ptahrrific: Cecil and Carlos with science in the dark (night vale)
Title: Night Vale: The Musical (Act I, tracks 1-3)
Fandom: Welcome to Night Vale
Characters/Pairings: Cecil/Carlos, scientists, Vithya, Lauren, others
Rating: T
Disclaimer/warnings: Night Vale and everything related are the property of Commonplace Books. None of the music is mine, either. (Full songbook.)

One morning, Carlos spontaneously bursts into song on his way to work. Then the people around him start singing backup. Turns out everyone in the greater Night Vale & Desert Bluffs area has started breaking into random musical numbers...just in time to hold the world's most well-choreographed corporate invasion.

Canon-divergent starting from Yellow Helicopters, although in the beginning the main difference is that more of it is set to music. Song links can be found at the end of every chapter.

( Oh, oh, oh, look at my hair / What 'do can compare with mine today? )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Family Reunion (2/4)
Fandom: Welcome to Night Vale, fake news, The Magic School Bus
Characters/Pairings: Cecil/Carlos, Jon/"Stephen", Ms. Frizzle, other crossover cameos
Rating: T
Disclaimer: None of these series and/or people are mine.

Jon bonds with Carlos as the only other normal person in a weird, weird group. Cecil wants to hear more about Carlos' childhood, and not just the magical adventures, either. And when Stephen gets picked on, the Friz decides to turn it into a learning opportunity.

( 'And two decades later you were doing seismology research that ended up leading you to Night Vale! I should really track down this Dorothy Ann person and send her a thank-you card.' )
ptahrrific: Cecil and Carlos with science in the dark (night vale)
Title: Family Reunion (1/4)
Fandom: Welcome to Night Vale, fake news, The Magic School Bus
Characters/Pairings: Cecil/Carlos, Jon/"Stephen", Ms. Frizzle, other crossover cameos
Rating: T
Contents (across the whole story); moderate sexual situations, canon-typical character death
Disclaimer: None of these series and/or people are mine.

Cecil brings Carlos as his date to a family reunion. He can't wait to catch up with his journalist cousin Stephen, and he's sure Carlos will get along great with his scientist aunt Valerie.

( 'You have to not...freak out. Or scream. Or hide. Or run to the nearest phone and call up the SCP Foundation. In fact, you really shouldn't let on that you've ever heard of the SCP Foundation.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Or Perhaps Pleasure
Rating: R
Contents: Canon-typical (cartoony) violence, weird sexual situations
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Jon's back from the Middle East!...and he came back wrong. As the embodiment of all that is American, it's up to Stephen to come to the rescue. The sexy, sexy rescue.

(On top of all the other innuendo in that clip, one of the things Stephen yells while behind the door actually is "Say you love me!" Ah, romance.)

Mirror on the AO3.

The hazmat suit sizzles where the lightsaber clips him in the side, but doesn't let it through. American engineering at its finest! )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
A sequence of TDS/TCR ficlets written for prompts at [community profile] punditfic and [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic.

Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.


Title: Worldly Pleasures
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon/"Stephen"
Prompt: courtesy the Homolust Challenge Generator: "A racist monk + a clumsy stripper in a lab. They are frenemies. It must involve spanking."

'Kinda far from the cloister, aren't you? How'd that happen?' )

Title: The Heist
Rating: G
Cast: Olivia, Wyatt
Prompt: from They Fight Crime: "He's a lonely dishevelled master criminal fleeing from a secret government programme. She's a virginal antique-collecting hooker with someone else's memories. They fight crime!"

'As long as you follow my lead, we're gonna get your set of vintage pie plates back, I promise.' )

Title: One-sentence Easter fic
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: It's bunny day!

When Stephen shakes him awake in the morning... )

Title: Stephen's Worst Nightmare
Rating: G
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: Nightmares. From [personal profile] politicette: "Stephen" had a bad dream that all his hair fell out.

It's about four in the morning, and Jon really shouldn't try to answer his phone, but he's too groggy to remember that he can send it to voicemail. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: John Oliver's Infinitely Recursive Fanfiction Adventure
Rating: G
Cast: John, others
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Based on a true story.

(The real-world John Oliver is advised to avoid reading this one, lest he rip a hole in the space-time continuum.)

AO3 mirror.

In fact...he had to scroll up and start rereading again, for purely fact-checking purposes, mind you. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Give me a character or pairing and I will write snippets of ten different alternate universes for it. One line, ten lines, a ficlet if you're lucky.

01. Wild West
02. Cyberpunk
03. Shapeshifters
04. Pirates
05. …In SPACE!!
06. Born Another Gender
07. Schoolfic
08. Police/Firefighters
09. Urban Fantasy
10. Harem

Fandoms I'm up for writing: fake news, Hellsing, Doctor Who, Madoka Magica, Sailor Moon, But I'm A Cat Person, Read or Die, Tek Jansen. (Feel free to suggest an alternate for "IN SPACE" if you ask for a character who's canonically there!)


FILLS

Doctor Who

+Ten Doctors, Ten AUs (Teaspoon | AO3) (Jack, One through Ten, Ace, Romana, Rose | PG)
+What This AU Needs Is More Nitro-9 (Teaspoon | AO3) (Ace, Seven | G)

Fake News
+Ten Wyatt&Jessica AUs (Wyatt, Jessica | PG)
+It's What Lincoln Would Have AU'd (Jon, "Stephen", the Wørd, Charlene, Neil, Kilborn, Oprah | through R)
+Ten Olivia/Kristen AUs (Olivia/Kristen, Jon, "Stephen", correspondents | through PG-13)
Note: all three fakenews harem AUs are part of the same continuity.

Read Or Die
+AUs From Beyond The Ceiling (AO3) (Nenene/Yomiko, Maggie, Michelle, Anita, Junior, Nancy | through PG)
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Little Red State Riding Hood
Rating: PG-13
Contents: ...wolf play?
Characters/pairings: wolf!Jon/"Stephen", Willard Mittington "Romney" Romney
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

An election-era fairy tale, starring the characters depicted in Grey Wolf and Little Red.

Now with a sequel!

'It's an eyecatcher of a hood, I'll say that. But I'm happy to call you Stephen, if you want.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Feel The Magic, Hear The Purr
Fandom: The Colbert Report
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen", Jon, Christiane, Tad
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Summary: An accidental bit of magic leaves Stephen's mind switched out of his body...and into Christiane Aman-purr's. While Tad heads off to retrieve the fix, Jon gets stuck with cat-sitting.

(In other words: I had a sudden urge to write some kind of catboy!Stephen, and decided not to fight it.)

Written for round 2 of [community profile] hc_bingo, prompt "mindswap"; card and masterpost here. Mirror on the AO3.

'I'm not used to being dependent on someone else for basic needs. I mean, sure, my lunch is always catered and brought to me on silver platters by toga-clad interns, but I always open it up myself!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: It Came From Beyond The Stars And Stripes
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia, the Wørd, various alien OCs
Disclaimer/Warnings: See individual chapters.

Stephen's an alien. Olivia's a secret agent. Jon's pregnant. What could go wrong?

(Alternate title: "Planned Planethood.")

~*~
The Ficlet
~Chapter 0

The Story Proper
~Chapter 1
~Chapter 2
~Chapter 3
~Chapter 4

The Extras
~Initial concept sketches
~AU follow-up scene: Ten Roads Converged

~*~
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The Catboy, The Phlebotinum, And The Hot-Air Balloon (Not Necessarily In That Order)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Gets kind of 9/11y. Violence, mortal peril, (skip) potential body-morphing squick, antagonist death, protagonist apparent death. Also, crack of the finest order.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Written for [personal profile] paperscribe in [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic's 2010 Secret Santa. Prompt: "Stephen" has always wanted to have superhero/magical powers. However, when Jon accidentally discovers that he has powers, "Stephen" is very upset.

Now with illustrations! Secret Alter Ego (WARNING: spoilers) and Indecision 2002 (the news team).

Mirrored on the AO3.




This is set in the universe of Empowered. For reference, all the superheroes mentioned are on this page, but no familiarity with the series is necessary; I just needed a generic background mileu full of superheroes.

Takes place around the era of Indecision 2002. "Stephen" is a TDS correspondent and occasional substitute host, with active compatriots including Rob Corddry, Ed Helms, Rachael Harris, Mo Rocca, and Stacey Grenrock-Woods, and of course your host, who also plays all the title roles. It makes sense in context. (Sort of.)

'Most likely? Someone with hex powers was doing a flyover, and they accidentally dropped a curse along the way. Remember in April when one of them turned half the city purple.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Series: Fake News; Hodgmanverse; various crossover shoutouts
Rating: Through R
Disclaimer/Warnings: See individual chapters
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", past "Stephen"/O'Reilly; Larry/John Oliver; Olivia/Kristen; ensemble cast

Tales from a magical mystical medieval AU, full of gratuitous glowing gemstones and golden glasses. If you have a thing for rich and detailed original worldbuilding, this may not be the 'verse for you. If you're in the mood for soulbonds, unicorns, and a whole lot of magic jewels, you've come to the right place.

♘ Castle Down

TDS meets slavefic meets Princess Gwenivere and the Jewel Riders, with just a dash of mole-men.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Illustrations


♘ Castle Walls

The love story of a foreign princess and a fire mage, featuring kidnappers, wizardry, and scanlators.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Illustrations


Castle Crossing

A one-shot crossover with the canon TDS/TCR world. Just for fun, not part of the continuity.


♘ Castles In The Sand

As per fantasy convention, it's time for our heroes to hire a ship and set sail for the End of the World.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Epilogue
Illustrations I
Illustrations II
Beta'd by the endlessly helpful [personal profile] queenfanfiction.
Fills a square on my [community profile] hc_bingo card.


Stone By Stone

A one-shot that flashes back to Stephen's life in Vulpis. Also, a 30 Rock crossover. Just because.


♘ Extras

Castle Chibis (art)
Turrets & Moats (soundtrack)
Battered Rose (non-canon alternate ending to Castles In The Sand)
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Microfics
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

A meme. The rules: Ten fics. Ten genres. Ten words or less.

Bonus references to Cardcaptor Sakura and Neon Genesis Evangelion (with art).


Stephen's self-control is iron. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Services Rendered
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Computer, ????
Rating: PG-13 (offscreen sex)
Disclaimer: See the index.

For [livejournal.com profile] punkishgrin, who wanted something with Jon and Computer, suggesting that "perhaps 'she's' helping Jon live out his fantasies about Stephen virtually, and Stephen finds out."

For a second Jon saw the wireframe rendering on the table in front of him. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Truth Springs Eternal
Series: TDS/TCR; Ranma ½
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Tad
Rating: G
Disclaimer: See the index.

For [livejournal.com profile] biichan, who wanted "Stephen gets back from his vacation...at Juusenkyo."

'A...an eagle!' stammered Stephen. 'I fell into Spring of Drowned Very Fierce And Dangerous Bald Eagle.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: What's Up, Doc?
Series: TDS/TCR; Looney Tunes
Characters/Pairings: "Stephen"(/Jon), Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck
Rating: G
Disclaimer: See the index.

For [livejournal.com profile] doctorv, who wanted "the one where they're cartoons." Which turned into a thoroughly bizarre crossover.

'And what do you see when you experience this dizziness? Stars and planets, or little singing birds?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: The Tour
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen", OCs
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: See the index.

For [livejournal.com profile] canadian_plant, who wanted: "A story about the space under Stephen's desk! He's had two Starbucks, a gitmo-esque prison, Jews apparently building a pyramid, and 'his Asians'. There's definitey something fishy going on."

'It's like you've got the whole Bottle City of Kandor down here.' )
ptahrrific: (doctor whoniverse)
Title: Bigger On The Underside
Series: TDS/TCR, Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen", Stephen's Jews, reference to Romana
Rating: G
Disclaimer: See the index.

For [livejournal.com profile] espreite, who wanted Jon as a Time Lord. Takes place shortly after this clip.

'It's not your desk, Stephen!' came the echoing reply. 'It's my TARDIS!' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Drawing the Line
Rating: Through TV-14
Series: TDS/TCR, Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, The Ambiguously Gay Duo (Saturday Night Live), The New Tek Jansen Adventures, with cameos from The Simpsons, Venture Bros, and others
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons and places, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. Animated characters are the property of Hanna-Barbera, NBC, Busboy, FOX, and others. Used with love, but without permission.


When Stephen Colbert sues his boss with the help of his lawyer Reducto (voiced by Stephen Colbert), Jon hires the law firm of Phil Ken Sebben (voiced by Stephen Colbert) to represent him.

It's the cartoon trial of the century, especially when Ace (voiced by Stephen Colbert) and Gary, Colby (voiced by Stephen Colbert), Professor Impossible (voiced by Stephen Colbert), and of course Tek Jansen (voiced by Stephen Colbert) get involved.


Episodes
101. Brooks Brothers Lawsuit
102. A Little Advice
103. (The Taking) Of Minds And Men
104. Holding Out For The Heroes
105. Code Pink
106. Thrill Me, Chill Me
107. Enjoy The Ride
108. Science Fiction Double Entendre
109. A Key Clue
110. Climax Is Reached
111. Happily Ever Afters
Tag/Closing Credits

Special Features
Trailer, Fonts, & Extras
Soundtrack
Closing Credits (uncut version)
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Oliver Through The Looking Glass, Part III: Queen Oliver
Fandom: TDS/TCR, Alice in Wonderland
Genre: Comedy crossover crack
Rating: G
Words: ~3100
Disclaimer )

Notes: The final chapter of the sequel to [livejournal.com profile] formerlydf's Stewart in Wonderland.

Before you read this, read John Oliver's ComedyCentral.com bio. Don't look too much at the picture, as it's frightening.

The poem at the end, like the poem at the end of the original book, is an acrostic. (Alice Pleasance Liddell is the girl on whom the character Alice is based.) Lewis Carroll is the unabashed master of rhyme and rhythm.

Chapter I: I'm British, You See
Chapter II: Only Doing My Duty
Chapter III: [You Are Here]

John Oliver goes through his bathroom mirror and ends up joining a giant game of chess with all of Wonderland at stake. (No pressure.) )

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Erin Ptah

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