No wonder there were viewers willing to follow him over a cliff when fully groomed.

Oh, so very, very true...

never mind that half of the fantasies that he refused to acknowledge in daylight hours began with this same man saying, in a voice that was gentle but too firm to disobey, "Lie down."

Whoa... ::brain jumps track, heads for cliff::

"Jon, am I a failure?" "Oh, Stephen. Of course not," murmured Jon. "You're a best-selling flavor of ice cream, remember?"

Awwwwww!! ::huggles Stephen and his ego-maniacal neuroses::