Un assemblage de mensonges

Title: Resolution
Rating: PG
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", correspondents
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Hey, remember when our intrepid heroes used to do tosses between shows? Have a ficlet based on the one in which Stephen makes New Year's Resolutions on Jon's behalf. It's even timely. (Just ignore the part where it's two years late.)

( 22. Have more of those expensive spiced coffees around. I know how much Stephen likes them. )

Title: It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's...A Chair!
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen", the Obama that only Republicans can see, Stephen Junior
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Prompted by kribban, a sequel to the AU where "Stephen" is a superhero. (Hat tip to politicette for the title.)

Jon, the new reporter in town, has already been rescued once by blowhard superhero The Eagle. Now it's time for him to meet the conceited crusader's sworn arch-enemy....

( 'Maybe I think this city deserves a better class of journalist.' )

A sequence of TDS/TCR ficlets written for prompts at punditfic and fakenews_fanfic.

Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.


Title: You, The Heroes
Rating: G
Cast: Jessica, real!Stephen, Olivia, Kristen, Wyatt, "Stephen"/Jon
Prompt: "Power" (with sub-prompts for specific superpower/character combinations) + "First meetings" (for the last one)

Sequel to the "Stephen" one: It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's...A Chair!

( It was harder to line up a couple to adopt her this time. People who believe in phoenixes at all, much less consider them lucky, are getting rarer and rarer. )

Title: PDA
Rating: G
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", Wyatt
Prompt: Public displays of affection

( When Stephen was in complete denial, their interactions were bewildering, but at least all the stress was on him. )

Title: Shotgun
Rating: G
Cast: "Stephen"
Prompt: Characters' résumés

(This totally fits the prompt, because you just know Stephen would be very proud to list it as work experience, particularly for any tuxedo-requiring jobs.)

"I was born to wear a tux. In fact, as a child my parents used to rent me out as a ring bearer for shotgun weddings." (I Am America, 219)

( Stevie loves weddings. He gets to wear a tuxedo, which makes him basically a grown-up. )

Title: Labor Day
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen"
Prompt: Worth

An extended version of how Stephen spent his Labor Day. (Stephen's wearing this dress, to make politicette happy.)

( The back of the creamy-white gown scoops low under Stephen's shoulder blades, then explodes at the waist into a frothing mass of lace and sheer billows. )

A sequence of ficlets written for prompts at punditfic and fakenews_fanfic.

Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.


Title: Not Sure If Breakthrough
Series: TCR
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", OC
Prompt by kribban: The personal notes of Jon and "Stephen's" marriage counselor.

( Re-evaluated considerations re: abuse. Encouraged J to employ reality testing. )

Title: Snowflake
Series: TCR
Rating: G
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: An image (at the end)

( One of Stephen's creepy dimensional portals must have been holding the thing, and was now discharging it bit by bit: enough metal to form the frame of a mid-sized pup tent, and in almost as complicated a configuration. )

Title: Pulpit
Series: TCR
Rating: G
Cast: "Stephen", family
Prompt: "Warning signs," specifically from politicette: "Something about baby!"Stephen" and how if someone (Charlene?) were paying more attention, they would have honed in on a specific incident or two and caught how miserable and unstable he was growing up to be."

(  Stevie's standing on tiptoes behind the pulpit, on the velvet-covered footstool used by the kids who get called up to recite a prayer or light an Advent candle. )

Title: Maxim's Finest
Rating: R (vague sex, one NSFW image)
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Olivia(/Kristen)
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A ficlet in honor of both Stephen and Olivia Munn making the Maxim Top 100. Mostly in text-message format.

( THE SEXIEST OF ALL THE PLACES OBVIOUSLY )

Title: Little Red State Riding Hood
Rating: PG-13
Contents: ...wolf play?
Characters/pairings: wolf!Jon/"Stephen", Willard Mittington "Romney" Romney
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

An election-era fairy tale, starring the characters depicted in Grey Wolf and Little Red.

Now with a sequel!

( 'It's an eyecatcher of a hood, I'll say that. But I'm happy to call you Stephen, if you want.' )

Title: Five Things Scarier Than Demons
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Mami/Kyoko, Homura, Charlotte, Yuma
Rating: G
Contents: sick!Charlotte fanon, references to sad bits of canon
Disclaimer: MadoMagi characters and plot aren't mine.

There are some things even a puella magi can't face alone. (Post-series fluff.)

For the latest girlgay prompt: Write a humorous scene about a warrior who is brave in battle getting nervous about activity off the battlefield that may cause them minor pain. Tayaki are the fish-shaped pastries often seen vanishing into Kyoko's mouth. Also here on the AO3.

( 'I was so sure I could handle it! But nothing I did seem to work...you have to understand, I'm out of practice, I haven't even tried to do this for years...' )

Title: Jealousy, Thy Name Is Stewberry
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", Jimmy Fallon, Wyatt, Kristen, other correspondents
Contents: X-Men: First Class spoilers, canon hobo death
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

While Stephen is off having exciting friendship adventures with his new best buddy, Jon copes with his totally-not-jealousy by dragging various correspondents on a series of ill-fated friendventures of their own.

For a fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt by snobantiker: Jon/"Stephen", Jimmy Fallon. During the time of the BFFSM of Stephen and Jimmy, Jon gets jealous.

( Jon pouted. Disgraceful, that was. Men their age had no business pouting, unless they were facing a truly heart-rending situation, like not being sent a free iPad quickly enough. )

Title: Five (And Then Some) Heart Crystals The Death Busters Never Stole
Fandoms: Sailor Moon and crossovers: The Daily Show, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, His Dark Materials, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who
Characters/Pairings: Kaolinite, Eudial, Mimete, Viluy; Jon, Olivia, "Stephen"; Homura/Madoka; Lyra, Pan; Sharon, Roslin, Tory, Tigh; Four, Sarah Jane
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoils ALL THE THINGS, especially MadoMagi, HDM, and BSG.
Disclaimer: Not a single one of these series is mine. More's the pity.

What it says on the tin. Heart crystals that Kaolinite and the Witches 5 would have gone after, if only they'd existed in the same series.

Most of these involve AU versions of the crossover characters' canon settings. Just pretend those years and areas were the ones in which the Death Busters set up shop...and then ignore all the continuity issues that brings up ^_^;

For my round 2 hc_bingo card, prompts "experiments by evil scientists" and "headaches/migraines".

( 'I'm Jon Stewart, and, folks, we have a fantastic program for you tonight. Our guest is Souichi Tomoe...' )

Title: All Her Original Brightness
Fandom: The Colbert Report/His Dark Materials
Rating: R (vague sex, light D/s, references to PTSD, masochism)
Pairings/Characters: Jon/"Stephen", dæmons
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Just this once, I'm ignoring my "never confirm or deny posts in anonymous venues" rule, because this one was really, really obvious.

Fill for a newskink_meme prompt involving the touching of dæmons. Readers who aren't familiar with His Dark Materials, check out this basic How Dæmons Work primer. As before, Stephen's Honeypie is a kinkajou (awwww), and Jon's Avivah is a lynx (lol). Clips referenced will be linked as they come up.

The title is from a line in Paradise Lost: "His form had yet not lost / All her original brightness." Which makes an interesting counterpart to that first poem Stephen memorized: "So Eden sank to grief / So dawn goes down to day / Nothing gold can stay."

There's an AU follow-up scene to this in Ten Roads Converged.

( 'So, ah, I'm usually pretty good with species, but I've never seen a dæmon like yours before. What's hers? It's cute.' )