Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2011-03-10 07:40 pm
ptahrrific) wrote2011-03-10 07:40 pm
Fake News: The Affair
Title: The Affair
Rating: PG
Warnings: Foreplay.
Pairings/Characters: ...well, that would be telling.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.
This is another of those old handfuls-of-words that I thought I was going to do more with, and then...yeah, it isn't happening. Enjoy the standalone domestic cuddling instead.
"Are you coming to bed?"
"In a minute, honey. Just let me check CNN's homepage one more time..."
"Oh, no you don't. I know how this works. You say one more thing, then it turns into five more things, then ten, then it's half past midnight and my feet are cold and I have no one to put them on. C'mere."
"Wha — hey! Put me down!"
"Nope."
"...You know, this is size discrimination. Just because I happen to be a tiny, tiny human being, that doesn't mean you have the right to carry me off to the bedroom whenever you feel like."
"Yes, dear."
"If I can't even get respect at home, how am I supposed to keep the correspondents in line? They'll be all, sure, Stewart talks a good game, but...Ooh."
"You like that?"
"Uh. Yes. Yes, I did. Do it again."
"Oh, good. You have no idea — mmm — how much it turns me on, knowing that you go to work every day — help me with this clasp, would you?—"
"On it — oh, that's nice."
"—where all these gorgeous, powerful men — ummm — are falling at your feet — and you turn them all down and come home to me. Mmm."
"...hey, honey, can I ask you something? I mean something serious."
"Only if I get to keep my face here while you're asking."
"Right. Well, uh, how would you feel, hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to have a lesbian affair?"
"Would I get to watch?"
Stifling a giggle, Joan thwaps her husband with a pillow.
*
"So this isn't the 'indulging your not-so-secret fantasies' type of lesbian affair. And if it were the 'I'm leaving you and the kids to run off with this woman' type of lesbian affair, you probably wouldn't be asking my permission."
"Probably not."
Tracy's voice drops a few notes. "It isn't the 'first step on the road to swearing off men altogether' type of lesbian affair, is it?"
"No!" Joan chews on her bottom lip. "It's more a case of 'someone's being tortured with the idea that I might be interested, and I was about to let her down easily when I realized I wasn't sure I wanted to'. That's a thing, right?"
"I don't see why not. So, is it Stephanie?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"We are talking about the same Stephanie, yes? The one whose office is wallpapered with pinups of Sarah Palin? The one who insists that it's perfectly acceptable to greet all her female guests with kisses? The one who can never keep her hands off you?"
This is the kind of person Joan is: she's alone except for her partner, she's already half naked, and she still can't let herself laugh without making a halfhearted effort to hide it. "Point taken."
Rating: PG
Warnings: Foreplay.
Pairings/Characters: ...well, that would be telling.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.
This is another of those old handfuls-of-words that I thought I was going to do more with, and then...yeah, it isn't happening. Enjoy the standalone domestic cuddling instead.
"Are you coming to bed?"
"In a minute, honey. Just let me check CNN's homepage one more time..."
"Oh, no you don't. I know how this works. You say one more thing, then it turns into five more things, then ten, then it's half past midnight and my feet are cold and I have no one to put them on. C'mere."
"Wha — hey! Put me down!"
"Nope."
"...You know, this is size discrimination. Just because I happen to be a tiny, tiny human being, that doesn't mean you have the right to carry me off to the bedroom whenever you feel like."
"Yes, dear."
"If I can't even get respect at home, how am I supposed to keep the correspondents in line? They'll be all, sure, Stewart talks a good game, but...Ooh."
"You like that?"
"Uh. Yes. Yes, I did. Do it again."
"Oh, good. You have no idea — mmm — how much it turns me on, knowing that you go to work every day — help me with this clasp, would you?—"
"On it — oh, that's nice."
"—where all these gorgeous, powerful men — ummm — are falling at your feet — and you turn them all down and come home to me. Mmm."
"...hey, honey, can I ask you something? I mean something serious."
"Only if I get to keep my face here while you're asking."
"Right. Well, uh, how would you feel, hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to have a lesbian affair?"
"Would I get to watch?"
Stifling a giggle, Joan thwaps her husband with a pillow.
"So this isn't the 'indulging your not-so-secret fantasies' type of lesbian affair. And if it were the 'I'm leaving you and the kids to run off with this woman' type of lesbian affair, you probably wouldn't be asking my permission."
"Probably not."
Tracy's voice drops a few notes. "It isn't the 'first step on the road to swearing off men altogether' type of lesbian affair, is it?"
"No!" Joan chews on her bottom lip. "It's more a case of 'someone's being tortured with the idea that I might be interested, and I was about to let her down easily when I realized I wasn't sure I wanted to'. That's a thing, right?"
"I don't see why not. So, is it Stephanie?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"We are talking about the same Stephanie, yes? The one whose office is wallpapered with pinups of Sarah Palin? The one who insists that it's perfectly acceptable to greet all her female guests with kisses? The one who can never keep her hands off you?"
This is the kind of person Joan is: she's alone except for her partner, she's already half naked, and she still can't let herself laugh without making a halfhearted effort to hide it. "Point taken."