Was the article by Paul Graham, by any chance? (I'm a fan.)
Not that "socially acceptable" is necessarily good...but Stephen has got himself so worked up over the value of breaking boundaries that he has to be reminded that it isn't necessarily bad, either.
I was just thinking about the mother/father issue. There are a couple of references to the character's mom in IAA(ASCY!) ("A messy house says to children, 'I'm not lovable. Otherwise Mommy would dust.'") that suggest a model of selflessness (not just "giving to others", but "giving up your self") and nurturing to the point of being guilt-inducing. Which seems to be the model this Stephen imprinted on, instead of the scary authoritarian father figure.
(I have a vague idea that the character's mother leaned on him for emotional support, which is really not a position kids are equipped to handle. The conservative character responded by putting up blocks until he was as uncaring and unresponsive as her husband; the liberal character tried to support her in everything and ended up emotionally stuck to her, so that even as an adult he has a hard time pulling away.)
It's awkward to be close to somebody who can't say no. You want them to develop that capacity, but at the same time you don't want them saying no to you. Luckily, Jon has the inner balance to handle it without too much frustration.
I'm a little confused about what the next bit means. Are you afraid Stephen would have caved and offered Jon sex anyway, based on the gift basket and the invitation? If Jon had pushed it, he probably would have - his "denying another person's wishes" muscle is unexercised, and was pretty worn out by that point. (Thus the gifts and offers, which were partly to soothe his guilt.) But Jon didn't push.
L!Stephen is much more openly self-aware than the usual version, which is why he actively avoids the things c!Stephen was pressured into believing (often in defiance of facts and logic). But he has a harder time seeing that his avoidance mechanisms are also problems.
Or hope for snuggles before they blow one another to bits in the darkest of writings or something.
...well, there's a charming image to end on =P
This Stephen is not likely to go gun crazy, or even be violent towards himself. He does have a tendency to let other people do that for him (by putting himself out there with no defenses and then never fighting back), but I suspect Jon will be trying to train him out of that too.
no subject
Not that "socially acceptable" is necessarily good...but Stephen has got himself so worked up over the value of breaking boundaries that he has to be reminded that it isn't necessarily bad, either.
I was just thinking about the mother/father issue. There are a couple of references to the character's mom in IAA(ASCY!) ("A messy house says to children, 'I'm not lovable. Otherwise Mommy would dust.'") that suggest a model of selflessness (not just "giving to others", but "giving up your self") and nurturing to the point of being guilt-inducing. Which seems to be the model this Stephen imprinted on, instead of the scary authoritarian father figure.
(I have a vague idea that the character's mother leaned on him for emotional support, which is really not a position kids are equipped to handle. The conservative character responded by putting up blocks until he was as uncaring and unresponsive as her husband; the liberal character tried to support her in everything and ended up emotionally stuck to her, so that even as an adult he has a hard time pulling away.)
It's awkward to be close to somebody who can't say no. You want them to develop that capacity, but at the same time you don't want them saying no to you. Luckily, Jon has the inner balance to handle it without too much frustration.
I'm a little confused about what the next bit means. Are you afraid Stephen would have caved and offered Jon sex anyway, based on the gift basket and the invitation? If Jon had pushed it, he probably would have - his "denying another person's wishes" muscle is unexercised, and was pretty worn out by that point. (Thus the gifts and offers, which were partly to soothe his guilt.) But Jon didn't push.
L!Stephen is much more openly self-aware than the usual version, which is why he actively avoids the things c!Stephen was pressured into believing (often in defiance of facts and logic). But he has a harder time seeing that his avoidance mechanisms are also problems.
Or hope for snuggles before they blow one another to bits in the darkest of writings or something.
...well, there's a charming image to end on =P
This Stephen is not likely to go gun crazy, or even be violent towards himself. He does have a tendency to let other people do that for him (by putting himself out there with no defenses and then never fighting back), but I suspect Jon will be trying to train him out of that too.