Fake News: Waiting

[ptahrrific]

Title: Waiting
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Jimmy, implied J/"S"
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons, places, and events, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. Fictional characters are the property of TCR, not mine.

Written after the intro to Wednesday's Wørd.



Waiting


Dear Mr. Colbert,

Apparently you can't take a blatant hint even when I put it right in front of your face. (Well, right next to your face. Close enough.) So let me spell it out for you.

Stewart's in love with you.

And I'm pretty sure you're in love with Stewart. He's just waiting for you to figure it out.

But you're too dense to notice either of these things, which is why he's been pining after you unsuccessfully for . . . well, at least as long as I've worked here. And it's about time you got over your bizarre hang-ups and planet-sized blind spots and let the man shag you, already. It would do you both good.

I'm never going to give you this letter, of course. I want to keep my job.

So this is going to end up stuck in the drawer with all the others, and I'm going to go back to dropping sly little hints, and you will continue to miss them completely, because you are apparently unable to see even things so obvious that everyone else in a five-block radius has picked up on them.

But one of these days someone is going to be brave enough or stupid enough to say all this to your face.

And I hope it happens when we're on the air, because I've already put together a whole montage to go with it.

Sincerely,
Jimmy

Comments

[rissaofthesaiya.livejournal.com]

Jimmy the shipper! I love it. Five-block radius? Try five-PLANET radius! I bet his montage is epic.

I died when that picture popped up. I'd actually rationalised it as something similar to the Word - Stephen's subconscious getting into the machinery again. But this is much more fun.

I love it when they do little shout-outs to the fan community. (What shout-out? Absolutely a coincidence that maybe two thirds of J/S fans have used that picture as an icon at some point. No, the writers don't check up on the fandom at all...)

[ptahrrific]

I thought of it as a Word-style thing at first - the letter was going to be somebody pointing out that Stephen's show was trying to tell him something - and then I realized, hey, Jimmy might actually have done it himself.

Shoutouts are awesome.

[fireflower314.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you posted this, because ofc this was awesome and then I got to watch that clip and it made my life. That picture was entirely too perfect.

[ptahrrific]

Oh, excellent. Glad to be of service =D

[gammaguilt.livejournal.com]

I like it! it also fits perfectly with Stephen's reaction after the pic appeared. some very clever audience members started cheering and then everyone got going, and Stephen just did the "I'll wait" glasses adjustment. (or at least that's how I interpret it.)

I have edited in pictures in that little box by his head just for fun, and with that in mind, it took me a second to believe that I was seeing the actual show putting up that actual image!

[ptahrrific]

Thanks!

Ahahaha, so I'm not the only one XD

[(Anonymous)]

Yes! Awesome. I love Jimmy's bluntness. And it's interesting that he focuses first on Jon's feelings for Stephen, rather than the other way around -- but that goes with the picture he chose, so it makes sense.

~A. Fann

P.S. I got to make a comment on something current! Yay!

[ptahrrific]

I figure all the staff get pretty blunt in the letters they never send =3

Thank you!

[maggiebloome.livejournal.com]

Hee, that video is WONDERFUL. And Jimmy the shipper, lol!

Also I have to say, thanks to you I now alternate between imagining the Word bullet as Stevie or the alien butterfly thing :D it is such an improvement.

[ptahrrific]

Glad you like!

Ah, the Wørd is more than awesome enough on its own. But you're very kind ^_^

[(Anonymous)]

What's the alien butterfly thing?

[ptahrrific]

I wrote a Doctor Who crossover in which the Wørd turned out to be...well, an alien butterfly thing.

[stellar-dust.livejournal.com]

Ha, I love it! Especially the end! :D

[infraredphaeton.livejournal.com]

lol

Of course</i< Jimmy has a montage.

[(Anonymous)]

...you kind of rock.
i was going to ask 'homg did you see the bit right before the Word when it was A Man Named Plaxico?' and this fic answers that question. how great was that bit? sanctity of traditional knife-fights...i actually do believe in that, but let's not get into that. i thought it was earlier than Wednesday, though...
anyway, this is just about perfect in most every way. go you.
Kagaya

[elincubus.livejournal.com]

XD now I want to see that montage, Jimmy! Come on, show it, it's not as if Stephen would notice anyway.