Mix - Fake News: Pollyanna Flower Child

[ptahrrific]

Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: Liberal!"Stephen"
Title: Pollyanna Flower Child

It's not that hard to figure out liberal!Stephen. All you have to do is take traits of the regular Stephen and invert them. Like so...

(Cover art.)

Five Man Electrical Band - Signs
This is l!Stephen in a nutshell...including the story of how he first got hired on The Daily Show back in 1997.

And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I took off my hat, and said, Imagine that! Me, working for you!

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign

And the sign said anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and yelled at the house, Hey! what gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep Mother Nature in
If God was here, he'd tell you to your face, man, you're some kinda sinner



Sandi Thorn - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker
While c!Stephen waxes nostalgic for the father-knows-best fifties, l!Stephen longs for the psychedelic sixties and seventies.

Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late to a world that doesn’t care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

When the head of state didn’t play guitar
Not everybody drove a car
When music really mattered and radio was king
When accountants didn’t have control
And the media couldn’t buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn’t know everything



David Crosby - Almost Cut My Hair
The retort to c!Stephen's shouts of "Get a haircut, hippie!"

Almost cut my hair
It happened just the other day
It's gettin' kind of long
I could've said it was in my way

But I didn't and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly



They Might Be Giants - Science Is Real
Instead of denying any facts that conflict with his beliefs, he adores science...to the point of getting a bit Anvilicious about it.

Science is real
From anatomy to geology
Science is real
From astrophysics to biology
A scientific theory
Isn't just a hunch or guess
It's more like a question
That's been put through a lot of tests
And when a theory emerges
Consistent with the facts
The proof is with science
The truth is with science



West Side Story - Gee, Officer Krupke
The counterpart to c!Stephen's by-your-own-bootstraps philosophy is l!Stephen's conviction that nobody should ever be held responsible for anything.

RIFF (to "Judge"):
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all the marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!

DIESEL ("Judge"):
Right!
Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologic'ly disturbed...

ACTION ("psychiatrist"):
In my opinion this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all.
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease!

RIFF: Hey, I got a social disease!



Relient K - Failure To Excommunicate
Speaking of religion, l!Stephen hasn't been a Catholic for a long time now.

It's the principle
It's the issue
That your principal
Would dismiss you
Because you don't fit into that all-American box
That coffin created for creative thought...

Jesus loved the outcasts
He loves the ones the world just loves to hate
And as long as there's a heaven
There'll be a failure to excommunicate



Garbage - Sex Is Not The Enemy
The triumphant flip side of c!Stephen's "If you don't feel deeply ashamed, you're not doing it right."

I don't feel guilty
No matter what they're telling me
I won't feel dirty and buy into their misery
I won't be shamed cause I believe that love is free
It fuels the heart and sex is not my enemy



Savage Garden - Affirmation
Heart and soul.

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma, what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedding bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death unto eternity



Kris Allen - No Boundaries
Okay, so l!Stephen has some boundary issues. (Too few, instead of too many.)

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule



Dave Mason - We Just Disagree
And an almost pathological inability to say "I think you're wrong."

So let's leave it alone
'Cause we can't see eye to eye
There ain't no good guys
There ain't no bad guys
There's only you and me and we just disagree



Alanis Morissette - Pollyanna Flower
All of which leaves him with a whole lot of unprocessed anger...which, as if that weren't complicated enough, is tied up with a secret kink for dominance.

Between a broken nose and a fake smile
Between piety and gun powder
Between fighting and fleeing the scene
Between murder and diplomacy...

What am I to do with all this fire?
(I'd like to hate you but I'd never hate you)
Why are you still with me in this red space?
(I'd like to slap you but I'd never slap you)

Between violence and silently seething
Between my fist and my Pollyanna flower
Between "fuck you" to your face and it's alright
Between war and denial



Rush - Freewill
Blind obedience to authority isn't all that different from than universal forced neutrality. Both c!Stephen's us-or-them paranoia and l!Stephen's self-erasure in the name of tolerance are leading towards the same end: holding them back from really being themselves.

You can choose a ready guide
In some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice
You can choose from phantom fears
And kindness that can kill
I will choose a path that's clear
I will choose free will

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Comments

[wishflower4.livejournal.com]

You always pick such wonderful music for these! And the cover art is exquisite.

[ptahrrific]

I have a whole folder of songs for l!Stephen. There's still a mix and a half left to go. It's kind of ridiculous.

[sarcasticsra]

Oh, damn, that "Pollyanna Flower" song is just eerily perfect. Damn. Awesome! *steals*

[ptahrrific]

Isn't it, though? I tend to think of about half of Alanis Morrissette's ouvre as "Stephen" songs, but that one is l!Stephen all over.

[aybara_max]

Hee, this is so much fun! L!Stephen lends himself quite well to a fanmix, and I love how you covered so many different aspects of him. Thanks for sharing! ::downloads::

[pseudo_tsuga]

This is all spot-on especially "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker". It reminded me of all my classmates who are notsalgic for the good days (what good days, you idiots, stop lionizing the past, grumblemumble)

[ptahrrific]

Well, I don't know about you, but my childhood happened during the Golden Age of America, and why can't we just go back to that?

:P

[chatananas]

This is magnificent and makes me love liberal Stephen even more! I'm snagging the whole thing, thank you for compiling this.

[gaudy-night.livejournal.com]

Downloading this! Very excited to listen to your choices. And as always, I adore you for packaging it nice and pretty for us! :)