Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2007-10-08 12:01 am
ptahrrific) wrote2007-10-08 12:01 am
Entry tags:
Fake News: The Thing With Feathers, Chapter 11
Title: The Thing With Feathers, Chapter 11
Fandom: The Daily Show/The Colbert Report
Rating: PG
Words: ~1700
Disclaimer: Two.
For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.
And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.
Notes: If you want to know exactly what Stephen means by "high-status idiot", and why, in the Vanity Fair article, he made a point to distinguish it from "high-class idiot", the Improv Wiki can help you out.
NoFactZone, as always, has a recap of this episode.
For the full table of contents, click here.
The Thing With Feathers
Chapter 11
(there.)
The car drove off once Stephen shut the door, leaving him to face the back entrance of the Report studio. Not his studio, but the studio that belonged to his character.
No, it's yours. Own it.
It would be easier to pull it off once he was in the full suit, but he straightened his cuffs and adjusted his collar.
It's a scene, just another scene. High-status behaviors. Walk like you expect them to get out of your path. Take up space. Make eye contact, but don't check their eyes for reactions. Be comfortable; be graceful; speak in complete sentences, and always sound certain, even when what you're saying is nonsense.
It's on a bigger scale than you're used to, but it's just a scene, and everyone else is really, really good at staying in character, so you'll have to be on your toes to keep up.
He ran his good hand through his hair, smoothing it down as best he could.
They'll take care of it in makeup. You take it for granted that they will take care of it. That's worked for the other Stephen so far, after all.
No -- there is no 'other Stephen'. For the next hour, you ARE that Stephen.
Wear it heavily.
He arranged his eyebrows, then strode briskly towards the door. And, because he assumed that it would open for him, it did.
---------------------
---------------------
(here.)
For a minute Jon was afraid he hadn't been heard, or understood, or believed; but at last there was a strained and slightly choked shout from within the office: "Go away!"
He turned to the writers, whose attention had shifted wholly to him. "I'm sorry, guys, but could you find somewhere else to be, just for a little bit?"
"If you're sure, Jon," said Eric.
"I'm sure."
"Right," said Allison. "Let's go do some research for Wednesday. I've got an idea for a gag, but first we need to find out how easy it is to spam DailyKos."
They went to one of the offices down the hall -- Jon wasn't sure which of them it belonged to -- and shut the door, leaving him alone.
How would my persona deal with this? The same way he deals with everything Stephen-the-character does. Be the normal one. The straight man in the double act. When the character is angry, be the calm one. When the character is freaking out, be secure. When the character is offended, be cool.
"Stephen?" he said again. "It's just me now. I'm not the Jon you know, but I'm pretty close. Listen, I know I wasn't very nice to you, but I'm not a bad guy, and I'm sorry, I really am. Let me make it up to you."
He stopped to let this sink in.
"Will you let me go home?" called the other Stephen, and Jon's heart began to genuinely soften towards the man.
When the character is confused or misinformed, be the knowledgeable one. Except I can't do that, can I? So just be honest.
"I would," he replied. "I swear I would, but I don't know how."
And then he added, "Whatever's happened -- I want to fix it too. Because whatever brought you here, it took away the Stephen I know, and I want to get him back."
"Oh, sure," snarled Stephen. "You want him, yes, because he's so special and perfect and good. What does he have that I don't?"
That, Jon reflected, was a very long list.
But I never insult Stephen-the-character, do I? I don't point out his flaws. I just roll with them. I react.
Well, now you need to act, he told himself. Stephen's feathers are ruffled. Smooth them.
"It isn't about which of you is a better person," he said. "It's just that he's the one who belongs here. You and he are completely different people."
"How do you know? You don't know anything about me!"
"That's not true, Stephen. I know a lot about you."
"You're wrong! It was a fluke, a one-time thing, I needed my pills, I'll never do it again, I'm not like that!"
"Hang on. What are you--?"
But that was obvious, wasn't it? The character had hardly been here a couple of hours; there were only so many things he'd done.
When the character is homophobic, be the tolerant one.
"Stephen, the whole kiss thing, it's not a big deal. I'm not offended. I'm not angry. I'm not ... what I mean is, I don't think any less of you for it."
"Really, Jon? Because you sure looked offended!"
"You surprised me -- that's all, I swear. Like I said, my Stephen wouldn't have done that. But," he added quickly, "it doesn't make you a worse person than he is. Just -- different. There are lots of other differences, too."
"You keep saying that! How do you know?"
"I know," replied Jon, "because my Stephen plays you on TV."
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---------------------
(there.)
"Tonight!" announced Stephen to the camera, with the subtitle Rove Over. "Karl Rove resigns. Where will he go next? I hear Iraq could use some architects."
He spun, faced the next one; the subtitle switched to John Eat Words. "Then, Elizabeth Edwards says her husband isn't a woman. Finally, a concession to the moral majority."
Another spin. Nutrition Impossible, the subtitle concluded. "And I talk to nutritionist Michael Jacobson about what foods people shouldn't eat..." He pulled a carton out from under the desk. "...and offer him some delicious AmeriCone Dream."
He set it down and looked solemnly at the final camera. "Of all the TV shows on all the stations in all the world, you turned on to mine. Good choice! This -- is The Colbert Report!"
It was the material that, if the Stephen of this world had sat in the chair, would have been pre-empted by the deprivation-induced freakout. In the real world, all they had needed to write was the freakout itself. Stephen could have acted it out again, of course; but he had already been improvising for an hour nonstop, and he badly needed the relief.
The opening music played, the crowd leapt to its feet, and Stephen absorbed the eruption of cheers. (Own it.)
There had been time for the merest run-through of the first act's material, the part which was genuinely new to him; but he took the frustration and used it, turned it into the temperament of his character. He used the worry, too, and the fear, and even the stabbing guilt he felt whenever he shouted at someone on his staff (own them). They all became anger, and he grabbed hold of that anger (use it) and channeled it outward.
He desperately didn't want to be this person, so he took the do not want and used it to wedge himself deeper into the role. It was a mercilessly useful cycle.
But the cheering, as he soaked it in, made him feel better; and as he pretended to fret over Rove's resignation the diehard liberal inside him was grinning, so that helped; and the silly childishness of the Wørd, even without the punch lines appearing beside him, went far to restoring his natural good humor.
By the first commercial break, he felt almost optimistic again.
Hope.
When the break was over, he still had plenty of anger; that was okay, because he had to do a ThreatDown. But the anger was no longer a desperate outpouring of other emotions, which also worked in his favor, because you need to have a sense of humor if you're going to admonish a bunch of delinquents in sonar.
"And yes," he added, though it wasn't in this script, "I can catch a moth in the dark."
In this un-ironic version of the show, it was the first actual joke he had done, and his audience laughed -- a real, innocent, appreciative laugh.
They laughed even harder during the "Monkey On The Lam" graphic. Stephen could feel his tight grip on the character slipping, but not letting go; rather, it was turning into something loose and flexible. Besides, the acting here wasn't much of a stretch. Both versions of Stephen thought it was an awesome graphic.
The interruption wasn't in the script this time, but the real Bobby caught his attention mid-rant. "What's that?" asked Stephen.
"Um, Stephen, the monkey's been caught."
"They caught him?" repeated Stephen. "Aw, come on. I want a monkey on the lam! I mean, look at this graphic!"
The bit played again, and he wasn't sure which Stephen was enjoying it more.
"Please," he said when it was done, "somebody release a monkey."
More laughter. Which just went to show that, no matter what stripe of the political spectrum you hail from, monkeys are always funny.
He had almost forgotten the text of the next threat (Karl Rove), and when he saw it scrolling up the prompter he was nearly blindsided by a sudden surge of grief. But he faced the emotion, caught it, and then he was riding it like a kid with a board and a wave.
"He's leaving 'for the sake of his family'? What about my family? Do you know what they've gone through because I've been defending this guy through the past six years? Do you know what awful names they call my child on the playground?" he demanded, and he could feel the sympathy pouring from the audience as his tone wobbled.
He was light; he was loose; he was flexible. He was running little distances from the script, reworking it based on what had worked at the taping in his own world, on what felt organic, and on what felt like a good idea at the time.
There was some more ranting at Rove in the script, but he dropped it. "I'm sorry," he said pitifully, grabbing the little orange bottle of prop pills from under the desk and pouring a handful into his palm. "I just..." He sighed and tipped them into his mouth.
"Threat number two," he went on, chewing and swallowing quickly, "marmosets..."
He kept talking until it was time to run the "Monkey On The Lam" graphic again, and only then, while the screeching and cheesy video-game music were playing, did he stop long enough to think.
His real prescription had been in a green bottle. The character's pills were in the orange one, to make the difference obvious. Except that this was the character's world.
When the camera cut back, he met it with a blank stare.
"Nation," he said, once he realized that he had to say something, and quickly: "I don't mind telling you, after seeing that story, I am terrified."
Fandom: The Daily Show/The Colbert Report
Rating: PG
Words: ~1700
Disclaimer: Two.
For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.
And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.
Notes: If you want to know exactly what Stephen means by "high-status idiot", and why, in the Vanity Fair article, he made a point to distinguish it from "high-class idiot", the Improv Wiki can help you out.
NoFactZone, as always, has a recap of this episode.
For the full table of contents, click here.
The Thing With Feathers
Chapter 11
(there.)
The car drove off once Stephen shut the door, leaving him to face the back entrance of the Report studio. Not his studio, but the studio that belonged to his character.
No, it's yours. Own it.
It would be easier to pull it off once he was in the full suit, but he straightened his cuffs and adjusted his collar.
It's a scene, just another scene. High-status behaviors. Walk like you expect them to get out of your path. Take up space. Make eye contact, but don't check their eyes for reactions. Be comfortable; be graceful; speak in complete sentences, and always sound certain, even when what you're saying is nonsense.
It's on a bigger scale than you're used to, but it's just a scene, and everyone else is really, really good at staying in character, so you'll have to be on your toes to keep up.
He ran his good hand through his hair, smoothing it down as best he could.
They'll take care of it in makeup. You take it for granted that they will take care of it. That's worked for the other Stephen so far, after all.
No -- there is no 'other Stephen'. For the next hour, you ARE that Stephen.
Wear it heavily.
He arranged his eyebrows, then strode briskly towards the door. And, because he assumed that it would open for him, it did.
---------------------
(here.)
For a minute Jon was afraid he hadn't been heard, or understood, or believed; but at last there was a strained and slightly choked shout from within the office: "Go away!"
He turned to the writers, whose attention had shifted wholly to him. "I'm sorry, guys, but could you find somewhere else to be, just for a little bit?"
"If you're sure, Jon," said Eric.
"I'm sure."
"Right," said Allison. "Let's go do some research for Wednesday. I've got an idea for a gag, but first we need to find out how easy it is to spam DailyKos."
They went to one of the offices down the hall -- Jon wasn't sure which of them it belonged to -- and shut the door, leaving him alone.
How would my persona deal with this? The same way he deals with everything Stephen-the-character does. Be the normal one. The straight man in the double act. When the character is angry, be the calm one. When the character is freaking out, be secure. When the character is offended, be cool.
"Stephen?" he said again. "It's just me now. I'm not the Jon you know, but I'm pretty close. Listen, I know I wasn't very nice to you, but I'm not a bad guy, and I'm sorry, I really am. Let me make it up to you."
He stopped to let this sink in.
"Will you let me go home?" called the other Stephen, and Jon's heart began to genuinely soften towards the man.
When the character is confused or misinformed, be the knowledgeable one. Except I can't do that, can I? So just be honest.
"I would," he replied. "I swear I would, but I don't know how."
And then he added, "Whatever's happened -- I want to fix it too. Because whatever brought you here, it took away the Stephen I know, and I want to get him back."
"Oh, sure," snarled Stephen. "You want him, yes, because he's so special and perfect and good. What does he have that I don't?"
That, Jon reflected, was a very long list.
But I never insult Stephen-the-character, do I? I don't point out his flaws. I just roll with them. I react.
Well, now you need to act, he told himself. Stephen's feathers are ruffled. Smooth them.
"It isn't about which of you is a better person," he said. "It's just that he's the one who belongs here. You and he are completely different people."
"How do you know? You don't know anything about me!"
"That's not true, Stephen. I know a lot about you."
"You're wrong! It was a fluke, a one-time thing, I needed my pills, I'll never do it again, I'm not like that!"
"Hang on. What are you--?"
But that was obvious, wasn't it? The character had hardly been here a couple of hours; there were only so many things he'd done.
When the character is homophobic, be the tolerant one.
"Stephen, the whole kiss thing, it's not a big deal. I'm not offended. I'm not angry. I'm not ... what I mean is, I don't think any less of you for it."
"Really, Jon? Because you sure looked offended!"
"You surprised me -- that's all, I swear. Like I said, my Stephen wouldn't have done that. But," he added quickly, "it doesn't make you a worse person than he is. Just -- different. There are lots of other differences, too."
"You keep saying that! How do you know?"
"I know," replied Jon, "because my Stephen plays you on TV."
---------------------
(there.)
"Tonight!" announced Stephen to the camera, with the subtitle Rove Over. "Karl Rove resigns. Where will he go next? I hear Iraq could use some architects."
He spun, faced the next one; the subtitle switched to John Eat Words. "Then, Elizabeth Edwards says her husband isn't a woman. Finally, a concession to the moral majority."
Another spin. Nutrition Impossible, the subtitle concluded. "And I talk to nutritionist Michael Jacobson about what foods people shouldn't eat..." He pulled a carton out from under the desk. "...and offer him some delicious AmeriCone Dream."
He set it down and looked solemnly at the final camera. "Of all the TV shows on all the stations in all the world, you turned on to mine. Good choice! This -- is The Colbert Report!"
It was the material that, if the Stephen of this world had sat in the chair, would have been pre-empted by the deprivation-induced freakout. In the real world, all they had needed to write was the freakout itself. Stephen could have acted it out again, of course; but he had already been improvising for an hour nonstop, and he badly needed the relief.
The opening music played, the crowd leapt to its feet, and Stephen absorbed the eruption of cheers. (Own it.)
There had been time for the merest run-through of the first act's material, the part which was genuinely new to him; but he took the frustration and used it, turned it into the temperament of his character. He used the worry, too, and the fear, and even the stabbing guilt he felt whenever he shouted at someone on his staff (own them). They all became anger, and he grabbed hold of that anger (use it) and channeled it outward.
He desperately didn't want to be this person, so he took the do not want and used it to wedge himself deeper into the role. It was a mercilessly useful cycle.
But the cheering, as he soaked it in, made him feel better; and as he pretended to fret over Rove's resignation the diehard liberal inside him was grinning, so that helped; and the silly childishness of the Wørd, even without the punch lines appearing beside him, went far to restoring his natural good humor.
By the first commercial break, he felt almost optimistic again.
Hope.
When the break was over, he still had plenty of anger; that was okay, because he had to do a ThreatDown. But the anger was no longer a desperate outpouring of other emotions, which also worked in his favor, because you need to have a sense of humor if you're going to admonish a bunch of delinquents in sonar.
"And yes," he added, though it wasn't in this script, "I can catch a moth in the dark."
In this un-ironic version of the show, it was the first actual joke he had done, and his audience laughed -- a real, innocent, appreciative laugh.
They laughed even harder during the "Monkey On The Lam" graphic. Stephen could feel his tight grip on the character slipping, but not letting go; rather, it was turning into something loose and flexible. Besides, the acting here wasn't much of a stretch. Both versions of Stephen thought it was an awesome graphic.
The interruption wasn't in the script this time, but the real Bobby caught his attention mid-rant. "What's that?" asked Stephen.
"Um, Stephen, the monkey's been caught."
"They caught him?" repeated Stephen. "Aw, come on. I want a monkey on the lam! I mean, look at this graphic!"
The bit played again, and he wasn't sure which Stephen was enjoying it more.
"Please," he said when it was done, "somebody release a monkey."
More laughter. Which just went to show that, no matter what stripe of the political spectrum you hail from, monkeys are always funny.
He had almost forgotten the text of the next threat (Karl Rove), and when he saw it scrolling up the prompter he was nearly blindsided by a sudden surge of grief. But he faced the emotion, caught it, and then he was riding it like a kid with a board and a wave.
"He's leaving 'for the sake of his family'? What about my family? Do you know what they've gone through because I've been defending this guy through the past six years? Do you know what awful names they call my child on the playground?" he demanded, and he could feel the sympathy pouring from the audience as his tone wobbled.
He was light; he was loose; he was flexible. He was running little distances from the script, reworking it based on what had worked at the taping in his own world, on what felt organic, and on what felt like a good idea at the time.
There was some more ranting at Rove in the script, but he dropped it. "I'm sorry," he said pitifully, grabbing the little orange bottle of prop pills from under the desk and pouring a handful into his palm. "I just..." He sighed and tipped them into his mouth.
"Threat number two," he went on, chewing and swallowing quickly, "marmosets..."
He kept talking until it was time to run the "Monkey On The Lam" graphic again, and only then, while the screeching and cheesy video-game music were playing, did he stop long enough to think.
His real prescription had been in a green bottle. The character's pills were in the orange one, to make the difference obvious. Except that this was the character's world.
When the camera cut back, he met it with a blank stare.
"Nation," he said, once he realized that he had to say something, and quickly: "I don't mind telling you, after seeing that story, I am terrified."
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He arranged his eyebrows, then strode briskly towards the door. And, because he assumed that it would open for him, it did.</>
Funny, yet kinda creepy.
Somehow I don't think that "Stephen" is going to appreciate having Stephen's job explained to him.
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The flail only increases from this point on -- in both worlds. Hang in there.
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Awwww, "Stephen".
Lines I especially like That, Jon reflected, was a very long list. XD
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Thank you =D
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Ooo, I wanna know how "Stephen" handles learning about Stephen's act. *grabby hands*
Pins and needles, dude. Pins and needles.
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Hang in there.
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(Anonymous) 2007-10-08 05:19 am (UTC)(link)no subject
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Anyway, love for thiiiisssss. I love the whole "coping by turning it into improv" thing. It makes me want to do theater again in a weird way... So yes. GOOD ON YOU, LITTLE ONE.
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Little? Me? It's a lie, I tell you.
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You can totally feel Stephen's nervousness. And somehow I don't think being high during the show would change him that much from "Stephen", because he can babbles about such nonsense, but I'm probably too optimistic here. Now if he's still high after the show...
Did I ever say I can't wait for the next chapter ?
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Babbling is, as far as I can tell, not an effect of large amounts of Vicodin. There will, however, be other things to watch out for.
Hang in there.
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(I seriously need to start finding something more intelligent to say)
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Otherwise, though, I will always appreciate straight-up approval =D
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Hang in there.
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i don't know why i lol'ed so hard when that came up. >.<
it's just so true.
you have a way of making me more interested in a different universe each time. i WAS all like "STEPHEN" DON"T CRY! ... poor guy.
now im all into O SNAP STEPHEN, YOUR GUNNA BE HIGH.
hey... that rhymes. damn im amazing.
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As long as you're absorbed in whichever universe you're reading about at the moment, it's all good ^_^
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Favorite line of this chapter: He arranged his eyebrows, then strode briskly towards the door. And, because he assumed that it would open for him, it did.
Haha, that really captures "Stephen"'s character for me, if Stephen can keep this attitude up he's gonna be fine.
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Keep your fingers crossed...
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Jon was so sweet! I loved where he stopped trying do deal with "Stephen" the character, and started genuinely reacting to him as a person.
After my wisdom teeth were out I took two Vicodin, and even that made me totally incomprehensible, so I can imagine the drama that will ensue...
Great chapter!
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The drama only goes up from this point. Hang in there!
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I am glad to see Jon making a concerted effort with 'Stephen'.
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Glad you like Stephen's thought process (it's pretty much an amalgamation of everything I know about acting), and Jon's long-in-coming turnaround =)
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Truth.
This is very enjoyable so far - keep it up!
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Thank you!
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(But oh, the parallels! Stephen's getting high, "Stephen"'s going into withdrawal ....)
Wear it heavily.
WIN! I love it. The whole scene where Stephen puts on the character - incredible.
(DailyKos reference. XD )
I love Jon understanding that "Stephen" can only deal with him right now, and telling the others to get lost. And I love the way he describes his straight-man act - it's exactly "Jon."
Oh, boy, Stephen performing as "Stephen" - it is depressingly familiar to this Star Wars fan. D: Anger, fear, agression - don't turn to the dark side, Stephen!
feathers and hope, I see you there! They seem to be calling out turning points, yes? As soon as that hope crops up Stephen stops letting his anger feed itself, loosens his hold on the character, lets a little of his own humor through, and suddenly it gets better. (And easier, which leads to accidentally taking drugs, which is not so good. Eeeeep!)
And finally - I LOVE the audience's reaction to Stephen's real jokes. I bet they don't get that very often!
(In just barely before TCR! Oh, JON, you are such a diplomat!)
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*claps* Oh, good, someone noticed!
The whole scene where Stephen puts on the character - incredible.
Thank you. It's an amalgamation of everything I know about acting and improv but am too bad at it to use directly.
Jon understands "Jon", at least on the surface, which in practice is enough to mimic him. So that's good.
Feathers and hope, feathers and hope, yes indeed -- they're all over this story, and definitely key. (Love your read of Stephen's mental shift.) Keep watching for them!
I slept through the shows (oh, mysterious exhaustion, you know how to strike where it hurts); I'm about to catch the reruns. But "Jon is a diplomat" is hardly a spoiler for me, if the way I write him is any indication...
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I'm currently writing (well, trying; stupid writer's block) a fic with the same premise, (meaning, the Stephens switching 'verses) so I really am enjoying your take on it. It's fun to screw with people's minds, isn't it? =P
Excellent work! Can't wait for more!
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It's tons of fun.
Thank you!
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He desperately didn't want to be this person, so he took the do not want and used it to wedge himself deeper into the role. It was a mercilessly useful cycle.
You've been doing a fantastic job with this and I'm loving every chapter :) I need more!
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So glad you like it, and hang in there!
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Jon and Stephen are both starting to get a handle on their situations. Which, naturally, means they're about to hit new complications.
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Seriously, so well done on Stephen's improv skills and how he uses them and how he thinks; excellently done.
It's all very exciting.
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So glad it was not only good, but apparently sexy =3
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<3
Oh no, he took the Vicodin.