Entry tags:

series: fake news, series: harvey birdman, series: the ambiguously gay duo, story: drawing the line

Title: Drawing the Line, episode 1.05: Code Pink
Rating: TV-14
Series: TDS/TCR; Harvey Birdman; The Ambiguously Gay Duo
Disclaimer: This is a work of parody. Although reference is made to real persons and places, the dialog, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only. The animated characters are copyright various studios, none of which are mine.

In which Birdgirl makes her entrance, although this is completely overshadowed by the entrances of the Ambiguously Gay Duo; and terrible, terrible double entendres ensue.

For those not familiar with the Duo, see clips here.

Table of contents here. Stay tuned for new episodes every Monday and Thursday, right here on this channel.



Drawing the Line
Episode 5
Code Pink


"Daddy will never realize it," muttered Judy under her breath as she changed, "but he's given me the perfect cover. All the time he thinks his daughter is out getting coffee, he won't realize that she has in fact returned—as BIRDGIRL!"

Once fully dressed in her homemade cowl, tights, and fake wings, with her pinstriped suit on top (it never hurts to look professional), Birdgirl made her dramatic appearance. "Hark! There is no need to call on other superheroes, for we have the world's greatest superheroes right here in this office: the Bird-Team!"

Nobody paid her the slightest attention. They were all gathered at the window.

Although it was frustrating to be ignored so thoroughly, Birdgirl's curiosity got the better of her. "What's everybody looking at?"


—


A strange vehicle flew high in the skies above Toontown. Its engines throbbed with power as they thrust it through the air. Its firm, rock-hard exterior gleamed. Its tastefully upholstered interior rang with the sounds of ABBA.

The men behind the wheel were not the Dynamic Duo, but they were a Duo nonetheless.

"Gosh, Ace," said the younger of the two men, a well-muscled blonde. "What do you suppose the trouble is?"

"I don't know, Gary," replied his companion, a well-muscled brunet. "All we know is that we got a code-red from our fellow hero Birdman. Something must be getting him down."

"In that case," declared Gary, "it's our duty, as concerned citizens, to help him get it up again!"

"Too true, old chum," agreed Ace, and brought the vehicle to rest.

Because of a slight kink in the engines, the DuoCar didn't so much "land" as "crash". Ace and Gary had never bothered to fix this, as they maintained that any kink which didn't hurt anybody was okay, and the car could always be started up again with a little bit of pumping.


—


"That's their super-vehicle?" exclaimed Phil. "God! It's disgusting! I'm just glad my dear innocent daughter Judy isn't around to see this. Oh, hello, Birdgirl."

"I don't see what's wrong with it," replied Stephen stubbornly. "It's probably very aerodynamic." He barely glanced at the new hero who had joined them. "Hello again, Ju—

"—Birdgirl!" cut in Harvey. "My sidekick. Whom you have never met before. Birdgirl, this is Stephen Colbert. Stephen, Birdgirl."

"Um, right," said Stephen, shaking her hand absently, his gaze still focused out the window. "Are we going to invite these guys in, or what?"


—


"Golly!" exclaimed Gary, as Harvey finished explaining the situation. "We heard about the trial, but we didn't think anything like this would happen!"

"We have to rescue Mr. Stewart quickly," declared Ace. "After all, if he's missing, who will host his show?"

"John Oliver?" suggested Gary. "He's pretty cute."

"That's true."

"Um, right," said Harvey. "Anyway, Professor Impossible said he hacked into your vehicle's automatic navigation system and fed it the locations of all of Reducto's last known bases."

"Hacked the DuoCar?" cried Gary. "But that's impossible!"

"Yeah, that's sort of his trademark."

"No, I mean, it's impossible because the DuoCar doesn't have an automatic navigation system."

"That's right," agreed Ace. "Gary and I still do everything with our hands."

"And mouths!" put in Gary cheerfully.

"Voice-activated GPS," Ace explained. "It's a wonderful thing."

"Ace likes it, anyway. I'm not so good at it. In fact, I suck!"

"That you do, friend of friends," chuckled Ace. "What's everybody looking at?"

"Nothing!" chorused Harvey, Judy Birdgirl, Phil, and Stephen.


—


When they actually checked the DuoCar, it became apparent that the GPS had turned into an impossibly friendly OnStar knockoff with impossibly precise directions.

"Best not to ask too many questions," said Harvey. "All right, the two of you can pilot this, while Birdgirl and I follow on the wing. Phil, can you find someplace to keep Mr. Colbert occupied?"

"Oh, no you don't!" cried Stephen. "I'm coming with you! When you find out that Jon has been the evil kidnapper all along, I want to be right there to say 'I told you so'!"

"You're not coming."

"I am too!"

"Aw, go easy on the man, Harv," said Ace kindly. "Why not let him come, if he's so eager?"

"He's a mostly-innocent civilian," declared Birdgirl. "As superheroes, it's our responsibility to keep people like him out of danger! Also, he can't fly, and I'm not carrying him."

"Oh, that's no problem!" exclaimed Gary. "He can ride the DuoCar!"

"Don't you mean ride in the DuoCar?" asked Harvey.

"Nope! There's only room for two in the cockpit, and it's a tight squeeze as it is!"

"He's right," put in Ace. "Gary and I are practically on top of each other!"

"But Stephen can ride on the front!" continued Gary. "He can straddle the hood, and wrap his hands around the pipes!"

"But your seats are protected by the windshield. I won't have anything between me and the wind," protested Stephen. "I mean . . . won't it hurt?"

"Don't worry, citizen," said Ace, putting a friendly hand on Stephen's shoulder. "We'll go slow. It's going to hurt a little, but if it gets to be too much, just let us know and we'll stop right away."

He blinked at Harvey and Birdgirl, who were staring in disbelief. "Now what are you looking at?"

"Ignore them," advised Stephen. "I'm coming, and you're taking me."

There could be no arguing with a statement so unambiguous, so it was four superheroes and one Hero who soared into the air.