ptahrrific: Madoka preparing to take on Walpurgis (madoka magica)
Title: Duet in Ph.D. Minor
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Madoka/Sayaka
Rating: NC-17
Contents: Sex
Disclaimer: MadoMagi isn't mine. Sad but true.

From the prompt meme over at [livejournal.com profile] madokamagica. From [livejournal.com profile] burnaroundme: "I want some porny post-series Madoka/Sayaka. Just because. Go to town."

Also here on the AO3.

For once, Sayaka hadn't called any of her fellow doctoral students before taking off to the bar. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: The Marble Monuments of Oz
Rating: PG
Cast: Ozma, Eureka, Dorothy(/OFC), Toto, the Gump, the Scarecrow
Contents: Character death (arguably). Major spoilers through The Patchwork Girl of Oz (book 7).
Disclaimer: I didn't create these characters...not that it matters. Public domain FTW.

A somber event forces a couple of Ozians to struggle with their feelings about (im)mortality.

Attempts to wrangle, if not reconcile, canon's various inconsistencies and retcons on the subject. For [community profile] hc_bingo, May '12 challenge, prompt "death." Also on the AO3.

'Dorothy knows adventures better than anyone. You might trust her on that, at a time like this or any other.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Spell Me Once, Shame On You
Fandoms: Fake News/Harry Potter
Cast: Jon/"Stephen" (with a dash of Olivia)
Rating: R
Warnings: Non-con by magic, (skip) or so it seems

Stephen Colbert, Gryffindor fifth-year, sneaks a totally guaranteed black-market love potion into Jon's lunch. Part of its guarantee is that if it's not countered by the antidote potion within under an hour, the effects will be permanent. Oh, and, turns out it's really more of a lust potion. Possibly Stephen should have thought this one through a little more.

For my April mini-challenge card in [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "accidental mating for life." Characters' houses and wands are those described in Fake News Quidditch Rumble.

He didn't see blood purity, of course, but people told him he was from an old and respected wizarding family, and he believed it because he didn't understand the point of trousers. )
ptahrrific: Madoka preparing to take on Walpurgis (madoka magica)
Title: But She Talks Like A Gentle Soul
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Moemura, ???
Rating: G
Disclaimer: MadoMagi isn't mine. Sad but true.

A five-year-old Homura decides to run away and live in the woods. This is an excellent and well-crafted plan that cannot possibly go wrong.

For the [community profile] hc_bingo February mini-challenge, prompts wild card: orphans, unrequited pining, lost childhood, and stalkers. Title is from the genderflipped cover of "When You Were Young." Also here on the AO3.

Also there was someone following her. Homura was pretty sure it wasn't a wolf, but maybe it was a really tall wolf, and even if it was a person, people could be scary too. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: We'll Always Have New York
Rating: PG-13 (vague sex)
Pairing: "Stephen"/Jon, Whiskers, Other Whiskers (2/21/12)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Inspired by a kink meme prompt: "Chris Christie vetoes the NJ gay marriage bill, and NJ resident "Stephen" wants Jon to know he isn't completely and utterly devastated by the news. Really, he's not. Even as he cries himself to sleep at night in his lover's comforting arms."

Posting as an ordinary fic because it didn't come out particularly kinky. Although it does have chocolate. And kittens.

Mirror on the AO3.

Jon found Stephen tapping his foot in front of the stove, a half-empty bag of chocolate chips in one hand and a batter-dripping spoon in the other. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: In Summer's Parching Heat
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen (pre-femslash), Jon(/"Stephen"), John Oliver, Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Teen-through-young-adult AU: Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are gay dog groomers in California, while Olivia and company are eighth graders nearby. Oh, and a cute new British kid just transferred into their class. And Kristen maybe likes him?? Drama!

Wildly out-of-season, I know, but I needed a last-minute fill for the [community profile] hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "heat stroke."

'I've just moved here from England, so you're welcome to ask me any questions you have in preparation for our inevitable re-conquest of your charming little nation. Cheerio.' )
ptahrrific: Madoka preparing to take on Walpurgis (madoka magica)
Title: And The Other's Gold
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Homura(/Madoka), Mami, Kyouko
Rating: PG
Contents: Canon character death; spoilers for everything.
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Although if I had a wish...

Homura met Mami only a short while after she met Madoka. So why are their relationships so different?

For the Magical Girl Fic/Art Swap 2011; also here on the AO3.

Time snaps to a halt so she can yank the golden gem from the feather in Mami's cap, then turn and run down the bridge as fast as she's able. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Chilling
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Vampirism, hypnotism
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In honor of Halloween, have a bit more of the Eagle of Hermes 'verse, shortly after the attacks of '99. Jon's never done this before, so he's a little nervous. In trying to make it good for him, Stephen accidentally overdoes it on the hypnosis.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "brainwashing". Mirror on the AO3.

'I'll take half a pint, and not a drop more. You might not appreciate it — few people do — but my self-control is legendary.' )
ptahrrific: I want a girl with fingernails that shine like justice. (sailor moon)
Title: Five (And Then Some) Heart Crystals The Death Busters Never Stole
Fandoms: Sailor Moon and crossovers: The Daily Show, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, His Dark Materials, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Kaolinite, Eudial, Mimete, Viluy; Jon, Olivia, "Stephen"; Homura/Madoka; Lyra, Pan; Sharon, Roslin, Tory, Tigh; Four, Sarah Jane
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoils ALL THE THINGS, especially MadoMagi, HDM, and BSG.
Disclaimer: Not a single one of these series is mine. More's the pity.

What it says on the tin. Heart crystals that Kaolinite and the Witches 5 would have gone after, if only they'd existed in the same series.

Most of these involve AU versions of the crossover characters' canon settings. Just pretend those years and areas were the ones in which the Death Busters set up shop...and then ignore all the continuity issues that brings up ^_^;

For my round 2 [community profile] hc_bingo card, prompts "experiments by evil scientists" and "headaches/migraines".

'I'm Jon Stewart, and, folks, we have a fantastic program for you tonight. Our guest is Souichi Tomoe...' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Patient
Fandom: The Wizard of Oz books
Characters/Pairings: Dorothy/Ozma, Henry/Em, Oscar Diggs, ensemble
Rating: PG
Warnings: See summary.

Dorothy Gale, age seventeen, wakes up in a mental hospital with no memory of the past eight years.

For my round 2 [community profile] hc_bingo card, prompt "amnesia". (And on that note: Bingo!)

'The doctor says you aren't to overload her. How are you feeling, sweetheart?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Open Heart
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Jon/Tracey, Tracey/Charlene, Tad/Bobby, Olivia, families, OCs
Warnings: (skip) heart attack (nobody dies)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Part of the Expectingverse, from the spring before The Interview. The Stewart and Colbert families have practically moved in together, but most of the world still doesn't see Jon and Stephen's relationship for what it is. Stephen thought he'd be okay with that. When Jon has to be rushed to the hospital, he thinks again.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo card, prompt "invisibility."

It wasn't easy to defy the pleading of a dozen eager children, but after three innings Jon begged a rest and all but staggered over to one of Stephen's wicker lawn chairs to catch his breath. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Gimme Shelter
Fandom: United States of Tara
Characters/Pairings: Tara and the alters; canon pairings
Rating: R
Warnings: As with the show: deals with rape, child abuse, violence, language, bodily fluids.

Vaguely AU to Season 3, heavier on the listening and comforting, lighter on the shouting and gratuitous pseudo-violence. Also, with no alter!Bryce.

Instead of flailing around blindly when it comes to dealing with her system, Tara's trying to approach them with something like sidian3's 5 Steps to Cooperation (communication, reassurance, understanding, structure, and cooperation). Gimme-centric, but everyone gets their moments.

Written for my [community profile] hc_bingo card, prompt "major illness" (DID). Alice's book is Four Little Puppies (1935).

Tara walks their body to the local library, tries to listen to her instincts while they browse the children's shelf, and ends up with a stack of picture books sitting beside her at the window. )
ptahrrific: Madoka preparing to take on Walpurgis (madoka magica)
Check it out, everybody, Madokafic :D

Title: Ein ganz besondrer Saft
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Homura/Madoka
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers through episode 10.
Disclaimer: So not mine. Although if I had a wish...

Homura gets Madoka out of a witch's barrier alive, but not unharmed. Now Madoka needs someone to take care of her while (if) she recovers.

For round 2 of [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "poisoning"; card and masterpost here. Title is from Faust (line 1740), translated there as "a juice with curious properties."

The strands near the top were thick enough to hold the witch: a hulking spider with legs coming out at all angles and jet-black wings curling out from what Homura could only assume was its back. Half a dozen of its limbs clasped something tiny and pink. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Feel The Magic, Hear The Purr
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Jon, Christiane, Tad
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Summary: An accidental bit of magic leaves Stephen's mind switched out of his body...and into Christiane Aman-purr's. While Tad heads off to retrieve the fix, Jon gets stuck with cat-sitting.

(In other words: I had a sudden urge to write some kind of catboy!Stephen, and decided not to fight it.)

Written for round 2 of [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "mindswap"; card and masterpost here. Mirror on the AO3.

'I'm not used to being dependent on someone else for basic needs. I mean, sure, my lunch is always catered and brought to me on silver platters by toga-clad interns, but I always open it up myself!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Disney Magic
Rating: PG
Series: Pet Shop of Horrors/Fake News
Pairings/Characters: Jon, an Olberclone, D, ???
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. PSoH is not mine.

For [community profile] hc_bingo; master post with card. Takes place in the Eagle of Hermes universe, in the summer of 2009. Illustration here.

Mirror on the AO3.

Still trying to figure out how to bond with his newly adopted daughter, Jon takes her on what should have been a magical vacation. But when she gets overwhelmed by the heat, they end up taking refuge in a shop that looks mysteriously off-brand. Featuring quotes from Special Comments, various takes on mermaids, and a special appearance by T-chan while trying to be inconspicuous.

'That's because the sign at the store was trying to get parents to buy their little girls Ariel dresses.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The Catboy, The Phlebotinum, And The Hot-Air Balloon (Not Necessarily In That Order)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Gets kind of 9/11y. Violence, mortal peril, (skip) potential body-morphing squick, antagonist death, protagonist apparent death. Also, crack of the finest order.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Written for [personal profile] paperscribe in [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic's 2010 Secret Santa. Prompt: "Stephen" has always wanted to have superhero/magical powers. However, when Jon accidentally discovers that he has powers, "Stephen" is very upset.

Now with illustrations! Secret Alter Ego (WARNING: spoilers) and Indecision 2002 (the news team).

Mirrored on the AO3.




This is set in the universe of Empowered. For reference, all the superheroes mentioned are on this page, but no familiarity with the series is necessary; I just needed a generic background mileu full of superheroes.

Takes place around the era of Indecision 2002. "Stephen" is a TDS correspondent and occasional substitute host, with active compatriots including Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, Rachael Harris, Mo Rocca, and Stacey Grenrock-Woods, and of course your host, who also plays all the title roles. It makes sense in context. (Sort of.)

'Most likely? Someone with hex powers was doing a flyover, and they accidentally dropped a curse along the way. Remember in April when one of them turned half the city purple.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Series: Fake News; Hodgmanverse; various crossover shoutouts
Rating: Through R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See individual chapters
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", past "Stephen"/O'Reilly; Larry/John Oliver; Olivia/Kristen; ensemble cast

Tales from a magical mystical medieval AU, full of gratuitous glowing gemstones and golden glasses. If you have a thing for rich and detailed original worldbuilding, this may not be the 'verse for you. If you're in the mood for soulbonds, unicorns, and a whole lot of magic jewels, you've come to the right place.

♘ Castle Down

TDS meets slavefic meets Princess Gwenivere and the Jewel Riders, with just a dash of mole-men.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Illustrations


♘ Castle Walls

The love story of a foreign princess and a fire mage, featuring kidnappers, wizardry, and scanlators.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Illustrations


Castle Crossing

A one-shot crossover with the canon TDS/TCR world. Just for fun, not part of the continuity.


♘ Castles In The Sand

As per fantasy convention, it's time for our heroes to hire a ship and set sail for the End of the World.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue
Illustrations I
Illustrations II
Beta'd by the endlessly helpful [personal profile] queenfanfiction.
Fills a square on my [community profile] hc_bingo card.


Stone By Stone

A one-shot that flashes back to Stephen's life in Vulpis. Also, a 30 Rock crossover. Just because.


♘ Extras

Castle Chibis (art)
Turrets & Moats (soundtrack)
Battered Rose (non-canon alternate ending to Castles In The Sand)
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Microfics
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

A meme. The rules: Ten fics. Ten genres. Ten words or less.

Bonus references to Cardcaptor Sakura and Neon Genesis Evangelion (with art).


Stephen's self-control is iron. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: A Modest Proposition
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Swearing, violence against tables, past violence against people, rage, some blood.
Characters/pairings: Jon/liberal!"Stephen"
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Where "Stephen" is angry all the time but afraid to show other emotions, the liberal AU "Stephen" emotes like crazy but is afraid to express his anger. So he bottles it up and pretends he doesn't feel it at all.

Jon doesn't figure this out until the passing of Proposition 8.

(Warnings for anger, injury, and angst. Mirror on the AO3.)


'Sure, America came pretty close to turning into a fascist dictatorship under the Bush regime, but at least being gay has stayed legal!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: With Painful Steps And Slow
Rating: Painful sort of R
Warnings: Grisly imagery, swearing, h/c with a lot of h
Summary: An alternate version of A Colbert Christmas. What if Jon hadn't shown up until the end...and the guest who made peace with the bear hadn't shown up at all?? (Title is from It Came Upon A Midnight Clear.)

Mirror on the AO3.

Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement.

'A real man doesn't need help to survive one night in the wilderness with nothing but his wits and an electronic weapon of the future to protect him! Besides, the phone's out.' )

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Erin Ptah

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