Jon had been shocked and amazed when Stephen excitedly pulled him into the bar. Half an hour later, he got it: Stephen wasn't freaking out because Stephen had no idea what was going on.
"You should cheer up, Jon," Stephen advised him, tossing back another hit of gingerbread margarita. "I know my handsome face is going to overshadow yours no matter what, but if you would quit scowling at anyone who flirts with me, some of these lovely ladies might turn their smoky eyes your way."
"Yeah, um, Stephen?" Jon kept his voice low enough to almost disappear under the pounding Ke$ha beat. "These aren't ladies."
"Jon! Don't be rude. Just because a woman is dressed and made up in...shall we say, a forward manner...it doesn't mean she can't be a lady."
"No, I mean -- these aren't women. Well, some of them might be," although definitely not the kind of woman born with two X chromosomes, "but I'm pretty sure most of them are dudes."
A drag queen with towering black curls and a glittery red dress chose that moment to slide into their booth next to Stephen. "Hey, sugar," she said, trailing one finger down the front of his fitted shirt. "Care to come give me a spin on the dance floor? Or off the dance floor?"
Stephen stared for a long moment at the wide, angular hand touching his chest. "No thank you!" he said loudly. "I...I'm married!"
The drag queen laughed. She had, Jon noticed with a twinge of envy, a really sexy laugh. "And you're here without her, so how's she supposed to know whether you...danced?"
"I. Um. It's not a her!" yelped Stephen. "It's him!"
Smoky eyes were turned on Jon, and he realized with a start that Stephen was pointing at him. "What?"
"I was just telling this fine...person...how happily married we are," said Stephen. "Isn't that right? Sweetie pie?"
This was ridiculous. But Stephen was wide-eyed and actually sweating, and before he knew it Jon was saying, "Yes, that's right." When Stephen fixed him with a hard stare, he added, with no conviction at all, "...snugglemuffin."
"Oh, aren't you two cute!" cooed the drag queen. "When did you two lovebirds tie the knot? Was it with everyone else in New York?"
Stephen was still freaking out expectantly in Jon's direction, so Jon, who was not equipped to make up answers for how exciting it had been to be in that crowd of happy couples, said, "No, um, more recent. Last month, actually."
At least the drag queen's squeal was girlier than his. "Congratulations!" she trilled. "I'll get the manager, I just know what she'll say -- free drinks for the newlyweds, on the house!"
Pretend Marriage (pre-Jon/"Stephen", G)
Jon had been shocked and amazed when Stephen excitedly pulled him into the bar. Half an hour later, he got it: Stephen wasn't freaking out because Stephen had no idea what was going on.
"You should cheer up, Jon," Stephen advised him, tossing back another hit of gingerbread margarita. "I know my handsome face is going to overshadow yours no matter what, but if you would quit scowling at anyone who flirts with me, some of these lovely ladies might turn their smoky eyes your way."
"Yeah, um, Stephen?" Jon kept his voice low enough to almost disappear under the pounding Ke$ha beat. "These aren't ladies."
"Jon! Don't be rude. Just because a woman is dressed and made up in...shall we say, a forward manner...it doesn't mean she can't be a lady."
"No, I mean -- these aren't women. Well, some of them might be," although definitely not the kind of woman born with two X chromosomes, "but I'm pretty sure most of them are dudes."
A drag queen with towering black curls and a glittery red dress chose that moment to slide into their booth next to Stephen. "Hey, sugar," she said, trailing one finger down the front of his fitted shirt. "Care to come give me a spin on the dance floor? Or off the dance floor?"
Stephen stared for a long moment at the wide, angular hand touching his chest. "No thank you!" he said loudly. "I...I'm married!"
The drag queen laughed. She had, Jon noticed with a twinge of envy, a really sexy laugh. "And you're here without her, so how's she supposed to know whether you...danced?"
"I. Um. It's not a her!" yelped Stephen. "It's him!"
Smoky eyes were turned on Jon, and he realized with a start that Stephen was pointing at him. "What?"
"I was just telling this fine...person...how happily married we are," said Stephen. "Isn't that right? Sweetie pie?"
This was ridiculous. But Stephen was wide-eyed and actually sweating, and before he knew it Jon was saying, "Yes, that's right." When Stephen fixed him with a hard stare, he added, with no conviction at all, "...snugglemuffin."
"Oh, aren't you two cute!" cooed the drag queen. "When did you two lovebirds tie the knot? Was it with everyone else in New York?"
Stephen was still freaking out expectantly in Jon's direction, so Jon, who was not equipped to make up answers for how exciting it had been to be in that crowd of happy couples, said, "No, um, more recent. Last month, actually."
At least the drag queen's squeal was girlier than his. "Congratulations!" she trilled. "I'll get the manager, I just know what she'll say -- free drinks for the newlyweds, on the house!"