Entry tags:

genre: comedy, genre: fluff, pairing: jon/"stephen", pairing: jon/tracey, series: fake news, ~expectingverse

Title: The Interview
Rating: PG
Characters/pairings: Stephen(/Jon), Tracey(/Jon)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Stephen brings on a special guest to discuss tonight's top story.

(Part of the Expectingverse.)


The Interview


"But, Nation, we all know the top story tonight: Me.

"Now, I know I say that all the time anyway, but today it's actually true. The tabloids broke it, the blogosphere ran with it, and the mainstream media is still complaining about why it always hears the good gossip last.

"I am talking, of course, about my secret long-time affair with fellow late-night host and noted liberal, Jon Stewart."

A nervous titter ran through the audience. Nobody was quite sure whether to laugh or boo, cheer or aww.

"We all know this kind of salacious scandal is hardest on the poor beleaguered wife," Stephen continued. "Joining me now, the poor beleagured wife: Tracey Stewart!"

The audience burst into enthusiastic applause, partly out of relief that they actually knew what to do. No matter what the circumstances, when a guest comes on, you clap.

Tracey favored them with a gracious wave before shaking Stephen's hand. "Glad to be here, Stephen."

"We're glad to have you," agreed the host, before getting right down to business. "Now, Tracey, were you shocked to hear about this secret affair?"

"Not particularly," said Tracey with a shrug. "I've known about it for years."

"Oh — you mean in the sense that the wife always knows something is wrong?"

"No, I mean in the sense that I agreed to it before it started."

A gasp went up from the crowd.

Tracey ignored them, keeping her attention on Stephen's shrewd gaze. It wasn't hard. He had a way of looking at you that made it feel like there was nothing else in the world but the conversation he was having.

"You agreed to it!" he exclaimed. "So the Stewarts are into three-ways, then? Or freaky orgies where you have no idea whose toes you might be sucking?"

"That sounds a little out-there for me," laughed Tracey. "Besides, between the two of us, he's the only one who wants you that way. And you don't particularly want to sleep with me, do you?"

"God, no!" said Stephen quickly. "Uh, no offense."

"None taken."

(Okay, there had been at least one night when some good-natured teasing between her and Stephen had turned into a surprisingly sexy contest. But that probably didn't count, because their full attention was on, not each other, but the man helplessly panting fragments of both of their names in the middle.

And anyway, the general public didn't need to know about that.)

"To be honest," she added, "back at the beginning, I was a little hesitant to even let you get involved with Jon. Partly because of the general idea, and partly because...well...."

"You knew I wasn't very good at sharing," offered Stephen ruefully.

"Exactly." She smiled. "But you promised to do your best. And, of course, Jon loved you. So I decided to give you a chance — and I'm glad I did. You've made us very happy, Stephen."

Stephen ducked his head to hide a blush. The audience broke into a chorus of awws.

"Well, of course," he stammered, hastily flipping through his note cards for the next question. "I make everyone happy. Obviously. Unless they hate America, or something."

He found the card and looked up again, mostly composed. "So, ah...does it bother you that you can't withhold sex as a weapon any more? I mean, since Jon can just get it on with me if you won't put out."

"I didn't do that in the first place," pointed out Tracey. "But, listen, we're not exactly a free-love commune. If Jon were to sneak off to you on one of my nights, that would be cheating. We do have rules, even though they're not the traditional ones, and we've all agreed to follow them."

Stephen's eyebrows flew upwards. "And that works?"

"It has for the past four years."

Stephen nodded thoughtfully. "So, just to be clear," he said, gesturing with his pen, "you're totally cool with the fact that I'm sleeping with your husband."

"If you can keep sharing him, I can."

"It's a deal." Stephen turned to the camera with a broad grin. "Tracey Stewart, everybody! We'll be right back."