with liberal!Stephen, the ones I've had, too. I think it was a combination of around here and reading some article by some hot-shot company owner about how nerds are just too busy loving being smart than trying to beat the popular system, when they're in school, where I read all that stuff about something being smiliar to you, yet definitely different is more annoying than an outright difference.
I can feel it when Jon's overjoyed to hear that Stephen wouldn't want to share him with any other lover. Yes, Stephen has fears and concerns about control and fairness and hypocrisy, but it's called monogamy and socially acceptable and wonderful, and whoo!
My reviews hardly ever make sense. That being said, (sigh) Stephen's mother. Hey, it's his mother this time! Not that phantom of the tortured psyche and childhood, that overmasculine shadow that's creeped me out so often and threatens brute physical force. It's the stereotypical nurturer. Ooh, the possible correlations between that and liberalism and... yeah, I may just be taking it too far. Though, I wonder why this Stephen turned out to be so liberal. Since it's nature v. nurture for most things, I'm actually thinking that nature did the most work.
This review is all over the place, but this story is so damn appreciated. I never thought I'd like liberal!Stephen so much. One of his flaws can be trying to be so accomodating, but to learn that he'll actually say "no" to Jon (I love how Jon can even recognize that as progress, even if it initially hurts or annoys him when he doesn't get it,) and wants to not share things (since sharing lovers, if you're not cool with that, as evidenced by Stephen being so torn over what happened with his wife,) it's just wonderful. I know the guy's accomodating and would try to make an effort, so I shouldn't read too much into that smaller gift basket and him inviting Jon back to his home.... But
(Where language fails.)
I think they could be sweet together, after many fuckups, like most Jons and "Stephens." Stephen may realize he's being difficult, may have even been tortured into it a bit as a child (sad or good part is that he usually knows) and can't help himself, and Jon's no perfect savior, he's human (which I think turns out to be good in the long-run,) but I think Jon said it best in this story. Stephen may be difficult to be friends with, but he doesn't care. And I know this Stephen is accomodating, said all that, but even a conservative Stephen can't seem to always stay away from Jon. There's love, damn it! Or hope for snuggles before they blow one another to bits in the darkest of writings or something.
All I was really trying to say was that I liked the story, so let's go with that.
no subject
Not that "socially acceptable" is necessarily good...but Stephen has got himself so worked up over the value of breaking boundaries that he has to be reminded that it isn't necessarily bad, either.
I was just thinking about the mother/father issue. There are a couple of references to the character's mom in IAA(ASCY!) ("A messy house says to children, 'I'm not lovable. Otherwise Mommy would dust.'") that suggest a model of selflessness (not just "giving to others", but "giving up your self") and nurturing to the point of being guilt-inducing. Which seems to be the model this Stephen imprinted on, instead of the scary authoritarian father figure.
(I have a vague idea that the character's mother leaned on him for emotional support, which is really not a position kids are equipped to handle. The conservative character responded by putting up blocks until he was as uncaring and unresponsive as her husband; the liberal character tried to support her in everything and ended up emotionally stuck to her, so that even as an adult he has a hard time pulling away.)
It's awkward to be close to somebody who can't say no. You want them to develop that capacity, but at the same time you don't want them saying no to you. Luckily, Jon has the inner balance to handle it without too much frustration.
I'm a little confused about what the next bit means. Are you afraid Stephen would have caved and offered Jon sex anyway, based on the gift basket and the invitation? If Jon had pushed it, he probably would have - his "denying another person's wishes" muscle is unexercised, and was pretty worn out by that point. (Thus the gifts and offers, which were partly to soothe his guilt.) But Jon didn't push.
L!Stephen is much more openly self-aware than the usual version, which is why he actively avoids the things c!Stephen was pressured into believing (often in defiance of facts and logic). But he has a harder time seeing that his avoidance mechanisms are also problems.
Or hope for snuggles before they blow one another to bits in the darkest of writings or something.
...well, there's a charming image to end on =P
This Stephen is not likely to go gun crazy, or even be violent towards himself. He does have a tendency to let other people do that for him (by putting himself out there with no defenses and then never fighting back), but I suspect Jon will be trying to train him out of that too.
no subject
Yeah, that's the guy! (Hee, I'd be happy to say that someone recognized him, but he seems to be popular, already.) I stumbled on that one by accident, couldn't stop reading, and then was left fearing for the youth of America and wondering if there was anything that already overloaded teachers could do.
A messy house says to children, 'I'm not lovable. Otherwise Mommy would dust.'
Seriously, lady and "Stephen"? I haven't finished the book, yet, but I think that quote calls for a lot of expletives, and it smacks of family dysfunction. It also explains a lot in this story, especially issues concerning love, dependency, and the unwillingness to say no. (I think you put the passage in terms of c!Stephen really well, too.)
I'm a little confused about what the next bit means. Are you afraid Stephen would have caved and offered Jon sex anyway, based on the gift basket and the invitation?
I'm not surprised by any confusion, considering the way I word things. :) What I was trying to say is that I think Stephen giving Jon a more "normal" gift basket in this story is a very sweet gesture, but I'm afraid of reading much into the gesture because liberal-Stephen is more aware of people's emotions and feelings than his conservative counterpart, and purposefully tries not to trample on either.
One part of me is thinking, after reading, "How freaking cute is that? The basket is normal-sized and filled with something sweet that Jon would like, chocolate! Oh, and Stephen is still willing, despite all awkwardness, to invite Jon over to play with his dog!" Meanwhile, another part says, "Be careful in analyzing this, not everything any half-way decent Stephen does is squee-worthy, and this one, even though he likes Jon enough to masturbate to his image exclusively, despite believing in sexual freedom, strives to be accommodating to others."
"Or hope for snuggles before they blow one another to bits in the darkest of writings or something."
...well, there's a charming image to end on =P
This Stephen is not likely to go gun crazy, or even be violent towards himself. He does have a tendency to let other people do that for him (by putting himself out there with no defenses and then never fighting back), but I suspect Jon will be trying to train him out of that too.
I may be paranoid, but I want to say now that "darkest writings" wasn't supposed to refer to your fiction exclusively (because I know some of your fics explore the darker side of meta, and P.S., I love you for it,) but rather to just about all the troublesome fictional scenarios out there. To make things even more confusing in my review, I started to ramble about both Jon/liberal-Stephen from this fiction and Jon/any-old-"Stephen" in general.
It just breaks down to something like, "I think, in fiction, it's possible for even the most batshit of 'Stephens' to take something good/some nice moral from Jon, even if the friendship or relationship doesn't work out in the end. Furthermore, in a lot of fiction if the author wants it, the chances of Jon and a regular-conservative-'Stephen' eventually 'snuggling'/getting together/not-hurting-eachother-all-the-time usually aren't that bad. Therefore, even though there are different obstacles for this new liberal-Stephen to overcome and to later get in the way of a relationship, the chances of any sort of long-lasting mutual affection look good to me, if only because this Stephen is more willing to communicate."
I just need to stop analyzing your stuff and just about everything else in some relationship while leaving a review. Either way, comments should be less excitable and jumbled. ^^
My apologies for all that. So, now, I'd like to cheat and theoretically exchange my first comment/review for this chapter, as well as anything confusing and/or weird I've said in this second comment, and replace it with a simpler statement/review:
I never expected to like liberal-Stephen as much as I do now, and finding him a bit annoying; I think some people discussing him was a pretty cool fandom reaction, btw. But yay for progress between Stephen and Jon! I'm glad the date issue was resolved, and I had lots of fun reading. :D <3
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The line seems to reflect something c!Stephen picked up, rather than something he was explicitly told. Still, it's not a good atmosphere for a kid to grow up in. And c!Stephen seems to have internalized a sense of responsibility for his mother; l!Stephen, meanwhile, has internalized a sense of responsibility for everyone in the world.
This Stephen also has a tendency to give unusually extravagant presents, and go out of his way to be giving even to people he doesn't know very well. So the gift basket isn't necessarily a sign that he considers Jon special, because he would make the same gesture for almost anyone. On the other hand, there aren't going to be a lot of such signs in the first place: l!Stephen also goes out of his way not to treat anyone with what he thinks of as "favoritism."
I've definitely written some Stephens that are too far over the edge to get anything good from Jon ^_^; But this version is well on the way to "long-term monogamous relationship, with manageable levels of dysfunction" status. (Which is a long-winded way of saying: a happy ending.)
♥
Ergh, Graham.
Re: Ergh, Graham.
I usually can't make it through his business-heavy musings on startups, but his stuff about creativity and being a geek rings truer than almost everything else I've read on the subject.
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...oh, Stephen. (You know everything's right when you still elicit that response, huh? =P)
I have to second (third? whatever) the, "Of course! This Stephen has mommy issues!" sentiment. That makes absolutely perfect sense.
Gah, I love this 'verse. And this story, of course. Good stuff all around.
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I totally did not plan the mommy issues thing. It just sort of happened. (Symmetry!)
♥
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And, hey, it's nice to be too fluffy once in a while, instead of the other way around. Thanks!
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SERIOUSLY THOUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MORE THAN ANY OTHER STEPHEN I JUST FDJDLK;AFJ COMMON SENSE, HE HAS NONE
The only thing that confuses me is that, as "Stephen" is a gay queer homosexual of the inverted, man-fancying variety no matter which one he is, why did liberal!"Stephen" ever have a wife in the first place? I just. I can't see that he would be at all repressed or in denial about his sexuality.
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THIS.
Or rather, his gut often prods him in the common-sense direction, but he never listens to it unless he understands its reasons, and since it cannot explain them (not being the brain and all), it has started giving up.
a gay queer homosexual of the inverted, man-fancying variety
I love this phrase XD
You see, you see, the thing is -- this Stephen believes that being gay, like being straight, is having a standard based on gender for a role in which gender is not related to skill. Therefore, if you're not omnisexual? You're sexist.
(I pulled this whole idea out of thin air, but there was literally a guy on Dan Savage's podcast recently who said he felt guilty for only being attracted to men - and really masculine ones, at that - because he was worried he wasn't being accepting enough. To which Savage explained, very patiently, that you're not obligated to sleep with a group of people to respect them.)
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OH GOD I'M DYING XDDDDDDDDDD
IT'S SO TRUE
that is a bit sad though. but FSAKLFDSK STEPHEN. HIS ANXIETY. "I DISLIKE VAGINA DOES THIS MAKE ME A MISOGYNIST DDDDDDDDDDD:"
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LULZ OMG I CAN PICTURE THIS SO EASILY.
JON JUST BEING ALL, "...how do I even respond to that."
lulz in the proper place this time
NOW WRITE THIS FIC
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iPhones are tricky hos
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I cannot explain why my first thought was, "Aw, that's sweet."
l!Stephen's call with his mom got me wondering if c!Stephen talks to his mom at all. I know we've heard him say he loves her, like a good boy should, but I dunno. I'm confident that he doesn't talk to his father at all, but I still picture c!Stephen going home for a holiday occasionally, I guess for a really awkward time during which he sticks mostly to his siblings. (There's another fic I completely don't have time to write.) I'm sure l!Stephen makes plenty of efforts to talk to his father, though. No matter what the outcome.
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There's a fic I would love to read, if ever you do find the time. C!Stephen reaches out to his mother quite a bit in canon (getting all the troops to shout "HI, STEPHEN'S MOM!" - I know that's very tied up in r!Stephen's influence, but still), but there's no telling how much she reaches back, or how much real connection he allows. Not that she has as much to criticize as l!Stephen's mother; c!Stephen is a good Catholic boy who married and gave her grandkids, after all.
L!Stephen's father has shut him out completely, and yeah, he does a lot of trying to reconnect anyway. (I imagine him sending Father's Day cards, which always get returned unopened. And, wow, I was honestly not planning to get that depressing this evening.)
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C!Stephen has so much "OH GOD I WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH" going on that I feel like his parents actually do feel that way. That they, like us, see past all the surface confidence. But instead of seeing how friggin' hard he tries, they just see all the ways he fails to actually embody their idea of a good American. Stephen's mother is a tad more sympathetic and loves her grandchildren, but shows markedly more affection for them, hence Stephen's zealous shows of love like getting the troops to say hi. His dad is aloof from Stephen's kids, though, other than some gruff questions at family events, because he has more hope for his other grandkids from his other successful, but less embarrassingly desperate sons and daughters. At least that's how I would write it, because DRAMAAAA.
lol I can't help but get depressing when talking about Stephen characters. They lend themselves so well to it! Except for maybe that happy pink-shirted version we saw that one time. Maybe.
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Drama is fun!
For some reason I imagine happy!Stephen as being too shallow for anything tragic to sink in. Which is kind of depressing all on its own, really.
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Glad you like!