ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Silent (1/4)
Rating: G
Cast: Jon/"Stephen" (eventually), Kilborn, Madeline Smithberg, Steve, Sam, Chuck, Jimmy, Bobby
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Alternate universe. In 1998, the staff of The Daily Show (including star correspondent Stephen Colbert) gets a new addition: deaf writer Jon Stewart. Cue an otherwise familiar blend of jokes, politics, a young series finding its feet, and a long-term intimate relationship starting to bloom.

For purposes of this story, ASL will be indicated by italics, spoken English by quotation marks, and typed English by being set off in various ways. There's a lot of cross-language communication in here, and it should be easier to follow if it's instantly apparent which lines can be understood by which subset of characters. Credit and thanks to ASLU (Lifeprint) for providing vocabulary and grammar.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Embarrassing Noises

'M thinks it's a good fit for my sense of humor, and she's worked with me a bunch so she would know, but if this is going to be a nightmare, I won't shed too many tears if they dump me.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: All My Roads Lead To You (5/5)
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, Jon/"Stephen", (skip) Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In which Jon has to get his act together or else, and this turns out to be a proper crossover rather than a setting AU after all.

Relevant to this fic: a cat cuddling with baby hedgehogs. And as some of you noticed, Stephen's Sentinel/Guide not-romance novels are straight out of early Sentinel fandom (yes, even the "gen" French kissing).

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

—anger hurt suspicion fear mistrust determination Stephen you're the problem you're a threat — )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Ten reasons for the sleep loss after Jon knocked Stephen up (1-5)
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", families
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Previously, in this Omegaverse continuity: installment 1, installment 2 (whole series on the AO3).

The 2007 WGA strike and a hastily-planned wedding blow through Jon and Stephen's lives at about the same time. All while Stephen is more hormonal than usual, and Jon is struggling as a beta to rise to the alpha-shaped expectations being placed on him. Will they ever get a good night's sleep again? Will they at least manage to settle on a baby name?

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "insomnia."

'Besides, we can't haul an infant everywhere during the ceremony, so it needs to be now, so they can spend the whole day being very very clear on how fertile you are.' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Room For One More (2203 words) by faviconSailorPtah
Fandom: FAKE (Manga)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Carol/Bikky, Dee/Ryo

For Kaleidoscope 2012 over at [community profile] dark_agenda.

Doubles as a fill for "lost childhood" on my round 3 card in [community profile] hc_bingo.

( It's the exciting future year of 2002, and college freshman Bikky needs some fatherly advice while home for Thanksgiving break. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: All My Roads Lead To You (1/4?)
Rating: PG
Contents: References to war, 9/11
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, pre-Jon/"Stephen", kids, OCs
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Working off a kink meme prompt: "A Sentinel/Guide AU (in a similar vein to Observations on Sentinels and Guides in Victorian London or Jeeves and the Uncommon Senses) where Sentinels and Guides are a normal part of life. "Stephen" is a Guide who has been repressing everything to do with empathy, and Jon is a Sentinel who Does Not Want that kind of responsibility. Naturally they bond pretty much at first sight and go on to become the most oddly-functioning couple ever."

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Any map site could have given him directions to The Hospital With All The Americans At It. Siri probably could have found it with her digital eyes closed. But Stephen had no use for map sites. He was following his gut. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: And Dried Up All The Rain
Rating: Soft R
Contents: Sex, particularly fail!sex
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Sam, others
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Stephen opens up to the world about his relationship with Jon! And he's still fighting his sexuality every step of the way.

For the [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic summer fic exchange, prompt: Ace!"Stephen"/Jon. Jon gives up a lot to make his relationship work with Stephen. Shouldn't Stephen do the same thing for him? Prefer to have a classic "Stephen" breakdown/crying scene. Angsty or comedic. Also for my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "hugs".

Jon also did not need to know that Stephen was comparing him to ice cream and finding him wanting. There was no way that would go over well. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: And He Only Reveals What He Wants You To See
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Charlene, Jon/"Stephen", Jon/"Stephen"/Steve
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

...I'll post more normal fic soon, I promise. Just happened to have this finished. Companion to And He Never Gives In (he just changes his mind). Also mirrored on the AO3.

Stephen, an omega, has always been secure in one thing: he's guaranteed to be loved. Specifically, by the nearest available alpha, once every three months. So even though his parents don't approve of him not settling down, and Jon doesn't want a serious relationship, he gives every appearance of coping just fine.

His plans were vague but huge: breeze through this stupid history degree while making his mark as a performer, have a wedding with Charlene and a couple of her babies at some point in there, and then juggle being a fabulous television star who broke barriers for omegas everywhere with taking care of his angelic and photogenic children. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: I Got 99 Problems, But The Truth Ain't One
Rating: Through PG-13
Cast: "Stephen", Jon, Olivia, Kristen, Wyatt, Al, Elliot, Neil Degrasse Tyson, liberal!Stephen, John Oliver, Jessica, Jimmy, Rob Corddry, Tad, Ed Helms, Sam, Jason, Patrick Stewart, Al
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A compilation of single-sentence fics, written for prompt threads over several months until I cut them off after #100. Including lots of characters, various AUs, and two mini-continuities (one about "Stephen" recovering from an accident, one about his wife kicking him out).

Mirror on the AO3.


John declares his side to be Team Glasses, Wyatt counters by establishing Team Beard (and declaring Jon an honorary member), and they never actually get around to the game, what with spending most of the afternoon arguing which side gets to claim Al. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: A Lot Of What's Going On In This Story Has To Do With The Economy
Fandom: The Newsroom
Characters/Pairings: Sloan/Mackenzie (with canon background het)
Rating: Soft R
Disclaimer: The Newsroom characters and plot aren't mine. (Granted, much of it isn't Sorkin's, either...)

Sloan and Mac's conversation over drinks takes a different turn.

(Fixit fic for a bunch of the things I didn't like through episode 5, including such gems as "what could two lady characters bond over? Nail care!" and "Mac keeps being shown as hilariously incompetent with few competent moments to balance it out" and "incessant, repetitive telling-not-showing about the romances Sorkin wants to push, even when it's wildly inappropriate for the characters to do so" and "not enough lesbians." Also here on the AO3.)

'It's not a fiscal question,' said Sloan, her voice slightly muffled by the way she was nuzzling the slope of Mac's neck. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: And He Never Gives In (he just changes his mind)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: A/B/O. Just...A/B/O.
Characters/pairings: "Even Stepvhen", Jon and "Stephen" Colbewart
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In which Stephen's religion says some wacky things, Steve is shouty but ultimately helpful, and Jon is theoretically keeping order but in reality just trying to keep up.

So, yeah, this is fakenews Alpha/Beta/Omega fic. (Executive summary: it's like a BDSM AU, but built on a wider grab-bag of seemingly disparate kinks, often including going-into-heat, dub-con, mpreg/fpreg, knotting, rigid biology-based social roles, D/s, and breeding/mating. Although this story is about 5% sexuality and 95% worldbuilding.) Jon, a beta, doesn't date omegas. So far, nothing he's seen of Stephen is making him regret this policy.

References a 2007 Emmys sketch and a Billy Joel song. Also here on the AO3.

'Catholics believe that the ability to get pregnant is a gift from God. Heat is just God's way of making really, really sure you take that gift out of the packaging and try it on, instead of trying to sneak it back to the store. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: These Winds And Tides
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Established Jon/"Stephen", "Stephen"/OC
Contents: Non-con, victim-self-blaming
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Working off of a kink meme prompt. While in an established relationship, Stephen is assaulted by a third party. He's convinced he can't tell Jon — that Jon will see him as unfaithful, or blame him for letting it happen. (Spoiler alert: Jon won't.)

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, either "humiliation" or "job-related trauma". Title is from U2's "Drowning Man".

Mirror on the AO3.

Some things came easily. Stephen already considered himself entitled to chocolate and flowers on Valentine's Day, for instance, so Jon had an easy adjustment there. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
A sequence of ficlets written for prompts at [community profile] punditfic and [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic.

Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.


Title: Not Sure If Breakthrough
Series: TCR
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", OC
Prompt by [personal profile] kribban: The personal notes of Jon and "Stephen's" marriage counselor.

Re-evaluated considerations re: abuse. Encouraged J to employ reality testing. )

Title: Snowflake
Series: TCR
Rating: G
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: An image (at the end)

One of Stephen's creepy dimensional portals must have been holding the thing, and was now discharging it bit by bit: enough metal to form the frame of a mid-sized pup tent, and in almost as complicated a configuration. )

Title: Pulpit
Series: TCR
Rating: G
Cast: "Stephen", family
Prompt: "Warning signs," specifically from [personal profile] politicette: "Something about baby!"Stephen" and how if someone (Charlene?) were paying more attention, they would have honed in on a specific incident or two and caught how miserable and unstable he was growing up to be."

Stevie's standing on tiptoes behind the pulpit, on the velvet-covered footstool used by the kids who get called up to recite a prayer or light an Advent candle. )
ptahrrific: Madoka preparing to take on Walpurgis (madoka magica)
Title: L'Estasi di Santa Homura
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Homura/Madoka
Rating: NC-17
Contents: Spoilers, smut, surrealism.
Disclaimer: MadoMagi characters and plot aren't mine.

Who needs a corporeal partner to have great sex? Not Teresa of Avila, and not Homura, either.

A treat written for [personal profile] ember_keelty in [community profile] yuri_challenge. Also here on the AO3.

The ribbon traces its way up her thighs, brushing new pale flesh with each step. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: This Is Knot My Heart
Rating: NC-17 (bondage, masturbation, fantasy sex+aphrodisiac, language)
Pairing: Happy!"Stephen"/Jon
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

A tale from the happy!AU, same setup as Pink Ropes. Jon's a little shy talking about his fantasy life around Stephen. But Stephen wants to knooooooow. Clearly there is only one solution to this, and it involves elaborate bondage. With pretty knots!

For the [community profile] asexual_fandom Asexy Valentine's Fest. This plotbunny came into being after reading a couple of "asexual character in sexual situation" scenes, which left me craving a version of the scenario that didn't feel tormented and uncomfortable on the ace character's part.

That's an interesting point. And Jon really doesn't want to think about it too much right now, or he'll get distracted with images of ponies at some critical erotic moment. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Five Times Stephen Got A Green Light
Rating: R
Contents: Sex, D/s, forced femme, bondage, post-roleplay aftercare, language
Characters/pairings: Liberal!"Stephen"/Jon
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other Report writers, and I presume Viacom. The real person(s) are used in a fictional parody context.

Fic from TCR's liberal mirrorverse. In which Stephen is still not quite comfortable with kinking on being a Dom, and Jon provides constant reassurance via the stoplight-based safeword system.

This poor fic has been languishing half-finished for aaaaaages, until a certain recent sequence (alternate viewing link) made it fall into place.

Mirror on the AO3.

Stephen drops both the half-tied knot around Jon's ankle and the heavy bondage manual he had been consulting while tying it. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Blue, Thinking About You
Rating: PG
Characters: Jon/"Stephen", Siri, Meg, Tad, Gipper
Contents: Wifeless AU, ear!kink, bread abuse
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Stephen, anxious to know what Jon really thinks of him, stumbles on a way to find out for sure...which doesn't go at all the way he planned. Turns out Jon has more secrets than he bargained for (and in the meantime, Stephen's conscience just might be catching up with him).

Now with illustrations! Please read on The Zen and the Damaged to get the full effect (it requires code not supported on LJ/DW).

For a [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt from [livejournal.com profile] gaudy_night: Jon/"Stephen", after a freak accident, he gains the ability to hear what the other is really thinking. Title is from the carol Blue Christmas.

If you were trying to seduce your gay friend for purely exploitative purposes, and maybe enjoying his company and feeling that his happiness made you feel warmer than hot chocolate along the way, that was still safely heterosexual on your part. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Jealousy, Thy Name Is Stewberry
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", Jimmy Fallon, Wyatt, Kristen, other correspondents
Contents: X-Men: First Class spoilers, canon hobo death
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

While Stephen is off having exciting friendship adventures with his new best buddy, Jon copes with his totally-not-jealousy by dragging various correspondents on a series of ill-fated friendventures of their own.

For a [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic SeSa prompt by [livejournal.com profile] snobantiker: Jon/"Stephen", Jimmy Fallon. During the time of the BFFSM of Stephen and Jimmy, Jon gets jealous.

"Stewberry" is from Jon's hopeful suggestion for an ice-cream flavor, to go with Stephen's "Americone Dream" and Jimmy's "Late Night Snack."

Mirror on the AO3.

Jon pouted. Disgraceful, that was. Men their age had no business pouting, unless they were facing a truly heart-rending situation, like not being sent a free iPad quickly enough. )
ptahrrific: Madoka preparing to take on Walpurgis (madoka magica)
Title: Keepsake
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Kyouko/Sayaka, Homura
Rating: R
Contents: Depression; character deaths; (teen/teen) sex; spoilers for everything.
Disclaimer: Not my universe; I just play in it.

Scenes from a timeline where Oktavia gets averted, at least for a while. In which Sayaka is in a dark place, Kyouko is fighting to hang on to her, and neither is really in any shape to be sorting out her intense feelings about the other (but they make a connection anyway).

For the Kaleidoscope fest at [community profile] dark_agenda. My recipient didn't specify a mood...so this went and got amazingly angsty. Title is an allusion to a poem by Izumi Shikibu.

The world is distorting in a pool with Sayaka at the epicenter. )
ptahrrific: I want a girl with fingernails that shine like justice. (sailor moon)
Title: Artemis Parthenos
Fandom: Sailor Moon
Characters/Pairings: Venus/Artemis, Luna/Artemis, various royals
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Canon character deaths. Spoilers for the first arc and the Sailor V manga, plus light references to the rest of the series.
Disclaimer: The series, settings, and characters are not mine. All hail Naoko-hime.

Scenes from Artemis' past life, growing up and having girl trouble. In any other era, with any other girls, this wouldn't even have been a footnote to history; but these are princesses and royal advisors, in the twilight of the Silver Millennium.

For the Magical Girl Fic/Art Swap 2011; also here on the AO3. The princesses' names come from epithets used for their respective gods in Roman mythology, while their parents are named for the corresponding Greek gods. The poetry is from translations of Sappho; similar verses must have been written by her previous incarnation.

As long as I'm here, let me rec you this episode recap, featuring the Moon Kingdom's downfall in blank verse.

On the first day at the Foreign Planets Academy, the members of the youngest class milled around in tiny, species-segregated clusters. )
ptahrrific: Madoka preparing to take on Walpurgis (madoka magica)
Title: Charmed Lives
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Characters/Pairings: Mami and friend, Kyoko and sister, Sayaka and parents, Homura/Madoka
Rating: hard R (only for the last part)
Contents: Major spoilers; delicious yuri.
Disclaimer: I've got 99 ideas, but MadoMagi ain't one.

Post-series. It's a whole new world, and four girls get to grow up in it. (And, in Homura's case, have insubstantial shower sex in it.)

The game was in full swing, and there was one girl kicking circles around the rest of the third-grade class. )

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Erin Ptah

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