Un assemblage de mensonges

Title: Five Times Stephen Got A Green Light
Rating: R
Contents: Sex, D/s, forced femme, bondage, post-roleplay aftercare, language
Characters/pairings: Liberal!"Stephen"/Jon
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Fic from TCR's liberal mirrorverse. In which Stephen is still not quite comfortable with kinking on being a Dom, and Jon provides constant reassurance via the stoplight-based safeword system.

This poor fic has been languishing half-finished for aaaaaages, until a certain recent sequence made it fall into place.

( Stephen drops both the half-tied knot around Jon's ankle and the heavy bondage manual he had been consulting while tying it. )

Title: Blue, Thinking About You
Rating: PG
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Siri, Meg, Tad, Gipper
Contents: Wifeless AU, ear!kink, bread abuse
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Stephen, anxious to know what Jon really thinks of him, stumbles on a way to find out for sure...which doesn't go at all the way he planned. Turns out Jon has more secrets than he bargained for (and in the meantime, Stephen's conscience just might be catching up with him).

Now with illustrations! Please read on The Zen and the Damaged to get the full effect (it requires code not supported on LJ/DW).

For a fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt from gaudy_night: Jon/"Stephen", after a freak accident, he gains the ability to hear what the other is really thinking. Title is from the carol Blue Christmas.

( If you were trying to seduce your gay friend for purely exploitative purposes, and maybe enjoying his company and feeling that his happiness made you feel warmer than hot chocolate along the way, that was still safely heterosexual on your part. )

Title: In Summer's Parching Heat
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen (pre-femslash), Jon(/"Stephen"), John Oliver, Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Teen-through-young-adult AU: Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are gay dog groomers in California, while Olivia and company are eighth graders nearby. Oh, and a cute new British kid just transferred into their class. And Kristen maybe likes him?? Drama!

Wildly out-of-season, I know, but I needed a last-minute fill for the hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "heat stroke."

( 'I've just moved here from England, so you're welcome to ask me any questions you have in preparation for our inevitable re-conquest of your charming little nation. Cheerio.' )

Title: Ambush
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Pre-Jon/"Stephen", background Jon/BriWi
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A snippet from late 2005, in the alternate universe where gender is divided along Dom/sub lines rather than male/female. Jon's getting misgendered quite a bit lately, which is strange, since it's always seemed clear enough to him. Not even Stephen can throw him for a loop on that point. (Right?)

( It's not foreplay now (mostly) (Brian Williams in the green room with the silk tie), but it's close enough that it comes as a shock whenever anyone fails to connect the dots. )

Icons of All The Characters, and a bunch of the pairings and trios, from the Hellsing-and-more fancomic And Shine Heaven Now and its Colbert-centric spinoff The Eagle of Hermes.

Hellsing: 55
Hellsing (Alternate Universes): 6
Read or Die: 10
Comics: 9 (Little Orphan Annie, Calvin and Hobbes, The Yellow Kid, Buster Brown)
Maria-sama ga Miteru: 9
Sailor Moon: 8
Fake News: 7
Good Omens: 7
Lupin III: 7
Scooby-Doo: 7
Pet Shop of Horrors: 7
Doctor Who: 6
Victorian Romance Emma: 5
Vintage Hirano hentai: 4
Jeeves & Wooster: 4
Witch Hunter Robin: 4
Revolutionary Girl Utena: 3
Saint Tail: 3
Miscellaneous: 10 (Madeline, H. G. Wells, Gunsmith Cats, Dracula, Soul Eater, Powerpuff Girls, Franken Fran, Vampire Hunter D, the Bible, fangirls)
Original Characters: 20

Total: 187. All free for use; just credit ptahrrific or And Shine Heaven Now. Table code courtesy of this generator.

Source artwork: And We All Shine On.


( And we all shine on )

Title: Sense and Sensibility and Vampires
Rating: PG
Warnings: Blood, character undeath
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

From the Eagle of Hermes 'verse, with spoilers for the main story. For the fakenews_fanfic prompt "the five senses." Or, in Stephen's case, five and then some. Illustration here.

( If the peach tasted ashen and watery in his mouth, it was because of the inferiority of non-South-Carolina stock, that was all. )

Title: Archnemesis
Rating: PG
Contents: Innuendo
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Drabble (100 words) inspired by kribban, wondering if Stephen still considers Jon his archnemesis even after they get together.

( Archnemesis )

Title: And It's F@#king Golden
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Same as above.

Stephen reacts to Jon's recent exchange with an Emmy.

( And It's F@#king Golden )

Title: Open Heart
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Jon/Tracey, Tracey/Charlene, Tad/Bobby, Olivia, families, OCs
Warnings: (skip) heart attack (nobody dies)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Part of the Expectingverse, from the spring before The Interview. The Stewart and Colbert families have practically moved in together, but most of the world still doesn't see Jon and Stephen's relationship for what it is. Stephen thought he'd be okay with that. When Jon has to be rushed to the hospital, he thinks again.

For my hc_bingo card, prompt "invisibility."

( It wasn't easy to defy the pleading of a dozen eager children, but after three innings Jon begged a rest and all but staggered over to one of Stephen's wicker lawn chairs to catch his breath. )

Title: Feel The Magic, Hear The Purr
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Jon, Christiane, Tad
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Summary: An accidental bit of magic leaves Stephen's mind switched out of his body...and into Christiane Aman-purr's. While Tad heads off to retrieve the fix, Jon gets stuck with cat-sitting.

(In other words: I had a sudden urge to write some kind of catboy!Stephen, and decided not to fight it.)

Written for round 2 of hc_bingo, prompt "mindswap"; card and masterpost here.

( 'I'm not used to being dependent on someone else for basic needs. I mean, sure, my lunch is always catered and brought to me on silver platters by toga-clad interns, but I always open it up myself!' )

Title: When You Love Someone (And/Or Their Giant Head)
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Various correspondent pairings
Warnings: Interspecies romance?
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For gaudy_night, prompt: "023. Lovers." Featuring...pretty much everything except Jon/"Stephen".

Clips referenced: Kristen; Larry and Aasif; Tad; appletinis; BriWi.

( Kristen finds a fantastic family-owned hole-in-the-wall pie place, and refuses to tell Olivia where it is. )