Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2010-01-04 11:42 am
ptahrrific) wrote2010-01-04 11:42 am
Fake News: The Heart Of Rock And Roll (Is The Slashfic) [i.e., five music-based drabbles]
Title: The Heart Of Rock And Roll (Is The Slashfic)
Series: TDS/TCR
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Two.
For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.
And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.
Summary: I tried to do the music meme ("put your playlist on shuffle, start writing when the song begins, stop when it ends"), but quickly found that I couldn't resist revising. So I made the results drabbles (i.e., 100 words each) instead, just so they would have some kind of limit.
Also, these take place in an AU in which "Stephen" and Jon are both teenagers in South Carolina. And, uh, they've been sitting on my hard drive since December 2008. Eheh. (Clearly I am on some kind of out-of-season spring-cleaning kick.)
Nickelback, "Animals"
We were parked out by the tracks
We're sitting in the back
And we just started getting busy
When she whispered "what was that?"
The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are
And that was when she started screamin'
"That's my dad outside the car!"
Stephen has just gotten his learner's, and Jon has a car.
Jon insists on some actual practice, so Stephen reluctantly spends five heart-stopping minutes kicking up dust and grazing trees; and then he pulls over and they're on each other, panting with all the frenzied enthusiasm of teenage boys plus the adrenaline rush of a near-death experience.
But Stephen is still shaking long after it’s over, and then Jon sees the tears on his cheeks. “Stephen! What’s wrong?”
“God, Jon,” comes the whispered reply, “do you know what my dad would do to me if he found out about this?”
—
Lifehouse, "Somewhere In Between"
This is over my head
But underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy
Stephen makes lists.
Good: He’s sweet. He listens. He gives incredible head. Bad: He’s not Catholic. He’s male. Everything about Jon is either too good to be true, or in direct opposition to what Stephen knows to be Truth.
But after a sleepless night he comes to the unavoidable conclusion: The rules have not changed. And his thing with Jon breaks every rule he has ever learned.
He has to stop. It should be easy.
"I've made a decision," he informs Jon in a stolen moment the next day.
"Oh?”
Jon’s eyes sparkle. And somehow it isn’t easy at all.
—
Ben Folds Five, "Best Imitation Of Myself"
Do you think I should take a class
To lose my Southern accent?...
I do the best imitation of myself
The "problem with you" speech you gave me was fine
I liked the theories about my little stage
And I swore I was listening but I started drifting
(This is such a "Stephen" song.)
Jon is on one of his "you should just be yourself" kicks again. Stephen is not listening. You can be whatever you want to be. And what I want to be is the same as what everyone else wants me to be, so it all works out.
Finally he decides to shut Jon up with a kiss. And then more than a kiss.
"Stephen," gasps Jon, "you're avoiding the subject ag--ooh. Oh."
This is exactly the opposite of what Stephen wants to be (who he IS), but it's hardly his fault. Jon just brings out the worst in him.
—
Black Audio, "The Fear Of Being Found"
Head into the ground I'm found
Falling through fault lines
I feel see through
Can you see through me? [The drabble isn't terribly related, but this is where my mind went.]
The box of letters is wrapped in red ribbon. There are no names, so he can't tell which sister they belong to; but she certainly wouldn't mind him reading them, or she wouldn't have left the box in plain sight on the top shelf behind that crate of old carpet samples.
He sticks one in his pocket, takes it to school. Jon stares. Stephen waits for the laugh with breathless anticipation.
Then: “Stephen, this is, uh, really beautiful. Did you come up with it yourself, or . . .?”
Red-faced, Stephen snatches it back, stammering it isn't mine as he tears it to shreds.
—
Josh Groban, "When You Say You Love Me"
You're the one I've always thought of
I don't know how but I feel sheltered in your love...
When you say you love me the world goes still, so still inside
Stephen loves church.
At home, he isn't good enough, and doesn't know why. Here, he's still not good enough; but the Church has volumes and volumes that spell out exactly what he's doing wrong, and tell him how to fix it.
So he confesses his sins, he does the penances, then he looks up at the portrait of the Virgin outside the confessional and he’s loved, it doesn’t matter that nobody’s ever said so out loud, he knows it, he is loved!
Jon whispers those words in his ear one night. He can’t understand why that should break him down.
Series: TDS/TCR
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Two.
For the Report characters: They and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. Sue me not, please.
And for the real people, the poem:
Please, make no mistake:
these people aren't fake,
but what's said here is no more than fiction.
It only was writ
because we like their wit
and wisecracks, and pull-squints, and diction.
We don't mean to quibble,
but this can't be libel;
it's never implied to be real.
No disrespect's meant;
if you disapprove, then,
the back button's right up there. Deal.
Summary: I tried to do the music meme ("put your playlist on shuffle, start writing when the song begins, stop when it ends"), but quickly found that I couldn't resist revising. So I made the results drabbles (i.e., 100 words each) instead, just so they would have some kind of limit.
Also, these take place in an AU in which "Stephen" and Jon are both teenagers in South Carolina. And, uh, they've been sitting on my hard drive since December 2008. Eheh. (Clearly I am on some kind of out-of-season spring-cleaning kick.)
We were parked out by the tracks
We're sitting in the back
And we just started getting busy
When she whispered "what was that?"
The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are
And that was when she started screamin'
"That's my dad outside the car!"
Stephen has just gotten his learner's, and Jon has a car.
Jon insists on some actual practice, so Stephen reluctantly spends five heart-stopping minutes kicking up dust and grazing trees; and then he pulls over and they're on each other, panting with all the frenzied enthusiasm of teenage boys plus the adrenaline rush of a near-death experience.
But Stephen is still shaking long after it’s over, and then Jon sees the tears on his cheeks. “Stephen! What’s wrong?”
“God, Jon,” comes the whispered reply, “do you know what my dad would do to me if he found out about this?”
Lifehouse, "Somewhere In Between"
This is over my head
But underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy
Stephen makes lists.
Good: He’s sweet. He listens. He gives incredible head. Bad: He’s not Catholic. He’s male. Everything about Jon is either too good to be true, or in direct opposition to what Stephen knows to be Truth.
But after a sleepless night he comes to the unavoidable conclusion: The rules have not changed. And his thing with Jon breaks every rule he has ever learned.
He has to stop. It should be easy.
"I've made a decision," he informs Jon in a stolen moment the next day.
"Oh?”
Jon’s eyes sparkle. And somehow it isn’t easy at all.
Ben Folds Five, "Best Imitation Of Myself"
Do you think I should take a class
To lose my Southern accent?...
I do the best imitation of myself
The "problem with you" speech you gave me was fine
I liked the theories about my little stage
And I swore I was listening but I started drifting
(This is such a "Stephen" song.)
Jon is on one of his "you should just be yourself" kicks again. Stephen is not listening. You can be whatever you want to be. And what I want to be is the same as what everyone else wants me to be, so it all works out.
Finally he decides to shut Jon up with a kiss. And then more than a kiss.
"Stephen," gasps Jon, "you're avoiding the subject ag--ooh. Oh."
This is exactly the opposite of what Stephen wants to be (who he IS), but it's hardly his fault. Jon just brings out the worst in him.
Black Audio, "The Fear Of Being Found"
Head into the ground I'm found
Falling through fault lines
I feel see through
Can you see through me?
The box of letters is wrapped in red ribbon. There are no names, so he can't tell which sister they belong to; but she certainly wouldn't mind him reading them, or she wouldn't have left the box in plain sight on the top shelf behind that crate of old carpet samples.
He sticks one in his pocket, takes it to school. Jon stares. Stephen waits for the laugh with breathless anticipation.
Then: “Stephen, this is, uh, really beautiful. Did you come up with it yourself, or . . .?”
Red-faced, Stephen snatches it back, stammering it isn't mine as he tears it to shreds.
Josh Groban, "When You Say You Love Me"
You're the one I've always thought of
I don't know how but I feel sheltered in your love...
When you say you love me the world goes still, so still inside
Stephen loves church.
At home, he isn't good enough, and doesn't know why. Here, he's still not good enough; but the Church has volumes and volumes that spell out exactly what he's doing wrong, and tell him how to fix it.
So he confesses his sins, he does the penances, then he looks up at the portrait of the Virgin outside the confessional and he’s loved, it doesn’t matter that nobody’s ever said so out loud, he knows it, he is loved!
Jon whispers those words in his ear one night. He can’t understand why that should break him down.
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