Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2012-12-25 06:22 pm
ptahrrific) wrote2012-12-25 06:22 pm
Entry tags:
Madoka Magica | Homura, Madoka, Sayaka | PG-13 | Persephone's Waltz (13)
Title: Persephone's Waltz, Chapter 13: Can you make it?
Characters/Pairings: Madoka/Sayaka, Kyuubei, (skip) original characters, Kyoko
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Warnings: See table of contents.
A wild Kyuubei appears! Sayaka got a SOUL GEM! Sayaka uses Transform! It's super effective!
***
April 18
(Continued)
It's easiest to act when you're playing something close to the truth, remembered Sayaka, sinking to her knees and catching her long-neglected Soul Gem in her hand. She was furious at Kyuubei, and couldn't even be sure of the true extent of his betrayal, but in that moment she was relieved beyond all reason.
—Didn't Mami tell you not to lose track of this?— chided Kyuubei. —It's the sign of all your power, you know.—
"We'll talk about it later!" said Sayaka, blinking back happy tears. The jewel was in its egg-shaped form, gold setting encasing a deep blue surface spotted and splotched with black. She was down to less than a fifth of her power, but it was enough for what she had to do. "Madoka — watch me, watch me!"
And she was enveloped in blue light, swimming in it, her heart dancing.
Madoka stared in awe as the boots of the puella magi Sayaka hit the ground. A pure-white cape swirled out from her shoulders, fastened at her throat with a collar embossed in gold thread; the pleats of a rich blue skirt with white trim fluttered on her hips, held in place by a belt with a gold buckle. She wore a knight's breastplate, gauntlets, and greaves, all in blue with gold edges, while her arms and legs were clad in skintight navy leather that protected her skin while hugging her athletic curves. Lacy frills, diamond buttons, and her Soul Gem completed the ensemble: the gem itself in the shape of a darkness-spattered blue shield, locked in a gold setting over her heart.
"Sayaka," breathed Madoka. "It's amazing!"
Grinning, Sayaka drew a sword from the air. The blade gleamed silver; the gold and blue hilt fit snugly in her gloved hand, gold tassels spilling over her wrist. It felt like she could take on a dozen Akemis with this, or a hundred witches. It felt like she could do anything.
So she dropped to her knees and leaned forward on the blade, its point biting into the stone floor like sod. "What would you have me do, my lady?"
"Your leg. Do you have enough power to heal it? Be completely honest."
Sayaka palmed her Soul Gem. "I won't be strong enough to fight a witch afterward...but I can."
"Good. Do it." Madoka clapped her hands together. "Kyuubei! Is Akemi Homura still out of range?"
—She is currently engaged in a battle with a witch, in an area out of visual and auditory range of this building,— confirmed Kyuubei.
"Good." Madoka made a darting motion toward the stairs, then hopped back and grabbed the stuffed panda from the pile of plushies. Tucking him under one arm, she pointed with the other. "Sayaka! The door."
***
Three silver slashes, and the heavy metal door that had been the end of Madoka's world for almost a month shattered and was kicked out of the way like so much stage glass.
"We'll need money," ordered Madoka. "And hats, hoods, something like that. And find me some shoes!"
In a quick circle of the first level Sayaka found Madoka's own pair of loafers, a stash of thousand-yen bills, and a couple of hooded raincoats in black and dull brown. "The phone isn't here," she announced.
"We'll make do." Madoka stuffed Panda-san in the inner pocket of her oversized raincoat. "What about...however you clean your Soul Gem?"
"Grief Seeds," said Sayaka. "None here. Akemi must have all of hers on her."
—This is a most irregular conflict you have gotten yourselves into,— observed Kyuubei.
"Not now," Madoka snapped at him. "Sayaka, what's the safest path to a train station?"
"The safest path to anywhere off this block is narrow," said Sayaka, leaning against the back door. Outside was grey, a rainstorm either about to break or having just passed. "Akemi has traps. You have to follow me exactly, okay?"
Madoka took her outstretched hand. "I promise."
***
And then they were out.
***
The street was full of puddles. Sayaka's sturdy boots barely noticed, but Madoka's loafers must have soaked through.
They jogged the first block, until Madoka was gasping for breath and tripping over nothing. Sayaka herself was starting to feel the burn of needing to use magic to keep the pace up, so she slowed to a walk and put her arm around Madoka's waist. "The train station is in five blocks. Can you make it?"
"If we walk," panted Madoka. "Let's walk. Will people notice Kyuubei...?"
—Normal people with no potential cannot see me,— said Kyuubei, who had been trotting easily behind them at any pace. —You will not be conspicuous.—
Sayaka had to grit her teeth to keep from yelling at the little rat. Madoka hadn't given her permission, so she wouldn't start in on him, but oh, how she wanted to. Normal people also won't hear if we use telepathy, because it involves using Kyuubei as a relay.
Thank you, thought Madoka, and squeezed her arm. You didn't mention that before, Incubator.
—The opportunity never came up,— replied Kyuubei.
Sayaka bit her tongue. Don't say it, don't say it....
Is that also why you never told Sayaka that magical girls turn into witches? asked Madoka. Physically she was still breathing hard; mentally she had a scary sort of calm.
—Yes.—
Sayaka tensed, and Madoka seemed startled herself. You admit it? Just like that?
—It was never a secret,— said Kyuubei, as blandly as if he were letting them know the weather. —You could have asked at any time.—
You didn't think we might want to know? burst out Sayaka. That the things we're fighting are—are—! She cut off as Madoka gave her a sharp jab in the ribs.
—Witches and their familiars are a cause of grief, despair, and even death among other humans, a problem which every female adolescent I have contracted with seeks to avoid. As long as they are told to clean their Soul Gems, what purpose would it serve to know the reason? Many die before it even becomes an issue.—
The houses were giving way to taller buildings, convenience stores and restaurants filling the areas at street level. There were even people, strangers, bundled up in raincoats or at least with umbrellas at the ready.
But the reason witches exist is because you introduced puella magi here in the first place, pointed out Madoka. Why? What possible reason could you have for doing something like that?
Kyuubei told them.
Sayaka felt sicker and more dismal with every word. He explained in the simplest of terms about the end of the universe, the way magic was rigged to run on the pain of teenage girls, how humans in the eyes of his species were worth as much as cows or pigs. All with the same sociopathic false cheer he had used when making her the original offer she couldn't refuse.
How much of this does Mami know? thought Madoka, as they approached the glass-and-metal awning that covered the train stop's benches. A couple of ticket-selling machines sat dripping outside the gates.
—She never asked about any of it, and I never told her.—
A wave of relief broke through Sayaka's generally miserable mood. Her senpai hadn't known.
Then, Incubator, I know all I need to know, thought Madoka. Go away.
—Excuse me?—
You heard me. Shoo. Get out of my sight! If your deceitful presence is still within reach in thirty seconds, I'll have Sayaka here slice your head clean off your body.
—I will never understand humans,— said Kyuubei, and trotted away, fluffy tail swishing behind him.
***
They had just gotten under the platform when it started to rain again.
"I think I need to detransform," said Sayaka, in a voice so low Madoka almost missed it. "Is that okay?"
"What? Of course! Yes, do that right away," stammered Madoka, distracted. Her feet squished in her wet socks, and why hadn't she brought some of the food? "Oh...your feet, are they going to be all right?"
Only Sayaka's ordinary socks now stuck out from under the black raincoat. "I think so," she said, clutching the egg-shaped gem in one hand and touching the other to each foot. The socks glowed and bulged under her fingertips, then morphed into navy leather boots with sapphire-studded silver buckles. "This kind of change...it's easier than being in battle mode. Costs almost nothing."
"That's good," said Madoka, and winced as her stomach growled. "Sorry...."
Sayaka offered her a weak smile. "Don't worry. Just wait until we get to Mami's house. We'll be safe there — she'll probably have Grief Seeds — she can help us call our parents — and best of all? She bakes."
***
It was pouring in earnest when the metro arrived.
Because of the weather, the cab was packed. Sayaka and Madoka squeezed into the mass of people, hoods up, arms linked. Madoka started breathing hard again and had to be pulled in by Sayaka, though they hadn't been running at all.
"Are you okay?" murmured Sayaka as the metro rumbled forward.
"S-so many people," gasped Madoka. There was a tall man in a puffy jacket right behind her, and a businesswoman holding the strap to her right while playing a game on her cell phone, and a young woman grabbing on to her boyfriend instead of a strap or pole who kept bumping into Sayaka, and a couple of fussing children two seats down, and.... "I don't know these people. Sayaka, I don't know them."
Sayaka was torn between comforting her and yelling at her. It had to be some kind of trauma, nothing to do with Sayaka, but still! What did she want, an escape route that felt exactly like the place they were escaping from? "Wasn't that the point?" she demanded. "Would you rather be back with Akemi? At least you know her, right?"
"That isn't what I meant!" said Madoka weakly. "Sayaka, please...."
It took all Sayaka's strength in that moment to give her a one-armed hug rather than snapping again. Almost there. It's only forty minutes to Mami's stop. You'll get a Grief Seed soon. "Just think about me. And Panda-san," she huffed. "You know us."
(Although what did Madoka need a gift from Akemi for, anyway? What kind of comfort was that supposed to be? Didn't she know how inadequate it made Sayaka feel? Didn't she appreciate...?)
"Talk to me about something else," she said, panting a little herself now. "Anything else."
Madoka closed her eyes and turned her head against Sayaka's chest. "The first thing I want to bake is red velvet cake with buttercream frosting and chocolate chips," she said. "The next thing I want to bake is breaded fish patties. The third thing I want to bake...I think bread, with red bean paste inside. The fourth...."
***
Madoka listed foods until she couldn't think of any more, then went over her favorite stuffed animals back home, then summarized the plot of the last movie she had seen.
It helped, a little, with ignoring the chaotic press of people people people. She kept wanting to look at the clock, but of course it wasn't there. She would move to put on some soothing music, and remember that she couldn't. There was no fresh water on hand, nothing to eat. All she had was a stuffed panda, wet feet, and a Sayaka whose brief resurgence of happiness hadn't stuck.
"This is our stop," muttered Sayaka at last.
WIth a dozen other people they exploded out onto the platform. Madoka held Sayaka's hand and squished down the stairs behind her, the faintness dissipating as the crowd dispersed.
"I don't know where we are," she whispered as they passed a line of waiting buses and a handful of convenience stores and pastry shops targeting busy passengers. The downpour here had tapered off to a light rain, still enough to obscure the skyline. "I don't know this place at all."
Sayaka hissed through her teeth. "When we were inside you could have looked at the station map."
"I know. I'm sorry." Madoka tried to pull herself together. Sayaka had been happy to follow her lead when she seemed like she knew what she was doing. "How far is Mami's place from here?"
"Not quite as far as that house was from the last station. Across the bridge."
A walk she could make, if she had to. But she didn't like it. "Can you find a vending machine first? Something with food?"
The stores would be fresher, but the machines were less likely to recognize them from photos on the news. They had more than enough cash left for sweet buns and a couple of cheap sodas. Madoka drank half of hers in one go, and munched on the bun as they walked across the commuter bridge, not caring that the drizzle got it soggy.
As they passed the third or fourth identical apartment complex, Sayaka steered Madoka into the parking lot.
"We're here."
***
Nobody answered her knock, so Sayaka used the barest fraction of her power to transmogrify Mami's lock into not-a-lock, letting it slide back to its ordinary form as soon as they were inside.
While Madoka closed the door, Sayaka all but sprinted away from her. No time to explain. There was a Grief Seed in Mami's room — no, two! — and one of them nearly empty, thank all that was good in this world.
Sayaka yanked open the relevant desk drawer without once looking at anything else, collapsed onto Mami's white sheets, and cupped the wrought-iron seed against her nearly-black gem.
It was like stones being rolled off her chest, like trying to walk underwater and suddenly being transported into the open air. It was orgasmic; it was transcendent. Still in her dirty raincoat, Sayaka curled up in the fetal position and sobbed.
***
With the door closed behind her, the lingering tightness in Madoka's chest dissipated.
She thought vaguely that Sayaka had run for the bathroom, and shrugged off her coat onto the rack by the door before exploring in the other direction, anxious to get a feel for this new enclosed space that was still so startlingly wide. They had come into a nice sitting room, sparsely furnished but easy on the eye, with with tall windows all down one wall and a striking wedge-shaped table.
One end of the apartment was a kitchen, fully furnished and almost spotless; a few dishes were piled in the sink and there was a smear of some kind of sauce on the counter, but it was nothing like the mold-infested cesspool Homura's had been. An electric kettle next to the sink had been unplugged...and a cell phone plugged in.
Madoka was staring at the phone like an alien object when she heard the first cry.
She found Sayaka in the room on the far side of the unit, knees to her chest, hugging her gold-encased Soul Gem and something darker. "Sayaka!" exclaimed Madoka, running to the bed. "What's wrong? What can I do?"
"Fine," choked Sayaka, rubbing her eyes with the corner of a pillow. "T-tissues? I swear, I'm fine...."
Madoka didn't know whether to believe it, but she scanned the room anyway. It was a elegant girl's bedroom, sparse as the living room but with a mature feeling nonetheless. A few pieces of white-painted wooden furniture with yellow and orange accents stood alone in the space, tied together by a pretty flower motif in the handles on drawers, the print on the curtains, the designs on the pillows. No tissues, almost no items at all except a cup full of pens and a handful of picture frames.
"Hold on," she said, and ran for the final door.
It was another Western-style bathroom, done up with the kind of decorative soap dispensers Madoka thought only adults were interested in. Mami really must be an elegant, adult type of senpai, then...Ah! Tissues, in a pretty orange box.
Grabbing the whole thing, Madoka carried it to Sayaka, who went through three at a time.
When she tried to sit with Sayaka, she reflexively moved to avoid the blood stains on the side of the mattress before remembering that there weren't any.
***
At last the tears receded. Sayaka dropped the last entry onto the pile of crumpled tissues on Mami's end table and set, somewhat sheepishly, to getting out of the raincoat.
"I'm better," she said to Madoka, who had waited by her side this whole time. She thought it might be from the agoraphobia, and her heart swelled with protectiveness; but even if it was loyalty and care, Sayaka was past being bitter at herself for needing it. For now, at least. "I...I didn't realize how bad it was. Even when I tried to remember what normal felt like, all I was remembering was less-bad...."
She put the half-full grief seed gingerly on the table and showed Madoka the brilliant blue gem, struggling against a sudden fit of shyness.
"I was...pretty awful to you, wasn't I? You didn't even do anything."
Madoka faltered, then allowed a shy smile of her own. "I knew you didn't mean it."
Sayaka swallowed. While the gut-wrenching self-loathing had pulled its claws out of her, she couldn't honestly deny that the potential for its return was ever-present, like a shadow glimpsed from the corner of her eye. Ignore it, said her instincts. Disown it. No admissions, no Don't mention anything that might risk letting it back in.
It was only because Madoka was with her, and nobody else, that she said in a rush. "I'm glad he didn't die."
"I know," said Madoka gently. And then, in a move that sealed Sayaka's love for her forever, she changed the subject. "Can I touch it?"
Her slim hand hovered close to the Soul Gem's shining surface. Sayaka shrugged. "It's pretty, but it just feels like a stone. Go ahead."
The tips of Madoka's fingers skimmed along the curved stone.
And, oh. Maybe it felt like rock to Madoka, but to Sayaka it felt like a caress sweeping directly over her skin. Like Madoka's gentle cuddling, the soothing massage for her taut muscles. Within a few seconds a new sensation bubbled up under the first wave, like those touches, the ones that made her skin burn and her pulse throb between—
Madoka threw her arms around Sayaka's shoulders, and the spell was broken. (If she noticed the lingering flush on Sayaka's skin, she didn't comment.) "I'm so glad you're okay! I'm so happy, Sayaka. And now...Mami-san left her phone in the kitchen." She shivered with emotion. "Once she gets home from school, we can call our parents."
Sayaka squeezed her thighs together and tried to focus on petting Madoka's hair. "Why aren't we calling them now? I'm sure Mami-san wouldn't mind, not for this."
"Too much we don't know. Homura knows what the inside of my house looks like, did I tell you that? She's had it watched, she might have the phones bugged...if she finds out where we are and gets here when it's just us...." She tensed. "I'm sorry, Sayaka, I know you want to be strong and protect me, but you can't do it alone."
"Yeah, I know," said Sayaka, patting her on the back to show there were no hard feelings. "Even if I were twice as tough as Akemi, I'm still not a team. And we need a team, right? That's how the heroes always win in the anime."
"Right," breathed Madoka, relaxing. "As long as I don't have to be the mundane best friend who gets written off after the first season because the team is more interesting."
"Never," declared Sayaka. What kind of idiot could lose interest in her beloved Madoka? "I'm going to love you forever and ever. Until cancellation and beyond!"
Madoka giggled, then pulled back and tipped her head to brush their lips together.
Sayaka returned the kiss in earnest, cupping the back of Madoka's head to hold herself steady and pulling sweetly at Madoka's mouth with her own. She was in love, they were free, and everything was going to be okay.
***
In the kitchen, with only small windows instead of floor-to-ceiling ones, Madoka closed the shades on a darkening grey night and made herself and Sayaka some tea.
They were trading turns on Mami's phone to browse the Internet, sharing what they found. The news about their own names was grim: no leads, somber police officers, quotes from their parents that Madoka could hardly bring herself to read.
Almost there, Mama. We're almost ready to tell you we're safe. Just hang on a little longer.
Sayaka looked up a couple of baseball scores, then found a photo of Mami in an article from a few years earlier, about a prizewinning middle school dance competition. At last Madoka had a face to put to the name: a kind-eyed girl with blonde twintails in gentle curls. If there were more recent pictures on the phone itself, both she and Sayaka had the honor not to go snooping.
As Madoka was looking up plot spoilers for an anime she had been following up until last month, the front door rattled.
She froze, pinned by the complicated, hopeful, dependent uncertainty that Homura's footsteps always evoked. From the way Sayaka's eyes had snapped to her, she knew her friend...girlfriend...was feeling something similar. Harrowing crowd experience on the metro notwithstanding, they were too well-conditioned to the notion that when a door opened, there was only one person who might walk through.
Then they both snapped out of it, and leaped to their feet.
Madoka was the first one to skid to a stop. The newfound fear of strangers had seized her again, making her heart race and her muscles lock. Besides, Sayaka had to take a couple more steps to leap in front of her.
The visitor was a girl about their age, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail, one hand clutching a half-eaten fish pastry. Her scuffed boots and shabby denim were clearly not a puella magi uniform, but a silver ring on the other hand glinted as she produced a red and gold spear. "Who are you an' what are you doing here?" she demanded.
Sayaka flung out her own Soul Gem hand and materialized a sword, flashing with blue light. "I could say the same of you!" she shot back. "We're here to see Tomoe Mami. It's none of your business why."
The stranger relaxed with an unfriendly smirk. "Good luck with that," she said. "Tomoe Mami died last week, so you're gonna be in for a long wait."
Characters/Pairings: Madoka/Sayaka, Kyuubei, (skip) original characters, Kyoko
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer/Warnings: See table of contents.
A wild Kyuubei appears! Sayaka got a SOUL GEM! Sayaka uses Transform! It's super effective!
***
April 18
(Continued)
It's easiest to act when you're playing something close to the truth, remembered Sayaka, sinking to her knees and catching her long-neglected Soul Gem in her hand. She was furious at Kyuubei, and couldn't even be sure of the true extent of his betrayal, but in that moment she was relieved beyond all reason.
—Didn't Mami tell you not to lose track of this?— chided Kyuubei. —It's the sign of all your power, you know.—
"We'll talk about it later!" said Sayaka, blinking back happy tears. The jewel was in its egg-shaped form, gold setting encasing a deep blue surface spotted and splotched with black. She was down to less than a fifth of her power, but it was enough for what she had to do. "Madoka — watch me, watch me!"
And she was enveloped in blue light, swimming in it, her heart dancing.
Madoka stared in awe as the boots of the puella magi Sayaka hit the ground. A pure-white cape swirled out from her shoulders, fastened at her throat with a collar embossed in gold thread; the pleats of a rich blue skirt with white trim fluttered on her hips, held in place by a belt with a gold buckle. She wore a knight's breastplate, gauntlets, and greaves, all in blue with gold edges, while her arms and legs were clad in skintight navy leather that protected her skin while hugging her athletic curves. Lacy frills, diamond buttons, and her Soul Gem completed the ensemble: the gem itself in the shape of a darkness-spattered blue shield, locked in a gold setting over her heart.
"Sayaka," breathed Madoka. "It's amazing!"
Grinning, Sayaka drew a sword from the air. The blade gleamed silver; the gold and blue hilt fit snugly in her gloved hand, gold tassels spilling over her wrist. It felt like she could take on a dozen Akemis with this, or a hundred witches. It felt like she could do anything.
So she dropped to her knees and leaned forward on the blade, its point biting into the stone floor like sod. "What would you have me do, my lady?"
"Your leg. Do you have enough power to heal it? Be completely honest."
Sayaka palmed her Soul Gem. "I won't be strong enough to fight a witch afterward...but I can."
"Good. Do it." Madoka clapped her hands together. "Kyuubei! Is Akemi Homura still out of range?"
—She is currently engaged in a battle with a witch, in an area out of visual and auditory range of this building,— confirmed Kyuubei.
"Good." Madoka made a darting motion toward the stairs, then hopped back and grabbed the stuffed panda from the pile of plushies. Tucking him under one arm, she pointed with the other. "Sayaka! The door."
***
Three silver slashes, and the heavy metal door that had been the end of Madoka's world for almost a month shattered and was kicked out of the way like so much stage glass.
"We'll need money," ordered Madoka. "And hats, hoods, something like that. And find me some shoes!"
In a quick circle of the first level Sayaka found Madoka's own pair of loafers, a stash of thousand-yen bills, and a couple of hooded raincoats in black and dull brown. "The phone isn't here," she announced.
"We'll make do." Madoka stuffed Panda-san in the inner pocket of her oversized raincoat. "What about...however you clean your Soul Gem?"
"Grief Seeds," said Sayaka. "None here. Akemi must have all of hers on her."
—This is a most irregular conflict you have gotten yourselves into,— observed Kyuubei.
"Not now," Madoka snapped at him. "Sayaka, what's the safest path to a train station?"
"The safest path to anywhere off this block is narrow," said Sayaka, leaning against the back door. Outside was grey, a rainstorm either about to break or having just passed. "Akemi has traps. You have to follow me exactly, okay?"
Madoka took her outstretched hand. "I promise."
***
And then they were out.
***
The street was full of puddles. Sayaka's sturdy boots barely noticed, but Madoka's loafers must have soaked through.
They jogged the first block, until Madoka was gasping for breath and tripping over nothing. Sayaka herself was starting to feel the burn of needing to use magic to keep the pace up, so she slowed to a walk and put her arm around Madoka's waist. "The train station is in five blocks. Can you make it?"
"If we walk," panted Madoka. "Let's walk. Will people notice Kyuubei...?"
—Normal people with no potential cannot see me,— said Kyuubei, who had been trotting easily behind them at any pace. —You will not be conspicuous.—
Sayaka had to grit her teeth to keep from yelling at the little rat. Madoka hadn't given her permission, so she wouldn't start in on him, but oh, how she wanted to. Normal people also won't hear if we use telepathy, because it involves using Kyuubei as a relay.
Thank you, thought Madoka, and squeezed her arm. You didn't mention that before, Incubator.
—The opportunity never came up,— replied Kyuubei.
Sayaka bit her tongue. Don't say it, don't say it....
Is that also why you never told Sayaka that magical girls turn into witches? asked Madoka. Physically she was still breathing hard; mentally she had a scary sort of calm.
—Yes.—
Sayaka tensed, and Madoka seemed startled herself. You admit it? Just like that?
—It was never a secret,— said Kyuubei, as blandly as if he were letting them know the weather. —You could have asked at any time.—
You didn't think we might want to know? burst out Sayaka. That the things we're fighting are—are—! She cut off as Madoka gave her a sharp jab in the ribs.
—Witches and their familiars are a cause of grief, despair, and even death among other humans, a problem which every female adolescent I have contracted with seeks to avoid. As long as they are told to clean their Soul Gems, what purpose would it serve to know the reason? Many die before it even becomes an issue.—
The houses were giving way to taller buildings, convenience stores and restaurants filling the areas at street level. There were even people, strangers, bundled up in raincoats or at least with umbrellas at the ready.
But the reason witches exist is because you introduced puella magi here in the first place, pointed out Madoka. Why? What possible reason could you have for doing something like that?
Kyuubei told them.
Sayaka felt sicker and more dismal with every word. He explained in the simplest of terms about the end of the universe, the way magic was rigged to run on the pain of teenage girls, how humans in the eyes of his species were worth as much as cows or pigs. All with the same sociopathic false cheer he had used when making her the original offer she couldn't refuse.
How much of this does Mami know? thought Madoka, as they approached the glass-and-metal awning that covered the train stop's benches. A couple of ticket-selling machines sat dripping outside the gates.
—She never asked about any of it, and I never told her.—
A wave of relief broke through Sayaka's generally miserable mood. Her senpai hadn't known.
Then, Incubator, I know all I need to know, thought Madoka. Go away.
—Excuse me?—
You heard me. Shoo. Get out of my sight! If your deceitful presence is still within reach in thirty seconds, I'll have Sayaka here slice your head clean off your body.
—I will never understand humans,— said Kyuubei, and trotted away, fluffy tail swishing behind him.
***
They had just gotten under the platform when it started to rain again.
"I think I need to detransform," said Sayaka, in a voice so low Madoka almost missed it. "Is that okay?"
"What? Of course! Yes, do that right away," stammered Madoka, distracted. Her feet squished in her wet socks, and why hadn't she brought some of the food? "Oh...your feet, are they going to be all right?"
Only Sayaka's ordinary socks now stuck out from under the black raincoat. "I think so," she said, clutching the egg-shaped gem in one hand and touching the other to each foot. The socks glowed and bulged under her fingertips, then morphed into navy leather boots with sapphire-studded silver buckles. "This kind of change...it's easier than being in battle mode. Costs almost nothing."
"That's good," said Madoka, and winced as her stomach growled. "Sorry...."
Sayaka offered her a weak smile. "Don't worry. Just wait until we get to Mami's house. We'll be safe there — she'll probably have Grief Seeds — she can help us call our parents — and best of all? She bakes."
***
It was pouring in earnest when the metro arrived.
Because of the weather, the cab was packed. Sayaka and Madoka squeezed into the mass of people, hoods up, arms linked. Madoka started breathing hard again and had to be pulled in by Sayaka, though they hadn't been running at all.
"Are you okay?" murmured Sayaka as the metro rumbled forward.
"S-so many people," gasped Madoka. There was a tall man in a puffy jacket right behind her, and a businesswoman holding the strap to her right while playing a game on her cell phone, and a young woman grabbing on to her boyfriend instead of a strap or pole who kept bumping into Sayaka, and a couple of fussing children two seats down, and.... "I don't know these people. Sayaka, I don't know them."
Sayaka was torn between comforting her and yelling at her. It had to be some kind of trauma, nothing to do with Sayaka, but still! What did she want, an escape route that felt exactly like the place they were escaping from? "Wasn't that the point?" she demanded. "Would you rather be back with Akemi? At least you know her, right?"
"That isn't what I meant!" said Madoka weakly. "Sayaka, please...."
It took all Sayaka's strength in that moment to give her a one-armed hug rather than snapping again. Almost there. It's only forty minutes to Mami's stop. You'll get a Grief Seed soon. "Just think about me. And Panda-san," she huffed. "You know us."
(Although what did Madoka need a gift from Akemi for, anyway? What kind of comfort was that supposed to be? Didn't she know how inadequate it made Sayaka feel? Didn't she appreciate...?)
"Talk to me about something else," she said, panting a little herself now. "Anything else."
Madoka closed her eyes and turned her head against Sayaka's chest. "The first thing I want to bake is red velvet cake with buttercream frosting and chocolate chips," she said. "The next thing I want to bake is breaded fish patties. The third thing I want to bake...I think bread, with red bean paste inside. The fourth...."
***
Madoka listed foods until she couldn't think of any more, then went over her favorite stuffed animals back home, then summarized the plot of the last movie she had seen.
It helped, a little, with ignoring the chaotic press of people people people. She kept wanting to look at the clock, but of course it wasn't there. She would move to put on some soothing music, and remember that she couldn't. There was no fresh water on hand, nothing to eat. All she had was a stuffed panda, wet feet, and a Sayaka whose brief resurgence of happiness hadn't stuck.
"This is our stop," muttered Sayaka at last.
WIth a dozen other people they exploded out onto the platform. Madoka held Sayaka's hand and squished down the stairs behind her, the faintness dissipating as the crowd dispersed.
"I don't know where we are," she whispered as they passed a line of waiting buses and a handful of convenience stores and pastry shops targeting busy passengers. The downpour here had tapered off to a light rain, still enough to obscure the skyline. "I don't know this place at all."
Sayaka hissed through her teeth. "When we were inside you could have looked at the station map."
"I know. I'm sorry." Madoka tried to pull herself together. Sayaka had been happy to follow her lead when she seemed like she knew what she was doing. "How far is Mami's place from here?"
"Not quite as far as that house was from the last station. Across the bridge."
A walk she could make, if she had to. But she didn't like it. "Can you find a vending machine first? Something with food?"
The stores would be fresher, but the machines were less likely to recognize them from photos on the news. They had more than enough cash left for sweet buns and a couple of cheap sodas. Madoka drank half of hers in one go, and munched on the bun as they walked across the commuter bridge, not caring that the drizzle got it soggy.
As they passed the third or fourth identical apartment complex, Sayaka steered Madoka into the parking lot.
"We're here."
***
Nobody answered her knock, so Sayaka used the barest fraction of her power to transmogrify Mami's lock into not-a-lock, letting it slide back to its ordinary form as soon as they were inside.
While Madoka closed the door, Sayaka all but sprinted away from her. No time to explain. There was a Grief Seed in Mami's room — no, two! — and one of them nearly empty, thank all that was good in this world.
Sayaka yanked open the relevant desk drawer without once looking at anything else, collapsed onto Mami's white sheets, and cupped the wrought-iron seed against her nearly-black gem.
It was like stones being rolled off her chest, like trying to walk underwater and suddenly being transported into the open air. It was orgasmic; it was transcendent. Still in her dirty raincoat, Sayaka curled up in the fetal position and sobbed.
***
With the door closed behind her, the lingering tightness in Madoka's chest dissipated.
She thought vaguely that Sayaka had run for the bathroom, and shrugged off her coat onto the rack by the door before exploring in the other direction, anxious to get a feel for this new enclosed space that was still so startlingly wide. They had come into a nice sitting room, sparsely furnished but easy on the eye, with with tall windows all down one wall and a striking wedge-shaped table.
One end of the apartment was a kitchen, fully furnished and almost spotless; a few dishes were piled in the sink and there was a smear of some kind of sauce on the counter, but it was nothing like the mold-infested cesspool Homura's had been. An electric kettle next to the sink had been unplugged...and a cell phone plugged in.
Madoka was staring at the phone like an alien object when she heard the first cry.
She found Sayaka in the room on the far side of the unit, knees to her chest, hugging her gold-encased Soul Gem and something darker. "Sayaka!" exclaimed Madoka, running to the bed. "What's wrong? What can I do?"
"Fine," choked Sayaka, rubbing her eyes with the corner of a pillow. "T-tissues? I swear, I'm fine...."
Madoka didn't know whether to believe it, but she scanned the room anyway. It was a elegant girl's bedroom, sparse as the living room but with a mature feeling nonetheless. A few pieces of white-painted wooden furniture with yellow and orange accents stood alone in the space, tied together by a pretty flower motif in the handles on drawers, the print on the curtains, the designs on the pillows. No tissues, almost no items at all except a cup full of pens and a handful of picture frames.
"Hold on," she said, and ran for the final door.
It was another Western-style bathroom, done up with the kind of decorative soap dispensers Madoka thought only adults were interested in. Mami really must be an elegant, adult type of senpai, then...Ah! Tissues, in a pretty orange box.
Grabbing the whole thing, Madoka carried it to Sayaka, who went through three at a time.
When she tried to sit with Sayaka, she reflexively moved to avoid the blood stains on the side of the mattress before remembering that there weren't any.
***
At last the tears receded. Sayaka dropped the last entry onto the pile of crumpled tissues on Mami's end table and set, somewhat sheepishly, to getting out of the raincoat.
"I'm better," she said to Madoka, who had waited by her side this whole time. She thought it might be from the agoraphobia, and her heart swelled with protectiveness; but even if it was loyalty and care, Sayaka was past being bitter at herself for needing it. For now, at least. "I...I didn't realize how bad it was. Even when I tried to remember what normal felt like, all I was remembering was less-bad...."
She put the half-full grief seed gingerly on the table and showed Madoka the brilliant blue gem, struggling against a sudden fit of shyness.
"I was...pretty awful to you, wasn't I? You didn't even do anything."
Madoka faltered, then allowed a shy smile of her own. "I knew you didn't mean it."
Sayaka swallowed. While the gut-wrenching self-loathing had pulled its claws out of her, she couldn't honestly deny that the potential for its return was ever-present, like a shadow glimpsed from the corner of her eye. Ignore it, said her instincts. Disown it. No admissions, no Don't mention anything that might risk letting it back in.
It was only because Madoka was with her, and nobody else, that she said in a rush. "I'm glad he didn't die."
"I know," said Madoka gently. And then, in a move that sealed Sayaka's love for her forever, she changed the subject. "Can I touch it?"
Her slim hand hovered close to the Soul Gem's shining surface. Sayaka shrugged. "It's pretty, but it just feels like a stone. Go ahead."
The tips of Madoka's fingers skimmed along the curved stone.
And, oh. Maybe it felt like rock to Madoka, but to Sayaka it felt like a caress sweeping directly over her skin. Like Madoka's gentle cuddling, the soothing massage for her taut muscles. Within a few seconds a new sensation bubbled up under the first wave, like those touches, the ones that made her skin burn and her pulse throb between—
Madoka threw her arms around Sayaka's shoulders, and the spell was broken. (If she noticed the lingering flush on Sayaka's skin, she didn't comment.) "I'm so glad you're okay! I'm so happy, Sayaka. And now...Mami-san left her phone in the kitchen." She shivered with emotion. "Once she gets home from school, we can call our parents."
Sayaka squeezed her thighs together and tried to focus on petting Madoka's hair. "Why aren't we calling them now? I'm sure Mami-san wouldn't mind, not for this."
"Too much we don't know. Homura knows what the inside of my house looks like, did I tell you that? She's had it watched, she might have the phones bugged...if she finds out where we are and gets here when it's just us...." She tensed. "I'm sorry, Sayaka, I know you want to be strong and protect me, but you can't do it alone."
"Yeah, I know," said Sayaka, patting her on the back to show there were no hard feelings. "Even if I were twice as tough as Akemi, I'm still not a team. And we need a team, right? That's how the heroes always win in the anime."
"Right," breathed Madoka, relaxing. "As long as I don't have to be the mundane best friend who gets written off after the first season because the team is more interesting."
"Never," declared Sayaka. What kind of idiot could lose interest in her beloved Madoka? "I'm going to love you forever and ever. Until cancellation and beyond!"
Madoka giggled, then pulled back and tipped her head to brush their lips together.
Sayaka returned the kiss in earnest, cupping the back of Madoka's head to hold herself steady and pulling sweetly at Madoka's mouth with her own. She was in love, they were free, and everything was going to be okay.
***
In the kitchen, with only small windows instead of floor-to-ceiling ones, Madoka closed the shades on a darkening grey night and made herself and Sayaka some tea.
They were trading turns on Mami's phone to browse the Internet, sharing what they found. The news about their own names was grim: no leads, somber police officers, quotes from their parents that Madoka could hardly bring herself to read.
Almost there, Mama. We're almost ready to tell you we're safe. Just hang on a little longer.
Sayaka looked up a couple of baseball scores, then found a photo of Mami in an article from a few years earlier, about a prizewinning middle school dance competition. At last Madoka had a face to put to the name: a kind-eyed girl with blonde twintails in gentle curls. If there were more recent pictures on the phone itself, both she and Sayaka had the honor not to go snooping.
As Madoka was looking up plot spoilers for an anime she had been following up until last month, the front door rattled.
She froze, pinned by the complicated, hopeful, dependent uncertainty that Homura's footsteps always evoked. From the way Sayaka's eyes had snapped to her, she knew her friend...girlfriend...was feeling something similar. Harrowing crowd experience on the metro notwithstanding, they were too well-conditioned to the notion that when a door opened, there was only one person who might walk through.
Then they both snapped out of it, and leaped to their feet.
Madoka was the first one to skid to a stop. The newfound fear of strangers had seized her again, making her heart race and her muscles lock. Besides, Sayaka had to take a couple more steps to leap in front of her.
The visitor was a girl about their age, her hair tied up in a messy ponytail, one hand clutching a half-eaten fish pastry. Her scuffed boots and shabby denim were clearly not a puella magi uniform, but a silver ring on the other hand glinted as she produced a red and gold spear. "Who are you an' what are you doing here?" she demanded.
Sayaka flung out her own Soul Gem hand and materialized a sword, flashing with blue light. "I could say the same of you!" she shot back. "We're here to see Tomoe Mami. It's none of your business why."
The stranger relaxed with an unfriendly smirk. "Good luck with that," she said. "Tomoe Mami died last week, so you're gonna be in for a long wait."