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ptahrrific) wrote2013-06-06 03:19 pm
ptahrrific) wrote2013-06-06 03:19 pm
Entry tags:
Fake News | ensemble | PG-13 | Shout*For, chapter 6
Title: Shout*For, chapter 6: Cover Me
Characters/Pairings: Jon+"Stephen"+Jimmy, Olivia+Kristen, Tucker, cameos
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: See series Table of Contents.
Olivia spins some good stories in an interview talking about the movie. Stephen needs his friends to look out for him at an awards show. The guys film some gimmicks for the TV episode setting up their next single. But it's when Olivia and Stephen start "dating" that the paparazzi really descend.
At least we get pie out of the deal.
(Continuity note: in this universe, the Radio Disney Music Awards have aired every year since starting in 2002.)
My Dinner With Lisa
By the numbers, Lisa Munn may be the most successful teen star in history. Her second movie is coming out this Christmas, her show is the biggest hit in the tween demographic, and her third album, released this week, is fast on track to going platinum. Our correspondent sat down with the princess of pop for an interview that covers her career, her friends, and her penchant for pie.
By Mo Rocca
April 11, 2011
I sat down with Lisa Munn at Gloria & Jane's, a charming little mom-and-pop establishment with a pretty standard lunch menu. The real draw of the place is its specialty pies, often named after celebrity patrons — their custom French Silk variant is called the Olivia, which is Lisa's middle name.
The star herself arrived with her mother Kim, her publicist, and a handful of paparazzi in tow. (The latter were politely refused entry.) After ordering "the usual," Lisa was served a health-conscious Caesar salad, along with a slice of blueberry pie and a scoop of ice cream. Curious, I asked if she ever got tired of blueberry. "No," she explained while digging in, "what I get is always the dessert special of the day. So it's different every time."
Lisa was just as cheerful and forthcoming with the rest of my questions...although I didn't get most of the answers until after she had finished her pie!
Mo Rocca: First of all, thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me today.
Lisa Munn: No problem! This is actually a great thing for me, because the filming schedule right now is grueling, and if I'm doing an interview I get to have a way longer lunch.
MR: Well, I'm happy to help. The filming, you say, that would be both the movie and the show?
LM: Exactly. We're trying to keep putting out episodes of Star Girl while finishing the movie. The only reason there are enough hours in the day is because we're working in a run of Kristen [Schaal, who plays Lisa's best friend Sadie on the show]-centric or Wyatt [Cenac, playing her superhero sidekick J.D.]-centric episodes. Even one for Rob [Riggle, playing love interest Flint].
I'm really glad they're getting the chance to do that, by the way. They're both great actors too, and deserve some more in-depth writing that'll let them stretch their skills.
MR: So tell me about this movie. How much can you give away?
LM: Here's what I can tell you: it's going to be a different character from the show, and it's going in a totally new acting direction for me. Instead of playing an up-and-coming pop star who secretly turns into a superhero, I play an up-and-coming pop star who secretly switches places with a princess.
MR: [laughs] Sounds exciting! Is the vibe on-set different from what you're used to, or is filming filming no matter what?
LM: Well, no, the vibe is going to be different because the people are different. Like, on Star Girl when we're not shooting I'm always hanging out with Kristen and Wyatt, right? And on the movie, between takes or whatever, it's mostly Steve [Carell] and Stephen [Colbert] that I'm chatting with. It's the difference between BFFs I've had for years, who got to know me even before the whole career thing took off, and new friends I'm making while we're all in the middle of it.
MR: There's been some buzz about you and Stephen getting close lately. He plays your love interest in the movie, doesn't he?
LM: Uh-huh. And yeah, we're buddies! [laughs] It's not really about the roles we play, though, it's about how we kind of get each other. All the guys in Shout*For are in the same kind of spotlight I am, and Stephen's the busiest — he's the one who's also trying to balance a show with this movie and whatever other deals or contracts we're working on — so there's an easy broship there. Plus he's a great guy! Really energetic, really funny, just fun to hang out with.
MR: Is it easy for you to make friends like that, or is it more of a special thing?
LM: Well, I get along with people pretty easily, I think. But real, close friends, that's basically just my family, and Kristen and Wyatt, and a tiny handful of other people. Including Stephen, now.
It's hard because there are always people who act like they care about you, but underneath they really just want something from you, or see you more as this beautiful public image than as an actual human being...or who are actually waiting for you to screw up so they can make a quick buck off it.
MR: People from tabloids and gossip columns, you mean. Like the ones who were passing around those party-girl rumors a couple of months ago.
LM: Oh boy. You know, the whole thing about those rumors is that they start with a kernel of something that's true — and totally normal — and try to drum it up into a huge scandal. Like, I like to go out and dance with my friends sometimes. What teenager doesn't? But that wouldn't be news — "Front page headline: Lisa Munn, Average Girl!" — so they fill it out with ideas about drinking and drugs and sex and whatever else they think will sell.
It's a problem in the whole news industry, I think, not just these gossip mills. I watch the regular news in my downtime, and they're always jumping on stories with no information or that aren't even true because they're desperate to keep people's attention. Everyone's trying to get ratings above all, not trying to tell the truth.
MR: You watch the news? Like, CNN?
LM: Totally! It's just so fascinating. The industry, I mean. There's probably an alternate universe where, instead of singing and acting and everything, I went into journalism.
MR: That would certainly be a change! Any interest in switching careers when you're older?
LM: Are you kidding? I've worked too hard on this singing thing to just throw it all away.
MR: By the way, what's Stephen like to sing with?
LM: Awesome.
~*~
Nokia Theatre, downtown LA.
"We're so stoked to be here at the Radio Disney Music Awards!" yelled Stephen into the mic, and got a roar from the crowd.
The auditorium wasn't as packed as Jon had expected: either Stephen had been exaggerating when he described the ceremony's importance, or he was just used to seeing everything the company did as larger-than-life. Not that Jon wasn't going to bask in the attention anyway. He gave them his best reserved-and-mysterious smile, while Jimmy blew the audience kisses, Tucker did his super-proper bowing-and-waving routine, and Stephen, well, Stephen was electric.
"Do you guys want us to do a song?" called Stephen. Another round of cheers. Stephen held up his hand and made a gentle lowering gesture; the noise faded away. Jon could hear the backdrop sliding apart behind them, to reveal, conveniently enough, their instruments. His fingers were itching to get around the guitar.
On stage and on the monitors, Stephen's level hand crept upward again.
The cheers returned. Stephen brought them up, soothed them back down, and then bounced his hand in the air, getting the noise level to jump after him like a dolphin leaping after a fish. Jon by this point was covering his mouth with his fist to mask how much he was giggling.
"Let's do a song!" shouted Stephen, and they made a break for their instruments.
It ended up being the most dazzling venue Jon had ever played, and not in a good way. Someone had decided to compensate for the smallish stage and the frankly cheap-looking backdrop by going overboard with the lights. A row of at least a dozen overhead spotlights was leaving corkscrewing trails of yellow-white across Jon's vision, and there was some serious neon action happening behind him, flooding the stage around their feet with a constantly shifting rainbow.
Still, they were doing one of their standards, a song Jon knew backwards and forwards by now. He could've played it blindfolded. Eyes closed half the time against the glare, his hands danced through the chords as he sang: first accompanying Stephen with the melody, then breaking into harmonies, all four voices weaving around and between each other.
Stephen moved like water, like he was some kind of sylph whose feet were only touching the ground as a courtesy rather than an obligation. From the back he was lit up head to toe in pink, blue, green, red — until he broke out past the neon aura and went flying down the steps, taking a spin through one of the aisles. He barely made it back onstage before they reached the final chorus.
Barely even breathless, Stephen introduced the presenters for the first award, then they all made a break for offstage. It was a zoo, but a well-managed zoo, where they were hustled efficiently past the next group up (an all-girl quintet in matching party dresses) to a quiet corner with fresh water bottles and high-protein snacks.
"That was a-MAZ-ing," gushed Stephen, practically vibrating. "We have GOT to win after that!"
"You know the votes are already cast, right?" said Jon. And then, "How much caffeine have you had lately?"
Stephen's grin split his whole face. "A lot!"
They went out onstage once more, to present the award for Best Music Video, and then it was back to sit and wait for their categories. Production people swarmed around them. Jimmy ended up giving Stephen a full-on shoulder massage in an effort to keep him from bouncing off the walls too badly.
"And the nominees for Best Male Singer are..."
Jon was a little miffed that Stephen had been nominated on his own, rather than the four of them being up for Best Group. Still, seeing Stephen's hand wrapped so tightly around his perennial good-luck charm (half of a Best Friends Forever pendant; Jimmy owned the other half) that his knuckles were turning white, Jon really hoped....
The second the name was announced, both Jon and Jimmy had hands clapped over Stephen's mouth, holding him down and muffling what felt like some fire-spitting curses.
"You are very happy for him," hissed Jimmy.
"It was an honor just to be nominated," added Jon sternly.
Tucker just groaned and massaged his temples.
Stephen thrashed and struggled, but it wasn't until he calmed down that they let him out of their grip. "I lost to Barry Manilow?" he said desperately, as if pleading for them to tell him it wasn't true. "I lost to that jerk who couldn't even manage to come in first on American Idol? He's not even with Disney! I don't understand how he's still eligible to be nominated!"
"Yes, yes, it's very unfair," said Jimmy, then grimaced. "Look, I've gotta hit the bathroom — do I have to take you with me, or will you be good for Jon while I'm gone?"
Stephen pouted. "I'll be good."
And he was, remarkably quiet, watching the nearest monitor as Olivia accepted the award for Song of the Year.
When Jimmy got back, he added, with muttered finality, "Didn't want a golden idol anyway."
~*~
Post-recovery, back on the lot.
In the real world, the song Shout*For was preparing to cover had already been decided on. In their pseudo-real TV world, it was still an open question...at least until the end of this episode.
They had already shot the main scene, a sequence in which the boys sat around in the "Stephen's rec room" set and pitched songs at each other. When each one launched into his song, the show would cut away to a fantasy sequence, filmed in front of a green screen using costumes reminiscent of the tunes' respective movies. Which was why Stephen was currently wearing a tan shirt hemmed with a blocky geometric pattern, slim brown corduroy pants, and a vest and boots hemmed with matching reddish fake fur.
His "real world" self would be getting up from the couch and taking a couple of steps toward the cameras, so on cue, he tried to match that pace in walking toward the screen before whipping around and flashing a grin. "I'm gonna be a mighty king / so enemies beware!" he burst out, feet tapping along as he preened his coif-of-the-day. "Have you ever seen a king of beasts / with quite such pretty hair? / I'm gonna be the mane event / Like no king was before / I'm brushing up, I'm looking down / I'm working on my roar!"
He twirled, shimmied, hips snapping, hands flashing in artful arcs. Half the choreography was scripted and half he was making up on the spot — the others barely even had choreography — but Stephen had rhythm, he had music, he was all over this and then some. "Let every creature go for broke and sing / Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing / It's gonna be King Stephen's finest fling / Oh, I just can't wait to be king~!"
The moment Craig yelled "cut!", a couple of the crew descended on Stephen to offer him a water bottle and dab the sweat from his face. One more take, and they had this one in the can.
Instead of retreating to the changing room, Stephen chilled offstage with the others (and, coincidentally, the snack table), watching the rest of the cutaways. Jimmy, who on the show was constantly trying to matchmake his bandmates with cute girls, would protest that they needed a more romantic song, so his cutaway was to a dreamy-eyed "Tale as old as time...true as it can be...." He got a soft off-white flannel shirt with golden trim and dark brown accessories: someone must have decided it would be a step too far to base his outfit off of Mrs. Potts, and ordered a Lumière theme instead.
Tucker on-show insisted on a song that was about having a love interest rather than watching someone else's, and for his cutaway got to make dramatic gestures and wear a smart grey outfit that was, if you ignored the bow tie, a few chevrons away from looking military. He was singing a version of "A Girl Worth Fighting For", the lyrics tweaked, as Stephen's had been, to make sense with a single voice. After Tucker's first take, Jimmy whispered that he was going to go ahead and hit the showers.
"Why are we including this song anyway?" muttered Jon to Stephen when it was just them. "Isn't the whole point that the singers are being creepy and sexist and patronizing?"
Stephen shrugged. "I guess. But Current did a cover of 'Poor Unfortunate Souls', and the point there was that the singer was evil. This can't be worse."
A few takes later, Tucker was heading off to the showers and Jon was getting his last-minute facial dusting from the makeup techs. On the show Jon's bad-boy aura was underlined with a lot of dangerous-looking silence, and he had spent the whole song-choosing scene sitting back in his chair and being calmly unimpressed. (The real Jon had been smiling during Jimmy's scene and totally enthralled by Stephen's dancing. It was nice that he had better judgment than his fictional counterpart.)
At last show-Jon sat up and shook his head. "You're all wrong," he said, stoic to the core, unsettling his bandmates and, in the real world, the audience. It was a moment of high drama! Will Jon insist on singing something dark, broody, and/or antisocial? Are their tastes just too different to agree on a song to cover? Can this band be saved?!
On the side of the set, Stephen licked Dorito dust off his fingers with a smug smile. Everyone would be all worried, but he knew better. Show-Jon was only doing the lead-in to the current cutaway, which involved a beautiful romantic ballad and the tightest purple T-shirt the Disney Channel had ever let a teen actor get away with.
Standing before the green screen, posture deceptively casual, he took a breath.
"I can show you the world," he crooned. "Shining, shimmering, splendid..."
One finger still in his mouth, Stephen shivered. They had all rehearsed their solos separately, so this was his first chance to really hear Jon working this song.
"...tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?"
And work it Jon did. His voice wrapped around Stephen like a warm, sexy blanket...
"I can open your eyes — take you wonder by wonder...over, sideways, and und—"
...until it went flat. Stephen winced in sympathy.
"Cut!" yelled Craig. "Jon, what was that? Did you rehearse this thing or didn't you?"
"Yes!" Jon looked anxiously between the director and Stephen, running a hand through his hair. "Yes, sorry. I'm good to do this, I swear. I just...."
All of a sudden Craig was looking at Stephen too. "You doing something to distract him?" he demanded.
"It's not that!" said Jon quickly, coming to Stephen's defense. "He's not doing anything. It's just, you know, it is a little distracting when I'm trying to do a serious song and he's sitting over there dressed as a lion." He threw Stephen an awkward grimace. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine!" said Stephen. "I'll go ahead and...go."
Face hot, he stalked off to their dressing room without looking back.
~*~
When the band was supposed to be having a break period, in practice that often meant Stephen was packing up to be rushed off to the movie set. Today, though, Jon came out of the shower to find Stephen waiting alone in the dressing room.
"Hi," stammered Jon, very relieved he'd gotten into the habit of dressing before he came out. "Are you okay? Where are the guys?"
"They're down with the food." Stephen bit his lip. "Jimmy thinks I should talk to you."
"Is this about earlier? Because I really am sorry. It was me being easily distracted, not your fault."
"What? No, don't be silly, this is important," said Stephen. "And you have to keep this an absolute secret, okay?"
Jon took a seat beside him on the low couch, toweling off his hair. "Sure, okay. What is it?"
"I..." Stephen swallowed. "Olivia and I are going to start fake dating."
"Oh."
"We like hanging out for real, so it shouldn't be hard!" added Stephen. "It isn't like she's being forced to fake date Tucker. Although Tucker probably wouldn't need to in the first place...."
"So it's a PR thing?" said Jon, trying to make sure he was keeping up. It was hard to know sometimes, with Stephen. "Your publicists or managers or whoever are trying to hype...the movie? Your careers in general?"
"Both/either," agreed Stephen. "And, um. Jon, I. Remember the night I sent you those badly-spelled texts from Venice?"
Jon grimaced. "Hard to forget something that harrowing."
"I don't know what that means, but I'll take it as a yes," said Stephen. "Well, Jon, I don't want to shock you, but...my actions that night might not have been entirely in compliance with my conscience clause. In a way that PR is hoping to minimize."
Ah. Now it all came together. "So you really did kiss a guy."
"He called me principessa!" cried Stephen. "How was I supposed to resist?"
"Hey, shh, come on, it's okay!" soothed Jon quickly. "I'm not judging you, all right? I think you should be able to kiss whoever you want, and it's crazy that our contracts get to mess with that."
Stephen sniffled a little. "Really?"
"Really. And if you need any help keeping up the fake-girlfriend cover, just let me know, okay?" Between Jon and Jimmy — who had probably seen this coming, given how he'd taken it for granted that Stephen wouldn't start going out with Olivia for real — they might be able to do things like give Stephen an alibi the next time he was spotted making out with a human of the male persuasion.
"Okay," said Stephen. "Then would you...do you think you could...come with me on our first fake date this weekend?"
~*~
Olivia was relieved to see she wasn't the only one who had brought backup.
They piled out of the car in a group and ducked camera flashes on the way into Gloria & Jane's. Olivia and Stephen held hands; they were flanked by Kristen and Jon, with Jon slowed down by hauling a stylish bag that turned out, once they had found a table and gotten settled, to hold an algebra textbook and related papers. "Sorry to check out on you here," he said sheepishly, "but I really have to get this done."
"At least you showed up," said Stephen, patting him on the arm. To Olivia he confided, "Jimmy couldn't even make it! Something about having to spend the day with his family."
"One day, we will get him here and he will understand what he missed," said Olivia solemnly. "Now, today's special is...let's see, ooh, double layer key lime with meringue! That's what I'm getting. You should probably all go for different things so we can share. I can especially recommend the peanut-butter-banana cream, the pecan with chocolate, and the strawberry-rhubarb, but really, anything's good."
"Hang on," said Jon, looking up from his menu. "I thought this was dinner. Were we supposed to have already eaten?"
Olivia blinked at him. "Of course not! That would have filled you up too much to take full advantage of the pie selection."
"You can order for me," Kristen offered. She was ignoring the menu in favor of her phone, absorbed in Twitter. Olivia had probably brought her here enough to know the kitchen's repertoire by heart anyway. "As far as dessert goes, I mean. For food I'll have the turkey melt."
Stephen, paging through his own menu, suddenly gave a start. "What are these?" he demanded. "Dutch apple pie? Swedish apple pie?"
"Their Dutch is made with cinnamon," explained Olivia, "and—"
"I don't care what they're made of!" cried Stephen. "It's an outrage. An affront. The only kind of apple pie this establishment should be serving is American! I want to talk to the manager."
"I'll see if I can get one of them to come out later," Olivia assured him. "For now, chill out so we can order."
There was a general silence when the food came. Stephen got a full-size entrée and was busy wolfing it down; Jon picked at his fish fingers with one hand and his phone's calculator app with the other; Kristen kept an eye on the scrolling wall of tweets; and Olivia, well, her key lime had arrived.
"Mmrgh!" exclaimed Kristen suddenly. She covered her mouth, chewed quickly, and swallowed before making the announcement. "We're on Gawker!"
Olivia leaned over her shoulder. "Ooh, let me see."
"Well, you're on Gawker," corrected Kristen after a minute. "You and Stephen...you, Stephen, and Jon...you and Stephen...ooh, you can see my foot in that one...aha! There's one with all of us." Satisfied, she handed it around so they could all get a look at the slideshow.
"Eurgh," said Olivia, making a face. "How come nobody told me this lipstick looked terrible?"
"At least you're graceful," said Jon. "I look like some kind of shambling golem in comparison."
"You do not," Stephen assured him.
"Hey, thanks."
"If anything, with the way you're clinging to this bag, you look like a drug smuggler."
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and wipe this mouth off," announced Olivia abruptly. She winked at Stephen. "Want me to get any of it on your collar first?"
Stephen recoiled. "Are you insane? This shirt is Ralph Lauren!"
~*~
Stephen did get to meet one of the managers before they left. Jane listened to a moment or two of speechifying, then flustered him into silence with a kiss on the cheek, and announced that they would love to make an American apple pie just for him. Also, they would love to put his name on it, so he should have his people give them a call.
There were fewer gawkers with cameras when the group came out of the restaurant, to Jon's profound relief. He'd also knocked out a couple of homework problems, tasted some pretty delicious pie, and had friends around to support him through Kristen's real-time reporting as their photos and associated gossip spread across the Internet.
"Well! That was fun," announced Kristen as they piled into the car. She leered at Jon, or tried to; her face was too gosh-darn adorable for it to have the usual effect. "Hey, if you and me started fake dating, we could do fake double dates all the time."
"I'll pass," giggled Jon. "But I appreciate the offer."
"Aww. At least let me have your number? Maybe we can hang out sometimes while these two are busy being famous."
"Sure, why not." Jon rattled off the digits, fumbling in his bag for his own phone. "I'll get yours too. Just a second...."
Stephen pouted. "Doesn't anybody want my number?"
"Already got it," chorused Jon and Olivia.
"I'll take it, though!" exclaimed Kristen, bouncing in her seat.
By the time she had finished entering Stephen as a contact, Jon had turned his bag inside out and moved on to patting his pockets. No luck. And he knew he'd had it at dinner; he'd been using it to do the homework.
"Um, guys?" he said shakily. "I think we may have a problem."
Characters/Pairings: Jon+"Stephen"+Jimmy, Olivia+Kristen, Tucker, cameos
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: See series Table of Contents.
Olivia spins some good stories in an interview talking about the movie. Stephen needs his friends to look out for him at an awards show. The guys film some gimmicks for the TV episode setting up their next single. But it's when Olivia and Stephen start "dating" that the paparazzi really descend.
At least we get pie out of the deal.
(Continuity note: in this universe, the Radio Disney Music Awards have aired every year since starting in 2002.)
My Dinner With Lisa
By the numbers, Lisa Munn may be the most successful teen star in history. Her second movie is coming out this Christmas, her show is the biggest hit in the tween demographic, and her third album, released this week, is fast on track to going platinum. Our correspondent sat down with the princess of pop for an interview that covers her career, her friends, and her penchant for pie.
By Mo Rocca
April 11, 2011
I sat down with Lisa Munn at Gloria & Jane's, a charming little mom-and-pop establishment with a pretty standard lunch menu. The real draw of the place is its specialty pies, often named after celebrity patrons — their custom French Silk variant is called the Olivia, which is Lisa's middle name.
The star herself arrived with her mother Kim, her publicist, and a handful of paparazzi in tow. (The latter were politely refused entry.) After ordering "the usual," Lisa was served a health-conscious Caesar salad, along with a slice of blueberry pie and a scoop of ice cream. Curious, I asked if she ever got tired of blueberry. "No," she explained while digging in, "what I get is always the dessert special of the day. So it's different every time."
Lisa was just as cheerful and forthcoming with the rest of my questions...although I didn't get most of the answers until after she had finished her pie!
Mo Rocca: First of all, thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me today.
Lisa Munn: No problem! This is actually a great thing for me, because the filming schedule right now is grueling, and if I'm doing an interview I get to have a way longer lunch.
MR: Well, I'm happy to help. The filming, you say, that would be both the movie and the show?
LM: Exactly. We're trying to keep putting out episodes of Star Girl while finishing the movie. The only reason there are enough hours in the day is because we're working in a run of Kristen [Schaal, who plays Lisa's best friend Sadie on the show]-centric or Wyatt [Cenac, playing her superhero sidekick J.D.]-centric episodes. Even one for Rob [Riggle, playing love interest Flint].
I'm really glad they're getting the chance to do that, by the way. They're both great actors too, and deserve some more in-depth writing that'll let them stretch their skills.
MR: So tell me about this movie. How much can you give away?
LM: Here's what I can tell you: it's going to be a different character from the show, and it's going in a totally new acting direction for me. Instead of playing an up-and-coming pop star who secretly turns into a superhero, I play an up-and-coming pop star who secretly switches places with a princess.
MR: [laughs] Sounds exciting! Is the vibe on-set different from what you're used to, or is filming filming no matter what?
LM: Well, no, the vibe is going to be different because the people are different. Like, on Star Girl when we're not shooting I'm always hanging out with Kristen and Wyatt, right? And on the movie, between takes or whatever, it's mostly Steve [Carell] and Stephen [Colbert] that I'm chatting with. It's the difference between BFFs I've had for years, who got to know me even before the whole career thing took off, and new friends I'm making while we're all in the middle of it.
MR: There's been some buzz about you and Stephen getting close lately. He plays your love interest in the movie, doesn't he?
LM: Uh-huh. And yeah, we're buddies! [laughs] It's not really about the roles we play, though, it's about how we kind of get each other. All the guys in Shout*For are in the same kind of spotlight I am, and Stephen's the busiest — he's the one who's also trying to balance a show with this movie and whatever other deals or contracts we're working on — so there's an easy broship there. Plus he's a great guy! Really energetic, really funny, just fun to hang out with.
MR: Is it easy for you to make friends like that, or is it more of a special thing?
LM: Well, I get along with people pretty easily, I think. But real, close friends, that's basically just my family, and Kristen and Wyatt, and a tiny handful of other people. Including Stephen, now.
It's hard because there are always people who act like they care about you, but underneath they really just want something from you, or see you more as this beautiful public image than as an actual human being...or who are actually waiting for you to screw up so they can make a quick buck off it.
MR: People from tabloids and gossip columns, you mean. Like the ones who were passing around those party-girl rumors a couple of months ago.
LM: Oh boy. You know, the whole thing about those rumors is that they start with a kernel of something that's true — and totally normal — and try to drum it up into a huge scandal. Like, I like to go out and dance with my friends sometimes. What teenager doesn't? But that wouldn't be news — "Front page headline: Lisa Munn, Average Girl!" — so they fill it out with ideas about drinking and drugs and sex and whatever else they think will sell.
It's a problem in the whole news industry, I think, not just these gossip mills. I watch the regular news in my downtime, and they're always jumping on stories with no information or that aren't even true because they're desperate to keep people's attention. Everyone's trying to get ratings above all, not trying to tell the truth.
MR: You watch the news? Like, CNN?
LM: Totally! It's just so fascinating. The industry, I mean. There's probably an alternate universe where, instead of singing and acting and everything, I went into journalism.
MR: That would certainly be a change! Any interest in switching careers when you're older?
LM: Are you kidding? I've worked too hard on this singing thing to just throw it all away.
MR: By the way, what's Stephen like to sing with?
LM: Awesome.
~*~
"We're so stoked to be here at the Radio Disney Music Awards!" yelled Stephen into the mic, and got a roar from the crowd.
The auditorium wasn't as packed as Jon had expected: either Stephen had been exaggerating when he described the ceremony's importance, or he was just used to seeing everything the company did as larger-than-life. Not that Jon wasn't going to bask in the attention anyway. He gave them his best reserved-and-mysterious smile, while Jimmy blew the audience kisses, Tucker did his super-proper bowing-and-waving routine, and Stephen, well, Stephen was electric.
"Do you guys want us to do a song?" called Stephen. Another round of cheers. Stephen held up his hand and made a gentle lowering gesture; the noise faded away. Jon could hear the backdrop sliding apart behind them, to reveal, conveniently enough, their instruments. His fingers were itching to get around the guitar.
On stage and on the monitors, Stephen's level hand crept upward again.
The cheers returned. Stephen brought them up, soothed them back down, and then bounced his hand in the air, getting the noise level to jump after him like a dolphin leaping after a fish. Jon by this point was covering his mouth with his fist to mask how much he was giggling.
"Let's do a song!" shouted Stephen, and they made a break for their instruments.
It ended up being the most dazzling venue Jon had ever played, and not in a good way. Someone had decided to compensate for the smallish stage and the frankly cheap-looking backdrop by going overboard with the lights. A row of at least a dozen overhead spotlights was leaving corkscrewing trails of yellow-white across Jon's vision, and there was some serious neon action happening behind him, flooding the stage around their feet with a constantly shifting rainbow.
Still, they were doing one of their standards, a song Jon knew backwards and forwards by now. He could've played it blindfolded. Eyes closed half the time against the glare, his hands danced through the chords as he sang: first accompanying Stephen with the melody, then breaking into harmonies, all four voices weaving around and between each other.
Stephen moved like water, like he was some kind of sylph whose feet were only touching the ground as a courtesy rather than an obligation. From the back he was lit up head to toe in pink, blue, green, red — until he broke out past the neon aura and went flying down the steps, taking a spin through one of the aisles. He barely made it back onstage before they reached the final chorus.
Barely even breathless, Stephen introduced the presenters for the first award, then they all made a break for offstage. It was a zoo, but a well-managed zoo, where they were hustled efficiently past the next group up (an all-girl quintet in matching party dresses) to a quiet corner with fresh water bottles and high-protein snacks.
"That was a-MAZ-ing," gushed Stephen, practically vibrating. "We have GOT to win after that!"
"You know the votes are already cast, right?" said Jon. And then, "How much caffeine have you had lately?"
Stephen's grin split his whole face. "A lot!"
They went out onstage once more, to present the award for Best Music Video, and then it was back to sit and wait for their categories. Production people swarmed around them. Jimmy ended up giving Stephen a full-on shoulder massage in an effort to keep him from bouncing off the walls too badly.
"And the nominees for Best Male Singer are..."
Jon was a little miffed that Stephen had been nominated on his own, rather than the four of them being up for Best Group. Still, seeing Stephen's hand wrapped so tightly around his perennial good-luck charm (half of a Best Friends Forever pendant; Jimmy owned the other half) that his knuckles were turning white, Jon really hoped....
The second the name was announced, both Jon and Jimmy had hands clapped over Stephen's mouth, holding him down and muffling what felt like some fire-spitting curses.
"You are very happy for him," hissed Jimmy.
"It was an honor just to be nominated," added Jon sternly.
Tucker just groaned and massaged his temples.
Stephen thrashed and struggled, but it wasn't until he calmed down that they let him out of their grip. "I lost to Barry Manilow?" he said desperately, as if pleading for them to tell him it wasn't true. "I lost to that jerk who couldn't even manage to come in first on American Idol? He's not even with Disney! I don't understand how he's still eligible to be nominated!"
"Yes, yes, it's very unfair," said Jimmy, then grimaced. "Look, I've gotta hit the bathroom — do I have to take you with me, or will you be good for Jon while I'm gone?"
Stephen pouted. "I'll be good."
And he was, remarkably quiet, watching the nearest monitor as Olivia accepted the award for Song of the Year.
When Jimmy got back, he added, with muttered finality, "Didn't want a golden idol anyway."
~*~
In the real world, the song Shout*For was preparing to cover had already been decided on. In their pseudo-real TV world, it was still an open question...at least until the end of this episode.
They had already shot the main scene, a sequence in which the boys sat around in the "Stephen's rec room" set and pitched songs at each other. When each one launched into his song, the show would cut away to a fantasy sequence, filmed in front of a green screen using costumes reminiscent of the tunes' respective movies. Which was why Stephen was currently wearing a tan shirt hemmed with a blocky geometric pattern, slim brown corduroy pants, and a vest and boots hemmed with matching reddish fake fur.
His "real world" self would be getting up from the couch and taking a couple of steps toward the cameras, so on cue, he tried to match that pace in walking toward the screen before whipping around and flashing a grin. "I'm gonna be a mighty king / so enemies beware!" he burst out, feet tapping along as he preened his coif-of-the-day. "Have you ever seen a king of beasts / with quite such pretty hair? / I'm gonna be the mane event / Like no king was before / I'm brushing up, I'm looking down / I'm working on my roar!"
He twirled, shimmied, hips snapping, hands flashing in artful arcs. Half the choreography was scripted and half he was making up on the spot — the others barely even had choreography — but Stephen had rhythm, he had music, he was all over this and then some. "Let every creature go for broke and sing / Let's hear it in the herd and on the wing / It's gonna be King Stephen's finest fling / Oh, I just can't wait to be king~!"
The moment Craig yelled "cut!", a couple of the crew descended on Stephen to offer him a water bottle and dab the sweat from his face. One more take, and they had this one in the can.
Instead of retreating to the changing room, Stephen chilled offstage with the others (and, coincidentally, the snack table), watching the rest of the cutaways. Jimmy, who on the show was constantly trying to matchmake his bandmates with cute girls, would protest that they needed a more romantic song, so his cutaway was to a dreamy-eyed "Tale as old as time...true as it can be...." He got a soft off-white flannel shirt with golden trim and dark brown accessories: someone must have decided it would be a step too far to base his outfit off of Mrs. Potts, and ordered a Lumière theme instead.
Tucker on-show insisted on a song that was about having a love interest rather than watching someone else's, and for his cutaway got to make dramatic gestures and wear a smart grey outfit that was, if you ignored the bow tie, a few chevrons away from looking military. He was singing a version of "A Girl Worth Fighting For", the lyrics tweaked, as Stephen's had been, to make sense with a single voice. After Tucker's first take, Jimmy whispered that he was going to go ahead and hit the showers.
"Why are we including this song anyway?" muttered Jon to Stephen when it was just them. "Isn't the whole point that the singers are being creepy and sexist and patronizing?"
Stephen shrugged. "I guess. But Current did a cover of 'Poor Unfortunate Souls', and the point there was that the singer was evil. This can't be worse."
A few takes later, Tucker was heading off to the showers and Jon was getting his last-minute facial dusting from the makeup techs. On the show Jon's bad-boy aura was underlined with a lot of dangerous-looking silence, and he had spent the whole song-choosing scene sitting back in his chair and being calmly unimpressed. (The real Jon had been smiling during Jimmy's scene and totally enthralled by Stephen's dancing. It was nice that he had better judgment than his fictional counterpart.)
At last show-Jon sat up and shook his head. "You're all wrong," he said, stoic to the core, unsettling his bandmates and, in the real world, the audience. It was a moment of high drama! Will Jon insist on singing something dark, broody, and/or antisocial? Are their tastes just too different to agree on a song to cover? Can this band be saved?!
On the side of the set, Stephen licked Dorito dust off his fingers with a smug smile. Everyone would be all worried, but he knew better. Show-Jon was only doing the lead-in to the current cutaway, which involved a beautiful romantic ballad and the tightest purple T-shirt the Disney Channel had ever let a teen actor get away with.
Standing before the green screen, posture deceptively casual, he took a breath.
"I can show you the world," he crooned. "Shining, shimmering, splendid..."
One finger still in his mouth, Stephen shivered. They had all rehearsed their solos separately, so this was his first chance to really hear Jon working this song.
"...tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?"
And work it Jon did. His voice wrapped around Stephen like a warm, sexy blanket...
"I can open your eyes — take you wonder by wonder...over, sideways, and und—"
...until it went flat. Stephen winced in sympathy.
"Cut!" yelled Craig. "Jon, what was that? Did you rehearse this thing or didn't you?"
"Yes!" Jon looked anxiously between the director and Stephen, running a hand through his hair. "Yes, sorry. I'm good to do this, I swear. I just...."
All of a sudden Craig was looking at Stephen too. "You doing something to distract him?" he demanded.
"It's not that!" said Jon quickly, coming to Stephen's defense. "He's not doing anything. It's just, you know, it is a little distracting when I'm trying to do a serious song and he's sitting over there dressed as a lion." He threw Stephen an awkward grimace. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine!" said Stephen. "I'll go ahead and...go."
Face hot, he stalked off to their dressing room without looking back.
~*~
When the band was supposed to be having a break period, in practice that often meant Stephen was packing up to be rushed off to the movie set. Today, though, Jon came out of the shower to find Stephen waiting alone in the dressing room.
"Hi," stammered Jon, very relieved he'd gotten into the habit of dressing before he came out. "Are you okay? Where are the guys?"
"They're down with the food." Stephen bit his lip. "Jimmy thinks I should talk to you."
"Is this about earlier? Because I really am sorry. It was me being easily distracted, not your fault."
"What? No, don't be silly, this is important," said Stephen. "And you have to keep this an absolute secret, okay?"
Jon took a seat beside him on the low couch, toweling off his hair. "Sure, okay. What is it?"
"I..." Stephen swallowed. "Olivia and I are going to start fake dating."
"Oh."
"We like hanging out for real, so it shouldn't be hard!" added Stephen. "It isn't like she's being forced to fake date Tucker. Although Tucker probably wouldn't need to in the first place...."
"So it's a PR thing?" said Jon, trying to make sure he was keeping up. It was hard to know sometimes, with Stephen. "Your publicists or managers or whoever are trying to hype...the movie? Your careers in general?"
"Both/either," agreed Stephen. "And, um. Jon, I. Remember the night I sent you those badly-spelled texts from Venice?"
Jon grimaced. "Hard to forget something that harrowing."
"I don't know what that means, but I'll take it as a yes," said Stephen. "Well, Jon, I don't want to shock you, but...my actions that night might not have been entirely in compliance with my conscience clause. In a way that PR is hoping to minimize."
Ah. Now it all came together. "So you really did kiss a guy."
"He called me principessa!" cried Stephen. "How was I supposed to resist?"
"Hey, shh, come on, it's okay!" soothed Jon quickly. "I'm not judging you, all right? I think you should be able to kiss whoever you want, and it's crazy that our contracts get to mess with that."
Stephen sniffled a little. "Really?"
"Really. And if you need any help keeping up the fake-girlfriend cover, just let me know, okay?" Between Jon and Jimmy — who had probably seen this coming, given how he'd taken it for granted that Stephen wouldn't start going out with Olivia for real — they might be able to do things like give Stephen an alibi the next time he was spotted making out with a human of the male persuasion.
"Okay," said Stephen. "Then would you...do you think you could...come with me on our first fake date this weekend?"
~*~
Olivia was relieved to see she wasn't the only one who had brought backup.
They piled out of the car in a group and ducked camera flashes on the way into Gloria & Jane's. Olivia and Stephen held hands; they were flanked by Kristen and Jon, with Jon slowed down by hauling a stylish bag that turned out, once they had found a table and gotten settled, to hold an algebra textbook and related papers. "Sorry to check out on you here," he said sheepishly, "but I really have to get this done."
"At least you showed up," said Stephen, patting him on the arm. To Olivia he confided, "Jimmy couldn't even make it! Something about having to spend the day with his family."
"One day, we will get him here and he will understand what he missed," said Olivia solemnly. "Now, today's special is...let's see, ooh, double layer key lime with meringue! That's what I'm getting. You should probably all go for different things so we can share. I can especially recommend the peanut-butter-banana cream, the pecan with chocolate, and the strawberry-rhubarb, but really, anything's good."
"Hang on," said Jon, looking up from his menu. "I thought this was dinner. Were we supposed to have already eaten?"
Olivia blinked at him. "Of course not! That would have filled you up too much to take full advantage of the pie selection."
"You can order for me," Kristen offered. She was ignoring the menu in favor of her phone, absorbed in Twitter. Olivia had probably brought her here enough to know the kitchen's repertoire by heart anyway. "As far as dessert goes, I mean. For food I'll have the turkey melt."
Stephen, paging through his own menu, suddenly gave a start. "What are these?" he demanded. "Dutch apple pie? Swedish apple pie?"
"Their Dutch is made with cinnamon," explained Olivia, "and—"
"I don't care what they're made of!" cried Stephen. "It's an outrage. An affront. The only kind of apple pie this establishment should be serving is American! I want to talk to the manager."
"I'll see if I can get one of them to come out later," Olivia assured him. "For now, chill out so we can order."
There was a general silence when the food came. Stephen got a full-size entrée and was busy wolfing it down; Jon picked at his fish fingers with one hand and his phone's calculator app with the other; Kristen kept an eye on the scrolling wall of tweets; and Olivia, well, her key lime had arrived.
"Mmrgh!" exclaimed Kristen suddenly. She covered her mouth, chewed quickly, and swallowed before making the announcement. "We're on Gawker!"
Olivia leaned over her shoulder. "Ooh, let me see."
"Well, you're on Gawker," corrected Kristen after a minute. "You and Stephen...you, Stephen, and Jon...you and Stephen...ooh, you can see my foot in that one...aha! There's one with all of us." Satisfied, she handed it around so they could all get a look at the slideshow.
"Eurgh," said Olivia, making a face. "How come nobody told me this lipstick looked terrible?"
"At least you're graceful," said Jon. "I look like some kind of shambling golem in comparison."
"You do not," Stephen assured him.
"Hey, thanks."
"If anything, with the way you're clinging to this bag, you look like a drug smuggler."
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom and wipe this mouth off," announced Olivia abruptly. She winked at Stephen. "Want me to get any of it on your collar first?"
Stephen recoiled. "Are you insane? This shirt is Ralph Lauren!"
~*~
Stephen did get to meet one of the managers before they left. Jane listened to a moment or two of speechifying, then flustered him into silence with a kiss on the cheek, and announced that they would love to make an American apple pie just for him. Also, they would love to put his name on it, so he should have his people give them a call.
There were fewer gawkers with cameras when the group came out of the restaurant, to Jon's profound relief. He'd also knocked out a couple of homework problems, tasted some pretty delicious pie, and had friends around to support him through Kristen's real-time reporting as their photos and associated gossip spread across the Internet.
"Well! That was fun," announced Kristen as they piled into the car. She leered at Jon, or tried to; her face was too gosh-darn adorable for it to have the usual effect. "Hey, if you and me started fake dating, we could do fake double dates all the time."
"I'll pass," giggled Jon. "But I appreciate the offer."
"Aww. At least let me have your number? Maybe we can hang out sometimes while these two are busy being famous."
"Sure, why not." Jon rattled off the digits, fumbling in his bag for his own phone. "I'll get yours too. Just a second...."
Stephen pouted. "Doesn't anybody want my number?"
"Already got it," chorused Jon and Olivia.
"I'll take it, though!" exclaimed Kristen, bouncing in her seat.
By the time she had finished entering Stephen as a contact, Jon had turned his bag inside out and moved on to patting his pockets. No luck. And he knew he'd had it at dinner; he'd been using it to do the homework.
"Um, guys?" he said shakily. "I think we may have a problem."