Entry tags:

fic exchange, genre: comedy, genre: fluff, pairing: gen, pairing: tad/bobby, series: fake news

Title: Or You Could Show Him How To Work Your Nail Guns
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Tad/Bobby, Stephen
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: A fluffy double drabble (i.e., 200 words exactly, not counting the title), written for one of the unclaimed prompts over at lgbtfest: 1086. Punditslash, Tad/Bobby, Something happens and now Stephen knows about their relationship. How do they handle being out to their boss, and how does Stephen's own repressed sexuality come into play?


Or You Could Show Him How To Work Your Nail Guns


In the summer when Bobby turned six, his parents got an addition built on their house.

He was told to keep away from the construction, because it was Very Dangerous and he could get Badly Hurt. But he wanted to know everything – how the nail gun worked, how they made cement, how they decided where to put the walls, all of it! – and spent the first week lurking around the site, ducking behind stacks of plywood whenever anyone glanced in his direction, taking in everything with a wide-eyed combination of terror and curiosity.

(And, okay, maybe a little fascination at the muscular men without shirts on, even then.)

When he brought this up, Tad laughed nervously. "Are you saying I should get to the gym?"

"No, no, nothing like that! My point is, that's exactly the expression Stephen's had ever since, well, you know."

("You know" involved a heated makeout session and a door whose lock was two days past its warranty.)

He nodded meaningfully towards the other side of the studio. Tad turned just in time to see Stephen ducking behind the audience seats.

"Huh," he said. "What finally made you back off?"

"Um. Only the ice cream truck."




Title: The Pun Was Too Good T'Eschew
Rating: PG
Characters/pairings: Stephen, Meg
Disclaimer: See above.

Summary: And another, with a slightly sadistic twist: 1079. Punditslash, Character!Stephen Colbert and Meg the intern, To Stephen, hitting on women is a way to force his sexuality into line. When Meg refuses his advances on the grounds that she's a lesbian (and it's *sexual harassment*) he decides that they can 'help' each other become straight. Meg is forced to teach Stephen a few things.

(You may want to do some background reading first.)


The Pun Was Too Good T'Eschew


"Are you really, really, really sure about this?" asked Stephen.

Meg – who had finally agreed to join his support group for Report staff struggling with deviant urges, raising its total membership to two – sighed. "Blah blah test our strength yadda yadda ladies talk too much," she replied. (Something like that, anyway.)

Stephen made it through the door before stopping again. "But what if they think we're like them?" he hissed, leaning close to be heard over the noise of the bar.

"Good point," said Meg. "Better do something heterosexual, just to make sure."

She gave the seat of Stephen's pants a healthy squeeze.

"There. Now we can start converting."

She gestured towards a large man with a handkerchief in his left back pocket. Stephen recognized the color from his extensive association with designer ties: hunter green, same as one of the hankies Meg was carrying. (The other was peach.)

Well, had been carrying, a second ago. She must have put them away.

"I have a good feeling about that guy," she confided. "Don’t jump into the heavy stuff right away, though. Start a conversation first. Tell him you're a big admirer of Papa Bear's. I bet that'll go over well."