ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
A sequence of TDS/TCR ficlets written for prompts at [community profile] punditfic and [livejournal.com profile] fakenews_fanfic.

Blanket Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.


Title: Worldly Pleasures
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon/"Stephen"
Prompt: courtesy the Homolust Challenge Generator: "A racist monk + a clumsy stripper in a lab. They are frenemies. It must involve spanking."

'Kinda far from the cloister, aren't you? How'd that happen?' )

Title: The Heist
Rating: G
Cast: Olivia, Wyatt
Prompt: from They Fight Crime: "He's a lonely dishevelled master criminal fleeing from a secret government programme. She's a virginal antique-collecting hooker with someone else's memories. They fight crime!"

'As long as you follow my lead, we're gonna get your set of vintage pie plates back, I promise.' )

Title: One-sentence Easter fic
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: It's bunny day!

When Stephen shakes him awake in the morning... )

Title: Stephen's Worst Nightmare
Rating: G
Cast: Jon, "Stephen"
Prompt: Nightmares. From [personal profile] politicette: "Stephen" had a bad dream that all his hair fell out.

It's about four in the morning, and Jon really shouldn't try to answer his phone, but he's too groggy to remember that he can send it to voicemail. )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Rogues' Gallery
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon & "Stephen", others
Contents: Drugging, baby-kidnapping, sexualized brainwashing
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Four vignettes about four different villains, from the universe where "Stephen" is a forcefield-generating superhero and Jon is his Lois Lane. (A very belated response to some OT prompts.)

Fills some squares from my [community profile] hc_bingo round 4 card: "hostages" for #1, "making deals with demons" for #2, "brainwashing" for #3, "poltergeist" for #4.

'Where's your sense of adventure?' hisses the Eagle. His sidekick, the actual eagle known as Junior, fluffs its feathers in indignant agreement from its perch on the costumed crimefighter's shoulder. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Boys (and Girls) of Summer
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Descriptions of mania/depression, strained non-monogamy
Characters/pairings: "Stephen"/Jon, "Stephen"/Lorraine, "Stephen"/various
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

For [community profile] queer_fest, prompt: Any fandom, any character, Being queer and mentally ill, and knowing the difference between the two. "Stephen" is (enthusiastically) functionally bi when he's manic, and has no sex drive at all when he's depressed. His wife and his best friend try to manage him through his moods, and everyone (even Stephen himself) is mostly guessing as to where his genuine attractions fall.

( Lorraine is aware of her husband's escapades, and tries not to let them bother her. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Collar U
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", background Olivia/Kristen and Steve/Nancy, other correspondents, Jane Fonda
Contents: Sexual predator Jane Fonda.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

D/sverse, high school/college AU. Stephen's family doesn't believe in sending uncollared submissives to college, so Jon offers to collar him, at least through graduation. Cue a year of awkward deception, GSA shenanigans, platonic bed-sharing, one threatening incident with a certain pushy senior, and the triumph of the power of unrecognized romantic attraction friendship.

One of the shorter entries for my [community profile] longfic_bingo card, prompt "collar" or "pretend relationship". (This is Stephen's collar, by the way [source].) Mirror on the AO3.

'Who the hell gets collared at seventeen — sorry, seventeen and a half — these days? What do they expect you to do, work retail until you meet a cute dom in the checkout line?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Someone To Make You Come Through
Rating: PG-13
Cast: Jon/"Stephen", the bear, Sam, supporting OCs
Contents: Some gore + medical imagery.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Prompt from [personal profile] kribban, who wanted hurt/comfort about "Stephen" losing his arm during the bear-mauling at the 2012 Night of Too Many Stars.

Established-marriage fic. Title is from Company's "Being Alive." (Glee version / John Barrowman version / version with background Stephen.) Also on the AO3.

Ridiculous, impossible situations always seemed to work out when Stephen was involved. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: I've Got No Strings To Hold Me Down
Rating: G
Cast: Wyatt, Aasif, Jessica, John Oliver, Larry, Jon, various celebrity cameos
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Third Monday fic for [personal profile] count_nickula. (On the AO3.) After Wyatt delivers his final TDS segment, he goes off to travel the world. But he will always be with his Daily Show friends in some form. Specifically, felt.

'This week has been awesome. Crazy awesome. But I gotta move on. The road just keeps calling to me, you know?' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: John Oliver's Infinitely Recursive Fanfiction Adventure
Rating: G
Cast: John, others
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Based on a true story.

(The real-world John Oliver is advised to avoid reading this one, lest he rip a hole in the space-time continuum.)

AO3 mirror.

In fact...he had to scroll up and start rereading again, for purely fact-checking purposes, mind you. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Shout*For [Table of Contents]
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", "Stephen"/OCs, Jimmy Fallon, Olivia/Kristen, Wyatt, Tucker Carlson, Brian Williams, Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Anthony Weiner, other correspondents and cameos, a few OCs.
Rating: through R
Contents: Drinking/drugs, awful and/or neglectful adults, background *isms, teen/teen sexuality, sexual abuse of a minor.
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Fake news AU. Our heroes (and some villains) (and some imports from The Newsroom) are all performers in various blocs of the Disney tween music/TV/movie empire, which naturally is amazingly screwed-up behind the scenes.

Jon and "Stephen" are in a manufactured boy band with Jimmy and Tucker. They're about to get some cross-promotion with Olivia, the local equivalent of Miley Cyrus. These kids are only thrown together based on whatever will get the best publicity, but there are still genuine Best Friendships Forever to be forged...which is good, because with high-pressure careers in the fishbowl of celebrity, sometimes friends are the only thing that keep you going.

Chapters and bonus material )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: A River So Long: being a multi-season Love Story in three Acts, color-coded for Your Convenience (brought to you by Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow) (Act 1)
Characters/Pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Trevor Potter
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Sex, drugs, rock'n'roll
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

8) Prompt: Stephen's tirade on election night. "Then you realise you made a terrible mistake but it will be too late, you had the chance but you rejected him and now [Mitt Romney] will never want your [vote] again." We all know he meant "Jon" instead of "Mitt" and "love" instead of "vote."

The long-deferred romantic tension between Jon and Stephen ignites in the beginning of 2012. Trouble is, Jon's in something of an altered state of mind, thanks to that sudden infusion of unlimited and untraced cash....

AO3 mirror | Act I | Act II | Act III

It started, fittingly enough, with the SuperPAC. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Silent (4/4)
Rating: PG
Cast: Jon/"Stephen" (eventually), brief Jon/OC, Larry, Kristen, OCs
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Stephen finally finds a way to let his Daily Show explode into its full potential. The only question is whether he can bring Jon along with him. And how much longer it's going to take him to invite Jon to make out, already.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Embarrassing Noises

'I want to say yes, you are clearly some kind of mad genius (Allison-enabled or not) who has worked out the perfect way to give me everything I've ever wanted in life.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Silent (3/4)
Rating: G
Cast: Jon/"Stephen" (eventually), John Oliver, Wyatt, OCs
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Stephen's Daily Show goes through growing pains. Also, some literal pains, in the form of broken wrists and striking writers. At least it keeps picking up awards (for achievements in English and ASL both) along the way.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Embarrassing Noises

'I can understand why you're enthusiastic about this, Stephen, but think about what you'd be asking of people.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Silent (2/4)
Rating: G
Cast: Jon/"Stephen" (eventually), Sam, Rob Corddry, Ed Helms
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

With the defining themes of the Bush administration becoming clear, the odd-couple symbiosis that drives The Daily Show with Stephen Colbert hits rocky ground. Oh, and the building is haunted. Because evidently our heroes can't catch a break.

(Just now figured out that our!Jon used legit ASL on TDS that one time. Very exciting.)

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Embarrassing Noises

'Yes, how dare I expect the press to be allowed to do its job. What a shocking and offensive suggestion. Entitlement culture at its worst.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Silent (1/4)
Rating: G
Cast: Jon/"Stephen" (eventually), Kilborn, Madeline Smithberg, Steve, Sam, Chuck, Jimmy, Bobby
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Alternate universe. In 1998, the staff of The Daily Show (including star correspondent Stephen Colbert) gets a new addition: deaf writer Jon Stewart. Cue an otherwise familiar blend of jokes, politics, a young series finding its feet, and a long-term intimate relationship starting to bloom.

For purposes of this story, ASL will be indicated by italics, spoken English by quotation marks, and typed English by being set off in various ways. There's a lot of cross-language communication in here, and it should be easier to follow if it's instantly apparent which lines can be understood by which subset of characters. Credit and thanks to ASLU (Lifeprint) for providing vocabulary and grammar.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Embarrassing Noises

'M thinks it's a good fit for my sense of humor, and she's worked with me a bunch so she would know, but if this is going to be a nightmare, I won't shed too many tears if they dump me.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Resolution
Rating: PG
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", correspondents
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Follow-up to the 1/5/11 toss, in which Stephen makes New Year's Resolutions for Jon.

(Wifeless AU for Jon, post-divorce for Stephen.)

Mirror on the AO3.

22. Have more of those expensive spiced coffees around. I know how much Stephen likes them. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: All My Roads Lead To You (5/5)
Rating: PG-13
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, Jon/"Stephen", (skip) Jim Ellison, Blair Sandburg
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In which Jon has to get his act together or else, and this turns out to be a proper crossover rather than a setting AU after all.

Relevant to this fic: a cat cuddling with baby hedgehogs. And as some of you noticed, Stephen's Sentinel/Guide not-romance novels are straight out of early Sentinel fandom (yes, even the "gen" French kissing).

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

—anger hurt suspicion fear mistrust determination Stephen you're the problem you're a threat — )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: All My Roads Lead To You (4/5)
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, Jon/"Stephen", correspondents
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

In the midst of more dreams and a new case, the tension between Jon and Stephen crosses a line.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

'Honey, I know you both mean well, and that he's been very helpful to you in some areas...but when it comes to people I'd rather not have knowing the details of my sex life, it's him and any Republican senator at the top of the list.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Ten reasons for the sleep loss after Jon knocked Stephen up (6-10)
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Dan Savage, babies
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Previously, in this Omegaverse continuity: installment 1, installment 2, reasons 1-5 (whole series on the AO3).

And then there was babyfic. Featuring name help and other advice from [personal profile] politicette.

'I'm only allowing this because you're gay,' Stephen said haltingly as Dan knelt in front of him to get up-close and personal with Eleanor/Benjamin. )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: Ten reasons for the sleep loss after Jon knocked Stephen up (1-5)
Rating: R
Contents: Alpha/Beta/Omega and related consent issues, mpreg
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", families
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Previously, in this Omegaverse continuity: installment 1, installment 2 (whole series on the AO3).

The 2007 WGA strike and a hastily-planned wedding blow through Jon and Stephen's lives at about the same time. All while Stephen is more hormonal than usual, and Jon is struggling as a beta to rise to the alpha-shaped expectations being placed on him. Will they ever get a good night's sleep again? Will they at least manage to settle on a baby name?

For my [community profile] hc_bingo round 3 card, prompt "insomnia."

'Besides, we can't haul an infant everywhere during the ceremony, so it needs to be now, so they can spend the whole day being very very clear on how fertile you are.' )
ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)
Title: All My Roads Lead To You (3/5?)
Rating: PG-13
Contents: Metaphorical sex
Characters/pairings: Jon/Tracey, Jon/"Stephen", kids, Jimmy Fallon
Disclaimer: #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement. Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.

Sentinel Jon pulls his Guide's feelings back on track, so that Stephen can help him achieve greater sensory heights in their ongoing auxiliary police work. Now it's Jon's turn to have confusing feelings, and to drag the most important people in his life back and forth as he tries to balance them.

AO3 mirror | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

'I bet you anything the reason I bonded with you, and not any other Guide, has a lot to do with how much I like your voice.' )
ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Title: Enfranchise-Me Pumps
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Jon/"Stephen", Jessica, Wyatt
Disclaimer: Work of parody; work of fiction; the characters aren't mine.

The aftermath of Democalpyse 2012. Jessica unwinds, "Stephen" is a wreck for unexpected reasons, and Jon's getting lucky tonight in more ways than one. (AO3 mirror.)

'And you people really do this every two years?' )

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (Default)
Erin Ptah

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