It's also the first time Stephen and Jon are alone together. Coincidence? (Hint: No.) *snickers* I very much doubted that it was.
The balance between authorative/pushover Jon is fascinating. It doesn't correlate so easily as authorative=real Jon/pushover=comedy life Jon; it's all shaded in, and there are moments here where each one comes to the fore - I noticed that you set up again the tension between what Jon wants to do - run down the hall, go to Stephen - against what he thinks/feels he should do, or rather, what is appropriate. I like that it's not necessary to have it made explicit - that Laugh it off is an imperative to himself but not necessarily outlined as a thought (note, lack of italics/a verb to say so, do tell me if I'm misreading here). The contrast is made concrete in the last line of that segment - He kept on the nonchalant grin until the door was closed. Halfway down the hall, he broke into a run. Could have come across as heavy-handed but the grounding for it was already there, so it works.
And whilst I said up there that they don't worry about the knowing looks - it's the rest of the staff that don't worry, and continue to not worry, until Jon's reaction changes. The others exchanged knowing looks that he did not like in the least. - here, again, we're shown a sense of restraint - moves into the imperative of "Laugh it off" and then moves to that last line. Nice progression :)
I was aware of Jon's ringtone but not Stephen's number, and I have to say I'm impressed by the level of detail that made it into the fic. Intended to say so at one point and might as well do so here.
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*snickers* I very much doubted that it was.
The balance between authorative/pushover Jon is fascinating. It doesn't correlate so easily as authorative=real Jon/pushover=comedy life Jon; it's all shaded in, and there are moments here where each one comes to the fore - I noticed that you set up again the tension between what Jon wants to do - run down the hall, go to Stephen - against what he thinks/feels he should do, or rather, what is appropriate. I like that it's not necessary to have it made explicit - that Laugh it off is an imperative to himself but not necessarily outlined as a thought (note, lack of italics/a verb to say so, do tell me if I'm misreading here). The contrast is made concrete in the last line of that segment - He kept on the nonchalant grin until the door was closed. Halfway down the hall, he broke into a run. Could have come across as heavy-handed but the grounding for it was already there, so it works.
And whilst I said up there that they don't worry about the knowing looks - it's the rest of the staff that don't worry, and continue to not worry, until Jon's reaction changes. The others exchanged knowing looks that he did not like in the least. - here, again, we're shown a sense of restraint - moves into the imperative of "Laugh it off" and then moves to that last line. Nice progression :)
I was aware of Jon's ringtone but not Stephen's number, and I have to say I'm impressed by the level of detail that made it into the fic. Intended to say so at one point and might as well do so here.