ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Collar U
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", background Olivia/Kristen and Steve/Nancy, other correspondents, Jane Fonda
Contents: Sexual predator Jane Fonda.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

D/sverse, high school/college AU. Stephen's family doesn't believe in sending uncollared submissives to college, so Jon offers to collar him, at least through graduation. Cue a year of awkward deception, GSA shenanigans, platonic bed-sharing, one threatening incident with a certain pushy senior, and the triumph of the power of unrecognized romantic attraction friendship.

One of the shorter entries for my [community profile] longfic_bingo card, prompt "collar" or "pretend relationship". (This is Stephen's collar, by the way [source].) Mirror on the AO3.

'Who the hell gets collared at seventeen — sorry, seventeen and a half — these days? What do they expect you to do, work retail until you meet a cute dom in the checkout line?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Shout*For [Table of Contents]
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", "Stephen"/OCs, Jimmy Fallon, Olivia/Kristen, Wyatt, Tucker Carlson, Brian Williams, Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Anthony Weiner, other correspondents and cameos, a few OCs.
Rating: through R
Contents: Drinking/drugs, awful and/or neglectful adults, background *isms, teen/teen sexuality, sexual abuse of a minor.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Fake news AU. Our heroes (and some villains) (and some imports from The Newsroom) are all performers in various blocs of the Disney tween music/TV/movie empire, which naturally is amazingly screwed-up behind the scenes.

Jon and "Stephen" are in a manufactured boy band with Jimmy and Tucker. They're about to get some cross-promotion with Olivia, the local equivalent of Miley Cyrus. These kids are only thrown together based on whatever will get the best publicity, but there are still genuine Best Friendships Forever to be forged...which is good, because with high-pressure careers in the fishbowl of celebrity, sometimes friends are the only thing that keep you going.

Chapters and bonus material )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: I Got 99 Problems, But The Truth Ain't One
Rating: Through PG-13
Cast: "Stephen", Jon, Olivia, Kristen, Wyatt, Al, Elliot, Neil Degrasse Tyson, liberal!Stephen, John Oliver, Jessica, Jimmy, Rob Corddry, Tad, Ed Helms, Sam, Jason, Patrick Stewart, Al
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A compilation of single-sentence fics, written for prompt threads over several months until I cut them off after #100. Including lots of characters, various AUs, and two mini-continuities (one about "Stephen" recovering from an accident, one about his wife kicking him out).

Mirror on the AO3.


John declares his side to be Team Glasses, Wyatt counters by establishing Team Beard (and declaring Jon an honorary member), and they never actually get around to the game, what with spending most of the afternoon arguing which side gets to claim Al. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: I Am Qumarica (And So Can You!)
Rating: Through R
Contents: Slavery, humiliation, attempted murder, consent issues of all kinds
Characters/pairings: Primarily Jon/"Stephen", Olivia/Kristen, and Sam/Jason, with others
Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Loosely connected tales from the AU where Jon owns a harem, with a bunch of the correspondents as his concubines. Featuring idficcy sex slavery for some, snark and wary self-sufficiency for others, a dark!Jon struggling to redeem himself, and a background of vaguely cutthroat political infighting.

Takes place in a fictional empire called Qumarica, a play on the fictional state of Qumar in The West Wing (h/t [personal profile] politicette for the idea). Thus the title.

Stories and artwork )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: What Do You Wear To A Geek Wedding, Anyway?
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Olivia & family, Aasif, background Olivia/Kristen and Kristen/Rich
Warnings: Mental health issues (anxiety, OCD)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Olivia's a bridesmaid at her girlfriend's wedding. It's not great for her insecurities. Luckily, she has an Asian-ish friend around to give her a pep talk.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "panic attacks".

If you hadn't read the right Uncanny X-Men issues, you would have no idea that Emma Frost had ever worn something as modest as Kristen's bridal gown. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Give me a character or pairing and I will write snippets of ten different alternate universes for it. One line, ten lines, a ficlet if you're lucky.

01. Wild West
02. Cyberpunk
03. Shapeshifters
04. Pirates
05. …In SPACE!!
06. Born Another Gender
07. Schoolfic
08. Police/Firefighters
09. Urban Fantasy
10. Harem

Fandoms I'm up for writing: fake news, Hellsing, Doctor Who, Madoka Magica, Sailor Moon, But I'm A Cat Person, Read or Die, Tek Jansen. (Feel free to suggest an alternate for "IN SPACE" if you ask for a character who's canonically there!)


FILLS

Doctor Who

+Ten Doctors, Ten AUs (Teaspoon | AO3) (Jack, One through Ten, Ace, Romana, Rose | PG)
+What This AU Needs Is More Nitro-9 (Teaspoon | AO3) (Ace, Seven | G)

Fake News
+Ten Wyatt&Jessica AUs (Wyatt, Jessica | PG)
+It's What Lincoln Would Have AU'd (Jon, "Stephen", the Wørd, Charlene, Neil, Kilborn, Oprah | through R)
+Ten Olivia/Kristen AUs (Olivia/Kristen, Jon, "Stephen", correspondents | through PG-13)
Note: all three fakenews harem AUs are part of the same continuity.

Read Or Die
+AUs From Beyond The Ceiling (AO3) (Nenene/Yomiko, Maggie, Michelle, Anita, Junior, Nancy | through PG)
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: In Summer's Parching Heat
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen (pre-femslash), Jon(/"Stephen"), John Oliver, Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Teen-through-young-adult AU: Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are gay dog groomers in California, while Olivia and company are eighth graders nearby. Oh, and a cute new British kid just transferred into their class. And Kristen maybe likes him?? Drama!

Wildly out-of-season, I know, but I needed a last-minute fill for the [community profile] hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "heat stroke."

'I've just moved here from England, so you're welcome to ask me any questions you have in preparation for our inevitable re-conquest of your charming little nation. Cheerio.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: When You Love Someone (And/Or Their Giant Head)
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Various correspondent pairings
Warnings: Interspecies romance?
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For [livejournal.com profile] gaudy_night, prompt: "023. Lovers." Featuring...pretty much everything except Jon/"Stephen".

Clips referenced: Kristen; Larry and Aasif; Tad; appletinis; BriWi.

Kristen finds a fantastic family-owned hole-in-the-wall pie place, and refuses to tell Olivia where it is. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Prawn Today, Hair Tomorrow
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Rounding the week off with a belated fill for the prompt "Irresistible," from [livejournal.com profile] colbertstark6.

'Don't lie. You've been checking out my hair all morning.' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Daily Show
Subject: Kristen Schaal/Olivia Munn
Title: You Were Born For Stardom's Crown

Olivia's fiery hotness often obscures the fact that she is a raging geek. Kristen is an adorable ginormous dork even when she's writing a sex book. Now watch me turn these facts into a shippy mix about Olivia's ascent to TDS, in defiance of the fact that they have yet to appear on screen together.

Graphic textures; cover art.

ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Series: Fake News; Hodgmanverse; various crossover shoutouts
Rating: Through R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See individual chapters
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", past "Stephen"/O'Reilly; Larry/John Oliver; Olivia/Kristen; ensemble cast

Tales from a magical mystical medieval AU, full of gratuitous glowing gemstones and golden glasses. If you have a thing for rich and detailed original worldbuilding, this may not be the 'verse for you. If you're in the mood for soulbonds, unicorns, and a whole lot of magic jewels, you've come to the right place.

♘ Castle Down

TDS meets slavefic meets Princess Gwenivere and the Jewel Riders, with just a dash of mole-men.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Illustrations


♘ Castle Walls

The love story of a foreign princess and a fire mage, featuring kidnappers, wizardry, and scanlators.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Illustrations


Castle Crossing

A one-shot crossover with the canon TDS/TCR world. Just for fun, not part of the continuity.


♘ Castles In The Sand

As per fantasy convention, it's time for our heroes to hire a ship and set sail for the End of the World.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue
Illustrations I
Illustrations II
Beta'd by the endlessly helpful [personal profile] queenfanfiction.
Fills a square on my [community profile] hc_bingo card.


Stone By Stone

A one-shot that flashes back to Stephen's life in Vulpis. Also, a 30 Rock crossover. Just because.


♘ Extras

Castle Chibis (art)
Turrets & Moats (soundtrack)
Battered Rose (non-canon alternate ending to Castles In The Sand)

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Erin Ptah

January 2019

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