Un assemblage de mensonges

Title: Consulting Pundit
Rating: PG (language)
Characters/pairings: Jon, "Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Fusion with the BBC's Sherlock. I also have a vague idea that Olivia Munn gets to be The Woman, who combines pseudolegal activities and strategic nudity in order to blackmail the government to take stronger action against animal abuse. Anyone who wants to take this and run with it is encouraged.

( 'Uh...does that mean they're reading my blog?' )

Title: Consulting Pundit
Rating: PG-13 (language, foreplay)
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

Taking advantage of Stephen's favorite endearment. With thanks to this vocabulary list.

( 'You've done very well, principessa.' )

Title: Blue, Thinking About You
Rating: PG
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Siri, Meg, Tad, Gipper
Contents: Wifeless AU, ear!kink, bread abuse
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Stephen, anxious to know what Jon really thinks of him, stumbles on a way to find out for sure...which doesn't go at all the way he planned. Turns out Jon has more secrets than he bargained for (and in the meantime, Stephen's conscience just might be catching up with him).

Now with illustrations! Please read on The Zen and the Damaged to get the full effect (it requires code not supported on LJ/DW).

For a fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt from gaudy_night: Jon/"Stephen", after a freak accident, he gains the ability to hear what the other is really thinking. Title is from the carol Blue Christmas.

( If you were trying to seduce your gay friend for purely exploitative purposes, and maybe enjoying his company and feeling that his happiness made you feel warmer than hot chocolate along the way, that was still safely heterosexual on your part. )

Title: In Summer's Parching Heat
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Olivia/Kristen (pre-femslash), Jon(/"Stephen"), John Oliver, Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Teen-through-young-adult AU: Jon[athan] and "Stephen" are gay dog groomers in California, while Olivia and company are eighth graders nearby. Oh, and a cute new British kid just transferred into their class. And Kristen maybe likes him?? Drama!

Wildly out-of-season, I know, but I needed a last-minute fill for the hc_bingo round 2 card, prompt "heat stroke."

( 'I've just moved here from England, so you're welcome to ask me any questions you have in preparation for our inevitable re-conquest of your charming little nation. Cheerio.' )

Title: When You Love Someone (And/Or Their Giant Head)
Rating: PG
Pairings/Characters: Various correspondent pairings
Warnings: Interspecies romance?
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For gaudy_night, prompt: "023. Lovers." Featuring...pretty much everything except Jon/"Stephen".

Clips referenced: Kristen; Larry and Aasif; Tad; appletinis; BriWi.

( Kristen finds a fantastic family-owned hole-in-the-wall pie place, and refuses to tell Olivia where it is. )

Title: Eight Roads Converged
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Liberal!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon, happy!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon, "Stephen"/Beck!Jon, real!Stephen/Jon, real!Stephen/Beck!Jon, Jon/"Stephen", Wyatt
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Ficlets written for a series of requests: what happens when people from various fakenews AUs cross paths. Featuring the liberalverse, the happy!verse, Jon's Beck incarnation, and the universe where Wyatt hosts the 11:30 timeslot.



For politicette, liberal!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon meet happy!"Stephen"/Beck!Jon

( 'Can I play with your hair?' )

For raven_hoodoo: "Stephen"/Beck!Jon meet regular Stephen/Jon

( 'My god, what have we wrought?' )

For w_thit: regular!Stephen/Beck!Jon meet regular!Jon/"Stephen Colbert"

( 'He's a nice guy, I'd be glad to have him as a friend, but you're the one that I want.' )

For aybara_max: "Stephen" meets Wyatt from a 'verse where Larry & Wyatt were always the hosts of the shows.

( 'We're not filming a 'my white friend' segment this week.' )

Title: E.B.B.G.A.S-T-T-F.F.
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: "Stephen", Olivia
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

For the prompt "Fixed" from politicette. Based on this video in which Olivia introduces her charity work, and clearly foreshadows her destiny to one day have "Stephen" as an arch-nemesis. (Or at least a foil.)

( 'What are you even doing here?' )

Title: Ratings-Grabbing For Two
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon, various audiences
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In today's issue of Neglected Commentfic Roundup Week, I bring you...mpreg!

The first line is ripped from canon; the rest of the fic just takes that and runs with it. And, yes, it's another of these fics.

( 'Coming up next!' interrupted Stephen, hands planted on the desk. 'More very important personal news that Jon Stewart doesn't have time to pay attention to!' )

Title: Microfics
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen"
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

A meme. The rules: Ten fics. Ten genres. Ten words or less.

Bonus references to Cardcaptor Sakura and Neon Genesis Evangelion (with art).


( Stephen's self-control is iron. )

Title: Five Other Correspondents Jon (Thought He) Seduced
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: Jon/everybody - specifically, "Stephen", Sam+Jason, John Hodgman, Aasif (offscreen), and Olivia
( Two disclaimers, with love )

The long-awaited companion to The Grey Wolf Is On The Prowl, as suggested by holly_cullen and girlanachronism. Jon considers himself a master of seduction. Most of his staff are just too nice to burst his bubble.

Olivia's scene is inspired largely by this interview.

( 'After all, if I don't submit to your every whim, my job could be on the line.' )

Title: Trouble Is A Friend
Series: Doctor Who; Good Omens
Characters/Pairings: Ainley!Master(/Doctor), Aziraphale
Rating: G

For a prompt from erie_potter, who wanted either Doctor/Master or Aziraphale/Crowley. Which somehow turned into the Master going book-shopping.

( 'I'm looking for a late early birthday present for my best enemy.' )