ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Sweetness Follows; or, The Remarkably Low-Angst Transition of Joan Stewart
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, transphobia, references to bullying, bad accents, outrageous drag names.
Characters/pairings: Jo(a)n(/Tracey), "Stephen", John Oliver, Wyatt, Kristen
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

What it says on the tin. Jon switches names, starts on hormones, deals with mood swings, and gets support from almost all quarters, in the office and out. Stephen has a rocky time with the whole idea, but who didn't see that coming?

Last-minute amnesty fill for [community profile] queer_fest, for the prompt: (skip) Any fandom, any MtF character, why she doesn't want surgery--a girl can have a penis dammit! This should NOT be a problem!

In spite of the timing, it's been in progress since back when that was an [community profile] lgbtfest prompt. Takes place around spring/summer of 2009.

Outtakes including Jo(a)n's family: The Clownfish Files. Related stories: Transverse

'Do you know how rare true ballsiness is? How could you jeopardize our country by making that resource even more scarce? And in a time of war, too! I should call Homeland Security on you!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The DM of +4 Ohana
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Swearing, foreplay, references to IRL childhood angst, corruption of the youth
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Jon[athan], Olivia, Kristen, Demetri, Wyatt, Sam(/Jason)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For the prompt "Fixed" from [personal profile] politicette. Trouble threatens to break up the most beautiful gay dog-grooming couple in all of 1980's California. Can Olivia, with the help of her quirky multi-ethnic posse, figure out a way to save it?

Or, more seriously: a story about three people trying to find a way to balance each other out, plus the friends who play D&D with them.

'Their love is beautiful and true like a Disney movie. Stephen even has pretty princess eyelashes! They're meant to be!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Riding the Love Train to Sanitytown
Rating: PG-13 (innuendo)
Characters/pairings: Established Jon/"Stephen" (wifeless AU), a crowd of twelve ten million six billion, various special guests
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Jon Stewart represents us at our most aspirational. Stephen Colbert represents us as we truly are: patriotic, God-fearing, and easily confused.
Michael Brett

As bunnied by [personal profile] kribban, who was disappointed with the lack of rally!fic. Features one IRL kid, lots of drama (including character "death") from Stephen, some unexplained symbolism, a few sudden tense shifts, and unsubtle authorial love for Jon's speech and the Rally in general.

Mirror on the AO3.

Now with a coda (will spoil the fic) by [personal profile] queenfanfiction!

Stephen has a way with bunkers. Colbunkers, nuclear bunkers, Archie Bunker...he's a bunker-thusiast, is the general idea. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The Sword In His Mouth: Prologue (0/4)
Rating: PG
Warnings: D/s (obviously!); mild religious content; gratuitous meta
Disclaimers: This is a work of parody. Although references is made to real persons, places, and events, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. Fictional characters are property of The Colbert Report and its writers. All LJ usernames are fictional. Any resemblance to real LJ users, active or strikethrough'd, is purely coincidental.

So, um, this is a bit crack. Half actual story, half...some kind of parody. (I'll leave it up to the reader to figure out how much of it is self-parody.)

This is a fic about the fic produced by the fandom in the 'verse of the fic The Way Things Need To Be, by the ever-excellent [personal profile] sarcasticsra. Social relationships are arranged in terms of Doms and subs rather than men and women; BriWi/Jon just became canon; and Stephen plays a character who is a straight closeted sub, about whom people write fic. (It'll all make sense when you read it. I hope.)

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue

'The Colb-lar! Available in the Comedy Central store, just as soon as we can find a manufacturer willing to produce them. What better way to tell your sub, 'Yes, you belong to me, but your first allegiance is the Colbert Nation'?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Five Gifts Stephen Gave Jon, Because It's No More Than He Deserved, And It Was Nothing, Really
Rating: PG
Contents: A very sexy massage.
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!"Stephen", that puppy again
Two disclaimers, with love )

Summary: Where the regular version of "Stephen" is stingy, self-absorbed, and demanding, the AU liberal version is generous, thoughtful, and giving. Also, has a bit of a kink for caretaking. From his and Jon's first live broadcast to their first night together.

Mirror on the AO3.

'Uh, Stephen? The whole reason college kids offer each other backrubs is to get in each other's pants.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Puppy Love (3/3)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Sex talk, panicking Stephen
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!"Stephen"
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: The conclusion of this bit of the Liberalverse. Jon has always encouraged Stephen to develop healthy boundaries, but he never expected to find himself outside of them.

(Okay, a little bit of neuroses-and-despair may have slipped into this one. But the ending is happy, never fear.)

There's also some rambling about l!Stephen's characterization, over here.

'I just found out that I am apparently the only person on the planet you won't jump into bed with. What could possibly be upsetting about that?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Puppy Love (2/3)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Steamy scenes, mention of mildly blasphemous sex toys, dangerously cute puppies
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!"Stephen", past liberal!"Stephen"/Anderson, the puppy again
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: The Liberalverse marches on. Jon insists on putting Stephen through an archaic and limiting system of courtship — or, as he calls it, "being treated like a gentleman." Stephen doesn't understand why they can't just get on to the free love, already. But for some reason he's willing to put up with all kinds of silly proprieties when Jon is involved...

There's a round of sketches here (mildly spoilery if you haven't read up to the last chapter).

Jon made a mental note to find out just how many nude images of Stephen there were on the Internet, anyway. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Puppy Love (1/3)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Mentions of sex, sensitive subjects, bizarrely flavored contraceptives, NAMBLA
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!"Stephen", past liberal!"Stephen"/teacher, a puppy
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Another story from the Liberalverse. Jon finally breaks the repressive shackles of the patriarchy by getting a divorce. Surely this means he'll be ready to jump into bed with Stephen now, right? Right?

As demanded by [personal profile] deepad: "Happy ending! Gay rainbow liberal puppies! Jon refusing to put out until he is convinced Stephen won't go on Oprah to talk about it after!"

Mirror on the AO3.

'I thought you'd be upset! I thought you'd be hurt and sad and want something to help you feel better! And sex always makes me feel better!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Stay (4/4)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Nothing that hasn't been in the story already.
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Sam/Jason, Scarborough, Aasif
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Senateverse. Stephen comes home.

(See also the author's notes for research and commentary.)

'Look at this! Would I have let someone perpetuate this horror on my beautiful hair for anyone less than our soldiers?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Stay (3/4)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Gay stuff, more peril
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Rob R., Sam/Jason, Scarborough, Aasif
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Senateverse. Morning Joe weighs in; Stephen makes a purchase; soldiers give nonanswers about DADT; Jason checks in from Tehran; Jon gives nonanswers about Stephen.

Note that this was written, and takes place, more than a week ago, before things fell apart in our!Iran. I would hold off on posting, but I don't know if there will ever be a "good time" to post it, so here it is. And please keep an eye on the news, if you aren't already.

(Yeah, I know, that may be a superfluous request to make of TDS fans. Still.)


Okay, so it looked kind of like a muffler. But the local vendor he had bought it from assured him it was a gun. At least, that's what Stephen assumed the man had said. He just hoped Sweetness wouldn't be jealous. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Stay (2/4)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Shocking haircuts, mortal peril
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Rob R., Sam/Jason, Scarborough, Aasif
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Senateverse. While Jon follows along at home, Stephen embarks on a whirlwind tour of Iraq, complete with a haircut courtesy of Commanding General Rob Riggle.

Yes, I did put Senateverse!Rob in the Army instead of the Marines. Military readers, please don't kill me.


'You're not going to make me give up my exfoliating loofah, are you? Or my raspberry-scented hair gel?' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Stay (1/4)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Yelling, Googlebombs.
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Rob R., Sam/Jason, Scarborough, Aasif
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Senateverse. The blogosphere loves how Jon carried himself in that hearing against CNBC. Stephen is less approving. But when Jon reacts by accusing him of not caring about anyone but himself, he'll have to take drastic measures to prove otherwise.

Carries on the Emmy Rossum song naming theme. (The lyrics don't match very well this time, but the title will keep coming up.)

'Have you really not Googled yourself in the past eight hours?' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: The Lepidopterist
Rating: PG (sexual references)
Characters/pairings: Jon, liberal!"Stephen", Larry, Rob R., John-O, Wyatt, Aasif, Jason, Kristen, an elephant
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: More from the liberal!"Stephen" AU. In which Stephen is inquisitive to the point of offensiveness, Jon runs low on forks, and Larry is not as scary as he thinks he is (but every bit as devious).

(Precedes A Modest Proposition, which is why Stephen by that point has a bit more of a clue.)


'I'm a Zen Taoist Wiccan Discordian, but it's not quite the same, you know?' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, violence, injury, allusions to past skeeviness, Stephen being Stephen (yes, still).
Characters/pairings: Jon, liberal!"Stephen" (one-sided shippiness)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Missed the sign-up window for [livejournal.com profile] lgbtfest, but this prompt was left an orphan, so I decided to take a crack at it: 1081. Per 10-02-07, we have a canon AU in which "Stephen" is ~fabulously~ liberal. What does his sexuality mean in that universe?

Since conservative "Stephen" is repressed, authoritarian, and narrowminded, liberal "Stephen" is overexpressive, permissive, and, as Robert Frost put it, too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. This was supposed to be amusing, but got kind of depressing at the end. Whoops.

Liberalverse Index | Mirror on the AO3

(Can I say how much it amuses me that one of the edits to Wikipedia's "International Friendship Day" page was made by a user named Bramlet Abercrombie? Random crossovers FTW.)

'I was only helping them break out of society's limiting notions of sexuality! Specifically, the limit that says you're not allowed to explore it with your handsome and dashing boss.' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: George's World
Rating: PG/PG-13
Warnings: Tantrums, time snarls, scaring, swearing, character death (he gets better), character deconstruction, subtle reference to childhood abuse, general mindf@#kery
Series: The Colbert Report, Doctor Who

A wildly self-indulgent AU crossover between two fic 'verses. Posted in the hopes that someone else will find it half as entertaining as I do.

Jack, Ten, and teenage Stephen, from Truthiness And Relative Dimensions In Space, make an accidental hop and end up in the Expectingverse — just in time for a creepy temporal phenomenon to tear the groups apart. Can ickle!Stephen take care of five-year-old George? Can the Doctor earn the trust of George's very panicky father? Will Jack stop making dying look sexy? (...probably not.)

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Adorable George art by [livejournal.com profile] punkishgrin
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The Great Divide (3/3)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: More swearing, more gay stuff, ladle violence
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", references to ensemble, potato pancakes
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: In which Senator Colbert is all over the emotional map, and Senator Stewart is Zen with a side of Zen topped with a creamy Zen frosting.

Features shoutouts to everything from A Colbert Christmas to Stephen's Twitter ([livejournal.com profile] stephenathome) - again, [livejournal.com profile] rissaofthesaiya provides specifics. For the lead-up to this, see the Senateverse index.

(By the way, if anyone else wants to play around in this AU, have at it! No reason one author should have all the fun.)


Help me calm this hurricane )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The Great Divide (2/3)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mild swearing, gay stuff, violence against BlackBerries, inaccurate medical information*.
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", references to ensemble
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: In spite of the increasing friction (of the non-steamy kind) between them, Senator Stewart and Senator Colbert manage to visit the result of Colbert's lone bipartisan effort.

Was supposed to be two parts, but it went and grew on me. Continuation of the Senateverse.

Have purloined the STEPHEN WRITES IN ALL CAPS trope, because it is delightful. Also, this part refers to tons of clips, which [livejournal.com profile] rissaofthesaiya was kind enough to hunt down.

*Object permanence is not actually a concern correlated with the autism spectrum. When that comes up in the story, "narrative convenience" takes precedence over "what is, technically, true". Don't use this as a source for your autism research, is what I'm saying.

See the war behind your eyes )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The Great Divide (1/3)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, sexual harassment, epic skate-off
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen" (preslash), references to ensemble, cameo by Rain (RAAAAIN!!!)
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Continuation of the Senateverse. Stephen Colbert (R-SC) has the worst record for bipartisanship in recent history. Jon Stewart (D-NY) did convince him to cross the aisle one time, but does that mean they'll be able to survive a three-week vacation together?

Title, again, is from an Emmy Rossum song [lyrics]. Rather than hire lots of OCs, Jon has borrowed his household staff from the Möders family.

Reach across the great divide )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Five Times Chuck And Stephen Had Sex (Mostly With Each Other)
Rating: R
Pairings: "Stephen"/OMC, "Stephen"/Chuck, Chuck/Geoffrey
Contents: Sex, language, alcohol, injuries, teacher/student kink, bondage, damaged people damaging each other, obscure 1984 reference

One last Secret Santa prompt from [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic: Chuck/"Stephen", lots of sex.

Five scenes with Chuck and Stephen, featuring leather-clad bikers, bar fights, kinky sex, Madame Precious dolls, and a bit of Geoffrey and Seamus.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Five Times Chuck And Stephen Had Sex (Mostly With Each Other) )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Slow Me Down
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language; adult diapers; nitpicky details of Senatorial procedure
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Sam, Larry, John-O, Lewis, Kristen, others
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

They didn't think anybody would be obtuse enough to filibuster this one. They underestimated Stephen Colbert (R-SC).

For a Secret Santa prompt requesting Jon/"Stephen" in an AU with no families, in which they're not necessarily newsmen - thus spawning the Senateverse. Title is Emmy Rossum's [lyrics]. Some lines are from this ThreatDown and this "overnight" broadcast.

'We co-sponsored one bill! Why does everyone think that makes us BFFs?' )

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Erin Ptah

January 2019

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