ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Calyx
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: "Stephen" and family; eventual "Stephen"/OCs; Jon
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Young "Stephen" doesn't have the greatest parents, but a supportive neighbor changes the course of his life. Comfort fluff with a twist.

(This is a WIP that I stopped properly writing in late 2011, with the unfinished scenes loosely sketched-in. It's never going to be finished, at least not as originally intended, but it should hold together well-enough to be worth posting. Warning for character death, though it's only from old age.)

( He didn't even go to church, although Mama said he was a nice man: a little eccentric, but still a Poor Dear Thing for reasons that nobody talked about. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The one where Stephen is a cat
Rating: G
Cast: Jon, cat!"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

What it says on the tin. For the prompt "Lost and found." (Illustration source.) (Mirror on the AO3.)

'Most of the cats pick up that we have a schedule for treats, but Stephen here expects to be fed every time someone comes in.' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Rogues' Gallery
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon & "Stephen", others
Contents: Drugging, baby-kidnapping, sexualized brainwashing
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Four vignettes about four different villains, from the universe where "Stephen" is a forcefield-generating superhero and Jon is his Lois Lane. (A very belated response to some OT prompts.)

Fills some squares from my [community profile] hc_bingo round 4 card: "hostages" for #1, "making deals with demons" for #2, "brainwashing" for #3, "poltergeist" for #4.

'Where's your sense of adventure?' hisses the Eagle. His sidekick, the actual eagle known as Junior, fluffs its feathers in indignant agreement from its perch on the costumed crimefighter's shoulder. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's...A Chair!
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", the Obama that only Republicans can see, Stephen Junior
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Prompted by [personal profile] kribban, a sequel to the AU where "Stephen" is a superhero. (Hat tip to [personal profile] politicette for the title.) Now with a mirror on the AO3.

Jon, the new reporter in town, has already been rescued once by blowhard superhero The Eagle. Now it's time for him to meet the conceited crusader's sworn arch-enemy....

'Maybe I think this city deserves a better class of journalist.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: I Got 99 Problems, But The Truth Ain't One
Rating: Through PG-13
Cast: "Stephen", Jon, Olivia, Kristen, Wyatt, Al, Elliot, Neil Degrasse Tyson, liberal!Stephen, John Oliver, Jessica, Jimmy, Rob Corddry, Tad, Ed Helms, Sam, Jason, Patrick Stewart, Al
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A compilation of single-sentence fics, written for prompt threads over several months until I cut them off after #100. Including lots of characters, various AUs, and two mini-continuities (one about "Stephen" recovering from an accident, one about his wife kicking him out).

Mirror on the AO3.


John declares his side to be Team Glasses, Wyatt counters by establishing Team Beard (and declaring Jon an honorary member), and they never actually get around to the game, what with spending most of the afternoon arguing which side gets to claim Al. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Memento Volui
Rating: PG
Contents: Mild body-horror-y imagery
Characters/pairings: Jon & "Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Stephen should have paid more attention to the warnings on Vaxicarus.

(A wingfic. Also, an understated acefic. For my [community profile] hc_bingo Round 3 card, prompt "medication." Mirror on the AO3.)

Stephen swallowed two, chased them with a swig of Bud Lite Lime (he had gallons of the stuff, and they kept sending more; he'd taken to brushing his teeth with it), and went to bed. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Give me a character or pairing and I will write snippets of ten different alternate universes for it. One line, ten lines, a ficlet if you're lucky.

01. Wild West
02. Cyberpunk
03. Shapeshifters
04. Pirates
05. …In SPACE!!
06. Born Another Gender
07. Schoolfic
08. Police/Firefighters
09. Urban Fantasy
10. Harem

Fandoms I'm up for writing: fake news, Hellsing, Doctor Who, Madoka Magica, Sailor Moon, But I'm A Cat Person, Read or Die, Tek Jansen. (Feel free to suggest an alternate for "IN SPACE" if you ask for a character who's canonically there!)


FILLS

Doctor Who

+Ten Doctors, Ten AUs (Teaspoon | AO3) (Jack, One through Ten, Ace, Romana, Rose | PG)
+What This AU Needs Is More Nitro-9 (Teaspoon | AO3) (Ace, Seven | G)

Fake News
+Ten Wyatt&Jessica AUs (Wyatt, Jessica | PG)
+It's What Lincoln Would Have AU'd (Jon, "Stephen", the Wørd, Charlene, Neil, Kilborn, Oprah | through R)
+Ten Olivia/Kristen AUs (Olivia/Kristen, Jon, "Stephen", correspondents | through PG-13)
Note: all three fakenews harem AUs are part of the same continuity.

Read Or Die
+AUs From Beyond The Ceiling (AO3) (Nenene/Yomiko, Maggie, Michelle, Anita, Junior, Nancy | through PG)
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Chilling
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Vampirism, hypnotism
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In honor of Halloween, have a bit more of the Eagle of Hermes 'verse, shortly after the attacks of '99. Jon's never done this before, so he's a little nervous. In trying to make it good for him, Stephen accidentally overdoes it on the hypnosis.

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "brainwashing". Mirror on the AO3.

'I'll take half a pint, and not a drop more. You might not appreciate it — few people do — but my self-control is legendary.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Sense and Sensibility and Vampires
Rating: PG
Warnings: Blood, character undeath
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

From the Eagle of Hermes 'verse, with spoilers for the main story. For the [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic prompt "the five senses." Or, in Stephen's case, five and then some. Illustration here. Mirror on the AO3.

If the peach tasted ashen and watery in his mouth, it was because of the inferiority of non-South-Carolina stock, that was all. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Feel The Magic, Hear The Purr
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Jon, Christiane, Tad
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Summary: An accidental bit of magic leaves Stephen's mind switched out of his body...and into Christiane Aman-purr's. While Tad heads off to retrieve the fix, Jon gets stuck with cat-sitting.

(In other words: I had a sudden urge to write some kind of catboy!Stephen, and decided not to fight it.)

Written for round 2 of [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "mindswap"; card and masterpost here. Mirror on the AO3.

'I'm not used to being dependent on someone else for basic needs. I mean, sure, my lunch is always catered and brought to me on silver platters by toga-clad interns, but I always open it up myself!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Sweetness Follows; or, The Remarkably Low-Angst Transition of Joan Stewart
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, transphobia, references to bullying, bad accents, outrageous drag names.
Characters/pairings: Jo(a)n(/Tracey), "Stephen", John Oliver, Wyatt, Kristen
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

What it says on the tin. Jon switches names, starts on hormones, deals with mood swings, and gets support from almost all quarters, in the office and out. Stephen has a rocky time with the whole idea, but who didn't see that coming?

Last-minute amnesty fill for [community profile] queer_fest, for the prompt: (skip) Any fandom, any MtF character, why she doesn't want surgery--a girl can have a penis dammit! This should NOT be a problem!

In spite of the timing, it's been in progress since back when that was an [community profile] lgbtfest prompt. Takes place around spring/summer of 2009.

Outtakes including Jo(a)n's family: The Clownfish Files. Related stories: Transverse

'Do you know how rare true ballsiness is? How could you jeopardize our country by making that resource even more scarce? And in a time of war, too! I should call Homeland Security on you!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Red String
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Jon/Tracey, families
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The fictional characters are fictional, not mine, and used with love, not profit.

An epilogue to Green & Gray. Just enough to tie up the loose ends.

And when Stephen wants something from Jon he usually gets it, so it'll save time to just give in now. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Hagiography (II)
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: OC/"Stephen", Jon/Tracey
Warnings: Everything from previous parts, now with extra violence and (skip) character death
Beta: [personal profile] sarcasticsra
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. The fictional characters are fictional, not mine, and used with love, not profit.

The long-awaited climax of the Green & Gray 'verse. (If your memories of previous installments have gotten fuzzy and you were thinking of doing a reread, now would be the time.)

In which Jon swoops in and carries Stephen to safety under cover of night. At least, that was the plan.

'Is there anything else you absolutely need?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: My Little Pony
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Neglected Commentfic Roundup Week continues with something recent: [personal profile] kribban picked "Fighting" from a prompt table, and I decided to make something fluffy out of it. (Literally.)

Takes place in the Senateverse.

As security concerns go, having the mundane details of your schedule for the next fortnight leaked to the press was not high on Senator Stewart's (D-NY) list. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Fugue in C Minor
Rating: PG
Warnings: See the prompt.
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon, OCs
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

...So of course I set out to post a bunch of fics on the week when everyone's on vacation. Clever plan of mine, that.

This next one was written for a prompt from [personal profile] paperscribe, the content of which is spoilery in itself: (skip) Jon experiences a dissociative fugue. (The triggering trauma is unspecified.)

Takes place relatively early in Jon's TDS days, where he has devoted fans but isn't a household name. Pretend that's enough to make it make sense.

The staff usually takes turns with the worst customers, but over the month and a half since Daniel started working here Colbert has more or less adopted him. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Eyes Like Dead Birds (or, Five Ways Of Looking At That Monologue)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Light sex, memory loss, angst, unbleeped homophobia, Minesweeper abuse
Characters/pairings: Jon and "Stephen" (paired and separately), past "Stephen"/"Jonathan", bonus Steve
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Hands up if you saw this coming a mile away.

Five different ficlets based on the outline which Stephen's writers helpfully provided in last week's monologue. Detailed though it was, it's still marvelously open to interpretation. How much of it is literal? Who is the mysterious "Jonathan"? Is anyone else hungry for cupcakes with icing tuxedos now?

See also: California Boys masterpost.

Mirror on the AO3.

—well, that just proves he's straight, doesn't it? Gay people wouldn't want forever in the first place. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Seven
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", liberal!"Stephen", happy!"Stephen", Steve ColberT, Jermaine Maine, Sweetness, Esteban, Jon, Allison
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Based on the virtues given in Dante's Purgatorio, where each corresponds to one of the Deadly Sins. Seven sentences, seven virtues, seven "Stephens" (and associated doppelgangers, alter egos, and hallucinatory voices):

...it's just the guy in the shocking pink, smiling like a sunbeam and holding out an envelope. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Assorted Belatedly Collected Drabbles (Sam, Jon, and Stephen Edition)
Series: TDS/TCR
Disclaimer: Works of parody. Not real; not mine.

More long-lost drabbles from 2006, plus something a bit more recent. Mostly Jon'n'"Stephen" this time. But also Sam!



Title: Fresh Twists
Characters/Pairings: Sam, an interviewee
Rating: PG
Notes: Drabble-and-a-half. Written during the days when Sam was the only female regular in the fakenewsverse.

The interview with the senator is not going well. )


Title: The Last Best Hope
Characters/Pairings: Jon, Bill Bennett, Stephen, Bobby
Rating: G
Notes: Follows the two-part Bill Bennett interview, and its follow-up.

'When the interview first aired, Stephen was delighted.' )


Title: Blame The Lutherans
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Bobby
Rating: G
Notes: Comes right before this clip.

'So there's no way to put Jon properly On Notice by Monday's show?' )


Title: Temptation
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Rating: PG

Jon couldn't help it. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Stay (4/4)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Nothing that hasn't been in the story already.
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Sam/Jason, Scarborough, Aasif
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Senateverse. Stephen comes home.

(See also the author's notes for research and commentary.)

'Look at this! Would I have let someone perpetuate this horror on my beautiful hair for anyone less than our soldiers?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Stay (3/4)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Gay stuff, more peril
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Rob R., Sam/Jason, Scarborough, Aasif
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: Senateverse. Morning Joe weighs in; Stephen makes a purchase; soldiers give nonanswers about DADT; Jason checks in from Tehran; Jon gives nonanswers about Stephen.

Note that this was written, and takes place, more than a week ago, before things fell apart in our!Iran. I would hold off on posting, but I don't know if there will ever be a "good time" to post it, so here it is. And please keep an eye on the news, if you aren't already.

(Yeah, I know, that may be a superfluous request to make of TDS fans. Still.)


Okay, so it looked kind of like a muffler. But the local vendor he had bought it from assured him it was a gun. At least, that's what Stephen assumed the man had said. He just hoped Sweetness wouldn't be jealous. )

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Erin Ptah

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