ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace: bonus material
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Disclaimer: Not real; not mine.
Rating: Through PG

A roundup of scenes, snippets, and drabbles (the shorter ones are exactly 100 words apiece) that didn't quite fit into the text of State of Grace. If you don't notice, or aren't bothered by, the discrepancies, take these as deleted scenes. Otherwise, just consider them AU.


*

Jon didn't get a moment alone with Stephen all day. )

*

'Why do they have to use all these huge words to say perfectly simple things?' )

*

Stephen stood in the bathroom for a good ten minutes. )

*

'I get queasy sometimes when George cries. )

*

'Stevie adores you, you know.' )

*

'It just suddenly occurred to me that we're all alone.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: "Stephen" and system
Title: but the crack let in light
Notes: Dissociation, dysphoria, trauma. Some slightly NSFW illustrations. One track in .mp4 format.

Dr. Parr used to say of such men, that they were certainly cracked; but that the crack let in light.
John Connolly, An Inquiry Concerning the Indications of Insanity (1830)

A character soundtrack for the revised State of Grace. (Cover is spoilery; click through to see. There's also a large clean version here.) Stephen has multiple personalities, and spends years thinking of himself as broken because of it. Then they start getting to know each other, and learn to see things differently.

Something's familiar about these strangers like me )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: State of Grace, Epilogue: I Am America (And So Can We)
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

As the very first post of this story was on Black Friday three years ago, it's only fitting that the final one should appear today.

This is the part which catches up with, then overtakes, the epilogue of Expecting. Stephen's litany is from Dune, and his book is the excellent Meditations on Middle-earth; Tyrone is working from a book with the unsubtle title of Pornogami. The girl's way of addressing Tracey has been retconned to "Miz Tracey", on the advice of Senior Southern Correspondent [personal profile] politicette.

It would be remiss of me not to once more thank Senior Beta Correspondent [personal profile] stellar_dust, without whom none of this would have been possible. ♥

Clips referenced: the fear puppet; Hannah Montana; the burning couch; throwing drumsticks; tonight!

I still need you to protect me. But the things I need protection from are different now. You can change to meet them—I know you can. All you have to do is let go. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 34: Jon, Full of Grace
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

For some reason, beyond understanding, she seems to love him now more than ever, even though I get the sense that he hurt her something fierce in the early years. I suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships so will our healing, and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.
—William P. Young, The Shack

Clips referenced: candy and air; will this help; just come up!

'Jon loves you. All of you have people who love you.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 33: Animals and Children
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

This chapter contains two dead dogs. There's also a horse mixed up in there somewhere. Have all necessary tissues on hand before reading.

Stephen's conflicting sets of memories about Shasta are presented in this clip and I Am America 34-35. Mo is randomly borrowed from Nurse Jackie. Title swiped from Savage Garden.

'Everyone knows who needs to know. You divorced him, Lor, well before any of this started. He hasn't run around on anyone.' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 32: For The Love Of Dog
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

The similarity of this belief to that of most people, whether or not they have a religious sense...of heaven, makes me uneasy about calling [the patient's] belief a delusion.
Splitting (Stoller, 1973), the author trying to determine which of his patient's unverifiable beliefs can be attributed to his patient's mental illness, and which can't.

Clips referenced: Toby.

'I had this whole speech planned out for the doctor. Telling her what a horrible person you were, complete with some very intimidating hand gestures and a few clever puns.' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: Charlene (and "Stephen")
Title: Petit Fourth

A character soundtrack for the revised State of Grace. Charlene was Stephen's childhood best friend; took off for Paris when he started getting creepy; spent a couple of years wandering the world and leveling up her cooking skills; then returned to find out if she could make a home for herself as the fourth corner of his queer polyamorous love quadrangle.

I'll ply the fire with kindling now, I'll pull the blankets up to my chin; I'll lock the vagrant winter out and bolt my wandering in )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 31: Crane Dance
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

Title was originally inspired by the Julia Ecklar song, although [personal profile] stellar_dust points out that it works perfectly well as a straight-up reference to the lovely but awkward circling and flapping that real cranes do when they want to get to know each other better.

Clips referenced: a weakness for sappy movies; saying "please be better" earnestly enough. Shasta went to a farm upstate. Stephen's earliest memory is in I Am America.

'As far as my poor broken traumatized mind is capable of processing such things, I have arranged to have some time with you that will not be interrupted by my clinical insanity. Rub it in, why don't you.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 30: If You Liked It, Then You Shoulda...
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

If you haven't checked the contents recently, take another look; it has more art than ever, as well as a couple of awesome new fanworks.

Clips referenced: Anderson Cooper posters; High School Musical; inviting Jon on vacations; saying dramatic things without meaning them.

And, yes, that's Beyoncé in the title.

'The whole reason I'm giving you free reign this morning is so you don't feel the need to do that using-my-hands-while-I'm-not-looking trick with Cooper's delicates under the desk while I'm trying to give him a wholesome, old-fashioned nailing.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: Jon(/"Stephen")
Title: After The Rain

A character/pairing soundtrack for the revised State of Grace. When Jon fell in love, neither of them could have predicted the storm it would set off. He's determined to see Stephen through it, but Jon's going to have to learn to take care of himself along the way if he plans to make it out the other side.

Clean cover art.



I always said that I would make mistakes; I'm only human, and that's my saving grace )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Presenting the Full and Complete Profile of the group collectively known as Stephen T. Colbert, as seen in State of Grace.

If you haven't been following the story, this will contain massive, earth-shattering spoilers. If you're caught up (i.e. to about chapter 28), this...okay, it still contains spoilers, just not for any of the remaining major plot twists. It also touches on triggery topics, including links to TCR clips that cover them in more detail.

Some of these clips take place after the story, and wouldn't necessarily happen the same way in this continuity. The important thing isn't the specifics, but what they say about Stephen's headspace in general.

He experiences blackouts, blank spaces, and other forms of memory loss, sometimes associated with drugs and alcohol, other times with trauma or emotional distress. There's more in his head than he realizes. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 27: Separation Anxiety
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

The book they're reading is Unspeakable Truths and Happy Endings: Human Cruelty and the New Trauma Therapy, by Rebecca Coffey. Clips referenced: the record-breaking season.

'I buy you fancy clothes, you hardly ever wear them. I sing your praises on the show, even the Academy doesn't bother watching. I write you songs, you flee the country.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 24: Calls Each Of Them By Name
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

The title is from Psalm 147, verse 4 (NAB). The chapter quotes verses 3-4, as well as Job 5, verse 18.

Clips referenced: Stevie's outfit; the moon landing; honor-bound; again, taking Jon down a peg.

'It's a slippery slope, Father! One day you stop the weekly ritual declaration of how shameful and sinful you are, and the next thing you know you're experimenting with Lutheranism.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 22: Fruit and Consequences
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

Want to know who wouldn't be insulted? Well, I'll tell you. The answer is Sybil. She can't stand up for herself. I have to stand up for her. She can't get angry because her mother won't let her. I know it's a sin to get angry, but people do get angry. It's all right to be mad if I want to be.
Sybil (Schreiber, 1973)

Stephen's/Stevie's methods of self-soothing at hospitals are also found in Chuck Noblet. Extra thanks to [personal profile] stellar_dust for the title.

(Posting this early because I have a bus to catch.)

'Because he asked for it!' cried Jon, registering a half second too late that this was probably a poor choice of words. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: State of Grace, Chapter 21: Thy Daft Rebel Correspondent
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer/Warnings: See the table of contents.

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
—Plato

Clips referenced: Stephen's blackouts.

'I mean, you don't want to be triggered again, and...have you thought this through?' )

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Erin Ptah

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