Cheerio, then. A short one.

"A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?"

Which clarifies that not only is my notion of sticking God on his list of father figures correct, but that, even in-character, he's aware of it.

(And, oh, it breaks my heart.)