ptahrrific: Jon and Stephen, "Believe in the me who believes in you" (fake news)Erin Ptah ([personal profile] ptahrrific) wrote,
@ 2009-06-05 10:34 am UTC
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Entry tags:genre: drama, pairing: "stephen"/other, pairing: "stephen"/steve/nancy, pairing: "stephen"/wife, pairing: jon/"stephen", pairing: jon/wife, pairing: steve/nancy, pairing: tracey/charlene, story: state of grace, ~expectingverse


Title: State of Grace
Fandom: TCR
Genre: Drama
Rating: Through NC-17
Length: ~108,000 words (plus ~8,000 words of meta)
Warnings: Sex, not always good; triggers, trauma, flashbacks; dissociation, memory issues; background childhood abuse (physical, emotional) and neglect; background young-adult sexual abuse, drug use, compromised-consent sex work; background stalking; mental illness, panic attacks, suicidal ideation; mild language, some physical violence.
Disclaimer: The Report characters and their universe are property of Stephen Colbert, the other writers, and of course Viacom. Not mine. While this story also makes references to real persons and places, the dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. No fake newsmen were harmed in the making of this fic.

An excursus to Expecting (and, thus, part of the Expectingverse), taking place between its final chapter and epilogue. Described in comparison as "the emotional equivalent of jumping into a cold pool after soaking in the jacuzzi." Stephen has a new baby, a new marriage, and the love of a good man — so, naturally, this is when he starts to fall apart.

The current version of the story is a much-needed revision from the original, betaed by the painstaking and phenomenal [personal profile] stellar_dust. Title comes from the Billy Joel song.


The Story


1. You'll Never Be Alone Again
2. Look Who's Coming To Dinner
3. Good Boys
4. Dog Days
5. Bananas Are Not The Only Fruit
6. Hiding and Seeking
7. In Nomine Patris et Filii et Amici Iudaici
8. Interfamilial House of Pancakes
9. Things Fall Apart
10. Some Revelation
11. In Sickness And In Health
12. Child's Play
13. Flowers and Thorns
14. Two Weeks, On Notice
15. Let The Cleansing Begin
16. He Wants Me To Want You
17. The Traumatized Child
18. It Takes A Village
19. The Traumatized Inner Child
20. We Are Here
21. Thy Daft Rebel Correspondent
22. Fruit and Consequences
23. A Shot At Diplomacy
24. Calls Each Of Them By Name
25. With A Little Help From My Friends
26. Chekhov's Alter
27. Separation Anxiety
28. Couples, Counseled
29. Well, Stephen's Just This Guy, You Know?
30. If You Liked It, Then You Shoulda...
31. Crane Dance
32. For The Love Of Dog
33. Animals and Children
34. Jon, Full of Grace
Epilogue: I Am America (And So Can We)


Bonus Features


(Fanworks)
Stephen's split personality, a drawing by the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] xx_azure_sky_xx
Unconditioniness, a mix by the unparalleled [personal profile] stellar_dust
Second Amendment Remedies, an AU ficlet by the delightful [personal profile] politicette
Alters, a mildly NSFW drawing by the stunning [personal profile] omelton

(Art)
—Original: Official Poster | Stephen's Repression
—Revision: The Four Faces of Steve
—Chibis: Little Steve ColberT | The Chibi Faces of Steve | Have A Banana | Stephen and the Colberts
—Kiss: Like The Rain | These precious things
—Sketches: Graceful | Five Ways of Looking
—Colored pencil: Bullet with Eagle Wings | For What I Didn't Say | Gratuitous baby love | Charlene Violette
—Illustrations: part 1, part 2, part 3

(Mixes)
Official Soundtrack
Tyrone Hunnibi (hypothetically)
After The Rain
Petit Fourth
but the crack let in light

(Other)
Movie Trailer
Profiles of the alters
Stephen's diagnoses (locked)
Bonus scenes


The Original Story

I'm leaving this version available because I'm a completist, and because some people have said it means a lot to them. However, if you're a new reader, please don't start here. Read the completed rewrite first. Afterwards, let it simmer for a while. Give the continuity some time to really sink into your mind. And even then, don't go back to this unless you feel a burning need to read something with the same arc and more plot holes.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, epilogue
Outdated illustrations | Extra sketches


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ext_1512: (pic#3544)


[identity profile] stellar-dust.livejournal.com
2009-06-05 03:46 am UTC (link)
Yay! \o/!

*is unparalleled!*

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-01-25 12:15 am UTC (link)
And now, only seven months later...*points to gdocs!*

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stellar_dust: Stylized comic-book drawing of Scully at her laptop in the pilot. (XF - scully me)


[personal profile] stellar_dust
2010-01-25 06:24 am UTC (link)
AWESOME. Notes have been left!

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[identity profile] rissaofthesaiya.livejournal.com
2009-06-05 08:01 am UTC (link)
Chapter 18 link is broken, it goes to chapter 17 instead. (I like the cold pool analogy.)

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2009-06-05 08:04 am UTC (link)
Fixed, thanks. (And all credit goes to [livejournal.com profile] sirdrakesheir for that one.)

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[identity profile] anais-rhys.livejournal.com
2009-06-05 08:37 am UTC (link)
Hurray! I was just about to rec this to someone but the ToC on your website had disappeared. Rewrite?? Hmm. (saves present form for posterity)

"the emotional equivalent of jumping into a cold pool after soaking in the jacuzzi."

Seriously, that sounds refreshing. This (FABULOUS WONDERFUL BELOVED) story is more like the emotional equivalent of near drowning after a naked polar bear dive. Exhilarating and life re-affirming. I am almost through re-reading it and got to the part where Tyrone tries to wear jeans and FELL OFF MY CHAIR LAUGHING. The funny relieves the hurt. ::read more::

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2009-06-05 08:32 pm UTC (link)
I thought someone might want to do that ^_^; (Save it, I mean, not rec it.) And, yeah, I decided I would rather have this story locked, so the TOC went poof.

Thanks :D

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[identity profile] wwanda.livejournal.com
2009-06-07 07:53 pm UTC (link)
i read this a while ago, but now that i see it reposted i really want to read it again. (darn you! i have work to do. which is, of course, nowhere near as interesting as you story.)

one thing, though:
chapter seven should be ..... et Amici Iudaici

it has to end in "i" so it's the same casus, genitivus, as "patris" and "filii". also, i've never heard the word habraeus before, it might mean jewish, but "Iudaicus" is certainly the more common word for it.

(yay, i never thought taking latin would ever come in handy!)

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2009-06-07 08:42 pm UTC (link)
Are you sure it has to end in "i"? Because "spiritus", which is usually the next word in the phrase, doesn't...

(The help is appreciated - I asked the Internet about the title before I wrote the chapter, and the Internet guessed basically guessed ^_^;)

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[identity profile] wwanda.livejournal.com
2009-06-07 09:47 pm UTC (link)
well, i always hate to say i'm absolutely certain, so i'll go with 99% sure.

spiritus belongs to the u-declination which means its genitivus ends in -us, whereas amicus belongs to the o-declination, the genitivus of which ends in -i.


though really, it's not important, just something i noticed and thought i'd mention. it is insignificant in comparison to the awesomeness of your writing, which is probably why i didn't notice this the first time i read it. :)

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2009-06-08 01:05 am UTC (link)
You do not have to serve this up with a huge scoop of flattery, I swear! I ask because I'm curious and I want to get it right, not because I'm offended by your knowledge of Latin =P

*fixes*

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[identity profile] wwanda.livejournal.com
2009-06-08 03:53 pm UTC (link)
er, sorry about that. bad habit, i know, but once you've been taught to use the sandwich method ("this is good, this could use some improvement, this is great") it's really hard to stop. please don't take it for insincere flattery, though, i really do adore your stories!

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I Can't read it


[identity profile] insane-child23.livejournal.com
2010-05-04 12:24 am UTC (link)
Hi. I'm kind of new to this world but I'd really like to read this. I'm logged in via livejournal. I'm 'of age'. But when I try to read the original story it says I'm not authorized. what do I need to do to read your wonderful story?!

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)

Re: I Can't read it


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-05-04 01:01 am UTC (link)
You need to be given access - which I've just done :)

You may not want to read this one just yet, as it's in the middle of a really thorough revision (which, as you can see, is about 75% done). There's plenty of other locked fic on the master fic index, though - feel free to browse!

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Re: I Can't read it


[identity profile] chaos-reporter.livejournal.com
2010-06-20 02:24 am UTC (link)
Hi! Could I possibly have access too? I read expecting(And a lot of your other amazing works) and I really want to read this one!! You're soo awesome*Flattery*! Please?

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)

Re: I Can't read it


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-06-20 04:07 pm UTC (link)
No flattery necessary XD As I've said, this is in the process of an Improving Rewrite, so I recommend waiting. But you now have access, to this and all my other locked fics, so peruse at will!

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ext_390514: Donna, with text saying "Hug me. I'm awesome." (Doctor: Ten grinning)


[identity profile] sophia-sol.livejournal.com
2010-05-09 10:13 am UTC (link)
Oh my god that's amazing. I know you said that it's best for new readers to just wait till the rewrite is up, but my insatiable curiosity won out, and wow. If the revised version is going to be even better than this it will be knocking-socks-off-brilliant.

(Reply to this


ext_12071: (pic#2818483)


[identity profile] gaudy-night.livejournal.com
2010-06-26 01:11 am UTC (link)
I'm very glad you left this up. You say it's under much-needed revision, but it's probably spectacular just the way it is! I can't wait to dive into another series of yours!

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-06-26 04:07 am UTC (link)
The revision is undoubtedly needed, and I look forward to being able to post it. (I'm getting towards the last few chapters, but my beta is currently out of the country XD) Still, I appreciate your confidence!

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ext_12071: (pic#2818483)


[identity profile] gaudy-night.livejournal.com
2010-10-30 11:56 pm UTC (link)
What thrills me everytime is how ridiculously *canon* the details in this story is. Your knowledge of all things TCR is encyclopedic.

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I can't read the story


[identity profile] roseotaku.livejournal.com
2010-08-05 07:19 am UTC (link)
This looks really interesting, but I noticed you have to be 'authorised' to read it. Could you please do that for me?

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)

Re: I can't read the story


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-08-05 08:02 am UTC (link)
No problem! The message just means it's locked. I've given you access =)

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Completely hooked!


[identity profile] xmstellou.livejournal.com
2010-08-09 09:03 am UTC (link)
I've just read Expecting, which had me completely hooked! Except now, I am having a hard time waiting for the revision on this one but I want to be able to read the version you want us to read! :-)

*shameful* But I must admit I couldn't resist taking a look at the illustrations. They are, as usual, amazing!

By the way, I saw some of your stories are locked. Could you please give me access so that I can read other amazing fics to help me fight my craving for this one? ;-)

Thanks!

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)

Re: Completely hooked!


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-08-09 12:06 pm UTC (link)
Access is all yours - enjoy!

I'm sorry this one is taking so long; my beta has had a busy summer. But it's in the home stretch...mostly ^_^;

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[identity profile] raven-hoodoo.livejournal.com
2010-08-23 11:58 am UTC (link)
I've managed to get hooked to all your stories that are accessible but I was wondering if you could please allow me access to your other stories. I've kinda got addicted to your writing :)

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-08-23 04:14 pm UTC (link)
Access granted, and thanks!

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madeofstars: (pic#425637)


[personal profile] madeofstars
2010-09-20 12:50 am UTC (link)
Is it possible for me to get access to the original? Or would you rather I just wait and read the new version?

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-09-20 04:03 am UTC (link)
You now have access to my locked fics; however, the new version is the one I want to stick in your mind, so I would really rather you read it first ^_^;

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madeofstars: (pic#425637)


[personal profile] madeofstars
2010-09-21 05:03 am UTC (link)
As you wish, my dear. It seems like there's a ton of other stories in the locked file to occupy me. Thanks!!

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[identity profile] gryffens.livejournal.com
2010-11-07 12:22 pm UTC (link)
I see you got rid of the "Jon, full of Grace" chapter title. Any particular reason? I always thought it was a particularly catchy/awesome/significant way of rounding off the story.

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-11-07 05:23 pm UTC (link)
I'm not sure it fits the action as well as it used to, so I've been toying with a couple other options. If none of them jump out at me, I'll be going back to the original =)

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gwendolynflight: (tara grr argh)


[personal profile] gwendolynflight
2010-11-12 08:37 am UTC (link)
Wow, this is just incredible. You have single-handedly sucked me into this fandom. Can I get access to your locked stories? ::craving more::

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-11-12 05:04 pm UTC (link)
Access granted. Thanks, and enjoy!

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politicette: (Lana Del Rey)


[personal profile] politicette
2010-11-29 02:13 am UTC (link)
psst. >_> the version of "second amendment remedies" that you link to is locked! but it's posted in my fic comm over here. :)

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ptahrrific: Woman with a notebook (writing)


[personal profile] ptahrrific
2010-11-29 04:00 am UTC (link)
Ahh, thanks! *fixes*

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