Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2008-06-16 12:03 pm
ptahrrific) wrote2008-06-16 12:03 pm
Fake News: Drawing the Line, episode 1.07
Title: Drawing the Line, episode 1.07: Enjoy The Ride
Rating: TV-14
Series: TDS/TCR; Harvey Birdman; the Ambiguously Gay Duo; Strangers With Candy; American Dad; Tom Thumb and Thumbelina
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons and places, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. The animated characters are copyright various studios, none of which are mine.
In which our heroes crash a whole bunch of former secret supervillain bases, to the agitation of their current owners (not to mention Stephen). Meanwhile, Jon plans a daring escape with gratuitous Hitchhiker's Guide references and an Amy Sedaris cameo (as if this series weren't confusing enough).
Godfrey the mole (Jon) is from Tom Thumb and Thumbelina; Jimmy's Grandpa (Stephen) is from that time TDS did a Schoolhouse Rock parody; Dr. Dandliker the dentist (Stephen) is from American Dad; and I hope I don't have to tell you who's who in the animated SWC opening.
Table of contents .
Drawing the Line
Episode 7
Enjoy The Ride
—
As Reducto prepared the cupcakes, Jon studied him carefully.
It wasn't clear whether the little green man was actually insane, or just very selective about the reality he chose to accept. Insanity would probably make Jon's job easier. If his captor was completely aware of everything and deliberately ignoring most of it, then all of this was riding on Jon's acting skills, which was a dangerous place to put anything.
When at last Reducto shrunk a finished cupcake and offered it up for approval, Jon took one bite, then made a face. "Eugh!"
"What is it? What's the matter? Is something wrong?"
Putting on his best Arthur Dent voice, Jon flung the offending pastry away. "Listen, you stupid man, it tastes filthy! Take this cupcake back!"
The look on Reducto's face was so heartbroken that Jon nearly confessed the whole thing. Somehow he managed to hold firm as the other man stammered, "But—but I made them just for you—I thought you liked—I—"
"I like cupcakes," confirmed Jon sternly. "But not just any cupcakes. I only like the ones made by Amy Sedaris."
"I can simulate them," stammered Reducto. "The matter converter can—"
"No! They have to be Amy's. No others. Or I won't be happy. You do want me to be happy, don't you?"
Reducto sighed, defeated. "Where do I get them?"
"Dusty Food Cupcakes," said Jon triumphantly. "Ask for the Jon Stewart Special."
—
—
Once he was well and truly alone in the secret base, Jon scurried around the house, stripping the beds. Probably should have done this beforehand, he admonished himself. You're wasting time.
Cut me some slack, he countered. I've never had to execute a daring escape before.
This was a lot harder than it looked in the movies. Sheets weren't actually designed to be tied together. And when he finally started easing the makeshift rope out the window, it reached the table, but not the floor below.
Not that you know how to get out of this room once you reach the floor. Geez, Jon, you really didn't think this one through, did you?
Doing his best to ignore his cheery internal voice, Jon grabbed two fistfuls of cloth and eased his way through the window frame.
—
—
"The Jon Stewart Special, please," said the very small man in the trenchcoat and broad-brimmed hat.
"Sorry, the what?" asked Amy. "Dusty, careful, not the sprinkles!"
"Your cupcakes," replied the man irritably. "Your delicious miniature pastries. You do sell delicious miniature pastries, do you not?"
"That we do."
"Well, I would like to purchase some. Specifically, that subset which are known as 'the Jon Stewart special'."
"We do sell cupcakes, sir, but I'm afraid I haven't invented a Jon Stewart Special yet," said a very puzzled Amy.
The customer went very quiet.
"If I could interest you in something else? Maybe . . ."
"No, no, that will be all!" squeaked the man. "Thank you for your time, dear tiny lady. I really must be going now."
—
—
Reducto raced back to the secret base in a panic.
How could he have been so stupid, falling for such a ruse and leaving his brilliant little charge alone? His only consolation was that Jon was too small to reach the phone.
Sure enough, when he burst into the base, there was a little chain of handkerchief-sized sheets hanging down from one window of the house that had been specially shrunk just for Jon. Reducto felt his heart sink.
And then it rose again as Reducto spotted the beautifully tiny man himself, lying flat on his back almost directly below the rope of fabric.
"Hi," said Jon sheepishly. "You got any itty-bitty painkillers? I think I might've thrown out my back."
—
As he pulled the DuoCar gently out of the hole in the back of Flatpoint High (which, if you think about it, makes a lot more sense as a former supervillain secret base), Ace rolled down his window. "Mr. Birdman? I'm afraid the computer isn't showing us another destination!"
"What does that mean, Ace?" exclaimed Gary. "Is it broken? Do we need to have it fixed?"
"Nothing's going to get fixed, Gary," replied Ace gently. "I think it just means we've visited all of Reducto's secret bases. We've thrust the DuoCar into every private place he might have had."
"And we didn't get lucky in any of them!" lamented Gary.
"Oh no!" cried Birdgirl. "The fiend has avoided returning to the scenes of his old crimes! He must be far more clever than we anticipated! How will we ever find our lost client now?"
"Yes, thank you for the recap, Birdgirl," said Harvey absently. "Let's see . . . if I were a shrinkage-obsessed supervillain-turned-lawyer-turned-supervillain-again, where would I go?"
"I have an idea!" chimed in Gary. "Let's go to the Fortress of Privacy!"
"Brilliant, friend of friends!" enthused Ace.
"Of course!" cried Harvey. "The powerful computers at your secret fortress will be able to come up with much better possibilities than we would on our own!"
". . . that too!" said Gary.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" demanded Stephen, slapping the DuoCar's hull. "Let's get this thing up!"
Ace frowned at Birdman and Birdgirl, who were openly gaping. "Now what are you looking at?"
Rating: TV-14
Series: TDS/TCR; Harvey Birdman; the Ambiguously Gay Duo; Strangers With Candy; American Dad; Tom Thumb and Thumbelina
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons and places, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. The animated characters are copyright various studios, none of which are mine.
In which our heroes crash a whole bunch of former secret supervillain bases, to the agitation of their current owners (not to mention Stephen). Meanwhile, Jon plans a daring escape with gratuitous Hitchhiker's Guide references and an Amy Sedaris cameo (as if this series weren't confusing enough).
Godfrey the mole (Jon) is from Tom Thumb and Thumbelina; Jimmy's Grandpa (Stephen) is from that time TDS did a Schoolhouse Rock parody; Dr. Dandliker the dentist (Stephen) is from American Dad; and I hope I don't have to tell you who's who in the animated SWC opening.
Table of contents .
Drawing the Line
Episode 7
Enjoy The Ride
—
As Reducto prepared the cupcakes, Jon studied him carefully.
It wasn't clear whether the little green man was actually insane, or just very selective about the reality he chose to accept. Insanity would probably make Jon's job easier. If his captor was completely aware of everything and deliberately ignoring most of it, then all of this was riding on Jon's acting skills, which was a dangerous place to put anything.
When at last Reducto shrunk a finished cupcake and offered it up for approval, Jon took one bite, then made a face. "Eugh!"
"What is it? What's the matter? Is something wrong?"
Putting on his best Arthur Dent voice, Jon flung the offending pastry away. "Listen, you stupid man, it tastes filthy! Take this cupcake back!"
The look on Reducto's face was so heartbroken that Jon nearly confessed the whole thing. Somehow he managed to hold firm as the other man stammered, "But—but I made them just for you—I thought you liked—I—"
"I like cupcakes," confirmed Jon sternly. "But not just any cupcakes. I only like the ones made by Amy Sedaris."
"I can simulate them," stammered Reducto. "The matter converter can—"
"No! They have to be Amy's. No others. Or I won't be happy. You do want me to be happy, don't you?"
Reducto sighed, defeated. "Where do I get them?"
"Dusty Food Cupcakes," said Jon triumphantly. "Ask for the Jon Stewart Special."
—
—
Once he was well and truly alone in the secret base, Jon scurried around the house, stripping the beds. Probably should have done this beforehand, he admonished himself. You're wasting time.
Cut me some slack, he countered. I've never had to execute a daring escape before.
This was a lot harder than it looked in the movies. Sheets weren't actually designed to be tied together. And when he finally started easing the makeshift rope out the window, it reached the table, but not the floor below.
Not that you know how to get out of this room once you reach the floor. Geez, Jon, you really didn't think this one through, did you?
Doing his best to ignore his cheery internal voice, Jon grabbed two fistfuls of cloth and eased his way through the window frame.
—
—
"The Jon Stewart Special, please," said the very small man in the trenchcoat and broad-brimmed hat.
"Sorry, the what?" asked Amy. "Dusty, careful, not the sprinkles!"
"Your cupcakes," replied the man irritably. "Your delicious miniature pastries. You do sell delicious miniature pastries, do you not?"
"That we do."
"Well, I would like to purchase some. Specifically, that subset which are known as 'the Jon Stewart special'."
"We do sell cupcakes, sir, but I'm afraid I haven't invented a Jon Stewart Special yet," said a very puzzled Amy.
The customer went very quiet.
"If I could interest you in something else? Maybe . . ."
"No, no, that will be all!" squeaked the man. "Thank you for your time, dear tiny lady. I really must be going now."
—
—
Reducto raced back to the secret base in a panic.
How could he have been so stupid, falling for such a ruse and leaving his brilliant little charge alone? His only consolation was that Jon was too small to reach the phone.
Sure enough, when he burst into the base, there was a little chain of handkerchief-sized sheets hanging down from one window of the house that had been specially shrunk just for Jon. Reducto felt his heart sink.
And then it rose again as Reducto spotted the beautifully tiny man himself, lying flat on his back almost directly below the rope of fabric.
"Hi," said Jon sheepishly. "You got any itty-bitty painkillers? I think I might've thrown out my back."
—
As he pulled the DuoCar gently out of the hole in the back of Flatpoint High (which, if you think about it, makes a lot more sense as a former supervillain secret base), Ace rolled down his window. "Mr. Birdman? I'm afraid the computer isn't showing us another destination!"
"What does that mean, Ace?" exclaimed Gary. "Is it broken? Do we need to have it fixed?"
"Nothing's going to get fixed, Gary," replied Ace gently. "I think it just means we've visited all of Reducto's secret bases. We've thrust the DuoCar into every private place he might have had."
"And we didn't get lucky in any of them!" lamented Gary.
"Oh no!" cried Birdgirl. "The fiend has avoided returning to the scenes of his old crimes! He must be far more clever than we anticipated! How will we ever find our lost client now?"
"Yes, thank you for the recap, Birdgirl," said Harvey absently. "Let's see . . . if I were a shrinkage-obsessed supervillain-turned-lawyer-turned-supervillain-again, where would I go?"
"I have an idea!" chimed in Gary. "Let's go to the Fortress of Privacy!"
"Brilliant, friend of friends!" enthused Ace.
"Of course!" cried Harvey. "The powerful computers at your secret fortress will be able to come up with much better possibilities than we would on our own!"
". . . that too!" said Gary.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" demanded Stephen, slapping the DuoCar's hull. "Let's get this thing up!"
Ace frowned at Birdman and Birdgirl, who were openly gaping. "Now what are you looking at?"
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The Duo makes me laugh every time, you write them VERY well! Looking forward to more!
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Thank you so much!
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Jon did good. Not good enough, alas.
Thank you!
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I can't believe you managed to fit Simpsons and Hitchhiker references in here as well as everything else. It just shouldn't be possible. Win! Poor Stephen, just can't catch a break... Geoffrey is going to be VERY confused...
Did I mention that Ace and Gary are hilarious? Seriously, I would have run out of double entendres, like, a week ago.
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XD
If you want more awesome SWC crossover, check out
You would think the gay jokes and innuendos would run low at some point, but no, they just keep coming! (There went another! You see what frame of mind I have to be in . . .)
So glad you like!
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This story is hilarious...it's hard to keep up with all the characters but I think I'm doing alright. Keep it up!
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Lots of throwaway characters in this chapter; feel free to forget about those once you've read the jokes. And thank you!
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The idea of Stephen running into Geoffrey (of course in the bathroom) is hilarious.
"Hi," said Jon sheepishly. "You got any itty-bitty painkillers? I think I might've thrown out my back."
Aww, Jon :-)
Flatpoint High as a former supervillian secret base does make sense! It certainly doesn't seem like a school, with all those unusual rooms.
XD Harvey and Birdgirl seeing through all of Ace, Gary, and Stephen's unintentional innuendo wins.
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As for Flatpoint - I hadn't even thought of that! And now that you've said it, it seems only too logical . . .
So glad you like it!
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Thankies for another lovely addition to the show. ^_^;
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Glad you like it =D
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thanks for posting erin *BIG thumbs-up*
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Glad you like!
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I'm still in tears.
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And thank you!
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<333
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Too many faveourites to mention- SWC! Yay!
I loves this so very hard.
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Thank you!
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