Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2008-06-26 12:09 am
ptahrrific) wrote2008-06-26 12:09 am
Drawing the Line, episode 1.10
Title: Drawing the Line, episode 1.10: A Climax Is Reached
Rating: TV-14
Series: TDS/TCR; Harvey Birdman; the Ambiguously Gay Duo; Tek Jansen
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons and places, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. The animated characters are copyright various studios, none of which are mine.
In which a daring rescue is staged, and a climax is reached. This chapter also finishes up with some actual (if simplistic) animation, which I think makes this series officially a Multimedia Event.
One of Stephen's lines here is adapted from a Chuck Noblet quotation.
He's not kidding about the spider: Aptostichus stephencolberti.
Table of contents.
Drawing the Line
Episode 10
A Climax Is Reached
Stephen clung to the length of the DuoCar as it soared towards its final destination. He was not enjoying the ride in any way, shape, or form. Certainly it wasn't sending little shockwaves of pleasure through his body every time the vehicle bucked.
They were coming out of a bit of particularly severe turbulence when Tek Jansen soared up next to Stephen and matched his pace with that of the vehicle. Stephen tried not to faint.
"So," said Tek (THE Tek Jansen omigodomigodomigod), "you work for Jon Stewart?"
"With," corrected Stephen weakly. "I work with Jon Stewart."
"I see. So what's that like?"
"Um . . ."
Horrible.
"It's great!"
He torments me. He harasses me whenever we're together, and he haunts me whenever we're apart.
"We talk almost every morning."
When I have to put up with him undressing me with his eyes. I might just as well strip and get it over with.
"And we have lunch together at least once a week."
It gives him a perfect cover to show me the dirty, dirty things he can do with his tongue.
"And, well, he never bothers to compliment me . . ."
Except all the times he said "Hey, Stephen, good job." Or "Great show tonight, Stephen. Knocked it out of the park." And it doesn't count when he says "You look nice, Stephen," because that's an obvious come-on.
". . . but that's okay, because I know he's just jealous that my show is doing better than his."
"Oh, you have more viewers?" asked Tek.
"Um, no. Not as such."
"Awards, then? You're racking up the Emmys?"
"Well, not yet. But we got a Peabody."
"And he didn't?"
". . . if you must be technical about it, he has two."
"So you have a bigger staff? Larger studio? More—"
"No!"
"Then by what measure are you—"
"I have a species of spider named after me!" shouted Stephen. "With impressive mating claspers! Jon Stewart can't say that, can he?"
"Fair enough," replied Tek, and broke away from the DuoCar to soar ahead, leaving Stephen to silently curse Jon for ruining his chances to talk with (the one and only) Tek Jansen (omigodomigodomigod).
Still, he thought charitably, it isn't entirely Jon's fault. Anyone who didn't have a spider named after him would be jealous of me. He's only human.
And once he had boarded that train of thought, Stephen began to remember the other good times. The time Jon had said "Good morning, Stephen," without the lascivious undertone. The time he had insisted that Jon apologize for something, and Jon had given in. (Okay, times. That happened kind of a lot.) The time they had run into each other at the office late one night, and Jon had not pinned Stephen to the wall with that crystal glare of his, so that no matter how much Stephen wanted to, he couldn't run, he couldn't move, he was trapped, like some helpless woodland creature . . .
Pressing his forehead against the car's hull, Stephen choked out a sound that was definitely not a sob.
Oh, Jon, I'm sorry! I was so busy being mad over the things you did to me, I forgot to be grateful that you weren't as bad as you could have been! If we can rescue you in one piece, I'll drop the lawsuit, I'll let it all go, I promise! Just let me have you back!
—
Night was falling as they approached the old inactive volcano that Harvey had once known so well, and the headlights of the DuoCar caught two very familiar figures standing on the rim. One of them was green.
"Mentok! Phil! What are you doing here?" exclaimed Harvey as he landed.
"Waiting for you, of course!" replied Mentok. "Wouldn't miss this for the world!"
"But how did you know we would come here?" demanded Birdgirl, coming to rest beside him.
Mentok sighed the sigh of the very, very long-suffering. "Mind-taking, remember? Ooo-eee-ooo? Anyone? Anyone?"
"Speaking of taking," chimed in Phil, "looks like somebody came straight from a roll in the hay!" He nudged Birdgirl jovially with his elbow. "So who's the lucky guy?"
"That would be me," replied Tek, joining the group. The DuoCar remained above them, flying in lazy circles.
"You dog! And here I've been trying to get under that skirt for months now. Well, you win some, you lose some. I can handle it. Just as long as you never lay so much as a finger on my daughter Judy. Then I would have to get out the shotgun. Ha ha! Double standard."
"I understand, sir" said the hunter of quasars, voice dripping with space-gravitas. "And now . . . to make an entrance!" Pointing an oversized bioplasma disruptor pistol at the seal that covered the mouth of the volcano, he fired; there was an explosion, and a shower of blue sparks.
"You didn't have to do that!" coughed Harvey, waving away the swirling grey smoke. "I still have my key! We could have just walked in!"
"Oh," said Tek. "Well, the important thing is that we can get in now."
"Since I can't fly," added Phil, slinging an arm over Birdgirl's shoulders, "maybe you'd like to carry me down?"
"A little help here?" hissed Birdgirl through clenched teeth, shooting a desperate look in Harvey's direction.
With a nod, Harvey scooped up his boss. "I've got you, Phil. Bird-team, go!"
And they dove down into the volcano.
—
Jon had just been drifting off when the explosion came.
Wide awake now, he leaped out of bed and ran to the window, just in time to see a blue-and-gold blur slam Reducto across the room.
In an instant the supervillain was being assaulted by enough heroes to form their own Legion. There was Birdman; a miniature female copy of him who could only be Birdgirl; that infamous Duo, Ace and Gary; and—could it be?—Tek Jansen! (The Tek Jansen! The super-awesome spectacular ultra-spy! The one whose exciting exploits would sell millions of books!)
Sound effects flew back and forth like tennis balls. BIFF!
SOCK!
WHAP!
KA-POW!
AND SO ON!
"Hey!" yelled Jon, though he was sure it would be lost in the commotion. "Hey, I'm over here!"
"Hi there, Jon," said Mentok, appearing in front of him.
Only two days earlier Jon had thought that voice was creepy. Now, as the judge held up Reducto's shrink-gun and said "Let me just put this thing in reverse," it was the most melodic sound Jon had ever heard.
Rating: TV-14
Series: TDS/TCR; Harvey Birdman; the Ambiguously Gay Duo; Tek Jansen
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons and places, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. The animated characters are copyright various studios, none of which are mine.
In which a daring rescue is staged, and a climax is reached. This chapter also finishes up with some actual (if simplistic) animation, which I think makes this series officially a Multimedia Event.
One of Stephen's lines here is adapted from a Chuck Noblet quotation.
He's not kidding about the spider: Aptostichus stephencolberti.
Table of contents.
Drawing the Line
Episode 10
A Climax Is Reached
Stephen clung to the length of the DuoCar as it soared towards its final destination. He was not enjoying the ride in any way, shape, or form. Certainly it wasn't sending little shockwaves of pleasure through his body every time the vehicle bucked.
They were coming out of a bit of particularly severe turbulence when Tek Jansen soared up next to Stephen and matched his pace with that of the vehicle. Stephen tried not to faint.
"So," said Tek (THE Tek Jansen omigodomigodomigod), "you work for Jon Stewart?"
"With," corrected Stephen weakly. "I work with Jon Stewart."
"I see. So what's that like?"
"Um . . ."
Horrible.
"It's great!"
He torments me. He harasses me whenever we're together, and he haunts me whenever we're apart.
"We talk almost every morning."
When I have to put up with him undressing me with his eyes. I might just as well strip and get it over with.
"And we have lunch together at least once a week."
It gives him a perfect cover to show me the dirty, dirty things he can do with his tongue.
"And, well, he never bothers to compliment me . . ."
Except all the times he said "Hey, Stephen, good job." Or "Great show tonight, Stephen. Knocked it out of the park." And it doesn't count when he says "You look nice, Stephen," because that's an obvious come-on.
". . . but that's okay, because I know he's just jealous that my show is doing better than his."
"Oh, you have more viewers?" asked Tek.
"Um, no. Not as such."
"Awards, then? You're racking up the Emmys?"
"Well, not yet. But we got a Peabody."
"And he didn't?"
". . . if you must be technical about it, he has two."
"So you have a bigger staff? Larger studio? More—"
"No!"
"Then by what measure are you—"
"I have a species of spider named after me!" shouted Stephen. "With impressive mating claspers! Jon Stewart can't say that, can he?"
"Fair enough," replied Tek, and broke away from the DuoCar to soar ahead, leaving Stephen to silently curse Jon for ruining his chances to talk with (the one and only) Tek Jansen (omigodomigodomigod).
Still, he thought charitably, it isn't entirely Jon's fault. Anyone who didn't have a spider named after him would be jealous of me. He's only human.
And once he had boarded that train of thought, Stephen began to remember the other good times. The time Jon had said "Good morning, Stephen," without the lascivious undertone. The time he had insisted that Jon apologize for something, and Jon had given in. (Okay, times. That happened kind of a lot.) The time they had run into each other at the office late one night, and Jon had not pinned Stephen to the wall with that crystal glare of his, so that no matter how much Stephen wanted to, he couldn't run, he couldn't move, he was trapped, like some helpless woodland creature . . .
Pressing his forehead against the car's hull, Stephen choked out a sound that was definitely not a sob.
Oh, Jon, I'm sorry! I was so busy being mad over the things you did to me, I forgot to be grateful that you weren't as bad as you could have been! If we can rescue you in one piece, I'll drop the lawsuit, I'll let it all go, I promise! Just let me have you back!
—
Night was falling as they approached the old inactive volcano that Harvey had once known so well, and the headlights of the DuoCar caught two very familiar figures standing on the rim. One of them was green.
"Mentok! Phil! What are you doing here?" exclaimed Harvey as he landed.
"Waiting for you, of course!" replied Mentok. "Wouldn't miss this for the world!"
"But how did you know we would come here?" demanded Birdgirl, coming to rest beside him.
Mentok sighed the sigh of the very, very long-suffering. "Mind-taking, remember? Ooo-eee-ooo? Anyone? Anyone?"
"Speaking of taking," chimed in Phil, "looks like somebody came straight from a roll in the hay!" He nudged Birdgirl jovially with his elbow. "So who's the lucky guy?"
"That would be me," replied Tek, joining the group. The DuoCar remained above them, flying in lazy circles.
"You dog! And here I've been trying to get under that skirt for months now. Well, you win some, you lose some. I can handle it. Just as long as you never lay so much as a finger on my daughter Judy. Then I would have to get out the shotgun. Ha ha! Double standard."
"I understand, sir" said the hunter of quasars, voice dripping with space-gravitas. "And now . . . to make an entrance!" Pointing an oversized bioplasma disruptor pistol at the seal that covered the mouth of the volcano, he fired; there was an explosion, and a shower of blue sparks.
"You didn't have to do that!" coughed Harvey, waving away the swirling grey smoke. "I still have my key! We could have just walked in!"
"Oh," said Tek. "Well, the important thing is that we can get in now."
"Since I can't fly," added Phil, slinging an arm over Birdgirl's shoulders, "maybe you'd like to carry me down?"
"A little help here?" hissed Birdgirl through clenched teeth, shooting a desperate look in Harvey's direction.
With a nod, Harvey scooped up his boss. "I've got you, Phil. Bird-team, go!"
And they dove down into the volcano.
—
Jon had just been drifting off when the explosion came.
Wide awake now, he leaped out of bed and ran to the window, just in time to see a blue-and-gold blur slam Reducto across the room.
In an instant the supervillain was being assaulted by enough heroes to form their own Legion. There was Birdman; a miniature female copy of him who could only be Birdgirl; that infamous Duo, Ace and Gary; and—could it be?—Tek Jansen! (The Tek Jansen! The super-awesome spectacular ultra-spy! The one whose exciting exploits would sell millions of books!)
Sound effects flew back and forth like tennis balls. BIFF!
SOCK!
WHAP!
KA-POW!
AND SO ON!
"Hey!" yelled Jon, though he was sure it would be lost in the commotion. "Hey, I'm over here!"
"Hi there, Jon," said Mentok, appearing in front of him.
Only two days earlier Jon had thought that voice was creepy. Now, as the judge held up Reducto's shrink-gun and said "Let me just put this thing in reverse," it was the most melodic sound Jon had ever heard.