Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2009-07-22 02:50 pm
ptahrrific) wrote2009-07-22 02:50 pm
Entry tags:
Mix - United States of Tara: Every Now And Then I Fall Apart
Medium: Television
Fandom: United States of Tara
Subject: Tara and the alters
Title: Every Now And Then I Fall Apart
Tara's a multiple. It makes her life complicated.
Spoilers for the entire first season. The second season will air next January (and you should all watch). You can find the fandom over at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
us_of_tara.
Mandy Moore | Most Of Me
(Tara and her pieces, recording themselves on video, as a first step in trying to understand.)
"Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help."
(Tara, 1x11)
I'm not ready to confront
I'd rather cement my words this way
This could be the easy road out
But I'm just not all that happy
So I'm writing all this down
And I'll file it in a drawer someday...
We don't have to decide tonight
Just wait for me patiently
And you'll get all of me
I won't hold anything back
And I won't hold anything in
Feel like I know where this is going
And I might know how it ends
But I'm still
Willing to begin
Amanda Marshall | Sunday Morning After
(Sometimes Tara's routine, scary though it can be, is downright slapstick.)
"I think I'll pass."
"So you don't want the dolphin fuckin' the unicorn on your ass either?"
(Tara and the tattooist, 1x09)
I blacked out, I came to
And it's all such a blur
Had a blast, I assume
But I'm really not sure
Exactly where am I now, baby?
Wake up and tell me your name
'Cause this is insane
Oh my God!-- I woke up with a snake tattoo
Oh my God!-- and I think that my tongue's pierced, too...
It's the Sunday morning after
And baby, who the hell are you?...
My alter ego took over and took me on a fantasy ride
You can take me anywhere twice
But the second time will be to apologize
Smokie | Living Next Door To Alice
(Alice, the fussy Stepford wife who watches over the other alters like a mother hen.)
"What do you mean, your charges? They belong to you?"
"Well, somebody has to take care of the brood. T's a flake, and Buck's a high-plains wolf, and Tara, well."
(Max Alice, 1x08)
'Cos for twenty-four years
I've been living next door to Alice...
We grew up together
Two kids in the park
We carved our initials
Deep in the bark
Me and Alice
Dick Cherwin | He's A Good Man To Have Around
(Buck, a bit rough and crude, but good company all the same.)
"He was a pretty good boobie buddy."
(Charmaine, 1x07)
He's not a stepper, can't even waltz
In conversation, he stammers and halts
Poor little sweet man with all of his faults
He's a good man to have around
Oh, sometimes I fly off the lid
"Go this minute!" I shout
But if he did
I would die without him
Metro Station | Seventeen Forever
(T, the one with the memories of the incident at boarding school, who still thinks she's young enough to get away with everything.)
"That was my night! Not Tara's. And it wasn't just your hubby, either. Fucked his buddy Mike, too!"
(T, 1x12)
"Will you remember me?"
You ask me as I leave
"Remember what I said?"
Oh, how could I
Oh, how could I forget?
We're one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight
Rolling Stones | Gimme Shelter
(Gimme, the damaged child who wraps herself in ponchos and curtains to stay safe.)
"I believe that Gimme holds all your raw emotions. It's Gimme's job to keep the truth from coming to light."
(Dr. Ocean, 1x09)
Oh, a storm is threat'ning
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away...
Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Sarah Brightman | What You Never Know
(Repressed memories - experiences cut off for Tara's protection.)
"Every shrink who's ever looked inside my skull has said there's a reason I don't know. And maybe I don't wannna know what that reason is."
(Tara, 1x09)
What you never know won't hurt you
What you never know won't lie
What you never know won't desert you
What you never know won't say goodbye
What you never know won't hurt you
What you never know won't lie
What you never know won't desert you
What you never know won't make you cry
Rob Thomas | I Am An Illusion
(The sense of unreality that comes from trying to figure out who exactly you are, anyway.)
"I know this is scary, but it's what we wanted. Not to just tolerate your parts, but to really get to know them."
(Dr. Ocean, 1x05)
I am the damage
I am the relief
Sometimes I'm people
I never hoped that I would be
If I take in whatever they turn out
What's that gonna make me now
Don't you understand
I'm not real anymore
I am an illusion
Billy Joel | State of Grace
(Max, trying desperately to hold on to his wife.)
"I'm gonna do anything I can. You are not gonna transition and leave me alone with these people!"
(Max, 1x06)
But darling there you go, slipping away into a state of grace
Granted, this world is not a perfect place
Still it's the world that I'm in
Here I am talking while you don't hear a word I say
Knowing you're watching me from far away
Somewhere that I've never been...
How can I get you to stay where you are?
Keep you for going too far?
Holding you here is so hard to do
I'm losing you
Nikki French | Total Eclipse Of The Heart
(Tara and all the alters, frantically doing whatever it takes to hang on to Max.)
"You told Tara about the new alter, she transitioned immediately. She's afraid it's too much, that there's no way you could love anything that far out....Look at Alice. She's so invested in keeping you that she made a baby - a baby that, for all intents and purposes, is you."
(Dr. Ocean, 1x08)
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart...
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
The Rasmus | In The Shadows
(Tara decides to start investigating the roots of her DID, in spite of the things it will undoubtedly uncover.)
"I want to find Trip Johanssen. If my alters won't tell me what happened, then I want to find him myself."
(Tara, 1x11)
No sleep, no sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop, won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer
Sometimes I feel I like going down and so disconnected
Somehow, I know that I am haunted to be wanted
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
Trans-Siberian Orchestra | Back To A Reason (Part II)
(Tara reaching out to her alters.)
"Once we start breaking down the walls between you and your alters, you'll be able to get out of survival mode and really start to live."
(the doctor, 1x11)
The parts of my life
I’ve tried to forget
It’s gathered each piece
And carefully kept
Somewhere in the dark
Beyond all the cold
There is a child
That’s part of my soul
Got to get back to a reason
Got to get back to a reason I once knew
Alanis Morisette | Not As We
(Integration is a scary prospect.)
"You know, it might get worse before it gets better."
(Tara, 1x12)
Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense
For now I'm faking it
'Til I'm psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as I
And not as we
Fandom: United States of Tara
Subject: Tara and the alters
Title: Every Now And Then I Fall Apart
Tara's a multiple. It makes her life complicated.
Spoilers for the entire first season. The second season will air next January (and you should all watch). You can find the fandom over at
us_of_tara.Mandy Moore | Most Of Me
(Tara and her pieces, recording themselves on video, as a first step in trying to understand.)
"Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help."
(Tara, 1x11)
I'm not ready to confront
I'd rather cement my words this way
This could be the easy road out
But I'm just not all that happy
So I'm writing all this down
And I'll file it in a drawer someday...
We don't have to decide tonight
Just wait for me patiently
And you'll get all of me
I won't hold anything back
And I won't hold anything in
Feel like I know where this is going
And I might know how it ends
But I'm still
Willing to begin
Amanda Marshall | Sunday Morning After
(Sometimes Tara's routine, scary though it can be, is downright slapstick.)
"I think I'll pass."
"So you don't want the dolphin fuckin' the unicorn on your ass either?"
(Tara and the tattooist, 1x09)
I blacked out, I came to
And it's all such a blur
Had a blast, I assume
But I'm really not sure
Exactly where am I now, baby?
Wake up and tell me your name
'Cause this is insane
Oh my God!-- I woke up with a snake tattoo
Oh my God!-- and I think that my tongue's pierced, too...
It's the Sunday morning after
And baby, who the hell are you?...
My alter ego took over and took me on a fantasy ride
You can take me anywhere twice
But the second time will be to apologize
Smokie | Living Next Door To Alice
(Alice, the fussy Stepford wife who watches over the other alters like a mother hen.)
"What do you mean, your charges? They belong to you?"
"Well, somebody has to take care of the brood. T's a flake, and Buck's a high-plains wolf, and Tara, well."
(Max Alice, 1x08)
'Cos for twenty-four years
I've been living next door to Alice...
We grew up together
Two kids in the park
We carved our initials
Deep in the bark
Me and Alice
Dick Cherwin | He's A Good Man To Have Around
(Buck, a bit rough and crude, but good company all the same.)
"He was a pretty good boobie buddy."
(Charmaine, 1x07)
He's not a stepper, can't even waltz
In conversation, he stammers and halts
Poor little sweet man with all of his faults
He's a good man to have around
Oh, sometimes I fly off the lid
"Go this minute!" I shout
But if he did
I would die without him
Metro Station | Seventeen Forever
(T, the one with the memories of the incident at boarding school, who still thinks she's young enough to get away with everything.)
"That was my night! Not Tara's. And it wasn't just your hubby, either. Fucked his buddy Mike, too!"
(T, 1x12)
"Will you remember me?"
You ask me as I leave
"Remember what I said?"
Oh, how could I
Oh, how could I forget?
We're one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight
Rolling Stones | Gimme Shelter
(Gimme, the damaged child who wraps herself in ponchos and curtains to stay safe.)
"I believe that Gimme holds all your raw emotions. It's Gimme's job to keep the truth from coming to light."
(Dr. Ocean, 1x09)
Oh, a storm is threat'ning
My very life today
If I don't get some shelter
Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away
War, children
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away...
Rape, murder!
It's just a shot away
It's just a shot away
Sarah Brightman | What You Never Know
(Repressed memories - experiences cut off for Tara's protection.)
"Every shrink who's ever looked inside my skull has said there's a reason I don't know. And maybe I don't wannna know what that reason is."
(Tara, 1x09)
What you never know won't hurt you
What you never know won't lie
What you never know won't desert you
What you never know won't say goodbye
What you never know won't hurt you
What you never know won't lie
What you never know won't desert you
What you never know won't make you cry
Rob Thomas | I Am An Illusion
(The sense of unreality that comes from trying to figure out who exactly you are, anyway.)
"I know this is scary, but it's what we wanted. Not to just tolerate your parts, but to really get to know them."
(Dr. Ocean, 1x05)
I am the damage
I am the relief
Sometimes I'm people
I never hoped that I would be
If I take in whatever they turn out
What's that gonna make me now
Don't you understand
I'm not real anymore
I am an illusion
Billy Joel | State of Grace
(Max, trying desperately to hold on to his wife.)
"I'm gonna do anything I can. You are not gonna transition and leave me alone with these people!"
(Max, 1x06)
But darling there you go, slipping away into a state of grace
Granted, this world is not a perfect place
Still it's the world that I'm in
Here I am talking while you don't hear a word I say
Knowing you're watching me from far away
Somewhere that I've never been...
How can I get you to stay where you are?
Keep you for going too far?
Holding you here is so hard to do
I'm losing you
Nikki French | Total Eclipse Of The Heart
(Tara and all the alters, frantically doing whatever it takes to hang on to Max.)
"You told Tara about the new alter, she transitioned immediately. She's afraid it's too much, that there's no way you could love anything that far out....Look at Alice. She's so invested in keeping you that she made a baby - a baby that, for all intents and purposes, is you."
(Dr. Ocean, 1x08)
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turn around, bright eyes
Every now and then I fall apart...
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
The Rasmus | In The Shadows
(Tara decides to start investigating the roots of her DID, in spite of the things it will undoubtedly uncover.)
"I want to find Trip Johanssen. If my alters won't tell me what happened, then I want to find him myself."
(Tara, 1x11)
No sleep, no sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop, won't stop before I find a cure for this cancer
Sometimes I feel I like going down and so disconnected
Somehow, I know that I am haunted to be wanted
I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life
Trans-Siberian Orchestra | Back To A Reason (Part II)
(Tara reaching out to her alters.)
"Once we start breaking down the walls between you and your alters, you'll be able to get out of survival mode and really start to live."
(the doctor, 1x11)
The parts of my life
I’ve tried to forget
It’s gathered each piece
And carefully kept
Somewhere in the dark
Beyond all the cold
There is a child
That’s part of my soul
Got to get back to a reason
Got to get back to a reason I once knew
Alanis Morisette | Not As We
(Integration is a scary prospect.)
"You know, it might get worse before it gets better."
(Tara, 1x12)
Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense
For now I'm faking it
'Til I'm psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as I
And not as we
Rebloggable on Tumblr | Listen on 8tracks