I have to start out by saying that I love your approach to writing "Stephen"; in general, I mean. Like in Expecting with the ten versus 300 million and the 'what goes around comes around' Word; you really think about what his life would be like if he were real (truly screwed up, the poor thing).
Here it's just ripping my heart out. He makes up kids to seem normal, to fit in, but people see right through it. Like "Jon" says, he isn't consistent. So there are people who don't view him with respect/fear/whatever, but who probably pity or laugh at him, and that's just sad.
And the end, my god, he thinks "Jon" has made the first move, and then the worst thing possible happens.
Thank heavens you balance out the story with a little comedy, because otherwise I might begin tearing up :-) One of the more subtle moments that had me amused was when Stephen is trying to explain the situation to "Jon" and makes a point of mentioning that he and "Stephen" have the same hair.
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Here it's just ripping my heart out. He makes up kids to seem normal, to fit in, but people see right through it. Like "Jon" says, he isn't consistent. So there are people who don't view him with respect/fear/whatever, but who probably pity or laugh at him, and that's just sad.
And the end, my god, he thinks "Jon" has made the first move, and then the worst thing possible happens.
Thank heavens you balance out the story with a little comedy, because otherwise I might begin tearing up :-) One of the more subtle moments that had me amused was when Stephen is trying to explain the situation to "Jon" and makes a point of mentioning that he and "Stephen" have the same hair.
And this is a bit long, so I'll just stop now :-)