Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2013-01-11 02:15 pm
ptahrrific) wrote2013-01-11 02:15 pm
Entry tags:
Madoka Magica | Homura, Madoka, Sayaka | PG-13 | Persephone's Waltz (16)
Title: Persephone's Waltz, Chapter 16: I believe it's the right thing to do.
Characters/Pairings: Madoka/Sayaka, (skip) Tomohisa, Junko
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Warnings: See table of contents.
Our heroines adjust to life on the run, do some studying, and try to lay the groundwork for a safe Walpurgisnacht. It's an uphill battle.
***
April 20
Wednesday
The alarm went off at half past four in the morning. Madoka and Sayaka crawled out of bed, pulled on their raincoats and gathered armloads of their few pre-arranged belongings, and crept through the foggy pre-dawn grey to the hotel down the block.
The room not set to get new guests in the afternoon had rich blue trim on the king-size blankets, and matching upholstery on the lounge by the window. Sayaka was in heaven. Madoka was mostly interested in whether the mattress was soft.
Instead of climbing into bed with her, Sayaka tucked the blankets up around Madoka's shoulders and smoothed down her hair. "I'm going to sneak down to the kitchen and see if I can pick up some breakfast."
"Mmm," said Madoka, eyes already closed. "Stay safe."
***
While Sayaka sprawled on her stomach on the mattress, crunching on an apple in one hand and turning the pages of one of Mami's notebooks with the other, Madoka sat on the floor and leaned against the window. She had been using Mami's phone, but when the Internet turned up zero references to any such game as Kaguya Super Contract Z, she ended up taking in the scenery instead.
It was all buildings across the street, tall silver ones in modern designs studded with windows, except for a tiny grove of trees on the corner. Two major roads crossed here, one of them with signs to indicate it led to a bridge, and by late morning there was a steady flow of cars and bicycles lining up each time the light changed. The glass tube of a bus stop sat in front of one of the building entrances; Madoka watched a bus pull up and spit out a dozen people, pin-sized from this height, to scatter in all directions.
They were high enough in the building that the horizon was visible, and very far away. Madoka could, by now, look at it for minutes at a time without getting dizzy. That was good.
Lots of things are good, she thought, cheeks warming. Being with Sayaka was making all the rest infinitely more bearable.
She went back to focusing on the foot traffic below until she was interrupted by a groan from Sayaka, who pushed the book aside and padded over to sit with her, collapsing against her back in a dramatic slump.
"Not going well?" asked Madoka lightly.
Sayaka huffed a sigh. "Needed a break. This whole volume so far is records of team-up strategies she used to do with Miss Veteran, back when Miss Veteran was still Miss Rookie. How is that supposed to help me? It's not like I have anyone to team up with now."
"Maybe one day you will," offered Madoka. "It doesn't hurt to plan ahead."
"Maybe," said Sayaka grudgingly. "So...what have you been up to?"
Madoka nodded to the people on the streets, going to work or coming home with shopping or delivering takeout or catching planes. "Watching them all. Trying to convince myself that if I was down there, I wouldn't have to keep track of every single one of them. That most of them probably wouldn't even notice me."
"Mmm."
She found one of Sayaka's hands and squeezed it. "It's silly, I know...."
"Yeah, geez, Madoka," deadpanned Sayaka. "You get kidnapped by one obsessive stalker, and all of a sudden you start having trust issues? Come on."
Madoka giggled in spite of herself. Sayaka hummed with pleasure and rested her head on Madoka's shoulder.
"I wanted to sneak back to Mami's tonight. Pick up any food that's left. Clothes, too — she was taller than you, so you should be able to wear them, even if they don't really fit."
"That's a good idea."
"So you'll be okay on your own?"
Madoka's hand tensed in Sayaka's. "You were going to go alone?"
"One person is less risky than two, right? And I can move faster if you're not there. Not that you're slow! It's a puella magi thing, that's all."
"No, of course, you're right," said Madoka, willing herself to stay calm. She'd been on her own for a while this morning, right? And she'd slept right through it, and woken up fine. This would be exactly the same, just longer. Sayaka would come back.
Like Homura always came back.
Sayaka considered this for a moment, then slid her fingers out of Madoka's and stood up. She returned a moment later to drop to one knee in front of Madoka, holding something slender and pale: the last of the plastic knives she'd so painstakingly sharpened, the only one she hadn't used. It glowed blue-white and twisted in her grip.
"Would it help to have this?" she asked, offering Madoka the silver dagger with an intricate blue pattern carved on the golden hilt. Madoka must have made a face, because she added, "You don't have to use it on anything! It would be enough to scare off anyone who came in, that's all."
Madoka shook her head. She was afraid of being alone, even in this open set of rooms with a door she could unlock and windows to the sky, not afraid of someone finding her. "Thank you, but no...can you enchant the phone, please? I'll call my parents again, see if Mama's home this time. That's what would help."
***
Sayaka balanced on the hotel roof, watching the last red and violet streaks of sunset melt away on the horizon. A quick search for Akemi found her nowhere in the area. Nor were there any other puella magi nearby.
Her uniform materialized in a flash of blue.
She bent her legs, flexed her magic, and leaped. The armor was strong, the leather supple, the cape pure white as it swirled out behind her. The building across the street loomed in her vision for a few heart-pounding seconds before her boots touched down, with painless, catlike grace.
Mami's post-mortem lesson #1: success! Sayaka allowed herself a determined fist-pump, a grin of pride — not that she would have taken the risk if there had been any doubts, but still, it was a good feeling. Then she took off across the roof toward the next leap.
Now this was the way to travel.
***
Not only was Mama home tonight, she was the one to pick up the call.
"Can you tell us something, sweetheart?" she asked, after Madoka had reassured her in person that she was fine, she and Sayaka were safe, they could all be reunited soon. "Did you ever try to send us any messages?"
"Yes!" exclaimed Madoka, hugging the increasingly ragged Panda-san. She had almost forgotten. "Weeks ago. That person said if I didn't give away who they were, I could write a letter telling you I was okay."
"The handwriting specialist said it was yours!" exclaimed her mother. "He also said you were upset when you wrote it. As if I needed to pay someone to tell me that!"
Madoka giggled with relief. Now if she could just get Mama on her side, it would take so much of the worry off her shoulders. "I was scared, that was all. I tried to send you a coded message first, only the person caught me — it's all right, they didn't hurt me!" she added quickly, when someone on the other end gasped. "They made me rewrite it, nothing else."
Her mother was the first person not to go into protestations about perspective, and guilt, and what counted as "hurt." Instead she said, "Madoka, you feel you have to protect this person. Is that right?"
Did she have to? "Not exactly," said Madoka, choosing her words with care. "It's more that...I believe it's the right thing to do. Sayaka feels the same way."
"Could it be because you think they're a good person? Maybe what happened was an accident, and they would have let you go if they weren't afraid of being punished? Or maybe they're sick, have some kind of problem with self-control, and you're worried they won't get help if they're caught?"
Madoka opened her mouth for another "not exactly," then had a thought. "Did you talk to a specialist in this too?"
It was Papa who answered this one. "We've talked to specialists in everything, honey."
Which meant someone with experience would be using this conversation, trying to draw out a sketch of Homura's personality from the shadows cast by everything Madoka said. "They're not an evil person. That's all I want to say right now, okay?"
"All right," said Mama, in a sterling talking-to-clients tone of calm authority. "Madoka, the reason I ask is...if it was only ever you and Sayaka-chan who were kidnapped, and if you both agree...we can try to find a solution that doesn't hurt this person. I can't promise anything, because Sayaka-chan's parents might still want to press charges, you understand? But if you do let me know who they are, I will do everything I can to make sure they're treated fairly. If they need any kind of medical help, we'll see that they get it."
Madoka had the best mother in the world.
And, in the quiet as she tried to figure out an answer, she caught a strange noise in the background — a rustle of papers, a clicking sound, the murmur of a low voice that wasn't Papa's.
"This number can't be traced," she said, and was secretly kind of pleased at the scramble from the strangers in the room who had been caught out. "Don't worry, I won't hang up! You can keep trying for as long as you want. I just thought you might like to know."
To her credit, Mama didn't even try to deny it. "They're the best in Japan," she replied, and added a sidelong "For all the good that's done us!"
Even safely across the city, the shout made Madoka wince. (It was a good thing her parents were experienced at finding experts, because this was going to need one.) "I'm sorry, Mama. It was a really good offer, and I wish...." No, that was an incautious phrase to use these days. "I mean, it would be wonderful if we could say yes."
Papa stepped in again. "Is there something else you need? To feel safe coming home?"
Aside from four solid walls and not too many non-Sayaka people around? "Just what I already told you. I can come home after the storm."
***
Mami's apartment was empty this time. Really empty.
Without Madoka or even that annoying Kyoko, Sayaka had to work even harder to distract herself from sights like the half-read magazine waiting on the table, the azaleas by the window wilting and shedding dried petals for lack of care. The thrill of her successful rooftop sprint drained away fast.
She was pawing through Mami's dresser drawers when the silence got choking.
"This is what you would want, right, Mami-san?" she said out loud. "For your things to be used in the cause of justice, instead of sitting around collecting dust until someone realizes the rent's not being paid and comes around to throw them out?"
There was no cosmic sign of disapproval, so Sayaka added several pairs of clean underwear to the pile — she was using one of Mami's pillowcases as a bag — and went looking for safety pins. She found them instantly, a tin on one of the bookshelves next to a bowl of hair decorations. After tossing the lot into her makeshift sack, she brushed her fingers over a blue hair clip decorated with a cluster of golden flowers.
A static shock jumped to her hand.
"Fine!" cried Sayaka. "I'm sorry, okay? But I was trying! Maybe if I'd gotten out earlier I would have been able to save you, but I did everything I could!"
She stalked over to the closet. A couple of sundresses — Madoka wouldn't be able to wear those. A black dress with a high V-neck and pink ribbon trim, yes, that might do. A rich purple kimono, with a gorgeous pattern of clustered violets, much too fancy for wearing on the run. Lots of blouses. Madoka would like the yellows, and the greens; the oranges weren't really her style. It wasn't really cold, even for April, but a couple of cardigans might not go amiss if she could carry them.
"Turns out I'm not very good at saving people," continued Sayaka to her imaginary Mami. "Couldn't even save Madoka on my own; she had to plan it out herself. And now...did you know a Walpurgis Night is coming? Even I can sorta feel it now, if I hold my Soul Gem the right way. And you were the expert on that kind of thing."
There was at least one reference to "Walpurgis Night" in Mami's records, in a short glossary of puella-magi-related words and phrases. Term for a rare kind of witch too strong to need a barrier, it said of this one. Possibly a group of them? Someone must have thought so — the term is German for "a gathering of witches." Rumors say it can even be sensed well before it manifests.
"Thing is, it's probably gonna kill a lot of people. Akemi was convinced about that, which obviously doesn't mean much, but your protégé thought so too. And all I'm doing about it is telling my parents to get out of the city. Pushing them out of the way, instead of doing what I can to stop the thing in its tracks."
Sayaka dropped the pillowcase next to the front door, did another search for Akemi (nowhere nearby), and strode past the floor-to-ceiling windows toward the kitchen.
"It isn't even like when I left that guy in the toxic building after the box witch." She could picture Mami's shock at that, the disappointment in another kouhai letting her down. "I know. Some hero of justice I am, huh? But even though that was wrong, at least he was a horrible creep who deserved a good scare."
Canned fruit. Boxed cereal. Juice. Nothing that would spoil easily or needed to be heated to eat, although Kyoko seemed to have cleaned those foods out already. A sturdy cloth grocery bag was enough to hold almost everything left.
"Whereas Walpurgis Night will take out people who've never done anything wrong," said Sayaka. "Not to mention how it'll wreck businesses, maybe flatten homes. What if it comes by the school? Smashes up the technology they've fundraised so hard to get? What if it comes by the hospital?"
She did what she should have done from the beginning: searched for money. There was a small pile of bills in the living room bureau, top right drawer, under one of the vases of wilting flowers. Sayaka tucked them in the bag next to the cans.
"And Madoka can stop it."
Nothing else too valuable (at least, not in this apartment; her search alerted her to some fancy items upstairs, and more around the corner, and...but none of that mattered). Maybe Kyoko had run off with jewelry, too.
"Nobody else. At least, nobody in range of my powers. But she'd have to become a puella magi to do it, and by now you would know better than any of us what that really means. Would you risk that?"
One of the things Mami had said flashed through her mind. Whether to become a magical girl isn't something anyone else can decide for you. You have to consider all the evidence and make that choice yourself.
Sayaka sank to her knees by the side of the wedge-shaped table where Mami had offered her cake and tea. The table where she had first seriously taken in the idea that magical creatures were lurking in the shadows of her everyday life, and one of them might have murdered the girl she loved — even if she'd been too preoccupied taking care of Kyousuke to realize just how much.
"My wish, and everything since...it's all been to protect her." Sayaka's hand twitched on the glass tabletop. "Even if it's selfish, don't I have a right to keep doing that?"
The Mami in her imagination wasn't convinced for a second.
But then, the Mami in her imagination was barely more than a sketch, a first impression. Sayaka had known the real girl for just over a week; neither of them would have been putting any less than her best front forward. How could she know what the real Mami would think? She'd been acquainted with Kyuubei just as long, and Akemi for longer by the time she contracted, and look how good her judgment of character there had been.
Maybe Mami had her own dark side. Maybe she would have listened to Sayaka's story, nodded thoughtfully with those sad eyes of hers, and said something like Forget about heroics and justice. I only talk about them to look impressive in front of my kouhai. Deep down, I believe that in a situation like this, you may as well save the person who's most important to you.
"...and maybe I'm desecrating your memory even to suspect it," said Sayaka out loud, forcing herself back up. If she was going to waste time spinning in circles and getting nowhere, she should at least get back to Madoka first. "I'm not deciding anything now, okay? So whatever you would have thought, you don't have any reason to be disappointed in me."
At least, not yet.
***
April 21
Thursday
Sayaka was trying. That much was clear. She couldn't help it that studying had never agreed with her, that she got antsy if she had to focus on something like a textbook for more than half an hour at a time.
Madoka tried to keep track of when Sayaka needed a break, and indicate that she was available for therapeutic making out if necessary.
She was on top of Sayaka on the bed, hair swept back in a simple ponytail to keep it out of both their faces, when Sayaka unlocked their mouths and blurted, "Can you help me with the reading?"
"I don't know," stammered Madoka. "Can I? Even if I did read some of it, you'd still have to learn those parts yourself eventually...."
"I know, I know." Sayaka ran her hands the curve of down Madoka's spine. "But some of it isn't really useful. Like the teamwork parts, remember? I thought you could sorta...filter it. Find the most important parts, and tell me to read those first. And maybe we could talk them over afterward. Not that you should ever need to know any of this yourself! All I'm saying is, maybe I would learn it better that way."
"That makes sense." Madoka hugged Sayaka's waist with her knees. "All right! Let's do it."
"Not right this second, though," said Sayaka hurriedly, and pulled her down to kiss her again.
Characters/Pairings: Madoka/Sayaka, (skip) Tomohisa, Junko
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Warnings: See table of contents.
Our heroines adjust to life on the run, do some studying, and try to lay the groundwork for a safe Walpurgisnacht. It's an uphill battle.
***
April 20
Wednesday
The alarm went off at half past four in the morning. Madoka and Sayaka crawled out of bed, pulled on their raincoats and gathered armloads of their few pre-arranged belongings, and crept through the foggy pre-dawn grey to the hotel down the block.
The room not set to get new guests in the afternoon had rich blue trim on the king-size blankets, and matching upholstery on the lounge by the window. Sayaka was in heaven. Madoka was mostly interested in whether the mattress was soft.
Instead of climbing into bed with her, Sayaka tucked the blankets up around Madoka's shoulders and smoothed down her hair. "I'm going to sneak down to the kitchen and see if I can pick up some breakfast."
"Mmm," said Madoka, eyes already closed. "Stay safe."
***
While Sayaka sprawled on her stomach on the mattress, crunching on an apple in one hand and turning the pages of one of Mami's notebooks with the other, Madoka sat on the floor and leaned against the window. She had been using Mami's phone, but when the Internet turned up zero references to any such game as Kaguya Super Contract Z, she ended up taking in the scenery instead.
It was all buildings across the street, tall silver ones in modern designs studded with windows, except for a tiny grove of trees on the corner. Two major roads crossed here, one of them with signs to indicate it led to a bridge, and by late morning there was a steady flow of cars and bicycles lining up each time the light changed. The glass tube of a bus stop sat in front of one of the building entrances; Madoka watched a bus pull up and spit out a dozen people, pin-sized from this height, to scatter in all directions.
They were high enough in the building that the horizon was visible, and very far away. Madoka could, by now, look at it for minutes at a time without getting dizzy. That was good.
Lots of things are good, she thought, cheeks warming. Being with Sayaka was making all the rest infinitely more bearable.
She went back to focusing on the foot traffic below until she was interrupted by a groan from Sayaka, who pushed the book aside and padded over to sit with her, collapsing against her back in a dramatic slump.
"Not going well?" asked Madoka lightly.
Sayaka huffed a sigh. "Needed a break. This whole volume so far is records of team-up strategies she used to do with Miss Veteran, back when Miss Veteran was still Miss Rookie. How is that supposed to help me? It's not like I have anyone to team up with now."
"Maybe one day you will," offered Madoka. "It doesn't hurt to plan ahead."
"Maybe," said Sayaka grudgingly. "So...what have you been up to?"
Madoka nodded to the people on the streets, going to work or coming home with shopping or delivering takeout or catching planes. "Watching them all. Trying to convince myself that if I was down there, I wouldn't have to keep track of every single one of them. That most of them probably wouldn't even notice me."
"Mmm."
She found one of Sayaka's hands and squeezed it. "It's silly, I know...."
"Yeah, geez, Madoka," deadpanned Sayaka. "You get kidnapped by one obsessive stalker, and all of a sudden you start having trust issues? Come on."
Madoka giggled in spite of herself. Sayaka hummed with pleasure and rested her head on Madoka's shoulder.
"I wanted to sneak back to Mami's tonight. Pick up any food that's left. Clothes, too — she was taller than you, so you should be able to wear them, even if they don't really fit."
"That's a good idea."
"So you'll be okay on your own?"
Madoka's hand tensed in Sayaka's. "You were going to go alone?"
"One person is less risky than two, right? And I can move faster if you're not there. Not that you're slow! It's a puella magi thing, that's all."
"No, of course, you're right," said Madoka, willing herself to stay calm. She'd been on her own for a while this morning, right? And she'd slept right through it, and woken up fine. This would be exactly the same, just longer. Sayaka would come back.
Like Homura always came back.
Sayaka considered this for a moment, then slid her fingers out of Madoka's and stood up. She returned a moment later to drop to one knee in front of Madoka, holding something slender and pale: the last of the plastic knives she'd so painstakingly sharpened, the only one she hadn't used. It glowed blue-white and twisted in her grip.
"Would it help to have this?" she asked, offering Madoka the silver dagger with an intricate blue pattern carved on the golden hilt. Madoka must have made a face, because she added, "You don't have to use it on anything! It would be enough to scare off anyone who came in, that's all."
Madoka shook her head. She was afraid of being alone, even in this open set of rooms with a door she could unlock and windows to the sky, not afraid of someone finding her. "Thank you, but no...can you enchant the phone, please? I'll call my parents again, see if Mama's home this time. That's what would help."
***
Sayaka balanced on the hotel roof, watching the last red and violet streaks of sunset melt away on the horizon. A quick search for Akemi found her nowhere in the area. Nor were there any other puella magi nearby.
Her uniform materialized in a flash of blue.
She bent her legs, flexed her magic, and leaped. The armor was strong, the leather supple, the cape pure white as it swirled out behind her. The building across the street loomed in her vision for a few heart-pounding seconds before her boots touched down, with painless, catlike grace.
Mami's post-mortem lesson #1: success! Sayaka allowed herself a determined fist-pump, a grin of pride — not that she would have taken the risk if there had been any doubts, but still, it was a good feeling. Then she took off across the roof toward the next leap.
Now this was the way to travel.
***
Not only was Mama home tonight, she was the one to pick up the call.
"Can you tell us something, sweetheart?" she asked, after Madoka had reassured her in person that she was fine, she and Sayaka were safe, they could all be reunited soon. "Did you ever try to send us any messages?"
"Yes!" exclaimed Madoka, hugging the increasingly ragged Panda-san. She had almost forgotten. "Weeks ago. That person said if I didn't give away who they were, I could write a letter telling you I was okay."
"The handwriting specialist said it was yours!" exclaimed her mother. "He also said you were upset when you wrote it. As if I needed to pay someone to tell me that!"
Madoka giggled with relief. Now if she could just get Mama on her side, it would take so much of the worry off her shoulders. "I was scared, that was all. I tried to send you a coded message first, only the person caught me — it's all right, they didn't hurt me!" she added quickly, when someone on the other end gasped. "They made me rewrite it, nothing else."
Her mother was the first person not to go into protestations about perspective, and guilt, and what counted as "hurt." Instead she said, "Madoka, you feel you have to protect this person. Is that right?"
Did she have to? "Not exactly," said Madoka, choosing her words with care. "It's more that...I believe it's the right thing to do. Sayaka feels the same way."
"Could it be because you think they're a good person? Maybe what happened was an accident, and they would have let you go if they weren't afraid of being punished? Or maybe they're sick, have some kind of problem with self-control, and you're worried they won't get help if they're caught?"
Madoka opened her mouth for another "not exactly," then had a thought. "Did you talk to a specialist in this too?"
It was Papa who answered this one. "We've talked to specialists in everything, honey."
Which meant someone with experience would be using this conversation, trying to draw out a sketch of Homura's personality from the shadows cast by everything Madoka said. "They're not an evil person. That's all I want to say right now, okay?"
"All right," said Mama, in a sterling talking-to-clients tone of calm authority. "Madoka, the reason I ask is...if it was only ever you and Sayaka-chan who were kidnapped, and if you both agree...we can try to find a solution that doesn't hurt this person. I can't promise anything, because Sayaka-chan's parents might still want to press charges, you understand? But if you do let me know who they are, I will do everything I can to make sure they're treated fairly. If they need any kind of medical help, we'll see that they get it."
Madoka had the best mother in the world.
And, in the quiet as she tried to figure out an answer, she caught a strange noise in the background — a rustle of papers, a clicking sound, the murmur of a low voice that wasn't Papa's.
"This number can't be traced," she said, and was secretly kind of pleased at the scramble from the strangers in the room who had been caught out. "Don't worry, I won't hang up! You can keep trying for as long as you want. I just thought you might like to know."
To her credit, Mama didn't even try to deny it. "They're the best in Japan," she replied, and added a sidelong "For all the good that's done us!"
Even safely across the city, the shout made Madoka wince. (It was a good thing her parents were experienced at finding experts, because this was going to need one.) "I'm sorry, Mama. It was a really good offer, and I wish...." No, that was an incautious phrase to use these days. "I mean, it would be wonderful if we could say yes."
Papa stepped in again. "Is there something else you need? To feel safe coming home?"
Aside from four solid walls and not too many non-Sayaka people around? "Just what I already told you. I can come home after the storm."
***
Mami's apartment was empty this time. Really empty.
Without Madoka or even that annoying Kyoko, Sayaka had to work even harder to distract herself from sights like the half-read magazine waiting on the table, the azaleas by the window wilting and shedding dried petals for lack of care. The thrill of her successful rooftop sprint drained away fast.
She was pawing through Mami's dresser drawers when the silence got choking.
"This is what you would want, right, Mami-san?" she said out loud. "For your things to be used in the cause of justice, instead of sitting around collecting dust until someone realizes the rent's not being paid and comes around to throw them out?"
There was no cosmic sign of disapproval, so Sayaka added several pairs of clean underwear to the pile — she was using one of Mami's pillowcases as a bag — and went looking for safety pins. She found them instantly, a tin on one of the bookshelves next to a bowl of hair decorations. After tossing the lot into her makeshift sack, she brushed her fingers over a blue hair clip decorated with a cluster of golden flowers.
A static shock jumped to her hand.
"Fine!" cried Sayaka. "I'm sorry, okay? But I was trying! Maybe if I'd gotten out earlier I would have been able to save you, but I did everything I could!"
She stalked over to the closet. A couple of sundresses — Madoka wouldn't be able to wear those. A black dress with a high V-neck and pink ribbon trim, yes, that might do. A rich purple kimono, with a gorgeous pattern of clustered violets, much too fancy for wearing on the run. Lots of blouses. Madoka would like the yellows, and the greens; the oranges weren't really her style. It wasn't really cold, even for April, but a couple of cardigans might not go amiss if she could carry them.
"Turns out I'm not very good at saving people," continued Sayaka to her imaginary Mami. "Couldn't even save Madoka on my own; she had to plan it out herself. And now...did you know a Walpurgis Night is coming? Even I can sorta feel it now, if I hold my Soul Gem the right way. And you were the expert on that kind of thing."
There was at least one reference to "Walpurgis Night" in Mami's records, in a short glossary of puella-magi-related words and phrases. Term for a rare kind of witch too strong to need a barrier, it said of this one. Possibly a group of them? Someone must have thought so — the term is German for "a gathering of witches." Rumors say it can even be sensed well before it manifests.
"Thing is, it's probably gonna kill a lot of people. Akemi was convinced about that, which obviously doesn't mean much, but your protégé thought so too. And all I'm doing about it is telling my parents to get out of the city. Pushing them out of the way, instead of doing what I can to stop the thing in its tracks."
Sayaka dropped the pillowcase next to the front door, did another search for Akemi (nowhere nearby), and strode past the floor-to-ceiling windows toward the kitchen.
"It isn't even like when I left that guy in the toxic building after the box witch." She could picture Mami's shock at that, the disappointment in another kouhai letting her down. "I know. Some hero of justice I am, huh? But even though that was wrong, at least he was a horrible creep who deserved a good scare."
Canned fruit. Boxed cereal. Juice. Nothing that would spoil easily or needed to be heated to eat, although Kyoko seemed to have cleaned those foods out already. A sturdy cloth grocery bag was enough to hold almost everything left.
"Whereas Walpurgis Night will take out people who've never done anything wrong," said Sayaka. "Not to mention how it'll wreck businesses, maybe flatten homes. What if it comes by the school? Smashes up the technology they've fundraised so hard to get? What if it comes by the hospital?"
She did what she should have done from the beginning: searched for money. There was a small pile of bills in the living room bureau, top right drawer, under one of the vases of wilting flowers. Sayaka tucked them in the bag next to the cans.
"And Madoka can stop it."
Nothing else too valuable (at least, not in this apartment; her search alerted her to some fancy items upstairs, and more around the corner, and...but none of that mattered). Maybe Kyoko had run off with jewelry, too.
"Nobody else. At least, nobody in range of my powers. But she'd have to become a puella magi to do it, and by now you would know better than any of us what that really means. Would you risk that?"
One of the things Mami had said flashed through her mind. Whether to become a magical girl isn't something anyone else can decide for you. You have to consider all the evidence and make that choice yourself.
Sayaka sank to her knees by the side of the wedge-shaped table where Mami had offered her cake and tea. The table where she had first seriously taken in the idea that magical creatures were lurking in the shadows of her everyday life, and one of them might have murdered the girl she loved — even if she'd been too preoccupied taking care of Kyousuke to realize just how much.
"My wish, and everything since...it's all been to protect her." Sayaka's hand twitched on the glass tabletop. "Even if it's selfish, don't I have a right to keep doing that?"
The Mami in her imagination wasn't convinced for a second.
But then, the Mami in her imagination was barely more than a sketch, a first impression. Sayaka had known the real girl for just over a week; neither of them would have been putting any less than her best front forward. How could she know what the real Mami would think? She'd been acquainted with Kyuubei just as long, and Akemi for longer by the time she contracted, and look how good her judgment of character there had been.
Maybe Mami had her own dark side. Maybe she would have listened to Sayaka's story, nodded thoughtfully with those sad eyes of hers, and said something like Forget about heroics and justice. I only talk about them to look impressive in front of my kouhai. Deep down, I believe that in a situation like this, you may as well save the person who's most important to you.
"...and maybe I'm desecrating your memory even to suspect it," said Sayaka out loud, forcing herself back up. If she was going to waste time spinning in circles and getting nowhere, she should at least get back to Madoka first. "I'm not deciding anything now, okay? So whatever you would have thought, you don't have any reason to be disappointed in me."
At least, not yet.
***
April 21
Thursday
Sayaka was trying. That much was clear. She couldn't help it that studying had never agreed with her, that she got antsy if she had to focus on something like a textbook for more than half an hour at a time.
Madoka tried to keep track of when Sayaka needed a break, and indicate that she was available for therapeutic making out if necessary.
She was on top of Sayaka on the bed, hair swept back in a simple ponytail to keep it out of both their faces, when Sayaka unlocked their mouths and blurted, "Can you help me with the reading?"
"I don't know," stammered Madoka. "Can I? Even if I did read some of it, you'd still have to learn those parts yourself eventually...."
"I know, I know." Sayaka ran her hands the curve of down Madoka's spine. "But some of it isn't really useful. Like the teamwork parts, remember? I thought you could sorta...filter it. Find the most important parts, and tell me to read those first. And maybe we could talk them over afterward. Not that you should ever need to know any of this yourself! All I'm saying is, maybe I would learn it better that way."
"That makes sense." Madoka hugged Sayaka's waist with her knees. "All right! Let's do it."
"Not right this second, though," said Sayaka hurriedly, and pulled her down to kiss her again.