ptahrrific | Here's What You Missed bonus: The one with the sitcom titles

A mini behind-the-scenes post for Here's What You Missed!

The original version of the Career Day conversation from chapter 2, compared to the version that got published. (Major spoilers for the first 2 chapters. The rest of the fic is safe.)

When I first wrote this, it was just going to be some exposition about Wanda and the boys' "family history" within the Hex...plus some ominous conversation about walls.

Going back through Gdocs' version history, here's the last saved "just exposition, no running gags" draft:

At the dinner table, Mamá says, "Any fun news from school today?"

Marc and Steven both have their mouths full of lasagna right then, so Jake gets to answer first. "We're doing a Career Day."
"How nice! Does that mean you get to talk about what jobs you want to have when you grow up?"
"Nah." Which is a shame, Jake has a bunch of awesome jobs in mind, and anyone with taste would be excited to hear about them. "We have to talk about what you do."
"...Oh."
"Going to be a little repetitive," frets Steven, "having three of us, and only one parent to give presentations on."
"It'll be fine," says Marc. "I bet Mom does enough cool stuff for all of us to talk about."
"Well, I certainly do a lot," says Mamá. "But I don't know if it'll be all that 'cool' to you kids."
"What's your favorite thing you did?" asks Jake, secretly prepared to call dibs.
"Oh, that's easy!" Mamá sits up straighter and spreads her hands, taking in the whole building around them. "I designed the house you're in now. Liked it so much, I decided instead of selling it, I would have my family live here."
"Gosh, really?" breathes Steven. "I thought the house was older than you!"
"I designed it to look older. A throwback to a classic style."

"Something else I'm proud of is...the walls."
"The walls of the house?" asks Jake, frowning.
"No, no. You won't see them around here. But I've designed some very good walls. They're strong, to keep bad things out, so the people inside are safe and protected. And they look nice, too."
"Ooh." Those sound cool. "Can we go see them some time?"
"You just wanna see if you can kick 'em down," says Marc.
"Do not!" (Okay, maybe he did a little.) "Maybe I wanna learn to build walls, ever think of that?"
"No."
"Well, I do," says Jake stubbornly. "I'd build the biggest, best walls ever. Then I could put me on one side, and you on the other, and you'd never see or hear from me again."
Steven looks mournfully down at his lasagna. "I don't think I like walls."

That gap between two of Wanda's lines is a "come back and write a good transition between these two chunks of conversation later" space.

Somewhere in the middle of filling it in...I realized I could put the phrase "full house" in the dialogue.

Next thing you know, I have Wikipedia's lists of American sitcoms by decade open in the next window, trawling it for other titles I could work in.

Here's the final version that got posted:

At the dinner table, Mamá says, "Any fun news from school today?"

Marc and Steven both have their mouths full of lasagna right then, so Jake gets to answer first. "We're doing a Career Day."
"How nice! Does that mean you get to talk about what jobs you want to have when you grow up?"
"Nah. It's not a free for all." Their loss. Jake has a bunch of awesome jobs in mind, and anyone with taste would be excited to hear about them. "We have to talk about what you do."
"...Oh."
"Going to be a little repetitive," frets Steven, "only having one parent between us. Every time one of us gets called for a presentation, it'll be all, here we go again."
"We'll get by," says Marc. "I bet Mom does enough cool stuff for all of us to talk about."
"I certainly do a lot," allows Mamá. "But I don't know if it'll seem all that 'cool' to you kids. It's all relative."
"What's your favorite thing you did?" asks Jake, secretly prepared to call me pido.
"Oh, that's easy!" Mamá sits up straighter and spreads her hands, taking in the building around them: the big open floor plan, dinner table in this half, couches and TV in the other, a door to the kitchen and a staircase up to the bedrooms. "The house we're in, right now."
"Whoa," says Marc. "You designed the full house?"
"I thought it was older than you!" adds Steven, bewitched.
"Cheers, sweetheart," says Mamá proudly. "I designed it to look older. That's one of my specialties -- coming up with designs that are throwbacks to classic styles, but still fit the needs of a modern family. And then I liked this one so much, I decided instead of selling it, I would keep it all in the family."
"Wait, you can just -- do that?" Marc looks around at the room, worried, like he thinks someone's going to catch them out and take the house away. "I thought you worked for someone else? Who's the boss?"
"I used to work for someone else," corrects their mother. "And I was...moving up in the field, for a while. Could have taken over the whole operation, if I wanted to."
"So...why didn't you?" asks Jake. Geez, if he had a chance to be king of the hill like that...
"Well, I suppose you could say we ran into some growing pains," says Mamá. "And...then came you."
She winks.
Marc, who had just gone for a drink, chokes on his milk. Jake has to thwap him on the back a couple times, which is a good excuse to cover for how hard he's blushing.
They know the facts of life and all -- they're almost ten now, old enough to get smart about that stuff -- but that doesn't mean he wants his mother winking about it!
"Your father and I both scaled our careers back." Mamá rests her chin on her hand, smiling wistfully at nothing in particular. "He went to the office less. I stopped trying to run giant projects that affected hundreds of people, and started taking things one day at a time. We wanted to live the simple life...just focus on our little one for a while..."
Jake and his brothers are all dead silent now, riveted.
This is going miles off-topic for Career Day -- but into a topic they normally don't get on at all. Mamá mostly gets distant and sad when it's one of them bringing up father.
"...and we had everything set up to raise one child on our own, when we got the good news." She points to each of the boys in turn: "Baby and baby and baby makes five."
The counting seems to snap her out of whatever memory she was in. Reminding her that the family is down to four again.
"Anyway, I never went back to work full-time, but I didn't want to get out of practice," she says, shaking herself and pushing back her hair. "Most of what I've designed since then is walls."
"...House walls?" asks Marc. Giving up on ferreting out anything more about Papi tonight, apparently.
"No, no. Not any of the ones you'll see around here," says Mamá. "But trust me, they're excellent walls. They look nice, but they're strong, too -- built to last. All kinds of dangerous things have tried to break them down, and they're still standing."
Okay, that sounds cool enough that Jake has to ask more. "Can we go see 'em some time?"
Marc scoffs. "You wish. You just wanna see if you can kick 'em down."
"Do not!" (Okay, maybe Jake did a little.) "Maybe I wanna learn to build walls, ever think of that?"
"No."
"Well, I do," says Jake stubbornly. "I'd build the biggest, best walls ever. Then I could be in the good place on one side, and dump you on the other, and you'd never see or hear from me again."
Steven looks mournfully down at his lasagna. "I don't think I like walls."
"We won't go see the walls, sweetheart," says Mamá. "Tell you what -- let's all finish eating, then I'll find the original blueprints for this house, all right? It's been through some home improvement projects since then. You can try to find all the differences with how it looks here and now."

I think that has all the titles linked. If you spot any I missed, comment and let me know! (Some of them only fit under a very broad definition of "sitcom", but oh well.)

Leftover titles, from the list of shows I wrote down because they had potential, but didn't manage to work in:

Hanging In, Perfect Strangers, Big Brother Jake, Go On, House Rules, Married People, Wings, Misery Loves Company, I'm With Her, Just Shoot Me, Rules of Engagement, The Trouble With Normal, Wanda At Large, Chicago Sons, Three's Company, Brotherly Love, Working It Out

My one regret is that I didn't manage to work in Wanda at Large.

Here's What You Missed bonus: The one with the sitcom titles

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