ptahrrific | Entries tagged with pairing: jon/"stephen"

Title: Consulting Pundit
Rating: PG (language)
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Fusion with the BBC's Sherlock. I also have a vague idea that Olivia Munn gets to be The Woman, who combines pseudolegal activities and strategic nudity in order to blackmail the government to take stronger action against animal abuse. Anyone who wants to take this and run with it is encouraged.

( 'Uh...does that mean they're reading my blog?' )

Title: Consulting Pundit
Rating: PG-13 (language, foreplay)
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Taking advantage of Stephen's favorite endearment. With thanks to this vocabulary list.

( 'You've done very well, principessa.' )

Title: Blue, Thinking About You
Rating: PG
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Siri, Meg, Tad, Gipper
Contents: Wifeless AU, ear!kink, bread abuse
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Stephen, anxious to know what Jon really thinks of him, stumbles on a way to find out for sure...which doesn't go at all the way he planned. Turns out Jon has more secrets than he bargained for (and in the meantime, Stephen's conscience just might be catching up with him).

Now with illustrations! Please read on The Zen and the Damaged to get the full effect (it requires code not supported on LJ/DW).

For a

fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt from

gaudy_night: Jon/"Stephen", after a freak accident, he gains the ability to hear what the other is really thinking. Title is from the carol Blue Christmas.

( If you were trying to seduce your gay friend for purely exploitative purposes, and maybe enjoying his company and feeling that his happiness made you feel warmer than hot chocolate along the way, that was still safely heterosexual on your part. )

Title: Jealousy, Thy Name Is Stewberry
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", Jimmy Fallon, Wyatt, Kristen, other correspondents
Contents: X-Men: First Class spoilers, canon hobo death
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

While Stephen is off having exciting friendship adventures with his new best buddy, Jon copes with his totally-not-jealousy by dragging various correspondents on a series of ill-fated friendventures of their own.

For a

fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt by

snobantiker: Jon/"Stephen", Jimmy Fallon. During the time of the BFFSM of Stephen and Jimmy, Jon gets jealous.

( Jon pouted. Disgraceful, that was. Men their age had no business pouting, unless they were facing a truly heart-rending situation, like not being sent a free iPad quickly enough. )

Title: didn't he heal, weren't the spring seeds planted
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen", families, OCs, Al Gore
Warnings: Children in danger, religious abuse, language, random tense changes.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Scenes from three summers in the Expectingverse. Stephen, trauma, childhood, water, and a brief history of Sweetness.

Refers to this Formidable Opponent. For my

hc_bingo round 2 card, prompts "archaic medical treatment" and "drowning".

( 'I tried to bite Al Gore last Wednesday' )

Title: Ambush
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Pre-Jon/"Stephen", background Jon/BriWi
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A snippet from late 2005, in the alternate universe where gender is divided along Dom/sub lines rather than male/female. Jon's getting misgendered quite a bit lately, which is strange, since it's always seemed clear enough to him. Not even Stephen can throw him for a loop on that point. (Right?)

( It's not foreplay now (mostly) (Brian Williams in the green room with the silk tie), but it's close enough that it comes as a shock whenever anyone fails to connect the dots. )

Title: Jon Knows
Rating: R
Contents: (skip) Non-con
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A depressing drabble (100 words). Another of those through-a-glass-darkly twists on the OTP dynamic.

( Jon Knows )

Title: Check In
Rating: G
Contents: (skip) Mental hospitalization
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", OC
Disclaimer: Same as above.

A second dismal drabble. Inspired by the lack of tosses lately.

( Check In )

Title: Scars
Rating: PG
Contents: Past abuse
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Same as above.

And a third, though this one is on the right track. Same universe as this picture (borderline NSFW).

( Scars )

Title: Archnemesis
Rating: PG
Contents: Innuendo
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Drabble (100 words) inspired by

kribban, wondering if Stephen still considers Jon his archnemesis even after they get together.

( Archnemesis )

Title: And It's F@#king Golden
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Same as above.

Stephen reacts to Jon's recent exchange with an Emmy.

( And It's F@#king Golden )

Title: Beware The Nice Ones
Rating: NC-17
Contents: Sex, language, emotional unhealthiness in spades
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen" (background Jon/Tracey and "Stephen"/Lorraine)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A slice of post-Emmy darkfic.

( It's not really surprising that people think Jon's the nice one. )

Title: Open Heart
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Jon/Tracey, Tracey/Charlene, Tad/Bobby, Olivia, families, OCs
Warnings: (skip) heart attack (nobody dies)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Part of the Expectingverse, from the spring before The Interview. The Stewart and Colbert families have practically moved in together, but most of the world still doesn't see Jon and Stephen's relationship for what it is. Stephen thought he'd be okay with that. When Jon has to be rushed to the hospital, he thinks again.

For my

hc_bingo card, prompt "invisibility."

( It wasn't easy to defy the pleading of a dozen eager children, but after three innings Jon begged a rest and all but staggered over to one of Stephen's wicker lawn chairs to catch his breath. )

Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, the Wørd, various alien OCs
Disclaimer/Warnings: See individual chapters.

Stephen's an alien. Olivia's a secret agent. Jon's pregnant. What could go wrong?

(Alternate title: "Planned Planethood.")

~*~The Ficlet
~Chapter 0

The Story Proper
~Chapter 1
~Chapter 2
~Chapter 3
~Chapter 4

The Extras
~Initial concept sketches

~*~

Title: All Her Original Brightness
Fandom: The Colbert Report/His Dark Materials
Rating: R (vague sex, light D/s, references to PTSD, masochism)
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen", dæmons
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Just this once, I'm ignoring my "never confirm or deny posts in anonymous venues" rule, because this one was really, really obvious.

Fill for a

newskink_meme prompt involving the touching of dæmons. Readers who aren't familiar with His Dark Materials, check out this basic How Dæmons Work primer. As before, Stephen's Honeypie is a kinkajou (awwww), and Jon's Avivah is a lynx (lol). Clips referenced will be linked as they come up.

The title is from a line in Paradise Lost: "His form had yet not lost / All her original brightness." Which makes an interesting counterpart to that first poem Stephen memorized: "So Eden sank to grief / So dawn goes down to day / Nothing gold can stay."

( 'So, ah, I'm usually pretty good with species, but I've never seen a dæmon like yours before. What's hers? It's cute.' )

Title: The DM of +4 Ohana
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Swearing, foreplay, references to IRL childhood angst, corruption of the youth
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Jon[athan], Olivia, Kristen, Demetri, Wyatt, Sam(/Jason)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For the prompt "Fixed" from

politicette. Trouble threatens to break up the most beautiful gay dog-grooming couple in all of 1980's California. Can Olivia, with the help of her quirky multi-ethnic posse, figure out a way to save it?

Or, more seriously: a story about three people trying to find a way to balance each other out, plus the friends who play D&D with them.

( 'Their love is beautiful and true like a Disney movie. Stephen even has pretty princess eyelashes! They're meant to be!' )

Title: Eight Roads Converged
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Liberal!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon, happy!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon, "Stephen"/Beck!Jon, real!Stephen/Jon, real!Stephen/Beck!Jon, Jon/"Stephen", Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Ficlets written for a series of requests: what happens when people from various fakenews AUs cross paths. Featuring the liberalverse, the happy!verse, Jon's Beck incarnation, and the universe where Wyatt hosts the 11:30 timeslot.

For politicette, liberal!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon meet happy!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon

( 'Can I play with your hair?' )

For raven_hoodoo: "Stephen"/Beck!Jon meet regular Stephen/Jon

( 'My god, what have we wrought?' )

For w_thit: regular!Stephen/Beck!Jon meet regular!Jon/"Stephen Colbert"

( 'He's a nice guy, I'd be glad to have him as a friend, but you're the one that I want.' )

For aybara_max: "Stephen" meets Wyatt from a 'verse where Larry & Wyatt were always the hosts of the shows.

( 'We're not filming a 'my white friend' segment this week.' )

Title: May The Horse Be With You
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, animals
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Written for the picture prompts thread, in which

w_thit gave me this.

The background of the setting is an AU I've been kicking around in my head. Late eighties; slight fudging of ages, but not much. Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are running their upscale dog salon in California, and have started to bond with kid!Olivia, who lives nearby. (Olivia goes to school with kiddie versions of some of the other correspondents, but that doesn't come up in this bit.)

( The girl made a beeline for the door, quickly enough that she didn't see Jonathan wince (and Lady McPawsington try to claw him for mishandling her, though he had wisely clipped her nails first thing). )

Medium: Television
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Subject: "Stephen"/"Jonathan"
Title: Somewhere Greener, Somewhere Warmer

I've been on a roll with this monologue (transcribed here) lately. Here's a musical version.

( 'Step two, make him fall in love with you.' )

Title: Ratings-Grabbing For Two
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon, various audiences
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In today's issue of Neglected Commentfic Roundup Week, I bring you...mpreg!

The first line is ripped from canon; the rest of the fic just takes that and runs with it. And, yes, it's another of these fics.

( 'Coming up next!' interrupted Stephen, hands planted on the desk. 'More very important personal news that Jon Stewart doesn't have time to pay attention to!' )

Title: The Catboy, The Phlebotinum, And The Hot-Air Balloon (Not Necessarily In That Order)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Gets kind of 9/11y. Violence, mortal peril, (skip) potential body-morphing squick, antagonist death, protagonist apparent death. Also, crack of the finest order.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Written for

paperscribe in

fakenews_fanfic's 2010 Secret Santa. Prompt: "Stephen" has always wanted to have superhero/magical powers. However, when Jon accidentally discovers that he has powers, "Stephen" is very upset.

Now with illustrations! Secret Alter Ego (WARNING: spoilers) and Indecision 2002 (the news team).

This is set in the universe of Empowered. For reference, all the superheroes mentioned are on this page, but no familiarity with the series is necessary; I just needed a generic background mileu full of superheroes.

Takes place around the era of Indecision 2002. "Stephen" is a TDS correspondent and occasional substitute host, with active compatriots including Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, Rachael Harris, Mo Rocca, and Stacey Grenrock-Woods, and of course your host, who also plays all the title roles. It makes sense in context. (Sort of.)

( 'Most likely? Someone with hex powers was doing a flyover, and they accidentally dropped a curse along the way. Remember in April when one of them turned half the city purple.' )

Series: Fake News; Hodgmanverse; various crossover shoutouts
Rating: Through R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See individual chapters
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", past "Stephen"/O'Reilly; Larry/John Oliver; Olivia/Kristen; ensemble cast

Tales from a magical mystical medieval AU, full of gratuitous glowing gemstones and golden glasses. If you have a thing for rich and detailed original worldbuilding, this may not be the 'verse for you. If you're in the mood for soulbonds, unicorns, and a whole lot of magic jewels, you've come to the right place.

♘ Castle Down

TDS meets slavefic meets Princess Gwenivere and the Jewel Riders, with just a dash of mole-men.
☯ Chapter 1
☯ Chapter 2
☯ Chapter 3
☯ Chapter 4
☯ Chapter 5
☯ Chapter 6
☯ Illustrations

♘ Castle Walls

The love story of a foreign princess and a fire mage, featuring kidnappers, wizardry, and scanlators.
☯ Chapter 1
☯ Chapter 2
☯ Chapter 3
☯ Chapter 4
☯ Chapter 5
☯ Chapter 6
☯ Chapter 7
☯ Chapter 8
☯ Illustrations

♘ Castle Crossing

A one-shot crossover with the canon TDS/TCR world. Just for fun, not part of the continuity.

♘ Castles In The Sand

As per fantasy convention, it's time for our heroes to hire a ship and set sail for the End of the World.
☯ Chapter 1
☯ Chapter 2
☯ Chapter 3
☯ Chapter 4
☯ Chapter 5
☯ Chapter 6
☯ Chapter 7
☯ Chapter 8
☯ Chapter 9
☯ Chapter 10
☯ Epilogue
☯ Illustrations I
☯ Illustrations II
Beta'd by the endlessly helpful

queenfanfiction.
Fills a square on my

hc_bingo card.

♘ Stone By Stone

A one-shot that flashes back to Stephen's life in Vulpis. Also, a 30 Rock crossover. Just because.

♘ Extras

☯ Castle Chibis (art)
☯ Turrets & Moats (soundtrack)
☯ Battered Rose (non-canon alternate ending to Castles In The Sand)

Title: Riding the Love Train to Sanitytown
Rating: PG-13 (innuendo)
Characters/pairings: Established Jon/"Stephen" (wifeless AU), a crowd of ~~twelve~~ ~~ten million~~ six billion, various special guests
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Jon Stewart represents us at our most aspirational. Stephen Colbert represents us as we truly are: patriotic, God-fearing, and easily confused.
—Michael Brett

As bunnied by

kribban, who was disappointed with the lack of rally!fic. Features one IRL kid, lots of drama (including character "death") from Stephen, some unexplained symbolism, a few sudden tense shifts, and unsubtle authorial love for Jon's speech and the Rally in general.

Now with a coda (will spoil the fic) by

queenfanfiction!

( Stephen has a way with bunkers. Colbunkers, nuclear bunkers, Archie Bunker...he's a bunker-thusiast, is the general idea. )

Title: five ways it could have failed
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Rating: R
Warnings: Character death, in various but uniformly painful ways.
Disclaimer: Not real; not mine.

Summary: For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

A handful of brief AUs to the Expectingverse. Some will only make sense if you've read the revised State of Grace.

( Three months in, and Stephen can't keep food down. )

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29

Un assemblage de mensonges

Fake News(/Sherlock): Consulting Pundit + Useful Italian Phrases

Fake News: Blue, Thinking About You

Fake News: Jealousy, Thy Name Is Stewberry

Fake News - didn't he heal, weren't the spring seeds planted

Fake News: Ambush

Fake News: Jon Knows + Check In + Scars

Fake News: Archnemesis + And It's F@#king Golden

Fake News: Beware The Nice Ones

Fake News: Open Heart

It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes (Table of Contents)

Fake News/His Dark Materials: All Her Original Brightness

Fake News: The DM of +4 Ohana

Fake News: Eight Roads Converged

Fake News: May The Horse Be With You

Fake News: Somewhere Greener, Somewhere Warmer

Fake News: Ratings-Grabbing For Two

Fake News: The Catboy, The Phlebotinum, And The Hot-Air Balloon (Not Necessarily In That Order)

Fake News: Castle Down, And Other Tales (Index)

♘ Castle Down

♘ Castle Walls

♘ Castle Crossing

♘ Castles In The Sand

♘ Stone By Stone

♘ Extras

Fake News: Riding the Love Train to Sanitytown

Fake News: Five Ways It Could Have Failed

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February 2012

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