Entry tags:

genre: comedy, pairing: jon/"stephen", series: fake news

Title: Waiting
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Jimmy, implied J/"S"
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons, places, and events, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. Fictional characters are the property of TCR, not mine.

Written after the intro to Wednesday's Wørd.



Waiting


Dear Mr. Colbert,

Apparently you can't take a blatant hint even when I put it right in front of your face. (Well, right next to your face. Close enough.) So let me spell it out for you.

Stewart's in love with you.

And I'm pretty sure you're in love with Stewart. He's just waiting for you to figure it out.

But you're too dense to notice either of these things, which is why he's been pining after you unsuccessfully for . . . well, at least as long as I've worked here. And it's about time you got over your bizarre hang-ups and planet-sized blind spots and let the man shag you, already. It would do you both good.

I'm never going to give you this letter, of course. I want to keep my job.

So this is going to end up stuck in the drawer with all the others, and I'm going to go back to dropping sly little hints, and you will continue to miss them completely, because you are apparently unable to see even things so obvious that everyone else in a five-block radius has picked up on them.

But one of these days someone is going to be brave enough or stupid enough to say all this to your face.

And I hope it happens when we're on the air, because I've already put together a whole montage to go with it.

Sincerely,
Jimmy