I think there's a shame vs. guilt thing going on here. (I read this article recently that distinguished the two - guilt is about what you do, shame is about who you are.) C!Stephen works hard to do everything The Way It's Supposed To Be Done, from his hair to his marriage, all in an effort to avoid guilt. He just has all kinds of shame over his repressed desires. L!Stephen, meanwhile, is completely shameless, but he feels a huge debt to society (in a way that by-your-own-bootstraps c!Stephen never would), and has oodles of (white liberal) guilt over not doing enough.
So either way, they have good intentions, but their screwed-up notions of their own obligations get in the way.
There's a flip side to l!Stephen's overabundance of giving, part of which is that it produces a sense of obligation in the giftees. "I got you a present, so now you have to give me one." Or even "I got you a present, now you have to put up with me." (This doesn't have to be explicitly stated; most people will feel bad about getting unreciprocated gifts.) And when it doesn't work, it leaves Stephen with a lot of resentment - "how can you not love me when I've given you so much?"
So part of Mr. Turtle's appeal (love that name, by the way) is that he refuses to play this game. He sets limits - no quickies in the shower (at least, not while he's married)! - and sticks to them, no matter how many incentives Stephen offers. And to avoid that sense of unwanted obligation, he's been known to turn down gifts when he doesn't think Stephen's getting anything out of the deal. Which means Stephen never has to feel resentful, never gets his accomodating nature taken advantage of.
(At first, Jon just signed the office birthday card. As time went on, he started giving personal cards and nominal gifts to those people he got to know well, including Stephen. Standard office procedure. Never anything on the level of "here, I just spent my entire paycheck on your behalf.")
And, of course, Jon is intelligent and funny and charming and politically aware and interesting and sweet and all those wonderful qualities we flail over. So there's that =P
(Psh. Less self-deprecation, moar "Stephen" meta plzkthx.)
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So either way, they have good intentions, but their screwed-up notions of their own obligations get in the way.
There's a flip side to l!Stephen's overabundance of giving, part of which is that it produces a sense of obligation in the giftees. "I got you a present, so now you have to give me one." Or even "I got you a present, now you have to put up with me." (This doesn't have to be explicitly stated; most people will feel bad about getting unreciprocated gifts.) And when it doesn't work, it leaves Stephen with a lot of resentment - "how can you not love me when I've given you so much?"
So part of Mr. Turtle's appeal (love that name, by the way) is that he refuses to play this game. He sets limits - no quickies in the shower (at least, not while he's married)! - and sticks to them, no matter how many incentives Stephen offers. And to avoid that sense of unwanted obligation, he's been known to turn down gifts when he doesn't think Stephen's getting anything out of the deal. Which means Stephen never has to feel resentful, never gets his accomodating nature taken advantage of.
(At first, Jon just signed the office birthday card. As time went on, he started giving personal cards and nominal gifts to those people he got to know well, including Stephen. Standard office procedure. Never anything on the level of "here, I just spent my entire paycheck on your behalf.")
And, of course, Jon is intelligent and funny and charming and politically aware and interesting and sweet and all those wonderful qualities we flail over. So there's that =P
(Psh. Less self-deprecation, moar "Stephen" meta plzkthx.)