In any case like this, where someone is coping with a difficult childhood in a certain way and hasn't asked for my opinion, I tend to err on the side of "assume they know what they're doing." Olivia knows more about her relationship with her mother than I do, so I assume she has her reasons. (It's the flip side of how I assume Jon had valid reasons for distancing himself for his father, because he would know better than I would.)

Kristen will definitely go all-out with the research when Olivia's interest in painplay comes up, whether Olivia realizes it's important or not =)